I've so gotta stop judging books by their covers.
My artsy-fartsy brain glommed onto Inquisitor's cover design. The kind of cover that works at multiple scales, including as a teeny, thumbnail image. A lone, dark figure strides forward against a simple, but dynamic backdrop of cool-toned blues and flame-hot yellow, with the latter grounding the image. The kind of design that pulses with a great sense of narrative.
The first few pages of the novel aren't bad. The protagonist, Allison, is obviously the standard loner, somewhat embittered female archetype of urban fantasy, but she seems to possess the sharp, observational humor I love. The initial setup is straightforward. Allison, an accountant, has been summoned to New York by one of her wealthy clients, Mark. Mark is calling in a favor, and it's a big one. Allison is to attend some fancy Halloween shindig with him, where she'll be his pretend fiancee. Mark's mommy has already picked out a wife for him, and apparently Mark can't grow a pair and tell mummy dearest that he's grown man capable of finding his own spouse.
There's a suggestion that Allison has a crush on Mark, but it's unrequited and besides, she's actually a 170 year old witch-hybrid.
Hardly original, but okay, I was still engaged. Next, Allison goes shopping for an appropriate outfit and during the course of that trip it's revealed that she's rich as Croesus. There's the obligatory scene where the snooty salesperson assumes that her scruffy self can't afford the $100K necklace she's eyeing. You know, the kind of scenario where it turns out she can more than afford the overpriced bling and the salesman eats crow? Sometimes, this works and I, the reader, am like "Take that, Snooty McSnobPants," but this time? Eh. Allison just comes off as arrogant and charmless.
Things proceed to go downhill from there. Mark's mom, who is dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West, turns out to be a witch. And Mom hates Allison, until she loves her, until she hates her. What? Yeah, exactly. The party theme is murder mystery, except the fake murder victim is actually dead. But...no one cares. Because....reasons?
The writing is too sly, thinking that by dropping a few hints, it's creating drama and mystery. As I've noted in other reviews, "No, just no, writer folk. You know your world; I, however, DON'T know shit about it. Be too coy, and I'm digging through my Too-Be-Read pile, looking for something else to read." Inquisitor is so obtuse that it lacks any urgency or sense of danger. Nothing is at stake.
For the majority of the 38% of the story that I read, detail is lavished on Allison doing really mundane shit like getting her best friend a job with her company. And renting cars. And staying in hotel rooms and getting haircuts. And making phone calls in which Allison commands her many underlings--because she's rich, so very rich! There are constant reminders of her wealth. And also, her angst, because living for a zillion years sucks. Mortals die and she haz teh sad. And she's rich. Did I mention, she's rich? ZZZZZZzzzzzz.
Uh, magic? Not much, there. She turns into a wolf once and tries to eat some witches. Because...they are messing with the seasons and apparently Allison is also in charge of the seasons. Wait...what? *Shakes head, confused, like a dog with a big tick in its ear.*
I think this was free. Lawd have mercy, I hope this was free.