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172 pages, Paperback
First published September 28, 1996
‘Sometimes it seems that, like an ancient Greek, I write mostly about the dead and death. If this is so, I can only add that it is done with a sense of urgency which belongs uniquely to life.’
‘What is special about her handwriting? It is patient, conscientious – like a student’s – but each letter – whether Roman or Greek – has been formed (almost drawn) like an Egyptian hieroglyph, so much did she want each letter of each word to have a body.
She travelled to many places and she wrote wherever she was lodged, yet everything she wrote might have been written here. Whenever she had a pen in her hand, she returned in her mind to this table in order to begin thinking. Then she forgot the table.
If you ask me how I know this, I have no answer.
I sat at the table and read a poem which had marked a turning point in her life. In her hieroglyphic handwriting she had copied out the poem in English and learnt it by heart. At moments when she was overcome by despair or the pain of a migraine behind her eyes, she used to recite it out loud, like a prayer.’
‘When I was sixteen years old a tram depot in London – was it south of the river in New Cross? – made a deep impression on me. First because of the number of trams – there were a hundred or more – and, secondly, because of how close together they stood to one another, their lines having converged closer than they ever did outside in the street. The trams stood there at night, silent, empty, with only the width of a man’s shoulders between them. They were long, double-decker trams with steep turning staircases at each end and their large windows, aft and stern, were rounded. Before it was light, one by one, the trams would leave the depot for the four corners of the city, each following the rails of its own route.’
‘In the London underground stations a number of platform benches have recently been replaced by a new piece of public furniture. A kind of perch – which allows waiting passengers to take the weight off their feet and thus lean back a little. Its notable advantage is that no tramp can lie down on it to sleep. At night when the woman with the chapka lies down on a piece of cardboard which she places on the station asphalt, she doesn’t take off her white shoes but just loosens the laces so they don’t pinch her feet, which swell up at night like my mother’s did.’
“On these islands, Aeschylus said, there’s nothing but marble and goats and kings. In the mid-afternoon the ship puts us down on Sifnos. On Sifnos there are also olive trees, bitter laurel, vines, hibiscus, cacti.
Along a mule track, near a small cemetery where there is a white chapel, the size of a cart, with candles burning in it, three men are working together under an acacia tree and they are skinning two goats whose hind legs have been tied to one of the lower branches. Their dog, smelling the blood, whimpers. Tomorrow is the feast of Pentecost – the fiftieth day after Easter. In the churches sprigs of eucalyptus will be distributed and later the goats will be eaten.
Then suddenly as the light goes and I look over the cemetery towards the sea, I ask myself: What can flesh mean here? Sarka in Greek. All over the world women and men picture their bodies to themselves differently, for this picturing is influenced by the local terrain, the climate, and the surrounding natural risks. Like local crops, mental images of the flesh are regional. What is the Aegean image? It has, I think, little to do with scuba diving.
Flesh here is the only soft thing, the only substance that can suggest a caress; everything else visible is sharp or mineral, shattered or gnarled. Flesh here is like the small exposed painted parts of those ikons which otherwise are entirely covered with unyielding and engraved metal. (You see them in every church.) Flesh is simultaneously wound and healing. Look at us, said the old woman to the ship’s officer, all of us!
Consequently the body is aware of a cruelty even before it is aware of pleasure, for its own existence is cruel. Thus for everybody, not just philosophers and theologians, the physical lurches constantly towards the metaphysical. The lurch doesn’t require words, a glance is sufficient. There’s nobody here who isn’t an expert in longing, in the long drawn-out desire for a life a fraction less cruel. And oddly, this co-exists with the beauty and is part of it.’
‘I’m looking for a whet stone to sharpen knives with. (Simple pleasures: to gather flowers in the morning and bring them into a room and place them in a vase. To cut with a sharp knife. To splash cold water on the face after sleep. To receive a letter from a loved one.) I go from stall to stall. Nobody is beautiful. Everyone is second-hand and powdered with dust. Everyone has at least one joke. And some have a pride which outdoes beauty.’