All Is Not LOST: How I Friended Failure on the Island and Found a Way Home

by Shannon Kenny Carbonell

All Is Not LOST is the sad, funny, self-effacing yet soul-bearing story of what happened when one woman set aside a lifelong dream in favor of her kids, only to find herself battling her own ego and unfulfilled ambition. This is the memoir of former working actress Shannon Kenny Carbonell, and her own bittersweet account of the journey she undertook to reconcile her growing feelings of failure and the sudden loss of her identity. 

Shannon—wife of actor Nestor Carbonell of LOST, Bates Motel, and The Morning Show fame— knew she was making the better choice for her, no matter how painful, when she decided on full-time motherhood over her career. But little did she know that shortly after her family moved to Oahu, Hawaii, while Nestor shot LOST, Shannon would find herself desperate to feed the part of her that was suddenly starved of creativity and accomplishment. Just like the LOST survivors, she had crashed on an island that would test her, heal her, and surround her with the people who would eventually show her the way home.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

272 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 16, 2021

Reviews

[Read By Kyle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but it fell short quite a bit and I honestly wonder why it was turned into a book, because it really feels like a bunch of journal entries.

Firstly, I feel manipulated by the author tying this book so clearly to Lost and getting a bunch of the actors from Lost to promote her book. It was the reason I wanted to check this out, and while I knew it would be a more personal memoir and not Lost-centric, I thought it would atleast have some behind the scenes stuff occasionally. Unfortunately, there is nothing. Instead, she just kept pointing out scenes from Lost that mirrored how she felt. It felt extremely ham-fisted to me.

But on the non-Lost front, I also struggled with this memoir because, while the author is dealing with depression and depression is hard and different for everyone, she does not come across as very likeable at any point (and I say that as someone who was depressed for 10 years) and her reasons for falling into depression-'I want to be famous and I'm not, instead my husband is'- is just very shallow and her reactions to her kids/husband's behaviors are usually quite rude and self-centered.

The problem is, at the end of the book she reaches some sort of clarity, but it is set 11 years ago. I feel that she could have included some more current insights into why she was acting that way, or how she feels now. Another squandered aspect is that part of her depression is due to the unrealistic criteria put on actresses and the constant doubt and ridicule they are put through, and I think this isn't really dived into but is just briefly mentioned as reasons why she's insecure.

Ultimately, this book was a whole lot of almost interesting. I'd probably have given it 3 stars if it didn't pimp the tenuous Lost connection so hard.

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Aaron · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, I believe similarly to many other people who will end up reading this book, I was hooked in by the Nestor and LOST connection. And as it began I was really digging it. Who can't relate to personal failure and not meeting life's expectations? Many of us! But as it dragged on, I hate to say it, but I started to find her pissing and moaning to be a little boorish and whiny and selfish. I wanted to scream YOUR HUSBAND IS ON A SUCCESSFUL TV SHOW AND YOU'RE LIVING IN PARADISE - STOP BEING SUCH A DRAG! I get where she's coming from -she has her own hopes and dreams and disappointments, but sometimes you can't see what you have b/c you're simply not looking out the right window. I will say if you are coming to this book for the LOST stuff, you'll be very disappointed. There's just enough there to whet the appetite of a hard core fan like me, but any passing fan can skip this if that's why you're going to read it. It's not a big segment of the book at all. Honestly, I feel like there was a huge opportunity missed there to dive into the show and the behind the scenes stuff even more - what a perspective she could have given! I spent a week in Hawaii (and we did TONS of LOST related stuff while we were there) and I've never wanted to get on a plane home less in my life so I can definitely relate to the part where she agonizes about leaving the island, but honest to god, if any family could work out a permanent stay there, it's probably hers. So once again, it makes me roll my eyes at her complaining. And they went home to freaking LA (also an amazing place!) - like, you weren't going back to a third world country or something. I dunno, she comes off ungrateful at times and spoiled. Life is full of disappointments, for all of us. And yet she still got to act! How many people in that business can't even say that much? A lot. There's many of us who would trade places with a situation like hers in a heartbeat. But fair to say the book does a great job of showing that famous families have struggles too, but I think most of us realized that already. This book was ok. She had me on her team at first but as it drug on she LOST me.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a huge LOST (the show) fan and was excited to win an ARC of the book through GoodReads Giveaways. I enjoyed Shannon’s story and her journey, finding her very relatable with her struggles about motherhood and anxiety/depression. I enjoyed the tributes to LOST and the parallels with what was going on in Shannon’s life at the time. Overall a very good read!

[Michelle Beginandendwithbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

What could an Australian-born former actress living in LA have in common with a former teacher living in Illinois? Motherhood, for one. After reading All is Not LOST by Shannon Kenny Carbonell I learned that the author and I share the experience of stepping away from our careers in exchange for supporting roles as our spouses’ careers gained momentum. I believe that many women and mothers will relate to Shannon’s range of emotions shared in her debut.

All is Not LOST is a memoir of the author’s time spent on O’ahu, where her family lived for a year while her husband, Nestor Carbonell, worked on the set of the popular TV series LOST. Prior to the move, Shannon decided to leave her career as an actor in order to spend more time parenting her two sons. During her time in Hawaii, Shannon struggled to come to terms with this decision while she rediscovered her place in the world with the help of the beauty of nature and the support of new friends.

I never thought I’d relate to someone from the world of Hollywood, but I did. Who hasn’t asked the question of themselves, should I be doing more? Should I BE more? I know as a stay-at-home mom, I ask myself these questions often.

I have never seen LOST (sorry!), but I still enjoyed reading All is Not LOST, but I think that fans of the show will appreciate the memoir even more.

I love that the memoir includes examples of the healing power of female friendships--a phenomenon I have experienced and treasure. I also appreciate the author's honesty and vulnerability.

Nature and travel lovers, if you would love to go along with Shannon as she describes the natural wonders of her temporary home--the island of O’ahu--then read this book.

I was gifted a copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.

[Zach Koenig · Rating 3 out of 5]

Right out of the gate, the first thing that needs to be said about "All Is Not LOST" is this: if you come to this book looking for any substantial material about the TV show LOST, you'll likely be disappointed (maybe substantially so). Only passing references/connections are made to the show, to the point where one could almost make a "false advertising" claim on the cover image/title.

That being said, "All Is Not LOST" isn't a horrible read by any stretch of the imagination, even if your expectations are elsewhere. It is essentially the story of how Shannon Kenny Carbonell (wife of Nestor Carbonell, or "Richard Alpert" of LOST fame) came to "find herself", in a sense, during a year-long Hawaii stay with Nestor and their two boys while he was a full-time cast member of the show. Shannon, herself a former actress, talks very openly about the challenges of leaving her career behind and adapting to "full time Mom" and all the sacrifices/expectations that brings with it.

Thus, my experience with this book ended up being rather odd. I'll readily admit I was pulled in by the LOST show angle and was a bit letdown as to its sparseness. My exact rating would be 2.5 stars. However, a big reason why is because--as a 35-year old single guy--I truly struggled to relate to the issues Shannon Carbonell was facing in her life (and the writing isn't quite good enough here to MAKE me care/emphathize).

I can fairly easily "round up" to 3/5 stars, however, simply because one thing is very clear: this story is incredibly important to Shannon herself. That is abundantly clear, and is something I have at least a certain amount of respect for. While the content was a bit different from what I was expecting--and difficult to relate to--I can see others (especially women/mothers) enjoying it much more than I ever could.

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was not at all what I expected. The author's connection to the tv show LOST, and its promotion by actors from that show, led me to believe that there would at least be some intertwining of personal memoir and anecdotal tales from the show. Alas this was not the case at all and as a result not something in all honesty I wanted to read.
I'm sure the author is a lovely person, but there was no substance to this book at all. It reads more like a personal journal and maybe should have been an article or short essay instead of an entire book. There is just not enough there to fill the pages.

[Dyane Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Shannon Kenny Carbonell's memoir for a myriad of reasons. Despite her impressive accomplishments in the cutthroat field of acting., she's unflinchingly honest about her personal and professional insecurities.

I'm a Los Angeles native, and I come from an entertainment family. I've read countless actors' memoirs and I found "All Is Not LOST" to be unique in this literary genre. "All Is Not LOST" is a worthwhile, fascinating read.

[Serena · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars! The authors writing is so beautiful, so elegant, and so piercing. Her authenticity, vulnerability, and voice made this book special. I have never seen LOST, so that held no weight for me. Her descriptions were magic and the character growth was good, although a bit abrupt at the end. She really does a good job of bringing you into her story of reconciliation of self.
Won from a Goodreads giveaway!

[Jessica]

Won in a give away...
not what I expected and couldn’t finish

[Carolyn Klear · Rating 2 out of 5]

So sorry, I hate a negative review. But I did not like the book or the main character. Could not relate in any way. I just couldn’t see spending anymore time reading story.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a huge fan of the popular series, LOST, I found out about this book while listening to a podcast about the show. From the interview with Shannon, I knew the main thrust of the memoir would be about her own struggles, though I was hoping there might be more about the show and actors on it. I'm not sure if she chose to refrain from talking much about the actors to protect their privacy, or if she really didn't have a lot to do with them. I would have loved it if she had had more of a connection with them or their spouses, but in the book there is only a small amount of that content.

Certainly she took some advantage of her connection to LOST to get some publicity for her book, but I don't fault her for that. The memoir itself was both illuminating and at times exasperating and I have to commend her for baring so many of her flaws. At times she was hard to like, but in this way I was reminded of the characters on the show LOST who were also hard to like at times. While reading, I often thought she would have been a good candidate for the Island.

As someone in another creative field who also walked away from a middling career (though at a much later date in my life) I could really relate to her struggles and feelings about her decision. Yes, it can be very selfish at times, and a bit of a wallow, but she was truthful about her journey and so when she came to some good closure at the end I felt she had earned it.

I didn't love this book and the writing was not what I would call beautiful, but it was honest, and to me it was worth reading.

[ReadingintheSouth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t really know what to say about this book aside from it’s unrelatable and the author comes across as whiny, ungrateful, and self centered.

I have a family history of depression and deal with it myself, so I do understand what those lower-than-lows feel like. I get it, I do. However, reading essays about how someone who actually managed to find some work in LA seems to be dragged by her dashing, hard working, faithful husband to Hawaii for a year just doesn’t hit it for me. I just don’t get her, I guess.

She’s moaning her current state while spending time with family. She’s moaning her current state because her husband makes enough to put them in a really nice house. She’s moaning her current state when her adorable kids show her how much they love her. She’s moaning her current state on a bike ride with her family. I just **don’t get it.** I read books either for the escape or to learn something new and give me something to think about. The only thing I was thinking about at the end of the story was how I hope her kids grow up and have opportunities to heal from what they apparently dealt with from their mom, and that I hope she sees the value in couples counseling, because by her own words of how she acts and things she’s done she’s bringing really toxic behaviors to her family.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I admit, the reason why I picked up this book was because I'm a huge LOST fan and saw that a few of the actors were posting about it. The only thing I knew about the author, Shannon Kenny Carbonell, was that she's the wife of Nestor Carbonell, who plays Richard Alpert on LOST.

Kenny Carbonell writes about her year living in Hawaii, while her husband worked on LOST. In her 40s, she struggled with anxiety and depression after ending her acting career to focus on motherhood and family. After moving to Oahu, she has to navigate an entirely different life but ultimately finds healing through the people, friendships, aloha spirit and beauty of the island.

I loved how raw and honest she was in sharing her insecurities, making her very relatable. As a Hawaii native myself, I also appreciated her attention to detail when describing various places around the island as well as how she really embraced her experiences. I actually found it heart wrenching when she reflected on her time there and how she didn't want to leave.

If you're a LOST fan, you'll also appreciate some of the behind-the-scenes moments and how she draws parallels to the show.

Overall, a lovely memoir and worth a read!

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book not because of the TV series LOST but because I know Shannon Kenny from a TV series she was in called 'The Invisible Man' that I was a big fan of back in the day. If you are after a memoir that spills the beans on LOST gossip and what happened on set then you will be disappointed in this book. In fact Shannon barely talks about her work as an actress except for the emotional impact giving up her dream had on her.

This book is in fact about a personal journey of discovery. Giving up a dream you have worked hard on. Dedicated significant years of your life to and and even moved to another country to pursue is not an easy thing for anyone. But its a story many women know who have had children. They refocus most families lives and often force women away from careers and this is in reality what happened to Shannon. It's a common story and not just in Hollywood.

Knowing you can't go backwards, clinging to her old dreams which didn't want to let go and finding a way to re-focus is what this book is about. Its a personal journey told with honesty and I thought it well written. Just don't get this book and expect an entertainment memoir because that is not the story the author is aiming to tell.

[L.B. Sedlacek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Getting Lost to be Found in this gutsy book

At first, I was uncertain if I’d like this book or not because I’ve never seen the TV show LOST and I’ve always been a working mom. Truth be told I’d rather read a book or swim than watch a TV show and I would’ve never been able to give up the structure of working. I’ve been working since I was 12 and had my dreams too much like Carbonell. This is a worthy read for any mom coming to terms with the life shift that happens when you become a mother. And if you’re a creative person you need the opportunity to continue with that as any mother would need to still be able to access that which gives her life before and after motherhood. Carbonell’s writing is emotional and raw but eye opening and comforting to read. This is one of those books you’ll read and feel like the author could be someone you could talk to anytime about anything and she’d understand. I’m unfamiliar with Carbonell’s work as an actress (because I watch very little TV) but I think she’s found her calling with writing!

[Nina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm trying to have compassion for the author since she writes she suffers from depression. I also have a family history of depression so I know it can be tough and rough. One star is for her brave honesty.
However, this is a journal collection from someone who has some deep insecurities and narcissistic issues. It's hard to read, I always finish books, even really terrible books. It's hard because she is not very relatable. I sympathize with mothers, all types of mothers, but had a hard time with the woman who lost her 4 year old because she was too preoccupied about margaritas. She is brutally honest but her self depreciating feels false. Her human moments are suppose to create a bond with the reader but it just feels more cringe. She not only not relatable, she's unlikable.
This is an desperate attempt to associate with LOST the TV show, but all her experiences are a desperate associate to anything famous so it's more of theme. This book was just disappointing.

[Stuart Diamond · Rating 1 out of 5]

Seems the only positive reviews are the ones who received the book for free? Her husband was only in 38 episodes of LOST and wasn't even a main character? Writer wasn't an A list actor at any time so not sure why it goes on and on about giving up an amazing career? She only has 30 credits on imdb?!? 95% are just 1 episode extra parts? No leading character parts?
I am genuinely confused.
Definitely not okay to reference the show to get people to buy the book - Book isn't about LOST and writer comes across as a narcissist who is jealous of the fact that her husband works and she does not? I don't get how this was turned into a book? Should have been a blog if anything?

[Kara Teel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book makes me want to visit Hawaii, but also reminded me that we are all lost at times and trying to find our way in this world, whether you are a former famous actress or just an average Midwestern girl. The struggle among being a wife, mother, following your career dreams, being a friend, being a daughter....balancing it all and finding happiness has definitely been real in my life, as well as dealing with depression and not feeling like I belong at times. So this memoir was 100% relatable for me and reminded me that I’m on the right path.

Bonus: I love her writing style.

[LeeAnn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the idea of this memoir. Shannon does a fine job sharing about her life and her feelings. I just expected... more. I guess. I think it was supposed to be inspirational, but I never really had that aha! moment I've experienced with other memoirs.

I'm thankful to the author and publishers for allowing me a preview copy. I liked this book enough to share it with all of you.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted this memoir to be so much better than it was. The author goes through very little personal growth and comes across as really, really unhappy through most of the book. I kept waiting for her to call a dr so she could get some help, but she never did. She stumbled her way through her year in Hawaii without ever really attaining happiness.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

Going through the 'if only I did it this way' or 'if I could change the way things happened in my life' is something we all have had to deal with and live with. Not being able to let go with what you saw how your life was supposed to be and what it turned out to be is not always to deal with. However is this author wanted understanding and sympathy for how her life turned it out...sorry no can do. I wasn't jealous of her life but if I had to sit with her and have coffee and listen to her go on about how she couldn't be completely happy because because she didn't become the famous actress she intended to be, but she did get to act, she married a caring, hard working, ( not bad to look at) that loved her very much, who had to move her to Hawaii for a year to work on the set. Two sons that sounded pretty awesome. Honey, you need to sit down with the author "Honey Go Wash Your Face" not for advice but you two could try to out top each other on how difficult and hard your lives are and both not win.
Gees girl go work at soup kitchen, deliver meal on wheels, a battered women's shelter, get involved is something that shows you how great your life is and be thankful for what you have. Oh if you think your depression is bad now wait till you hit menopause.

[Marlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful

If you're like me, you grabbed this book because of the LOST connection. If you're like me you also fell in love with this book because of the lost connection. It is the story of every woman that trades one dream for another. Read it. It's phenomenal.

[Diane Hassler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goodreads giveaway

Great story about all the hats we all wear as we go through life. We can all relate to the changes we all go through with friends family and people we work with and other people we know.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who Cannot Relate?

I enjoyed Shannon’s telling of her journey to find herself as she moves through life’s stages. It is a journey most of us can relate to if we are honest with ourselves.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it surprising to realize how much I have in common with a former actress and wife of a LOST actor. Thank you Shannon for baring your soul here and helping me understand some of my own feelings of loss and finding acceptance with myself.

[Mary]

Interesting read

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, often as mothers we tend to feel that we lose a bit of ourselves. The author relates her struggles and how she ultimately found peace.

[Angela Randall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a Goodreads giveaway winner. Interesting.

[Kathy Webb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this Kindle edition book in a Goodreads
Giveaway. Thank you to everyone involved.
Interesting book.