Hell Yeah Self-Care!: A Trauma-Informed Workbook

by Alex Iantaffi, Meg-John Barker

Take a moment to pause... Breathe... And ask yourself, what does self-care mean to you?

Times are very tough-in a world that pushes us to go faster, be the best, and get ahead of others, we often forget to focus on ourselves, leaving us with anxiety, anger, burnout, stress, and trauma. In this creative workbook and journal leading mental health pioneers, Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker, provide you with the tools to begin your self-care journey and develop sustainable self-care routines and rituals that work for you.

Featuring a diverse range of experiential exercises, activities, and opportunities for reflection, while drawing upon a range of practices and approaches including systemic and existential therapies, Buddhist mindfulness, Pagan ritual, trauma-informed practice, intersectional feminism and more. This book explores self-care in all its forms and covers somatic self-care, plural selves, emotions and feelings, relationships, and care for others.

Empowering, illuminating and written with authenticity and honesty throughout-this is a manual for everyone and will help you look after yourself on your path towards happiness and wellbeing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Health

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2021

Reviews

[Kristina Clement · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alex and MJ raise so many thought provoking questions in the book and really made me stop and think about how I experience feelings. If you take some time to really do the reflections they suggest, you can get a great deal out of this book.

[Joanne Mango · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed and benefited from this hugely insightful and reflective book. I love the way Meg-John and Alex write with such integrity and openness as they bring an earnest (though not too intense) approach to thinking about self care from many different perspectives, whilst remaining true to their values throughout in the repeated reminders to slow down, to read past if something doesn't resonate, to think of our needs with kindness and put in place what we need for our selves (body and mind) to be well. The book was different from what I expected as I thought there would be more emphasis on the individual but whereas there are some genuinely helpful and creative reflections and invitations to think or to plan self caring activities these are always within the context of understanding that we do not exist in isolation and that we, and our capacity to do what we need for ourselves and our wellbeing, sits within many systems, some of which are hostile to that. There is also a socially aware discussion on the necessity for caring for our own wellbeing in relation to our wellness to show up for others in our activism and relationships.

I thought the part of the book reflecting on Audre Lorde's well known affirmation about self care being a political act and therefore radical (writing as a black lesbian woman) was both respectful to her specific context whilst also being provocative as it encouraged us to value the parts of ourselves that society marginalises or doesn't see as useful. Likewise there is also a prompt to think about the ways in which oppressive systems also may privilege us and what we may do in response to that. I valued the critique of an unequal society in service to the needs of capitalist consumerism and accumulation at the expense of others in the restriction of basic human needs like shelter and other survival needs, as well as impacts on self care and capacity to rest! Throughout we are encouraged to think of ourselves, the messages we receive and experiences we have in relation to the systems we are part of such as family and community systems and global ones, and the impact this has on our sense of self and the ways in which self care is encouraged and inhibited. I loved that this circle was then completed in the section about consensual and intentional relationships by reflecting on how we in turn encourage or inhibit others' self care through our modelling, the messages and assumptions and expectations we may put on others. I especially liked the counter cultural challenge to allow and respect the other's need to prioritise self/ autonomy which may at times mean disappointment such as cancelling or saying no; that felt liberatory!

Alex and Meg-John also challenged the dominant view of self in modern British culture (which I write from) as individual. As they set out, the very definition of self can only be a connected or interdependent one. This seemed so valuable to me as we think about the need for community building and working towards an alternative way of being with healthier, caring societies made of healthier individuals who have the autonomy and encouragement to self care, and also gives hope for the radical need for change in our wider societal systems. The exercises throughout were helpful and growthful and I do believe have had a positive influence on me in both valuing myself and others and our interdependence, and our need to set limits and act in a way that honours our autonomy (self consent!) as we work towards a society within which all collective wellbeing and individual human dignity is valued.