Lizzie hopes that Easter will be different from other holidays, but there's a little stuffed Easter bunny with a strange gleam in its eye Lizzie knows is going to make trouble.
Okay, yes, I did in fact just read this book last week, and yes, I am in fact 30 years old.
In the midst of my "clean out all these old books you're never going to read" project I stumbled across this title, one of a small number of children's books that survived The Great Children's Book Purge of 2006. So I don't know, on a whim I thought, "Well I don't remember much about this, but why not take an hour to read it and figure out why I've kept it all these years?"
Because it's hilarious, that's why. I suddenly understand why this book made it into my collection in the first place, and why it has made the cut all these years.
Don't get me wrong, the book is stupid. There isn't really a plot, and the ending makes no sense, but damn if the 10 year old girl narrating this is not a clone of me at that age.
"You know I wanted to hug [my mom], but I didn't. I wonder why? I almost hate growing up. Half the time I do things I don't want to do and the other half I don't do things that I really want to do. Somebody figure it out, please."
"I'm dying, I finally thought, and I'll have to wear the dress that is too tight in the arms for my funeral. I remembered that I forgot to have my mother iron it. I figured she'd be too upset that I was dead to iron it so I would be buried in a dress that was wrinkled and too tight in the arms."
"I was not only on the moon [hey, I warned you the plot made no sense], but I was on the moon without a spacecuit, breathing like there was no tomorrow, which, at that point, there probably wasn't."
"I wanted to say, 'Don't smile at me. This has disaster written all over it.'"
I was ALL ABOUT exactly this kind of stupid, sarcastic humor in the 4th grade, and apparently still am, because all of those lines literally made me laugh out loud.
Also, I realized that this is what introduced me to the story of Demeter and Persephone, which means this is the book that inspired my pre-adolescent fascination with Greek mythology and the sixth grade English class final theatrical project I wrote after convincing my groupmates to let me adapt that myth.
Look, everyone has precious, treasured books from their childhood that spoke to them intimately, inspired their love of reading, drove them to new interests and passions at a young age, but that might not hold up well with age. For most people, that means Narnia. For me, apparently, it means The Easter Bunny that Ate my Sister.
Like, I cannot for the life of me figure out the structure. 85% of the book is a lot of lead-up, nonsensical backstory, meandering chapters that don't relate to the book at all, and church scenes (so much religion inserted into this one.) Then a chapter of the actual thing in question occurring, with the quickest ending possible.
I am not even sure where to begin with the retelling of this story. The main character in this book is a girl named Lizzie, seems like the entire series is based around her and her family, so we don't get much background on her since this book has a later release date than the rest.
We do learn however, that Lizzie is afraid of dying. Like, she has a morbid mind, this direct quote will sum it up perfectly for you. Again, this is a book written for children; "I was suddenly afraid of everything going on in the world. I was afraid of being abducted, killed mutilated, run over by a drunk driver, and anything including the sun burning out, a crazy person coming into our school and shooting all of the kids, someone putting poison in all of the breakfast cereal, or the hole in the ozone getting big enough so that the whole world burns up." So, you can see I am not exaggerating this girl is troubled. At one point in the book she mentions something about hoping someone doesn't have an Uzi on them. I don't know, the 90's told it how it was a I guess.
Anyway, this book is all over the place. It starts with Lizzie randomly getting paired-up with another girl in her class, for some reason they are the only two to be in a group. I guess the real reason for this is to teach young readers the Greek mythology behind Persephone. For those of you who are not up on your random Greek mythology, Persephone, was the daughter of Zeus. She is the Greek goddess of spring, vegetation, and queen of the underworld, pretty much all because she went to the underworld and at pomegranate seeds. She was damned to the underwood and became the wife of Hades. She also created the seasons. But super random start to this book.
Lizzie starts seeing bunnies all over the place, not like Hugh Hefner’s bunnies, real ones. Then, one night even she wakes up and her front yard is so full of white bunnies it looks like snow, then a werewolf shows up, and she is just like this is nuts. She writes herself a note so she knows it's not a dream. But then like after the next morning when she wakes up and see the note and knows it wasn't a dream, we never hear about it again. So, I guess we didn't have much of story to begin with here, that's why we have so many weird almost useless scenes in this book.
Finally, we get the story moving. Her mom takes her and her little brother Booker, aka Booger, to the mall because Lizzie needs a new Easter Sunday dress. We get this weird car ride scene where her and her mother fight and her mom is like, I don't know if I can make it through this phase you are going though, and goes on about how much she doesn't like Lizzie anymore. Super strange. When they get to the mall a person in an Easter Bunny costume gives Lizzie a stuffed bunny and dips. Lizzie doesn't really want it so she gives it to Booger, who leaves it all over the mall, but still somehow shows back up. At one point, Lizzie purposely leaves the stuffed bunny in a changing room, and when they get back to the car it is just sitting there, watching, waiting.
The bunny kind of haunts her, it grows in size, and moves around the house, at one point I think it does a flip up the stairs, this was later in the book and I was quickly loosing interest so not 100 percent sure if that happened or I made it up. Anyway, on Friday of that week their teacher is planning to be out so they are going to have a substitute teacher. Friday comes and there is a man in a black top hat, that says he's there to teach, but Lizzie recognizes, thankfully she spells it out for people who haven't suffered, I mean read though the other books in the series. Turns out, this man is always around right before something bad happens to her family. His name is Mr. Ralph. Mr. Ralph does some magic tricks, pulls mad bunnies out of his top hat, talks about rabbit holes, until the real substitute teacher shows up and Mr. Ralph is magically gone. He did leave a message for Lizzie, that she needs to stop living in fear, she must choose, fear or love.
Later that night Lizzies parents leave her and Booger home alone. Lizzie locks herself in her room for she has a new fear, the family received a letter in the mail saying a convicted felon had moved into their community. I don't think that's a thing unless they are sex offenders. Any who, she watches from her window as he brother runs out into the woods behind their house. She doesn't want to but knows she needs to chase after him, so she does. She sees a large stuffed bunny in the woods and runs away from it. But somehow, she runs right into the chest of the stuffed bunny, which basically sucks her into it, and then she is sucked into a rabbit hole. Good thing Mr. Ralph had explained what a rabbit hole was.
Lizzie ends up in a room with a huge table full of all of her favorite foods. She is about to start eating it when she remembers the Greek mythology lesson we got at the start of the book and doesn't touch it. She doesn't want to be stuck in this underworld forever. Smart. She finds a door that leads her to the surface of the moon.
Yes, the moon.
Lizzie can't find her way back into the room, as she watches the world get swallowed by a dark cloud, and the cloud is coming for the moon next. She still can't find the door, but randomly she thinks about choosing between fear or love. She chooses love and her brothers arm shoots out of a hole and pulls he off the moons surface as the dark cloud comes for her. She is pulled back through the rabbit hole, and back to reality which is that she is just laying in the dirt in the woods behind her house. She decides that she is no longer going to be scared. The end.
I always like to try to find some good in the stories I read, this one was hard, but I did learn that the Greek story about Persephone, is heavily tied to Easter and that is fun. Greek mythology is super interesting to me, so diving down that rabbit hole, see what I did there, after finishing this book was worth reading this otherwise, tedious book. Also, the books title should have been The Easter Bunny That Ate Me , but honestly, who cares, lol. I have the rest of the books in this series but I am not sure if I will be reading them or not. I will say, if I do read them, I will plan on blogging them for you to enjoy.
So I found myself in an odd place in trying to read the saga of the holiday object vore series. The next one is Easter and the final one is Valentine's Day. That's not the order the days go in so when do I read them? I wanted to have them done sooner than later so during this in April and waiting til next year for the last one wasn't the best choice.
Thus, I flipped them. I'm doing this for V-Day week and around Easter we'll finish the series. Sound good? Eh, it works for me. Anyway, this series started rough and has gotten a bit better. Read my previous reviews for the details as I don't wanna myself too much. The last couple had major problems but just barley got to be passable.
Sadly, this brings us back to being weak. The setup is...well there isn't much of one. It's Easter ans the family is doing a bunch of stuff for it. Going to church, making decorations and such, and things like that. While life is going on, Lizzie starts seeing rabbits everywhere. Where is this going? It goes...somewhere./
First off, Lizzie is mixed again. As always, she has some charming funny bits here and there/ But more so than the others, she's says some bratty and judgemental things. Some are funny but she's more annoying than the last couple, mostly to Booker. There is one moment with mom that was nice but despite a bit with Booker, their thing doesn't change too much.
The main problem here is that this is the least cohesive one and that's saying something. Like the others, we spend too much time on life but now we have to wait over 100 pages for things to get weird. Now, we do have hints before that with the odd rabbit stuff going on but it's just these weird bits between all the nothing.
There's a greek myth info dump again but this time it's more just referenced later on rater than being important. Ralph comes back in an odd context and he doesn't do much beyond foreshadowing how she gets out of this...sort of? This gets Alice in Wonderland-y but they don't explain at all why anything happens. Why do rabbits appear and why does this hole stuff go down later on? No idea. Even the others tried a bit harder to have slight logic.
There's some charm in some of slice of life stuff. I do like that church is involved and they do reference the themes of Easter and Jesus and all that without being too preachy. An interesting aspect is Lizzie being afraid of death. Specifically, she becomes afraid of random bad things happening to her.
It's a neat theme to explore, although it isn't brought on by anything, she just starts having these for no real reason. There are bits where she turns on the news and isn['t all bad news, almost approaching commentary that doesn't go anywhere. She learns to stop these fears but it's random. Something happens in the weird black hole stuff that leads to her stopping this but it's random. She learns the lesson because she has to, it's weird and hard to explain but it's forced.
And lastly, the title makes no sense. This is still first person from Lizzie's POV so who is "My sister" here? Lizzie gets ...well not eaten so another lie but it's not Booker's pov so it's more like The Easter Bunny That ate Me.
So yeah, a weak one. Not too bad as it has some charm and decent ideas but it feels like they just kind of gave up. It feels like a repeat of what we had before but it makes the problem worse for less cohesion. It's a shame the improvement stopped but ah well. It's a weird one and not in the best ways. It has its moments but I'd skip this one.
I'm glad we only have one more. Maybe the day of love will bring us back to decent-ness, we'll see. Oh and there's a Goosebumps ad at the back of this because of course there is.
That's about it. We're slowing down on the reads now but March may be busier, we'll see. Don't know what is next, likely some random stuff. See ya then.
My favorite part was when Lizzie was back at home again and was fine and felt better My least favorite part was when Lizzie was being tricked and going crazy for some unexplained reason. My favorite charters was Booker because he tried to help his sister even though he had no idea of what was going on and thought she was crazy. My least favorite character was the magician man that pretended he was the substitute teacher, bit wasn't, and have Lizzie the stuffed Bunny and have her the idea that she was crazy.