Today We Go Home

by Kelli Estes

Larkin Bennet, a soldier coming back from Afghanistan discovers a family diary from a female soldier in the Civil War. The similarities to herself are striking and this diary helps Larkin get through a transitioning period from soldier to civilian. Themes of PTSD are developed.

Genres: Historical Fiction, Fiction, Civil War, Historical, Book Club, Contemporary, War

376 pages, Paperback

First published September 3, 2019

About the author

Kelli Estes is the USA Today bestselling author of SMOKE ON THE WIND, coming June 2025. Her first novel, THE GIRL WHO WROTE IN SILK has been translated into twelve languages and was the recipient of the Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association Nancy Pearl Book Award and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association Star Award (Debut). Her second novel TODAY WE GO HOME was the nationwide Target Book Club pick for September 2019. Known for dual-timeline stories that show how history is still relevant to our lives today, Kelli is passionate about learning all she can about people and events that shaped our world. Kelli lives in Washington State with her husband and two sons. Find Kelli on Facebook, Instagram, or at www.kelliestes.com.

Reviews

[Kelli Estes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book. 😊 I hope you like it!

[Lisa Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Today We Go Home took my breath away.

In this dual timeline novel, we follow two separate but interwoven and related threads. The main character in the contemporary timeline is Larkin Bennett, a US Army veteran who receives a medical discharge after being wounded in action in Afghanistan, now suffering from PTSD and the tremendous guilt she feels over the death of her best friend. And as Larkin explores her friends' personal effects, she finds a family treasure -- the diary of Emily Wilson, who fought as a man in the Civil War. Through these two remarkable women, we see devotion to duty and family, as well as the toll that war takes on a person's soul.

Larkin's story is moving and tragic. She was never happier than in service to her country, and felt a calling to the military. Her best moments were when she and her friend Sarah were side by side, whether in college, in training, or in Kandahar. But Larkin, when we meet her, is emotionally destroyed by her experiences, turning to alcohol to numb herself and drown out the memories that haunt her every moment.

Larkin's family is supportive (can I mention how much I love her grandmother and cousins?), and they do what they can to help, but there's just so much that Larkin has to process on her own, and she resists reaching out for professional help. Her growing obsession with Emily's diary gives her a purpose, and the more she reads, the more determined she becomes to both tell the stories of military women and to find out more about the real Emily Wilson.

Meanwhile, Emily's story is equally powerful. After her father and oldest brother ride off to join the Indiana regiment heading to support the Union cause, Emily is left behind on the farm with her younger brother Ben, expected to just wait at home and be content with "women's work". When their father is killed and their brother takes ill, they set off to go take care of their brother, and from there, they decide to enlist. Emily is both called to serve and determined to protect Ben at all costs, and together, they join their late father's regiment and learn to become soldiers.

Emily takes the name Jesse and poses as Ben's brother, knowing that she must keep her gender a secret. She finds that she's actually good at soldiering, and starts to love the freedom that comes from being seen as male -- the freedom to work, to speak her mind, to not hide her skills, to pursue what she wants.

She would never again settle for a life where her every action, even her thoughts, were controlled by someone else. From now on, no matter where life took her, she would live on her own terms.

The threat of discovery is always present, and the true meaning of going to war doesn't really sink in until the regiment enters its first battle and Emily gets a close-up view of shooting at the enemy and being shot at.

The general shook his head. "I will not send you back to the field. You can no longer impersonate a soldier, do you understand me?"

Emily had to look away from his accusing glare. She had not been impersonating a soldier. She had been a soldier. "Yes, sir."

The author does an amazing job of weaving together these two stories. Some dual timeline books feel forced, or as if one only exists as a frame for the other. Not so here. You know it's a well-done approach when both halves of the story feel so compelling that you hate to leave each one to switch to the other. When an Emily section would end, I'd want more... but then I'd get re-involved in Larkin's story, and couldn't imagine wanting to read anything else but her story.

Kelli Estes has clearly done a tremendous amount of research into both women serving in the Civil War and into the plight of today's veterans, especially the staggering rate of PTSD and suicide among women veterans. She provides a list of reference materials as well as information on support for veterans at the end of the book, and is definitely doing a great service herself by calling attention to the issues confronting today's combat veterans.

She set the diary aside, thinking about Emily's struggles. They were timeless. Even now, over a hundred and fifty years later, female veterans faced many of the same challenges that Emily did: being seen as inferior because of her gender, not being able to find work after being discharged from the military, earning less than men, becoming homeless.

Some of the social commentary is really spot-on, such as Larkin's anger over the general lack of interest and awareness she encounters once back in the US. To Larkin, she was serving in Afghanistan to protect the United States, yet most Americans seem indifferent or unaware of what's going on there and the sacrifices being made by American service men and women. Likewise, she is understandably infuriated when a clueless man, who spots her wearing an Army t-shirt, asks her whether it's her father or her brothers who served, failing to recognize the very real service of hundreds of thousands of women.

Today We Go Home is beautifully written and is so very powerful. I tore through this book probably faster than I should have, because I just couldn't get enough of either Emily or Larkin and had to know how their stories would turn out. The emotional impact is strong and real. By the end, I felt such sorrow for their experiences, and yet hopeful and uplifted as well. And while Emily's story is set in the past, Larkin's story has an urgency to it, knowing that brave men and women are still facing the unbelievable struggles that come with serving in war settings and then coming back home afterward.

Don't miss this amazing book. This goes on my list of top books for 2019.

Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley. Full review at Bookshelf Fantasies.

[Athena (OneReadingNurse) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you so much to Sourcebooks Landmark via NetGalley for the e-ARC of Today We Go Home in exchange for an honest review! All opinions are my own!

*omitted description for NetGalley, see blog link for full review!*

So everyone that knows me knows that I am a huge Civil War reader, and this book was an obvious choice for me. I have read a few nonfiction books about women in the war, but nothing from a fictional perspective.

I honestly didn't care much for Larkin, although she made a lot of excellent points about women in the military and society's perceptions of them. I also felt like there was a statement about mental healthcare for veterans in the book, somewhere, as it seemed like a suicidal veteran shouldn't have been discharged from treatment as early as she was, and/or the program she was in was lacking effectiveness. The themes of suicidal ideations, suicide in general, grief, loss, and coming to terms with traumas were handled fairly lightly as Larkin found an interest, purpose, and then connection to Emily Wilson - the Union army soldier. I thought Emily's traumas were handled even lighter, I would have loved to know (as did Larkin) how Emily coped.

I loved Emily though, she was a spitfire. When she squared up and said she WAS a soldier, I just about put my phone down and clapped for her. I feel like the author got a lot of camp details right, but there wasn't a lot of historical information in the book itself. That said, there is a fantastic annex of resources in the book for additional reading that I highly recommend checking out.

One thing that threw me off was how the historical time period was presented in the ARC: some times Larkin would be reading the diary, then sometimes the chapter would be written as if the Civil War period was present day. Otherwise I did find it to be a really quick and interesting read

I rated it 3 stars because I really loved Emily's chapters, while feeling indifferent towards Larkin's. I would totally recommend for anyone interested in women in the military, historical feminism, historical fiction, and good fiction in general!

Thank you again so much to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the early read! The book released September 3rd so by all means check it out if it seems up your alley!

[Karren Sandercock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Larkin Bennett returns home to live with her grandmother after her second tour of Afghanistan, she’s suffering from PSTD, has flashbacks and turned to drinking to numb her feelings. Larkin’s best friend Sarah was killed in Afghanistan, and Larkin blames herself and she has to remove Sarah belongings from a storage facility. In one of the boxes she finds a diary written by one of Sarah's ancestors, a woman called Emily Wilson who dressed as a man and fought for the Union in the American Civil War.

When Larkin can’t sleep she reads Emily’s diary, it starts in 1861, when she and her brother Ben leave the family farm in Stampers Creek, and join the 9th Indiana Infantry. Emily cuts off her hair, changes her mannerisms, and passes a basic medical examination and signs up as private Jesse Wilson. Emily can already shoot, she learns to march and preform the military drills and finishes basic training. Ben becomes friendly with a fellow soldier Willie Smith, at first Emily’s concerned her brothers taken a shine to another man and she discovers Willie is a woman.

After her first battle, Emily keeps seeing the face of the young confederate soldiers she shot, and she can’t stop thinking about him all winter. In 1862, Ben, Emily and Willie are on the move, marching towards Tennessee and they will be fighting in the bloody battle of Shiloh. What happens during the conflict, leaves behind an unsolved mystery and Larkin is determined to solve it.

Larkin contacts Zach Faber, Sarah’s older brother, she goes to visit him, and together they try to discover Willie’s real name. Delving into achieves and searching the internet gives Larkin a purpose, she stops drinking, she starts to heal, and she can finally let her best friend rest in peace.

I received a copy of Today We Go Home by Kelli Estes from NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark in exchange for an honest review, I enjoyed reading the dual timeline story about three brave women soldiers, they had a lot in common, all suffered from PTSD and four stars from me.
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[♥ Sandi ❣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars Thanks to BookBrowse and Sourcebooks Landmark for a chance to read this book. Published September 3, 2019


I really enjoyed this book. I had not read Estes before, but I know she had a prior book, that I will now secure and read.

In alternating chapters this book bounced back and forth between a current day, just discharged, female combat soldier having served in Afghanistan, and a young woman from the 1850's who disguised herself as a man to fight in the Civil War. The current veteran, Larkin, found the diary of the Civil War veteran, Emily, and read of all the horrific events that Emily went through, while still trying to maintain her own life, riddled with PTSD. Both women suffered devastating losses but yet took different routes to tame the elusive monster in their head.

Great story detailing the effects of war on a female soldier - past and present. How the female soldier is treated and her expected role, from both her surrounding military personnel and the general public's perception. Including what the female soldier expects from herself, while enlisted, in time of war and after discharge. Differences were acknowledged between the two women - 1850 to current day - however many similarities also remained.

[Luce · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 STARS for this novel that centers on two women soldiers, one in present day and the other in the 1860s. It follows the paths of Larkin Bennett who is suffering from PTSD and severe survivor’s guilt after returning from Afghanistan and the other, Emily Wilson who in 1861, disguises herself as a man and joins the Union army to fight against the Confederates.

Larkin was given a medical discharge and on her way home to her grandmother’s in Washington state, she stops at the storage unit of her best friend and fellow soldier, Sarah. Sarah who died in Afghanistan and had bequeathed all her belongings to Larkin. In among the boxes, Larkin finds the diary of one of Sarah’s ancestors, Emily Wilson that Sarah had told Larkin had inspired her to join the military.

At first it was Larkin’s story of healing that interested me the most. I’ve been drawn to and have liked novels with main characters recovering from PTSD. But eventually it was Emily’s story that kept me reading about her life and hardships as a soldier while serving alongside her brother, Ben and their best friend, Willie.

Bonus – At the end of the book, the author includes many resources for further reading on the real women mentioned in this story and other featured subjects (i.e. women in the military).

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Charlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An eye-opener and an excellent read that I won on Goodreads.com. This is a story that will keep you interested all the way to the end. Two women and two different wars - years apart. What does a woman disguised as a man fighting during the Civil War have to do with a woman fighting in Afganistan? You'll find this interesting only if you read this book.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I find myself wanting to copy/past much of my review of Estes's debut novel:
"It's hard to write a review for a book when you know for a fact the author shops at the same Costco you do..."

"Eh, it's OK, I guess..."

"It's an easy read in the sense that the writing is very simple, not particularly spectacular, and not particularly insightful."

The overall concept of women in the military - one present day veteran struggling with PTSD, and one Civil War era woman disguising her self as a man to fight in the Union Army - are both decent concepts. However, I found the character development extremely lacking. Larkin, our modern woman, is nothing more than her PTSD and suicidal ideations, and I need more to a character than just trauma. Emily (Jesse), our Civil War solider, is more interesting, but she also felt too defined by just the deaths of the men in her family, and her desire for more autonomy in a male dominated society felt rushed and glossed over in the end.

I will say it did lead to a very interesting discussion at my book club. (I held my review until after the meeting, because sometimes listening to why other people like/dislike a story can sway my wavering opinion.)

One of the members of my group happens to be a clinical psychologist with the VA (I hope I'm getting that right!) and she said the depiction of Larkin's PTSD was incredibly accurate, so that's helpful for me to know (even if I didn't particularly care for the character as a whole). I also couldn't quite put into words why I felt the overall story felt "boring" to me, until another member mentioned the redundant nature of reading Emily's chapters, combined with a short retelling of Emily's story in the form of a diary entry in Larkin's chapters. For some reason I hadn't made the connection until she said it, but I think this repetitive storytelling probably subconsciously contributed to some of my feelings of annoyance while reading the book. Finally, unlike The Girl Who Wrote in Silk, this book didn't smack of white saviorism for the entire novel, which was making me feel better about the story, but then there is a small plot point at the end that kind of ruined my previously good feelings about how this wasn't about a book where a white woman saves the day.

In the end, I'd say Estes just doesn't write in a manner that I find compelling, and I've come to conclusion I am just not her intended audience. And if you ever find yourself in Woodinville, you should know two things:
1) DO NOT ever walk on Red-Wood Road. OMG! It is a fairly high speed road, with heavy traffic comprised of angry commuters and wine drunk tourists, no sidewalks, and no real shoulder.

2) Please eat a burger from someplace other than Red Robin. Go behind the theater to Teddy's and get a teri burger with peanut butter and bacon (it's an off menu option), or go to Tipsy Cow and enjoy a boozy milkshake.

[Donna Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected to love this book, and I wanted it to be great. The premise is terrific: Larkin, a wounded warrior home after falling apart while on tour in Afghanistan, finds the diary of Emily, a woman that fought in the American Civil War (albeit in drag.) It’s a cool idea, and between the feminist moxie and my enthusiasm for local writers, I was ready to be wowed. It didn’t work out that way, but my thanks still go to Net Galley and Sourcebooks Landmark for the review copy.

The contemporary cmponent is the part I found strongest and most appealing. I haven’t seen a lot of novels featuring women in uniform (or freshly out of one,) whether in the Middle East or elsewhere, and the pain that Lark carries for her best friend, Sarah, is visceral and in places, haunting. Sarah served with Lark and died in an ambush that Lark believes she could have prevented. Lark sees her die, and then has flashbacks and nightmares that make my gut roil. Lark’s mama is dreadful, and I am heartily weary of seeing mothers take it on the chin in fiction, but I like the relationship between Lark and her grandmother and the way it is developed.

I had hopes for the second thread, the one about Emily fighting alongside her brother in the Civil War, but this part is unfortunately plagued by historical revisionism and too much convenient coincidence. For a woman to be as forward-thinking as the politically correct Emily—and this is the first time I have ever used this term in a negative way, leaning much farther to the left than your average American—would have been very unusual indeed, and for Emily to have slipped beneath the social radar in other regards would have been nearly impossible. Emily thinks at one point that her brother David is gay, for example, but she worries only for his safety, because she herself is sure that gay people are just made that way by God. And while this is a lovely sentiment, a researcher could turn under every historical rock and go through every collection of Civil War diaries and letters, and she would probably not find this sentiment in any of them. And in another case, Emily is sympathetic toward a runaway slave, not only in the sense that slavery is wrong or that the runaway is toast if his pursuers find him; she views him as her social equal. Aside from the late and admirable John Brown, and possibly his sons, it would be a hard thing indeed to find such a Caucasian person in the early 1860s, North or South. Many that fought against slavery assumed that former slaves would be deported to Africa; nearly nobody is on record during that period suggesting that Black folks were equal to whites, or that they could become friends and neighbors on equal footing.

I imagined Ta-Nehisi Coates reading this novel and howling with laughter at its naiveté.

To round it out, Emily virtually trips over another woman-disguised-as-a-male soldier, and given the vast numbers of men fighting in the Civil War, even the most generous estimate of women that served covertly makes this unlikely enough to be ludicrous.

I am not sure whether the pacing of the novel is also slow, apart from these inaccuracies and inconsistencies, or whether it was slowed by them, that sad moment akin to one in which Toto has pulled the curtain aside and revealed that Great and Powerful Oz is actually just a little dumpy bald guy talking into a microphone. All I know is that by the thirty percent mark, I was forcing myself to continue reading because I had a review copy and an obligation. I actually like having one galley with a sedate pace that I can read before I turn out the light, but my frustration with the issues noted above prevented me from reading it and then dropping off into peaceful slumber. At the sixty percent mark, I let myself off the hook. I took a quick look at the denouement to check for mitigating developments at the end, and then closed the book.

Estes is a talented writer, but I believe she has tried to do too much here. A simpler novel focusing exclusively on Lark would likely have been stronger. However, she is a writer to watch, and I believe she will do fine work in the future.

This book is for sale now.

[KC · Rating 3 out of 5]

Former military officer Larkin Bennett is back home in Washington, desperately trying to overcome the loss of her best friend Sarah. While struggling to recover from severe PTSD, she stumbles upon an old family diary of Sarah's dating back to the Civil War. What Larkin unearths within the pages is quite possibly what saves her life. Readers are presented with an in-depth look at the effects of war; from depression to survivors guilt, nightmares to addiction. Kelli Estes brilliantly honors, respects and defends our female soldiers. This will make a wonderful book club selection.

[Emi Yoshida · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intersecting stories about female war veterans: present-day Larkin Bennett copes with PTSD, grief and guilt over the death of her best friend Sarah, as well as her own dishonorable discharge in Afghanistan while reading the Civil War journal kept by an Emily Wilson who enlisted in Indiana's 9th Infantry by posing as a male Union soldier.

I loved reading author Kelli Estes's true voice in her Afterward, with her passionate respect, honor and defense of all women who serve in the military. I learned a lot in this book about soldier's heart, a condition which was also referred to as melancholia or even insanity back in the 1800's; and about what today is classified as Military Sexual Trauma. Larkin and Emily's dialog might not ring quite so true, but that didn't slow down the action-packed story arc; the diary worked perfectly as epistolary device along with the research Larkin did online on women serving in disguise in the Civil War.

[Kasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading the description on the covers I was thinking that this book is right up my alley. It promises good psychological drama (struggling with PTSD) and interesting historical fact that I've never heard of before (women disguised as man fighting in the Civil War). Sadly, it didn't live up to my expectations.

Emily Wilson is living in the XIX century but her political correctness is so overdone that she looses all credibility as a historical character. When she starts to pretend she is a man she can't get enough of the "freedom" that it gave to her which I find pretty ironical since she joined the army, so technically her life was not fully hers. There is no reflection about different types of responsibilities for men and women. As long as you can speak up your mind, swear, rent a room and die on the battlefield - men life is superior.

When it comes to Larkin Benett - ex-solider suffering from PTSD - it gets a bit better. She is struggling with her guilt and desperately searching for a relief. She goes back and forth trying to find her way out of this terrible psychological state. This part, although not as exciting as descriptions of Emily life, was in my opinion more consistent.

Obviously, when it comes to the drama involving women there is no way to escape feminism. The one in this book is of this weird pseudo-feminism kind (the one that says "equal rights for all sexes" and "what do you mean you don't want a husband?" in the same breath). Not my favorite kind.

Overall it was a decent read. Maybe a bit too focused on stressing on the fact that men life it's better and easier (because you know, fighting on a war is so much more fun than cooking a dinner) to be to my liking but I guess it's pleasant enough to appeal to majority of the readers.

[Carolyn McBride · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was instantly grabbed by the cover of this book. The premise had me curious...between the two, I just had to read it. I'm so glad that I was able to read an ARC of this book, so thanks go to NetGalley, the publisher and the author.

The main plot of this story was pretty gripping in itself, I couldn't turn away from Larkin's struggle to heal. But then the secondary plot reeled me in too, and before I knew it, I'd read this in two sittings.
Damn real life for interrupting my reading time!
The characters are compelling, even the secondary ones. The places felt so real I could have spit sand and tasted the wine. I wanted to hold Larkin's hand and tell her that she would eventually heal.

The secondary plot was real too, and very well-written. Made even more captivating by the fact that there were numerous women that did just what Em and Willie did. I really admired the way the secondary plot was so integral to the primary.
The book is a masterpiece, and one I'm sure my partner is tired of hearing me gush about. But this book deserves every ounce of praise.
It's just that good!

[Claudia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is another historical fiction with two separate stories from two separate times, but parallel and intertwining. Both protagonists are military women. The story addresses the fascinating history of women posing as men to fight in the Civil War, their bravery along side fellow soldiers and their challenges and disparate treatment once discovered, as well as a number of related and important issues, including those still relevant today.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from Edelweiss. It alternates points of view between a current Afghanistan female war veteran and a woman disguised as a man who fought in the Civil War. It is a unique concept which I enjoyed. It highlights the bias that women veterans face even today when they serve their country.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having recently finished “Today We Go Home” by Kelli Estes, I am happy to have had the chance for the preview; thank you NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark!

Using the discovery of a civil war diary as the bridge between; this was a well done story connecting the life of a woman fighting as a "male" soldier in the Civil War, and an injured and discharged soldier returning home from Afghanistan. Even though the pain and suffering were years apart, their stories and the trauma of war was devastating no matter what time period they lived in. The PTSD scenes were heart-breaking, whether they were happening to Jesse in 1862, or Larkin in the present day. No soldier should ever suffer in silence, yet so many do. The choice to end the story at Shiloh National History Park was the perfect place to close the pages of this brave journey.

Ms. Estes included many resources and shared her thoughts at the end of this book. I enjoyed the information after the story equally.

[Hannah Beth (Hannah's Book Cafe) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Truthfully, I just didn't care for the tone of this book. It kind of just seemed like a bunch of feminist propaganda. When I say that I mean, the women in both timelines complain that men don't see them as doing anything important or that they can be strong and do "important things", as if they also agree that the things that women do are not also important. So they have to go and prove to the men that "they are strong", and "work just as hard as a man" and also not be "just a housewife". It very much seems like it was written with a modern feel, which it totally was.

I truthfully wanted to like it. The historic timeline was very interesting at times. But even that had its issues. In the present day timeline, I truthfully just did not care for Larkin. Do military women really just flip out over being asked if one of their family members is in the service instead of them?

In the process of trying to prove women are equal to men, they then tear down other women. Sorry, but I don't need to read more of that.

[Moony (Captain Mischief) MeowPoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like it more than i did.
it was okay, but a bit too long for me.
It was okay, and interesting. But a little boring too.

I got this eARC from Netgalley

[Jill Miclean · Rating 2 out of 5]

Based on the premise of this book, I was sure I'd love it. Civil War history is one of my favorite genres and I read a lot on the subject - both HF & NF. I was also looking forward to a modern story about a women soldier. However, the Civil War portion turned out to be a take on revisionist history and the modern story was hard to connect with.

Lovers of Civil War history are going to have a hard time with Emily's modern views. This should have been a time travel novel and then maybe some of Emily's idea's and opinions would have made sense and not stuck out like a sore thumb. But Emily's easy, no questions asked, acceptance of her brother possibly being gay, her views on slavery and her willingness to discuss how the civil war started - was it states rights or slavery? - with her fellow soldiers was completely out of historical context. Using the term African American, befriending a prostitute and lastly, adopting three orphans (one of them black) at the age of 20 with little money and raising them as her children, all while being a single mother are all lovely sentiments, however, it was just too much for this amateur historian to take with out much eye rolling!

The modern day Larkin isn't much better. I wanted to like her but I could never connect with her. While I feel her PTSD was real and accurately portrayed, I just couldn't find any reason to gain my sympathy for her. And when she utters this line in comparing the Civil War era to current times: "It really pissed Larkin off that her country had barely evolved in all those years." It sealed my dislike of her and the author's take on history. We haven't evolved? Really? I think I could write an entire thesis on how our country and women's rights have evolved in 150 years but I guess it's all perspective.

Overall, there was tons of potential but the lack of character depth and the blatant feminism bent both women had was too "in your face" for my taste - especially in a historical novel.

[CindySR · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was a lot of action in this story and it rolled along nicely, easy to read. Maybe a bit too packed with everything happening because I had a little trouble feeling the emotions of the characters in the writing. I should have felt more compassion for the two women and I just didn't. Still very interesting and even educational. The ending was kind of dumb, but the epilogue was cool with short blurbs about the real life civil war women soldiers.

[Theresa Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I’ve read there were hundreds of women who fought in that war, most of them disguising themselves as men, although it is impossible to know exact numbers since those known were either women who were discovered or outed themselves in newspaper articles or memoirs written after the war. The rest kept their secret hidden or were killed in battle without being discovered. Some bodies have been exhumed and found to be women.”

You know how every so often you can come across a book and it just ticks every one of those boxes for you? Today We Go Home is one of those books for me. A dual narrative set in both the present day and during the American Civil War, I found both eras and storylines equally as compelling and appreciated the way the author linked these two centuries apart women.

“I wonder, when I die, will I see the face of the person who kills me and feel only pain and hatred toward him? Or will I see the face of God as his welcoming arms surround me and feel nothing but his love, as Aunt Harriet says happens in Heaven? Does God welcome those who have taken the lives of others? I took a man’s life today. Possibly more than one, but one I know for certain because we were face-to-face and if I hadn’t killed him first, I would not be here writing these words. He was young. He was a person with a family waiting at home. When I sleep, he is there. Taunting me, laughing at me, begging me to spare him. Blood, screams, terror, all the horrors of battle fill my dreams and make me wake often. I feel covered by that man’s blood. I love most things about being a soldier, but I despise the killing.”

This novel pays homage to the military service of American women across the centuries. It’s a novel that doesn’t sugar coat the immense sacrifice of both women and men who have given parts of or their entire lives to the US military. It digs deep into PTSD and veteran suicide. I really appreciated the honesty of this novel as well as the realistic portrayal of what being a woman in the military is like. I particularly liked how the author shed some light on lesser known issues, such as the invisibility of women’s service.

“Even now, over a hundred and fifty years later, female veterans faced many of the same challenges that Emily did: being seen as inferior because of her gender, not being able to find work after being discharged from the military, earning less than men, becoming homeless.”

I am by no means in favour of war, but I certainly am pro respect the military and what they’re shouldering for the rest of us. Anti-war sentiment should never be extended to those who are laying their lives on the line. Their sacrifice goes beyond a tour of duty. This novel is an outstanding reflection of this and reiterates the need for understanding, compassion, and greater resources for assisting military personnel during and after service. Veterans in America have a suicide rate 50 percent higher than those who did not serve in the military; in raw terms, this equates to 22 veteran suicides per day. That is beyond shocking.

“Soldiers got home and realized they’d changed, yet their loved ones expected them to be the same. As if facing mortality on a daily basis was normal. As if watching friends die was normal. As if dedicating your life to your country and that service changing who you are at your very core was normal.”

The civil war history woven into this story made for compelling reading. Emily was a character I found much to admire about. Her courage and conviction, her yearning to be free – all entirely relatable. There are some really great themes explored throughout this novel. Today We Go Home is top shelf fiction that I don’t hesitate to recommend.

Thanks is extended to Sourcebooks Landmark via NetGalley for providing me with a copy of Today We Go Home for review.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have wanted to read this book since I first saw the cover in Book Page. I was thwarted in that by a move, getting set up with a new library and then waiting for said library to acquire the book. It was well worth the wait.
The book tells the story of Larkin Bennett, a present day veteran who is suffering from PTSD after losing her best friend in Afghanistan, and Emily Wilson, a woman who disguises herself as a man and enlists in the Union Army in 1861. Emily is the ancestor of Sarah, Larkin's best friend who Larkin feels would be alive still if Larkin had done things differently in Afghanistan. Emily left behind a diary that told of her Army experiences and inspired Sarah to join the military. Sarah left the diary and all of her belongings to Larkin.
The author did not have any experience with the military, but I appreciated her efforts with this book. Be sure to read the note from the author and the information about the real women featured in this book. She also includes some books that she used to research this book.
Two quotes from the author's notes. "Our female Veterans deserve the respect of being recognized by their country and honored for their service, the same as men." "And please, whatever you do, when you see a woman wearing military logos or driving around with a veteran bumper sticker, do not, in any instance, assume it was her husband who served and not her. Thank her for her service. See her. Hear her. Thank her."

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

For me, this was 2.5 stars, but frankly, I'm not sure I'm qualified to judge this book, since I know so little of the military, and even less about women in the military. I can only say that I love history, but this book did not grip my interest in the way that most historical fiction does. I do admire the author's desire to tell a soldier's story from a female combatant's viewpoint -- I'm sure that hasn't often been done. So, I remain ambivalent re this book; perhaps you should just read it if the premise appeals to you and make your own decision

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is galvanizing. It has stirred my interest in women in the military. Here the civil war and Afghanistan are the focus.

Present day Afghanistan vet Larkin who has PTSD, reads the diary of Civil War vet Emily. Reading the words of Emily help Larkin faces her own demons.

There is repeated reference to suicide which is always sobering and may be a trigger for some.

My 5 stars realize there are flaws in the text, but not glaring enough to downgrade the rating.

[Christie Sinclair · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book! It has two main characters: Emily a woman who fights in the Civil War and Larkin, a modern soldier who has fought in Afghanistan. Both deal with prejudice against women serving in the military and PTSD. I got a little irritated with the women’s bad dreams and feelings of guilt, but then I thought how long it must take to deal with PTSD. Probably lots longer than a couple of chapters!!

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, couldn't put it down... I listened to an audio version and the readers were excellent. The pause between chapters so helpful to allow the listener time to recognize the scene is changing.

I've read very little set during Civil War times and that aspect of this book made me really think about that period of history.

I love how the author interwove the modern and the historical stories, it was beautifully done. I'm recommending this to all of my friends and particularly the women I know who have served in the military.

[Andria Potter · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 🌟 rounded up.

Prepare for review and box of tissues.

Further review:

This tells the story of Emily turned Jesse Wilson, a young woman donning man’s clothing and joining her brother in the war to save her family after her Pa and oldest brother are killed by senech rebels. A girl disguising herself as a man is one of my favorites tropes in fiction, and so I jumped at the chance to read this book. It’s a wonderful story; it alternates between her story and another woman’s tale during the present day, a woman named Linda who lost her sister Sarah to a war as well. Linda finds the diary that inspired Sarah into becoming a soldier, and dives into Emily/Jesse’s tale, and soon is captivated over her story. She reads the story to get over the loss of her sister, she reads the story to see what happened with Emily, and she reads the story because she has rarely heard of a woman becoming a man to join a war back in the civil war era.

This was a beautiful, yet long tale-it took me four days to read through, and admittedly I liked Emily/Jesse’s chapters better as they were far more interesting to me, but overall there were quite a few things I liked about both women characters. I should note warnings for PTSD, typhoid/detailed sick scenes in hospitals, civil war battle scenes, attempted suicide, and sexist assholes scattered throughout the story. There’s a mindfield of triggers scattered throughout for anyone whose ever been involved in war, or has a sibling/relative that was in the war, so take caution in reading this book, please.

But it is an important book, as the story shows that women aren’t just willing to be shoved aside, and treated as simple creatures. They’re willing to stand up for what they believe in is right, and won’t take no for an answer. They can fight with guns, crawl through mud just as well as a man can, and I admire these women in this book, because they are badasses.

My one complaint is the dual character pov, alternating between past and present. But the author handled that so well, that it’s a minor complaint, so. I’m giving this book a 4.5/5 stars, and rounding it up to a solid 5 because it’s well deserving of it. I plan on buying a copy to add a physical copy to my shelves here at home, it’s that lovely of a story. There are several sad scenes scattered throughout, so be prepared for a box of tissues when reading this book. Trust me, you’ll need them if your heart isn’t made of stone.

(Review also posted on my blog.)

[Sandra The Old Woman in a Van · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this book, despite some incredulity over some of the substories. I read The Girl Who Wrote in Silk and liked it as well, but Today We Go Home was unique. The story was original, juxtaposing a modern woman veteran and a woman disguising herself as a man to serve in the Civil War. Women soldiers are honored and Today We Go Home goes deep into PTSD as we know it from both wars. I realized while reading the book that it is one of the only, maybe the only? Civil War, or any war themed book authored by a woman that describes battle scenes in detail. I am sure there must be some, but I not aware. This novel kept me engaged up to the very end.

I am not sure I would have found this book if Kelli Estes had not come to my local Indi book store (Run For Cover) for an author talk. I snagged it right away and now it is the chosen book for two upcoming book clubs. I am looking forward to the discussion. I recommend this novel for book clubs. It has questions in the back and there are multiple topics for discussion brought to light by the book.

The one feature that bothered me about this book (and discussed at one of my book clubs) was Emily’s broad political correctness based on today’s standards. That type of cultural liberty always frustrates me in historical fiction. Emily was a combined feminist, anti-racist, pro LGBTQ heroine in an age when none of these terms even existed. That pushed the believability. I don’t want to give away any details soI will leave it there.

[Terri M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Emotionally this book is surface level. I wasn't able to identify with any of the characters and it seems as though things were just happening to them. The connection between the past and present timeline was weak. I wish we could have gotten to know Emily through Sarah's eyes as she has more of connection with her than Larkin.

I also don't think it dived far enough into the realities of someone suffering from PTSD (I live with someone who served in the first Gulf War and suffers from it).

Fans of this novel may want to check out I Shall Be Near to You.

I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.