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You Will Get Through This Night
There’s a moment at the end of every day, where the world falls away and you are left alone with your thoughts. A reckoning, when the things you have been pushing to the background, come forward and demand your attention.
Written by Daniel Howell, in conjunction with a qualified psychologist, in an entertaining and personal way from the perspective of someone who has been through it all—this no-nonsense book gives you the tools to understand your mind so you can be in control and really live. Split into three chapters for each stage of the journey:
This Night - how to get through your toughest moments and be prepared to face anything.
Tomorrow - small steps to change your thoughts and actions with a big impact on your life.
The Days After - help to look after yourself in the long term and not just survive, but thrive.
You will laugh and learn—but most of all, this book will assure you that even in your darkest times, there is always hope.
You will get through this night.
Written by Daniel Howell, in conjunction with a qualified psychologist, in an entertaining and personal way from the perspective of someone who has been through it all—this no-nonsense book gives you the tools to understand your mind so you can be in control and really live. Split into three chapters for each stage of the journey:
This Night - how to get through your toughest moments and be prepared to face anything.
Tomorrow - small steps to change your thoughts and actions with a big impact on your life.
The Days After - help to look after yourself in the long term and not just survive, but thrive.
You will laugh and learn—but most of all, this book will assure you that even in your darkest times, there is always hope.
You will get through this night.
7 pages, Audible Audio
First published May 18, 2021
2421 people are currently reading
12007 people want to read
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September 25, 2020for you, Dan, I will pick up my first nonfiction book after more than 5 years
May 22, 2021
.Note: This review may spoil some of the book’s contents. The page numbers referenced are for the U.S. 1st Edition Hardcover.
So... this review is pretty much a book in itself. Before I start, I want to mention I have been following Dan's online presence fairly consistently since 2017, but I am reviewing this book objectively as a person who reads books (rather than a fan looking to provide unconditional support). Even though I was rather pessimistic about the idea of a Youtuber mental health book, I made sure to go in with a completely open mind.
Because it's clear he wishes for this to be regarded as a separate, more serious, project from his online career, I won't be treating Dan’s book as a "Youtuber book". Rather, I will compliment and criticize it as I would any regular text.
My first comment is a negative one about the first page titled "KEEP SAFE" which gave a police station as an example of a safe place to go if you are experiencing a serious mental health crisis. I think this is not only poor advice, but wildly tone-deaf to write when we are witnessing video footage each and every day proving that this is not the case for most people. Too many people who turned to the police during their lowest points are now dead. It's not dramatic or stretching to say that citing police stations as safe places for people experiencing a crisis could be life-ending advice being that police in most countries have little to no training in handling mental health crises, yet extensive training in combat.
The book is littered with (IN MY OPINION!) outdated attempts at relatability, but amongst the cheugy millennial humor there are sentiments, anecdotes, and examples for the mh activities that I found funny. Is it immature to point and laugh at a 13 year old accidentally touching a boob? Probably yeah, but it keeps you engaged! I think Dan succeeded in his effort to involve his core demographic in a book that offers practical mental health advice.
"I know unlimited internet is necessary for my lifestyle, but I reserve the right to complain about how expensive it is." I don't think this attempt at financial relatability was needed. Two world tours, tens of thousands of pieces of merch and books sold, a big custom-built house in London... I'm sure you can afford your internet cost. It's a personal pet peeve of mine to see rich or upper-middle class influencers complain about money in an attempt to be relatable to the working class. Like, while I'm sure you came from a lower-middle class family, you're well off now or at least much better off than at least 95% of people in the world.
I found Part 2 “TOMORROW” very useful, as I was introduced to the concept of “mood congruence” on page 113! Because of the advice in this book, I also will be writing down my tasks and choices, both mundane and major, and seeing which ones correlate to my mood. Sometimes, I feel like my mental health and motivation does its own thing but realistically I know it probably corresponds to what I do throughout my day on a stronger level than I give it credit for. Is it possible science will destroy my procrastinating tendencies?!
An initial thought I had when I first learned Dan Howell was releasing a mental health book was, “Why Dan? How are you qualified whatsoever to give me mental health advice?” And when I learned everything was proofread by a licensed psychologist the question still remained, “Why DAN? Why couldn’t a psychologist have written the whole thing? Surely someone who’s studied mental health for forty years would give better advice than someone with no mental health training! But then it occurred to me, THAT BOOK ALREADY EXISTS. Probably thousands of books by fancy psychology people exist. And yet, the one I picked up and read was this one. Why? Because none of the other books would bonk me to horny jail, openly resent babies and the simplicity of which they live their lives, or refer to the urethra as “that convenient hole.”
I still think the psychologist could’ve had a hand in writing it to the point they would’ve been considered a proper co-author. In what I think is the ideal scenario, the psychologist would’ve supplied the extensive knowledge about mental health topics and Dan’s part would be making the humorous, well-formatted book that’s consumable to the average young person. A middle ground would’ve been best here in my opinion as we could’ve avoided vague phrases like “one study showed” on page 169. I get the goal was to make it accessible but surely there’s a line somewhere!! But like I said, I’ve never read “Reducing Cortisol and Improving Cognition By Albert E. Harvard PHD³”... I read the Daniel Howell Mental Health Guide. So the fact I’m reading this and being reminded of/learning new things that I wouldn’t have otherwise counts for a lot. Also, I believe the author in question’s creative control issues were brought up in the book so maybe a collaboration-heavy project wasn’t in the cards. All in all, much better that this book exists and all these people benefit from this advice than it never having been written.
I noticed a contradiction in the advice. The book first states:
“...food is not a bargaining chip, it is essential for us to stay alive. If we feel bad and our minds tell us we don’t deserve to eat, or have food we enjoy, we are sabotaging ourselves emotionally and physically. Try to be aware of how you view food as a punishment or prize and recognize instead that it’s essential fuel that you always deserve.” (154)
However, only twenty pages later it gives the post-workout recommendation:
“Treat yourself-- give yourself a carrot on a stick… have something to look forward to afterwards. Whether that’s a decadent bath, a snack, or permission to partake in some trashy entertainment. You’ve earned it.” (177)
This, obviously paints the food you enjoy as a reward to be had after doing something straining, or in other words, a bargaining chip. Genuinely believe the author did not mean for it to be interpreted that way and if he could go back might add something along the lines of “Which isn’t to say you don’t deserve a snack or self care bath regardless of all the exercise you did!” Don’t worry, I’ve already added the mental revision.
“Changing Your Mind” on 221 is incredibly important if you feel powerless about your depression or other mental health issues. For many years I felt that my depression controlled me and that I was just built differently from all these successful people. That I’d never be able to function as a normal member of society. Now, I work a full-time job that I am passionate about which is more than I EVER thought possible for me.
I also resonated deeply with the “All-Or-Nothing Thinking” segment on 225. I still struggle with this every day. In school if I didn’t think I could get straight-A’s in a certain class I would not attend school, ignore all the classwork, and ultimately spiral until I think I’m an incurable failure.
Finally, “Attitude of Gratitude” starting on 310 made me realize something fundamentally self-sabotaging about the way I view the world. Almost everything around me is covered in blood, this is a fact. The apartment I live in was built by someone who was paid in pocket change. The avocado I’m eating was picked by a child who is getting no education. That meat patty used thousands of gallons of water and put CO2 in the air at gross rates. The land I’m on was brutally colonized yet the local indigenous community isn’t provided with quality living standards. And when I know these things, I’m consumed with anger. Anger that drives me to fight for fairer policy and as a consumer, live as ethically and sustainably as I can in such a cruel society. However, not often do I take the time to set aside that anger for a moment to be grateful that I am where I am. This section made me consider that apart from literally fighting for better policy, perhaps the best thing someone in a privileged position can do is to at least be grateful for the things others wish that they had.
Overall I still think that because it was written by a non-professional, it doesn't offer anything incredibly profound but I personally benefited from it because I usually ignore my mental health and this forced me to actually think about it, even on just a basic level.
To finish it off on a positive note, here were my favorite quotes:
- "In mental health, there are no miracle cures that work for everyone." (26)
- "You may be the product of what made you, but you have the power to change and grow and make yourself feel better." (39)
- “Humans are just really complicated plants.” (121)
- “Try not to expect too much from other people -- remember they’re human and they won’t be able to read your mind or come up with magic solutions, so you might need to spell out what’s wrong, and even tell them what you need from them.” (213)
- “I won’t lie, when I first saw a therapist I was disappointed. Not with the experience-- that was profound and arguably life changing; I mean the room. I was not sitting in some grand library study, reclining on a chaise lounge while a man with a floor-length beard hummed every time I spoke.” (261)
- “Despite our best efforts and intentions, it’s normal to have ups and downs. Remember that mental health is not a straight line, we can do what we can to raise the floor level, but it will always wave with the happenings of the world.” (287)
P.S. Doubt anyone actually read all this, but if you did thanks for listening. Also, if the criticisms in this book made you mad or sad I recommend rereading Mental Filtering on page 227, which discusses looking at the big picture and not focusing on one perspective. Also know that if I didn’t like the book at all, I wouldn’t have finished it and this review wouldn’t be so damn long! Bye now.
So... this review is pretty much a book in itself. Before I start, I want to mention I have been following Dan's online presence fairly consistently since 2017, but I am reviewing this book objectively as a person who reads books (rather than a fan looking to provide unconditional support). Even though I was rather pessimistic about the idea of a Youtuber mental health book, I made sure to go in with a completely open mind.
Because it's clear he wishes for this to be regarded as a separate, more serious, project from his online career, I won't be treating Dan’s book as a "Youtuber book". Rather, I will compliment and criticize it as I would any regular text.
My first comment is a negative one about the first page titled "KEEP SAFE" which gave a police station as an example of a safe place to go if you are experiencing a serious mental health crisis. I think this is not only poor advice, but wildly tone-deaf to write when we are witnessing video footage each and every day proving that this is not the case for most people. Too many people who turned to the police during their lowest points are now dead. It's not dramatic or stretching to say that citing police stations as safe places for people experiencing a crisis could be life-ending advice being that police in most countries have little to no training in handling mental health crises, yet extensive training in combat.
The book is littered with (IN MY OPINION!) outdated attempts at relatability, but amongst the cheugy millennial humor there are sentiments, anecdotes, and examples for the mh activities that I found funny. Is it immature to point and laugh at a 13 year old accidentally touching a boob? Probably yeah, but it keeps you engaged! I think Dan succeeded in his effort to involve his core demographic in a book that offers practical mental health advice.
"I know unlimited internet is necessary for my lifestyle, but I reserve the right to complain about how expensive it is." I don't think this attempt at financial relatability was needed. Two world tours, tens of thousands of pieces of merch and books sold, a big custom-built house in London... I'm sure you can afford your internet cost. It's a personal pet peeve of mine to see rich or upper-middle class influencers complain about money in an attempt to be relatable to the working class. Like, while I'm sure you came from a lower-middle class family, you're well off now or at least much better off than at least 95% of people in the world.
I found Part 2 “TOMORROW” very useful, as I was introduced to the concept of “mood congruence” on page 113! Because of the advice in this book, I also will be writing down my tasks and choices, both mundane and major, and seeing which ones correlate to my mood. Sometimes, I feel like my mental health and motivation does its own thing but realistically I know it probably corresponds to what I do throughout my day on a stronger level than I give it credit for. Is it possible science will destroy my procrastinating tendencies?!
An initial thought I had when I first learned Dan Howell was releasing a mental health book was, “Why Dan? How are you qualified whatsoever to give me mental health advice?” And when I learned everything was proofread by a licensed psychologist the question still remained, “Why DAN? Why couldn’t a psychologist have written the whole thing? Surely someone who’s studied mental health for forty years would give better advice than someone with no mental health training! But then it occurred to me, THAT BOOK ALREADY EXISTS. Probably thousands of books by fancy psychology people exist. And yet, the one I picked up and read was this one. Why? Because none of the other books would bonk me to horny jail, openly resent babies and the simplicity of which they live their lives, or refer to the urethra as “that convenient hole.”
I still think the psychologist could’ve had a hand in writing it to the point they would’ve been considered a proper co-author. In what I think is the ideal scenario, the psychologist would’ve supplied the extensive knowledge about mental health topics and Dan’s part would be making the humorous, well-formatted book that’s consumable to the average young person. A middle ground would’ve been best here in my opinion as we could’ve avoided vague phrases like “one study showed” on page 169. I get the goal was to make it accessible but surely there’s a line somewhere!! But like I said, I’ve never read “Reducing Cortisol and Improving Cognition By Albert E. Harvard PHD³”... I read the Daniel Howell Mental Health Guide. So the fact I’m reading this and being reminded of/learning new things that I wouldn’t have otherwise counts for a lot. Also, I believe the author in question’s creative control issues were brought up in the book so maybe a collaboration-heavy project wasn’t in the cards. All in all, much better that this book exists and all these people benefit from this advice than it never having been written.
I noticed a contradiction in the advice. The book first states:
“...food is not a bargaining chip, it is essential for us to stay alive. If we feel bad and our minds tell us we don’t deserve to eat, or have food we enjoy, we are sabotaging ourselves emotionally and physically. Try to be aware of how you view food as a punishment or prize and recognize instead that it’s essential fuel that you always deserve.” (154)
However, only twenty pages later it gives the post-workout recommendation:
“Treat yourself-- give yourself a carrot on a stick… have something to look forward to afterwards. Whether that’s a decadent bath, a snack, or permission to partake in some trashy entertainment. You’ve earned it.” (177)
This, obviously paints the food you enjoy as a reward to be had after doing something straining, or in other words, a bargaining chip. Genuinely believe the author did not mean for it to be interpreted that way and if he could go back might add something along the lines of “Which isn’t to say you don’t deserve a snack or self care bath regardless of all the exercise you did!” Don’t worry, I’ve already added the mental revision.
“Changing Your Mind” on 221 is incredibly important if you feel powerless about your depression or other mental health issues. For many years I felt that my depression controlled me and that I was just built differently from all these successful people. That I’d never be able to function as a normal member of society. Now, I work a full-time job that I am passionate about which is more than I EVER thought possible for me.
I also resonated deeply with the “All-Or-Nothing Thinking” segment on 225. I still struggle with this every day. In school if I didn’t think I could get straight-A’s in a certain class I would not attend school, ignore all the classwork, and ultimately spiral until I think I’m an incurable failure.
Finally, “Attitude of Gratitude” starting on 310 made me realize something fundamentally self-sabotaging about the way I view the world. Almost everything around me is covered in blood, this is a fact. The apartment I live in was built by someone who was paid in pocket change. The avocado I’m eating was picked by a child who is getting no education. That meat patty used thousands of gallons of water and put CO2 in the air at gross rates. The land I’m on was brutally colonized yet the local indigenous community isn’t provided with quality living standards. And when I know these things, I’m consumed with anger. Anger that drives me to fight for fairer policy and as a consumer, live as ethically and sustainably as I can in such a cruel society. However, not often do I take the time to set aside that anger for a moment to be grateful that I am where I am. This section made me consider that apart from literally fighting for better policy, perhaps the best thing someone in a privileged position can do is to at least be grateful for the things others wish that they had.
Overall I still think that because it was written by a non-professional, it doesn't offer anything incredibly profound but I personally benefited from it because I usually ignore my mental health and this forced me to actually think about it, even on just a basic level.
To finish it off on a positive note, here were my favorite quotes:
- "In mental health, there are no miracle cures that work for everyone." (26)
- "You may be the product of what made you, but you have the power to change and grow and make yourself feel better." (39)
- “Humans are just really complicated plants.” (121)
- “Try not to expect too much from other people -- remember they’re human and they won’t be able to read your mind or come up with magic solutions, so you might need to spell out what’s wrong, and even tell them what you need from them.” (213)
- “I won’t lie, when I first saw a therapist I was disappointed. Not with the experience-- that was profound and arguably life changing; I mean the room. I was not sitting in some grand library study, reclining on a chaise lounge while a man with a floor-length beard hummed every time I spoke.” (261)
- “Despite our best efforts and intentions, it’s normal to have ups and downs. Remember that mental health is not a straight line, we can do what we can to raise the floor level, but it will always wave with the happenings of the world.” (287)
P.S. Doubt anyone actually read all this, but if you did thanks for listening. Also, if the criticisms in this book made you mad or sad I recommend rereading Mental Filtering on page 227, which discusses looking at the big picture and not focusing on one perspective. Also know that if I didn’t like the book at all, I wouldn’t have finished it and this review wouldn’t be so damn long! Bye now.
May 24, 2021
You Will Get Through This Night was the most anticipated new book of the year so far for me and it most certainly did not disappoint.
As a fan of Daniel Howell for at least a decade now, his YouTube videos used to help me a lot to process my feelings, there was a lot of relatability. I would be thinking as I watched that this is a person who feels similarly to me.
This was all confirmed years later with the video entitled "Daniel And Depression."
So when it was announced that Dan would be releasing a book covering the subject of mental health, I knew I had to preorder it right away.
Being completely open and raw with people has always been a fear of Dan’s. Even though his videos were relatable for those of us who were struggling, some of his true thoughts and feelings would always be hidden behind an armour of humour. So I am immensely proud that he was able to be so within these pages. There is bravery in being vulnerable, especially in such a public way.
You Will Get Through This Night is split into three parts.
- Part 1: This Night: Here, advice on how to overcome overwhelming worries and anxieties is covered. To help to you find ways through negative moments and ground yourself, to help you feel more safe. It is very easy to become stuck inside our own minds with overthinking, and you can’t just snap out of these habits or unlearn them completely overnight. But these tips and hints will hopefully help you get through, one night at a time.
- Part 2: Tomorrow: This part is for when you are feeling more able to make changes in your life. It goes through the areas of life that directly have an impact on our mental health and to help manage these.
- Part 3: The Days After That: This is all about addressing what’s going on inside your mind to make you feel certain ways. It’ll help you identify toxic thinking patterns, help you to deal with your emotions, detect sources of emotional distress, and ways to help adjust your mindset to deal with challenges that life throws at you.
Dan explains that you don’t have to read this in chronological order, but I chose to, and then will go back to the excerpts and exercises that I know will help me the most in times of need.
The contents was fact-checked in consultation with a clinical psychologist - Dr Heather Bolton.
There is no "one-size-fits-all" method to help with mental health struggles, as everybody is different, and This Night consists of tried and tested methods from different types of therapies (that may not work for everybody). But it is up to the individual to try and see what works for them, when they feel ready.
This book may open your mind to new methods you may not have heard of before.
A single book won’t change your life, only give you some stepping stones and guidance along the way.
The section entitled "Digital Detox" confirmed to me all my thoughts about social media having a negative impact on my mental health. Being too fixated on a virtual world can actually impact your real life and I had already started making some positive changes a while ago in that respect.
Dan’s writing style is very personable. The way all the information is presented is different to other "self help" style books currently available. My only wish is that something like this had been available when I was a teenager. There may not be any groundbreaking, new revelations made in This Night, but I know it will be a great starting point for so many younger people especially.
It is lovely to think of how many people it may help.
As a fan of Daniel Howell for at least a decade now, his YouTube videos used to help me a lot to process my feelings, there was a lot of relatability. I would be thinking as I watched that this is a person who feels similarly to me.
This was all confirmed years later with the video entitled "Daniel And Depression."
So when it was announced that Dan would be releasing a book covering the subject of mental health, I knew I had to preorder it right away.
Being completely open and raw with people has always been a fear of Dan’s. Even though his videos were relatable for those of us who were struggling, some of his true thoughts and feelings would always be hidden behind an armour of humour. So I am immensely proud that he was able to be so within these pages. There is bravery in being vulnerable, especially in such a public way.
You Will Get Through This Night is split into three parts.
- Part 1: This Night: Here, advice on how to overcome overwhelming worries and anxieties is covered. To help to you find ways through negative moments and ground yourself, to help you feel more safe. It is very easy to become stuck inside our own minds with overthinking, and you can’t just snap out of these habits or unlearn them completely overnight. But these tips and hints will hopefully help you get through, one night at a time.
- Part 2: Tomorrow: This part is for when you are feeling more able to make changes in your life. It goes through the areas of life that directly have an impact on our mental health and to help manage these.
- Part 3: The Days After That: This is all about addressing what’s going on inside your mind to make you feel certain ways. It’ll help you identify toxic thinking patterns, help you to deal with your emotions, detect sources of emotional distress, and ways to help adjust your mindset to deal with challenges that life throws at you.
Dan explains that you don’t have to read this in chronological order, but I chose to, and then will go back to the excerpts and exercises that I know will help me the most in times of need.
The contents was fact-checked in consultation with a clinical psychologist - Dr Heather Bolton.
There is no "one-size-fits-all" method to help with mental health struggles, as everybody is different, and This Night consists of tried and tested methods from different types of therapies (that may not work for everybody). But it is up to the individual to try and see what works for them, when they feel ready.
This book may open your mind to new methods you may not have heard of before.
A single book won’t change your life, only give you some stepping stones and guidance along the way.
The section entitled "Digital Detox" confirmed to me all my thoughts about social media having a negative impact on my mental health. Being too fixated on a virtual world can actually impact your real life and I had already started making some positive changes a while ago in that respect.
Dan’s writing style is very personable. The way all the information is presented is different to other "self help" style books currently available. My only wish is that something like this had been available when I was a teenager. There may not be any groundbreaking, new revelations made in This Night, but I know it will be a great starting point for so many younger people especially.
It is lovely to think of how many people it may help.
June 20, 2021
3.5 — not surprised at all, but still kinda disappointing personally. i think one of the largest public conversations surrounding mental health should be how oppressive systems and capitalism absolutely destroy it, and this book only brushed over that pretty lightly. i do think a lot of the advice the book offered was valuable — nothing was new to me, but a lot was stuff i’ve learned in classes or given as advice myself before. it’s not a bad book! just relatively basic and not what i personally want out of a mental health guide. i wish it’d been less individual-focused, i guess? just not for me.
also i think it needs more editing lmao there were some truly unclear sentences
also i think it needs more editing lmao there were some truly unclear sentences
September 18, 2021
TW//
“You may be a product of what made you, but you have the power to change and grow and make yourself feel better.”
I’ve been watching Daniel’s videos since I was a freshman in high school and I have depression, so when my dad offered to buy me a self-help book for my depression, I of course jumped on the opportunity to get this book. You Will Get Through This Night isn’t just a typical YouTuber book that the world already has too many of; this is a book aimed to help people start to live a better life and get through the hard moments in life. Daniel worked with a mental health therapist to write this book, so it’s a fun mix of techniques that will work based on actual research and the quirky humor that everyone loves from his online persona.
I was a little skeptical going in to this book. Most books by YouTubers are drab and have a pretty basic writing style, but I was immediately blown away by how authentic Daniel’s writing felt. He didn’t hold back and for possibly the first time ever, the real Daniel came out. Each paragraph was filled with who he really is and what he really went through. It made me admire him even more and it inspired me to keep fighting. If Daniel can get through this, then so can I and anyone else who puts in the work.
However, despite how good I felt this book was, this book was quite literally the definition of right book wrong time. I’ve struggled with finding the right therapist and I’ve had some really bad therapy experiences. A lot of the tips in this book should’ve been helpful, but because therapists that weren’t a good fit for me are the ones who initially taught me the tips, it’s hard to find motivation to implement them in my life. Most of the tips in this book won’t be drastically different than what you’d hear if you do a year or more of structured therapy, but if you’ve done only standard talk therapy or if you haven’t given therapy a long enough chance, I'd recommend this book to you as I can see how this book could be potentially life changing for some people.
“You may be a product of what made you, but you have the power to change and grow and make yourself feel better.”
I’ve been watching Daniel’s videos since I was a freshman in high school and I have depression, so when my dad offered to buy me a self-help book for my depression, I of course jumped on the opportunity to get this book. You Will Get Through This Night isn’t just a typical YouTuber book that the world already has too many of; this is a book aimed to help people start to live a better life and get through the hard moments in life. Daniel worked with a mental health therapist to write this book, so it’s a fun mix of techniques that will work based on actual research and the quirky humor that everyone loves from his online persona.
I was a little skeptical going in to this book. Most books by YouTubers are drab and have a pretty basic writing style, but I was immediately blown away by how authentic Daniel’s writing felt. He didn’t hold back and for possibly the first time ever, the real Daniel came out. Each paragraph was filled with who he really is and what he really went through. It made me admire him even more and it inspired me to keep fighting. If Daniel can get through this, then so can I and anyone else who puts in the work.
However, despite how good I felt this book was, this book was quite literally the definition of right book wrong time. I’ve struggled with finding the right therapist and I’ve had some really bad therapy experiences. A lot of the tips in this book should’ve been helpful, but because therapists that weren’t a good fit for me are the ones who initially taught me the tips, it’s hard to find motivation to implement them in my life. Most of the tips in this book won’t be drastically different than what you’d hear if you do a year or more of structured therapy, but if you’ve done only standard talk therapy or if you haven’t given therapy a long enough chance, I'd recommend this book to you as I can see how this book could be potentially life changing for some people.
May 23, 2021
3.5 - I was a bit hesitant to read this book even though I’ve been a fan of Dan’s for over a decade at this point. If it was a memoir I would’ve been all in immediately, but being a “practical mental health guide” didn’t totally appeal to me. Self-help or instructional type non-fiction isn’t what I typically gravitate towards.
I did mostly enjoy reading this. The personal moments he shared or jokes stood out to me as the strongest parts. But a lot of the advice seemed kinda trite and just rehashing things that are commonly said. When he related the advice to his own experiences then I didn’t mind so much that they didn’t feel like groundbreaking suggestions. I did appreciate that the tone never got super cheesy or tried to come across like this one book can solve all your problems. That sort of thing is what makes me want to steer clear of self-help as a genre.
I’m not sure how much this will appeal to people who aren’t already a fan of Dan.
I did mostly enjoy reading this. The personal moments he shared or jokes stood out to me as the strongest parts. But a lot of the advice seemed kinda trite and just rehashing things that are commonly said. When he related the advice to his own experiences then I didn’t mind so much that they didn’t feel like groundbreaking suggestions. I did appreciate that the tone never got super cheesy or tried to come across like this one book can solve all your problems. That sort of thing is what makes me want to steer clear of self-help as a genre.
I’m not sure how much this will appeal to people who aren’t already a fan of Dan.
April 16, 2021
Amazing, astonishing and absolutely necessary for the world we live in. Daniel Howell tackles mental health with humour, vigor and an overwhelming sense of connectedness. We are not alone. Keep this book on your nightstand. Carry it in your bag. It is the guide we all need to understand our own brains and the journey they take us on. I will be going back to it for advice and comfort. Thank you Dan
June 16, 2021
my best friend and i got drunk and read this book together because we’re ex stans and we were getting a lot of asks about it and god it was PAINFUL.
just the sheer narcissism of thinking this book was appropriate for him to write as somebody with no qualifications, very little primary experience, and a dwindling target demo of kids whose parents didn’t offer them therapy. it honestly makes my stomach churn. what kind of entitlement.
like first things first it was always going to be bad writing, but i didn't know it would be that bad? we've all been members of the too many commas gang at one point or another but i literally don't know how this got published. was there an editor. because he literally would make these three bullet lists for these skills that all meant the same thing because he has literally no idea what he's talking about!!
and like listen. the fact it's a self help book is problematic enough. the fact it's a self help book written by someone who found out what therapy was 5 years ago is revolting. the fact it's a self help book written by somebody who's target audience is the 11-17 demographic, making this a mental health guide for KIDS but not written as if it was for kids (which while i'm an advocate for bodily autonomy there's an entire paragraph on masturbation so don't tell me it's for kids), is deplorable.
then you can even just get into the content of the book. my personal favorite part is how there's an entire section where dan straight up mansplains maslow's hierarchy of needs and DOES SO IN HIS OWN WORDS AS IF HE CAME UP WITH THE CONCEPT!!!!!! COMPLETELY DESPITE THE FACT THIS STRUCTURE HAS FALLEN OUT OF FAVOR IN EVEN THE MOST BASIC OF DISCUSSION due to it's incredible racism, classism, and ableism!!
literally the content of this book is exactly what you'd find on page one of google for "i'm sad?" he has that entire part where he's clearly trying to fill the niche of like "this is a grab bag of techniques while i tell you how hard it is to be a child of divorce" like bitch shut up!!! the only thing it would be qualified to do is as assigned reading for a middle school wellness class, but only if you were really desperate.
just the sheer narcissism of thinking this book was appropriate for him to write as somebody with no qualifications, very little primary experience, and a dwindling target demo of kids whose parents didn’t offer them therapy. it honestly makes my stomach churn. what kind of entitlement.
like first things first it was always going to be bad writing, but i didn't know it would be that bad? we've all been members of the too many commas gang at one point or another but i literally don't know how this got published. was there an editor. because he literally would make these three bullet lists for these skills that all meant the same thing because he has literally no idea what he's talking about!!
and like listen. the fact it's a self help book is problematic enough. the fact it's a self help book written by someone who found out what therapy was 5 years ago is revolting. the fact it's a self help book written by somebody who's target audience is the 11-17 demographic, making this a mental health guide for KIDS but not written as if it was for kids (which while i'm an advocate for bodily autonomy there's an entire paragraph on masturbation so don't tell me it's for kids), is deplorable.
then you can even just get into the content of the book. my personal favorite part is how there's an entire section where dan straight up mansplains maslow's hierarchy of needs and DOES SO IN HIS OWN WORDS AS IF HE CAME UP WITH THE CONCEPT!!!!!! COMPLETELY DESPITE THE FACT THIS STRUCTURE HAS FALLEN OUT OF FAVOR IN EVEN THE MOST BASIC OF DISCUSSION due to it's incredible racism, classism, and ableism!!
literally the content of this book is exactly what you'd find on page one of google for "i'm sad?" he has that entire part where he's clearly trying to fill the niche of like "this is a grab bag of techniques while i tell you how hard it is to be a child of divorce" like bitch shut up!!! the only thing it would be qualified to do is as assigned reading for a middle school wellness class, but only if you were really desperate.
September 20, 2021
I absolutely cannot wait for this book! So proud of Dan for opening up about a topic that is too often considered taboo. It’s the book I know a lot of people will benefit from, including myself. Only 8 months to go ❤️
*September 19th, 2021*
I’m teetering between a 3.75 and a solid 4 stars for this book. I’ve been a fan of Dan’s for years and was super excited about this book (as you can tell from past Beth, who might I add, was the first review of this book when it was announced. Yes I have the screenshots to prove it).
This book, although simplistic at times, was very helpful. None of it was necessarily new information to me, but I found the way Dan explained it to be beneficial. The exercises throughout the book were thought provoking and helped me discover/accept a lot about my own mental health.
Personally, I was hoping it would be a little more relatable with vague stories from Dan’s own life (yes there were some mentions of his own struggles, but I think perhaps some more of those moments would really help the book shine). I know the intent of this book wasn’t to be a memoir, but I can’t help thinking that more stories throughout would’ve really made it feel like Dan speaking to his audience and letting his readers know they truly aren’t alone in going through these things. That being said, the times that he did open up about personal experiences were incredibly moving and made the book that much more impactful.
Overall, I think this is a book that will help many people. I will say the book felt like it was targeted a bit more towards teenagers, but I think most young people will find a way to click with this book and learn about mental health. The fact that it’s split into three different sections is incredible, and something I’ll definitely return to as I continue my own mental health journey.
*September 19th, 2021*
I’m teetering between a 3.75 and a solid 4 stars for this book. I’ve been a fan of Dan’s for years and was super excited about this book (as you can tell from past Beth, who might I add, was the first review of this book when it was announced. Yes I have the screenshots to prove it).
This book, although simplistic at times, was very helpful. None of it was necessarily new information to me, but I found the way Dan explained it to be beneficial. The exercises throughout the book were thought provoking and helped me discover/accept a lot about my own mental health.
Personally, I was hoping it would be a little more relatable with vague stories from Dan’s own life (yes there were some mentions of his own struggles, but I think perhaps some more of those moments would really help the book shine). I know the intent of this book wasn’t to be a memoir, but I can’t help thinking that more stories throughout would’ve really made it feel like Dan speaking to his audience and letting his readers know they truly aren’t alone in going through these things. That being said, the times that he did open up about personal experiences were incredibly moving and made the book that much more impactful.
Overall, I think this is a book that will help many people. I will say the book felt like it was targeted a bit more towards teenagers, but I think most young people will find a way to click with this book and learn about mental health. The fact that it’s split into three different sections is incredible, and something I’ll definitely return to as I continue my own mental health journey.
July 29, 2021
You Will Get Through This Night is Dan's first serious book. It discusses mental health and is packed with practical advice. There are three parts which are aimed towards tips for hard nights, the morning after, and the long term.
I still have an inherent disdain for YouTuber books but I was excited to read this nonetheless.
On one hand, it's clear that Dan has been through so much growth. This book marks a huge change for him. It's hard not to be happy for him that he's gotten to the point of using his platform for Pride and mental health. For those of us who have been following for a while (just checked- 2012 for me, damn), I'd even go as far as to suggest it's inspirational to see.
That said, if I didn't know Daniel Howell wrote this, my review would have been pretty harsh. When I read self-help books, I often look for compassion and personal insight, rather than advice. I mean, we all know that exercise and meditation are good for mental health. I want to learn from others and understand more about my own human experience.
Weirdly, this book feels outdated. People around my age group make up most of Dan's followers and well, I feel remarkably grateful that the importance of mental health is an established topic already in our age group (see: Simone Biles). I recognize that this is new and exciting for Dan but I suspect that it isn't for a lot of his audience. None of the advice is really new and it isn't presented in any new light.
Dan is fantastically charismatic and delightful to listen to. I watched Gay And Not Proud a few weeks ago and remembered why he has such a following. However, in writing, his humor doesn't quite translate. It came across as very serious and the lighter comments fell flat. I suppose being funny in writing is a different skill but the writing didn't sound like him.
As an experienced veteran of mental health issues (ayy, watch me pretend to be a functional adult in between mental health crises), I felt like it was clear that Dan wanted to help but I can't say this book was helpful. Moreover, my mental health was an actual mess a few weeks ago and reading this book made me feel worse- it felt patronizing and childish, like yes, I am very well aware that my emotions are a wreck and that ignoring my friends isn't a good idea. If I could actually stop behaving this way, yes, it would be great.
I don't want to be too critical. Dan means very well. This book just doesn't really do much for me. I had hoped it would be more personal and less focused on basic advice. I hope others have better experiences with this book.
What I'm Taking With Me
- While reading this, I realized how YouTube is fascinating because I very much grew up with Dan. As he was talking about various landmarks of his life, I remembered where I was when he did those things. I remember how YouTube used to feel like a tiny little community, where there was an opportunity to hang out, how YouTube wasn't yet a profession and it legitimately just felt like friends just hanging out online together.
- Also still not over that I started watching Dan in 2012, like dear god, have I spent so many years online?
- I did enjoy the reminder that mental health is like physical health- you always need to keep an eye out. I've been struggling this semester to balance it all so I hope next semester I'll make better decisions.
------------------------------
Man, Dan's personal growth is making me feel bad, like what even is this
Review to come!
I still have an inherent disdain for YouTuber books but I was excited to read this nonetheless.
On one hand, it's clear that Dan has been through so much growth. This book marks a huge change for him. It's hard not to be happy for him that he's gotten to the point of using his platform for Pride and mental health. For those of us who have been following for a while (just checked- 2012 for me, damn), I'd even go as far as to suggest it's inspirational to see.
That said, if I didn't know Daniel Howell wrote this, my review would have been pretty harsh. When I read self-help books, I often look for compassion and personal insight, rather than advice. I mean, we all know that exercise and meditation are good for mental health. I want to learn from others and understand more about my own human experience.
Weirdly, this book feels outdated. People around my age group make up most of Dan's followers and well, I feel remarkably grateful that the importance of mental health is an established topic already in our age group (see: Simone Biles). I recognize that this is new and exciting for Dan but I suspect that it isn't for a lot of his audience. None of the advice is really new and it isn't presented in any new light.
Dan is fantastically charismatic and delightful to listen to. I watched Gay And Not Proud a few weeks ago and remembered why he has such a following. However, in writing, his humor doesn't quite translate. It came across as very serious and the lighter comments fell flat. I suppose being funny in writing is a different skill but the writing didn't sound like him.
As an experienced veteran of mental health issues (ayy, watch me pretend to be a functional adult in between mental health crises), I felt like it was clear that Dan wanted to help but I can't say this book was helpful. Moreover, my mental health was an actual mess a few weeks ago and reading this book made me feel worse- it felt patronizing and childish, like yes, I am very well aware that my emotions are a wreck and that ignoring my friends isn't a good idea. If I could actually stop behaving this way, yes, it would be great.
I don't want to be too critical. Dan means very well. This book just doesn't really do much for me. I had hoped it would be more personal and less focused on basic advice. I hope others have better experiences with this book.
What I'm Taking With Me
- While reading this, I realized how YouTube is fascinating because I very much grew up with Dan. As he was talking about various landmarks of his life, I remembered where I was when he did those things. I remember how YouTube used to feel like a tiny little community, where there was an opportunity to hang out, how YouTube wasn't yet a profession and it legitimately just felt like friends just hanging out online together.
- Also still not over that I started watching Dan in 2012, like dear god, have I spent so many years online?
- I did enjoy the reminder that mental health is like physical health- you always need to keep an eye out. I've been struggling this semester to balance it all so I hope next semester I'll make better decisions.
------------------------------
Man, Dan's personal growth is making me feel bad, like what even is this
Review to come!
June 7, 2023
I had been a fan of Daniel Howell for some years now, very closely following and admiring his work and meeting him in person.
He is without a doubt a very intelligent and articulate person.
So when he released a practical mental health guide, I was very intrigued by what he had to say going so far as to purchase a signed hardback for an extremely inflated price.
However over the years for many reasons, my interest and respect in him has waned (for reasons also unrelated to this book, but hypocrisy being one.) and I feel like this book was the final nail in the coffin for me being a fan.
Dan indeed has a very dedicated following, but sadly one that does not appreciate any criticism nor deviation from their thinking. I find a strong irony in him releasing a mental health guide with how intensely vitriolic his fanbase is, but I do realise that is sadly out of his control and to his credit, he does touch on internet hate in this book and gives some fair tips on how to deal with it as an Youtuber himself.
However, I do wholeheartedly believe that if this book was written by a new author and not an internet celeb that it would not have been published, let alone became a best seller.
The book was marketed as something game changing, enlightening etc. For example the trailer had people doing yoga and various self improvement activities so naturally it gave off a very positive and interesting vibe.
However I was very disappointed and I know I am not the only one with distaste and an overall feeling of wasted money and time.
I came into this self help experience with an open mind.
Yes, Dan is known for his goofy antics and some may not take him seriously for writing a book about such an intense topic, but he also has opened up about issues such as depression and his sexuality that is commendable especially in this internet age of glossing over all imperfections and bragging culture.
I have many thoughts about this book but I will condense for readability sake as much as I can.
For starters, the tone is incredibly patronising. I know that Dan is known for his sarcasm and dark humour. But the tone is VERY jarring for a book of this nature.
I oftentimes felt very irritated by his tone and wanted to put the book down, it very much feels like "it's not that bad, things will be fine, you have nothing to worry about." which some may find comforting, but this is not a realistic and dare I say rather privileged stance to take. The humor is at times very forced in and jarring, it almost feels as if for every serious point made a random and unfunny joke has to be shoehorned in to make the book more palatable and inject that "Danisnotonfire" humor.
Mental health is extremely complex and should not be addressed with a "one size fits all" approach, while I sympathise that it can be very difficult to write a self help book I very much feel this is aimed at people who are having a natural low that comes with life, are overall comfortable and are perhaps experiencing minor troubles. This is absolutely not aimed at people with severe longterm trauma (although PTSD is mentioned very briefly with the classic "go see a professional" as if that's a magic cure.) or any other struggle that severly impacts day to day life. The line ends at very mild anxiety and depression.
I feel as if Dan constantly writing "see a professional" is rather dismissive and also potentially dangerous.
As someone who has been abused by mental health professionals I personally feel that he should have written to take caution with professionals, not all of them can be trusted that is an unfortunate fact and neither can other authority figures he mentions in an extremely positive and rather biased light. The police are mentioned which I feel in particular is extremely tone deaf, especially regarding recent events. I'm not sure when this was written, but it was published in 2021 after the tragic events of Police brutality in 2020, I feel as if this should have been revised with some sort of disclaimer.
It is well known that people struggling with mental health have been mistreated and outright killed by police, especially minorities.
The fact is that many people with mental health conditions have tried professional help and been mistreated, disregarded or outright abused and as a result have turned to self help books out of desperation with being failed by the system. I do not know Dan's personal circumstances and would not like to judge, but he seems financially stable and can most likely afford private paid-for healthcare which may have skewed his bias on professionals.
Despite working with a psychologist I still very much feel as if Dan should not have written this as he does not have the knowledge needed much of the advice contradicts and outright makes no sense. This is not to undermine his own struggle, but I feel as if this book would have worked better as a memoir or autobiography, rather than a "self help" book.
I would have found it less frustrating to read as a recollection of one's own experiences rather than a privileged millionaire internet celebrity telling his fanbase of predominantly young teenage girls "You'll all be fine. So stop worrying and get out there."
I did not expect this book to be a miracle cure, as nobody should, but I also expected it to be decent and bring something new to the table as it was made out to be. It just feels like "Generic self help book number 10000 with re-hashed grab-bag points from Google but with added sarcastic internet humor thay will be dated very quickly."
I can see second hand stores filled to the brim with endless copies of this collecting dust within a year or two.
As for the advice, I find it to be very banal and generic. I don't think this book is worth paying for as it lacks originality and the advice is extremely baseline and can be found in many places online. This is very much first page Google results for "I am sad."
I completely understand that no book is perfect, and appreciate and respect that he tried his hand at a self-help guide, whether out of genuinity or to profit off a following known for having poor mental health I cannot say.
However, I still feel very much 'rubbed the wrong way' by this in that it feels like a cash-in for a creator that's popularity is very clearly waning, but good on him for trying something new.
Regardless, if anyone felt helped by his book - Whether for the advice or because it was written by Dan (I would try to stifle my cynicism but I would still guess the latter. I'm not sure why anyone who isn't a fan would want to read this.) I am glad that it at least helped someone. But as for me, I can't seem to shake the ingenuity and patronising tone of the book.
I can't help but feel as if Dan wanted to capitalise on his struggles rather than create something heartfelt as the book felt incredibly uninspiring, rushed and overall forgettable.
"You will get through this book" yes thankfully I did, and such torture it was.
He is without a doubt a very intelligent and articulate person.
So when he released a practical mental health guide, I was very intrigued by what he had to say going so far as to purchase a signed hardback for an extremely inflated price.
However over the years for many reasons, my interest and respect in him has waned (for reasons also unrelated to this book, but hypocrisy being one.) and I feel like this book was the final nail in the coffin for me being a fan.
Dan indeed has a very dedicated following, but sadly one that does not appreciate any criticism nor deviation from their thinking. I find a strong irony in him releasing a mental health guide with how intensely vitriolic his fanbase is, but I do realise that is sadly out of his control and to his credit, he does touch on internet hate in this book and gives some fair tips on how to deal with it as an Youtuber himself.
However, I do wholeheartedly believe that if this book was written by a new author and not an internet celeb that it would not have been published, let alone became a best seller.
The book was marketed as something game changing, enlightening etc. For example the trailer had people doing yoga and various self improvement activities so naturally it gave off a very positive and interesting vibe.
However I was very disappointed and I know I am not the only one with distaste and an overall feeling of wasted money and time.
I came into this self help experience with an open mind.
Yes, Dan is known for his goofy antics and some may not take him seriously for writing a book about such an intense topic, but he also has opened up about issues such as depression and his sexuality that is commendable especially in this internet age of glossing over all imperfections and bragging culture.
I have many thoughts about this book but I will condense for readability sake as much as I can.
For starters, the tone is incredibly patronising. I know that Dan is known for his sarcasm and dark humour. But the tone is VERY jarring for a book of this nature.
I oftentimes felt very irritated by his tone and wanted to put the book down, it very much feels like "it's not that bad, things will be fine, you have nothing to worry about." which some may find comforting, but this is not a realistic and dare I say rather privileged stance to take. The humor is at times very forced in and jarring, it almost feels as if for every serious point made a random and unfunny joke has to be shoehorned in to make the book more palatable and inject that "Danisnotonfire" humor.
Mental health is extremely complex and should not be addressed with a "one size fits all" approach, while I sympathise that it can be very difficult to write a self help book I very much feel this is aimed at people who are having a natural low that comes with life, are overall comfortable and are perhaps experiencing minor troubles. This is absolutely not aimed at people with severe longterm trauma (although PTSD is mentioned very briefly with the classic "go see a professional" as if that's a magic cure.) or any other struggle that severly impacts day to day life. The line ends at very mild anxiety and depression.
I feel as if Dan constantly writing "see a professional" is rather dismissive and also potentially dangerous.
As someone who has been abused by mental health professionals I personally feel that he should have written to take caution with professionals, not all of them can be trusted that is an unfortunate fact and neither can other authority figures he mentions in an extremely positive and rather biased light. The police are mentioned which I feel in particular is extremely tone deaf, especially regarding recent events. I'm not sure when this was written, but it was published in 2021 after the tragic events of Police brutality in 2020, I feel as if this should have been revised with some sort of disclaimer.
It is well known that people struggling with mental health have been mistreated and outright killed by police, especially minorities.
The fact is that many people with mental health conditions have tried professional help and been mistreated, disregarded or outright abused and as a result have turned to self help books out of desperation with being failed by the system. I do not know Dan's personal circumstances and would not like to judge, but he seems financially stable and can most likely afford private paid-for healthcare which may have skewed his bias on professionals.
Despite working with a psychologist I still very much feel as if Dan should not have written this as he does not have the knowledge needed much of the advice contradicts and outright makes no sense. This is not to undermine his own struggle, but I feel as if this book would have worked better as a memoir or autobiography, rather than a "self help" book.
I would have found it less frustrating to read as a recollection of one's own experiences rather than a privileged millionaire internet celebrity telling his fanbase of predominantly young teenage girls "You'll all be fine. So stop worrying and get out there."
I did not expect this book to be a miracle cure, as nobody should, but I also expected it to be decent and bring something new to the table as it was made out to be. It just feels like "Generic self help book number 10000 with re-hashed grab-bag points from Google but with added sarcastic internet humor thay will be dated very quickly."
I can see second hand stores filled to the brim with endless copies of this collecting dust within a year or two.
As for the advice, I find it to be very banal and generic. I don't think this book is worth paying for as it lacks originality and the advice is extremely baseline and can be found in many places online. This is very much first page Google results for "I am sad."
I completely understand that no book is perfect, and appreciate and respect that he tried his hand at a self-help guide, whether out of genuinity or to profit off a following known for having poor mental health I cannot say.
However, I still feel very much 'rubbed the wrong way' by this in that it feels like a cash-in for a creator that's popularity is very clearly waning, but good on him for trying something new.
Regardless, if anyone felt helped by his book - Whether for the advice or because it was written by Dan (I would try to stifle my cynicism but I would still guess the latter. I'm not sure why anyone who isn't a fan would want to read this.) I am glad that it at least helped someone. But as for me, I can't seem to shake the ingenuity and patronising tone of the book.
I can't help but feel as if Dan wanted to capitalise on his struggles rather than create something heartfelt as the book felt incredibly uninspiring, rushed and overall forgettable.
"You will get through this book" yes thankfully I did, and such torture it was.
June 7, 2021
Last night I sat down and read this book in just under four hours. I was able to get it a week early, which I am extremely grateful for, and I have many thoughts.
This is a rewrite of a previous review I made, with many more critiques.
My main criticism of You Will Get Through This Night is the way it has been marketed. Despite Dan’s claims that it’s not a self-help book, he’s been advertising it as “therapy session.” (This is literally what he has said on Twitter.) Mental health is not one size fits all and it’s disingenuous to market it as such. For example, he talks about breathing exercises, which is great, but there are many people who not only do breathing exercises not work for but for whom breathing can trigger an even worse meltdown because of sensory issues. He is obviously talking about mental health from an extremely privileged perspective which just means that he’s alienating most of his audience. Not all of us can do everything he says, or even most of it. He stresses the importance of a calming living space, taking time for self care, and getting therapy, but for the average person anywhere in the world getting even one of those things is close to impossible. How are you supposed to tell people living paycheck to paycheck, or teenagers in abusive homes, or those who have a responsibility to care for their family, that they should be prioritizing themselves? For me, specifically, it mostly just makes me feel like shit, like it’s somehow my fault for not having access to all those resources and that I’m not trying hard enough. The self-help industry is very well known for preying on innocent and vulnerable people, and as much as I hate to say it, I think a lot of us ignore the fact that Dan is, at the end of the day, a wealthy white British male capitalist.
The history of psychology and psychiatry is complicated and I’m not an expert, but it is extremely unarguably very exclusionary. I think (and many more people have said) that this comes down to the fact that much of its origins are rooted in eugenics. It’s extremely hard in most places for people of color, neurodivergent people, disabled people, poor people, and other groups to get the proper care they need. Even with those who do end up getting care many are abused by the systems that are supposed to help them. Additionally, mental health isn’t as simple as just having one disorder. Most people who have at least one mental health problem have a whole lot more and those work together to create unique problems.
I disagree that Dan should have written a memoir, because he clearly feels uncomfortable doing so, which is well within his right. That being said, I probably would have found a memoir much more compelling. I find the fact that he wants to be a mental health advocate admirable but I just wish he didn’t act like he’s a therapist. The era of Dan’s mental health advocacy that worked the best was immediately after Daniel and Depression because he was sharing his own unique experience while recognizing that it wasn’t universal. I’m not trying to act like I’m better than Dan; I can’t even say what I would have done differently about YWGTTN because I wouldn’t have written it in the first place, it’s just not something that I have the skills to write. (I mean, the question is, does Dan have the skills to write it either? Who knows.) Someone who I think talks about mental health in a good way is John Green, because he’s made many videos talking about his OCD. He also wrote a book about it, but it was a fictional book with a main character who had OCD. It just seems a bit strange to be charging someone for unqualified advice just because you’re a well-known public figure. While he did partner with a psychologist, we don’t know the extent to which she contributed and there are many more sides to mental health that you can’t learn without studying it for years. This is all strange, but not at all unprecedented.
This is a rewrite of a previous review I made, with many more critiques.
My main criticism of You Will Get Through This Night is the way it has been marketed. Despite Dan’s claims that it’s not a self-help book, he’s been advertising it as “therapy session.” (This is literally what he has said on Twitter.) Mental health is not one size fits all and it’s disingenuous to market it as such. For example, he talks about breathing exercises, which is great, but there are many people who not only do breathing exercises not work for but for whom breathing can trigger an even worse meltdown because of sensory issues. He is obviously talking about mental health from an extremely privileged perspective which just means that he’s alienating most of his audience. Not all of us can do everything he says, or even most of it. He stresses the importance of a calming living space, taking time for self care, and getting therapy, but for the average person anywhere in the world getting even one of those things is close to impossible. How are you supposed to tell people living paycheck to paycheck, or teenagers in abusive homes, or those who have a responsibility to care for their family, that they should be prioritizing themselves? For me, specifically, it mostly just makes me feel like shit, like it’s somehow my fault for not having access to all those resources and that I’m not trying hard enough. The self-help industry is very well known for preying on innocent and vulnerable people, and as much as I hate to say it, I think a lot of us ignore the fact that Dan is, at the end of the day, a wealthy white British male capitalist.
The history of psychology and psychiatry is complicated and I’m not an expert, but it is extremely unarguably very exclusionary. I think (and many more people have said) that this comes down to the fact that much of its origins are rooted in eugenics. It’s extremely hard in most places for people of color, neurodivergent people, disabled people, poor people, and other groups to get the proper care they need. Even with those who do end up getting care many are abused by the systems that are supposed to help them. Additionally, mental health isn’t as simple as just having one disorder. Most people who have at least one mental health problem have a whole lot more and those work together to create unique problems.
I disagree that Dan should have written a memoir, because he clearly feels uncomfortable doing so, which is well within his right. That being said, I probably would have found a memoir much more compelling. I find the fact that he wants to be a mental health advocate admirable but I just wish he didn’t act like he’s a therapist. The era of Dan’s mental health advocacy that worked the best was immediately after Daniel and Depression because he was sharing his own unique experience while recognizing that it wasn’t universal. I’m not trying to act like I’m better than Dan; I can’t even say what I would have done differently about YWGTTN because I wouldn’t have written it in the first place, it’s just not something that I have the skills to write. (I mean, the question is, does Dan have the skills to write it either? Who knows.) Someone who I think talks about mental health in a good way is John Green, because he’s made many videos talking about his OCD. He also wrote a book about it, but it was a fictional book with a main character who had OCD. It just seems a bit strange to be charging someone for unqualified advice just because you’re a well-known public figure. While he did partner with a psychologist, we don’t know the extent to which she contributed and there are many more sides to mental health that you can’t learn without studying it for years. This is all strange, but not at all unprecedented.
February 5, 2022
Guys this book literally took me 10 months to read. 10. And honestly I had to force myself to finish it bc I was sick of it sitting on my shelf.
I'm just so confused as to why this book exists. It doesn't present any unique information. The "research" that is in the book is not sited at any point in the book, just attributed to "psychologists theorise that" or "scientific research shows that" without any actual references to these pieces of research; so these frameworks aren't being accurately credited, and if a reader wants to look more into a theory or practice they literally have no point to jump off of in terms of what to research.
There are so many points where I was unclear as to who the target audience was supposed to be. He mentioned things like homework and classes, whilst also writing about how sex can help you sleep better - dude who the fuck are you writing for. He mentions how if "you're a toxic man, maybe learn something from this passage" (paraphrasing), as if anyone over the age of 20 is going to pick this up off of a shelf. I just have no idea who this book is supposed to be for, which just dulls any potential messaging that the book could've had because it just wasn't focused enough.
The writing style just wasn't very compelling either. It's basically written how Dan speaks in his videos, but the cadence of speech /= writing style. The writing just got too superfluous and rambly for a non fiction book, which was a detriment to the valid points he was trying to make.
There were also just a bunch of formatting issues with the book - there are these black quote pages that seem to be purposefully placed in the most Inconvenient spaces, breaking up sentences over separate pages which was honestly just really annoying. Once or twice I'd get, but this happened at almost every one of them. Annoying.
The parts I enjoyed most about the book were the anecdotal parts, where Dan actually connected his life and the steps he's taken to improve his mental health. Even though a lot of the anecdotes were recycled from his videos (dear God, will we never be free from the panic alarm story), I still appreciated the human touches these parts gave to the otherwise clinical step by steps. Unfortunately, these were few and far between.
Speaking of step by step, I can guarantee that if you have done even the slightest bit of Google searching in mental health coping strategies, you will not gain a single piece of knowledge from this book. Almost all of the advice was just recycled twitter mental health threads, and I can safely say that I did not learn a single thing from this book that I didn't already know, which is an ISSUE with a NON-FICTION BOOK. I can appreciate that not every book is meant for me, and think it's super valid if you've been able to gain some insight because of this book, but that just was not my experience. It was so frustrating, because there were so many instances where he could've gone so in depth with a topic, but couldn't bc of the way he structured the book; again, this is the issue with not focusing the purpose for a book, bc he just ended up taking on too much which meant that he couldn't explore any of it in detail.
It pains me to write this long of a review on something I felt negatively towards, but I just honestly think that there are so many better (free!) mental health resources out there, you 100% don't need to spend your coin on this. I literally would not have even touched this book if it was written by somebody else, and I bet that most of the other people who bought this book are the same.
I'm just so confused as to why this book exists. It doesn't present any unique information. The "research" that is in the book is not sited at any point in the book, just attributed to "psychologists theorise that" or "scientific research shows that" without any actual references to these pieces of research; so these frameworks aren't being accurately credited, and if a reader wants to look more into a theory or practice they literally have no point to jump off of in terms of what to research.
There are so many points where I was unclear as to who the target audience was supposed to be. He mentioned things like homework and classes, whilst also writing about how sex can help you sleep better - dude who the fuck are you writing for. He mentions how if "you're a toxic man, maybe learn something from this passage" (paraphrasing), as if anyone over the age of 20 is going to pick this up off of a shelf. I just have no idea who this book is supposed to be for, which just dulls any potential messaging that the book could've had because it just wasn't focused enough.
The writing style just wasn't very compelling either. It's basically written how Dan speaks in his videos, but the cadence of speech /= writing style. The writing just got too superfluous and rambly for a non fiction book, which was a detriment to the valid points he was trying to make.
There were also just a bunch of formatting issues with the book - there are these black quote pages that seem to be purposefully placed in the most Inconvenient spaces, breaking up sentences over separate pages which was honestly just really annoying. Once or twice I'd get, but this happened at almost every one of them. Annoying.
The parts I enjoyed most about the book were the anecdotal parts, where Dan actually connected his life and the steps he's taken to improve his mental health. Even though a lot of the anecdotes were recycled from his videos (dear God, will we never be free from the panic alarm story), I still appreciated the human touches these parts gave to the otherwise clinical step by steps. Unfortunately, these were few and far between.
Speaking of step by step, I can guarantee that if you have done even the slightest bit of Google searching in mental health coping strategies, you will not gain a single piece of knowledge from this book. Almost all of the advice was just recycled twitter mental health threads, and I can safely say that I did not learn a single thing from this book that I didn't already know, which is an ISSUE with a NON-FICTION BOOK. I can appreciate that not every book is meant for me, and think it's super valid if you've been able to gain some insight because of this book, but that just was not my experience. It was so frustrating, because there were so many instances where he could've gone so in depth with a topic, but couldn't bc of the way he structured the book; again, this is the issue with not focusing the purpose for a book, bc he just ended up taking on too much which meant that he couldn't explore any of it in detail.
It pains me to write this long of a review on something I felt negatively towards, but I just honestly think that there are so many better (free!) mental health resources out there, you 100% don't need to spend your coin on this. I literally would not have even touched this book if it was written by somebody else, and I bet that most of the other people who bought this book are the same.
May 30, 2021
I like Dan a lot but this felt like (was) every other self help book on the shelf with a bit of I am queer and therefore relatable thrown in.
September 28, 2021
This was definitely not written for my middle eastern ass, but it had helpful tips nonetheless. And it's written by my dude Dan. We love Dan. We're proud of you, Dan. Keep it up.
May 22, 2021
I didn't like it sorry. Feels like a self-indulgence project not actually about helping people.
July 11, 2021
review: i'd like to preface with the fact that i've been a fan of dan's since around 5th grade. his videos on depression and coming out have been really personal to me, and they've helped me quite a lot.
basically, i'm indifferent. or just a bit conflicted. ignoring that this book was riddled with typos, comma splices, and the occasional grammatical error (please, o great dan, hire me to edit your book), it isn't bad. it's actually pretty good, dare i say it. the psychological information is incredibly valuable, and it had me taking notes. granted, a lot of the exercises i had heard before, but many i hadn't. i can see this book helping many who are in a bad state of mind and, honestly, that's enough to justify it. if this book helps one person, then it has done its job.
another thing about this book is that it's definitely written by dan. his humor finds its ways to shine through, as do his anecdotes and wit. at times, it can be a bit too ~quirky~ (sometimes throwing me back to 2016), but it doesn't interfere too much with the information at hand. if you love dan and his youtube videos, chances are, you'll love this. he's an expert on lightening the mood with humor, which is what a book on mental health struggles needs.
what all of this comes down to is that, sure, this book was fairly enjoyable to read; it's just a bit too basic. it can definitely save people, which is its purpose, so i'll give it that, but it's just too repetitive and fundamental. and, again, please hire me as an editor, because this book needs it.
read this book if you want to. it's not bad, but it's not show-stoppingly spectacular.
* * *
prereview: my mental health has been in the absolute GUTTER lately because of work, school, extracurriculars, and piano competitions, so when i got an email saying this was finally released, i nearly screamed out of happiness. this is what i need right now.
basically, i'm indifferent. or just a bit conflicted. ignoring that this book was riddled with typos, comma splices, and the occasional grammatical error (please, o great dan, hire me to edit your book), it isn't bad. it's actually pretty good, dare i say it. the psychological information is incredibly valuable, and it had me taking notes. granted, a lot of the exercises i had heard before, but many i hadn't. i can see this book helping many who are in a bad state of mind and, honestly, that's enough to justify it. if this book helps one person, then it has done its job.
another thing about this book is that it's definitely written by dan. his humor finds its ways to shine through, as do his anecdotes and wit. at times, it can be a bit too ~quirky~ (sometimes throwing me back to 2016), but it doesn't interfere too much with the information at hand. if you love dan and his youtube videos, chances are, you'll love this. he's an expert on lightening the mood with humor, which is what a book on mental health struggles needs.
what all of this comes down to is that, sure, this book was fairly enjoyable to read; it's just a bit too basic. it can definitely save people, which is its purpose, so i'll give it that, but it's just too repetitive and fundamental. and, again, please hire me as an editor, because this book needs it.
read this book if you want to. it's not bad, but it's not show-stoppingly spectacular.
* * *
prereview: my mental health has been in the absolute GUTTER lately because of work, school, extracurriculars, and piano competitions, so when i got an email saying this was finally released, i nearly screamed out of happiness. this is what i need right now.
June 2, 2021
Dan is a really good writer. He keeps it interesting, his language flows well, and he's funny. I snorted out loud loads of times, but that might also be because we have the same sense of humor. As someone who has spent the past year studying psychology (both in college and on my own time as I am a nerd,) I knew a lot of this from before. Most of it, even. Some of it I'd even say is pretty basic knowledge nowadays. Even so, it was nice to be reminded of the things I know, but don't always practice.
I've followed Dan's journey since around 2013 and I'm so proud to see how far he's come. The first time I watched Daniel and Depression I felt understood - and upon reading this book, I feel understood again. Relateable Dan-quotes incoming:
"I live by the phrase 'if you want something done right, do it yourself,' and I also die by it, as it's exhausting and makes me resentful."
"Nothing personally gets me moving like guilt and shame."
"I feel free and open, like a mental-health trenchcoat flasher."
Besides being hillarious, this book is also full of genuinely good tips that could better one's mental health. If I'm being honest I won't take a lot of them to heart (I know I drink too much caffeine and overthink and dwell on things and catastrophize, I don't care too much) but I will definitely keep some of it in mind. On another note, I love Dan. I don't know Dan, but I appreciate his extistence.
More self-help books written by depressives, please. I'm so tired of listening to some neurotypical with a fancy degree telling me how to achieve inner peace. I just want a fellow, flawed human being with some insights and knowledge who has done research and consulted someone. This writing-partnership between a therapist and someone who struggles himself really made for a good reading experience, and I must say I recommend.
I've followed Dan's journey since around 2013 and I'm so proud to see how far he's come. The first time I watched Daniel and Depression I felt understood - and upon reading this book, I feel understood again. Relateable Dan-quotes incoming:
"I live by the phrase 'if you want something done right, do it yourself,' and I also die by it, as it's exhausting and makes me resentful."
"Nothing personally gets me moving like guilt and shame."
"I feel free and open, like a mental-health trenchcoat flasher."
Besides being hillarious, this book is also full of genuinely good tips that could better one's mental health. If I'm being honest I won't take a lot of them to heart (I know I drink too much caffeine and overthink and dwell on things and catastrophize, I don't care too much) but I will definitely keep some of it in mind. On another note, I love Dan. I don't know Dan, but I appreciate his extistence.
More self-help books written by depressives, please. I'm so tired of listening to some neurotypical with a fancy degree telling me how to achieve inner peace. I just want a fellow, flawed human being with some insights and knowledge who has done research and consulted someone. This writing-partnership between a therapist and someone who struggles himself really made for a good reading experience, and I must say I recommend.
October 8, 2021
read this book and decided this author is the kind of person who would have a lightbulb appear above his head & rub his hands together while smirking when he has a mischievous idea. also the type to yell "YOWCHH!!" when he stubs his toe
June 21, 2021
I've been following Dan on YouTube for many years now and I knew that any book written by him would be witty and funny and this was no different. The writing definitely has Dan's spiciness to it and I love the references and inside jokes he makes to Norman, the panic alarm, etc.
As a mental health guide itself, however, I do feel like the book doesn't say much that we probably haven't already heard about mental health. I know it's not that kind of book but I do wish it was a little bit more anecdotal and a little less to-do-list. My favorite section was the one where the book went over different emotions — shame, grief, jealousy, etc. — and discussed how to deal with them.
As a mental health guide itself, however, I do feel like the book doesn't say much that we probably haven't already heard about mental health. I know it's not that kind of book but I do wish it was a little bit more anecdotal and a little less to-do-list. My favorite section was the one where the book went over different emotions — shame, grief, jealousy, etc. — and discussed how to deal with them.
Read
October 11, 2025I have now come to terms with the fact I will not get through this book.
Read
July 3, 2021it didn't feel right rating this, so i'm gonna stick with that instinct.
as someone who's been to therapy a few times and done some reading on mental health before, i will say not much of this felt like new information to me, although i think the format and tone is different than what you may typically read in a mental health book. it's kind of every piece of mental health advice you could need compiled into one book - whether you're in crisis, a general state of depression, or generally okay but just wanting to better your mental health - and it's interspersed with anecdotes and quips written with dan howell's usual brand of self deprecating humor.
despite much of this book being information i already knew, i won't pretend it didn't have an effect on me. i did, in fact, cry in my car one day when he hit a little too close to home. if you're anxious, depressed, in crisis, or even just having a shitty week, you might be surprised at how this makes you feel. dan makes a point to let you know that whatever and however you're feeling is okay and not your fault (you're valid, but like, unironically) but that it will not last forever. he uses personal experience as well as medically sound facts (the entire book was vetted by a psychologist) to help relate and explain what's going on in your brain and how you can help make it better.
also, please read the audiobook. you will not regret it. not only is dan a good narrator, but there's an extra 30+ minutes of bonus content including q&a, breathing exercises, bloopers, a weird ass asmr sequence, and a lot of dan laughing and having fun. it was a unique and fun way to end an audiobook and helped lift my spirits a bit after days of toiling over my own less-than-ideal current state of mental health.
as someone who's been to therapy a few times and done some reading on mental health before, i will say not much of this felt like new information to me, although i think the format and tone is different than what you may typically read in a mental health book. it's kind of every piece of mental health advice you could need compiled into one book - whether you're in crisis, a general state of depression, or generally okay but just wanting to better your mental health - and it's interspersed with anecdotes and quips written with dan howell's usual brand of self deprecating humor.
despite much of this book being information i already knew, i won't pretend it didn't have an effect on me. i did, in fact, cry in my car one day when he hit a little too close to home. if you're anxious, depressed, in crisis, or even just having a shitty week, you might be surprised at how this makes you feel. dan makes a point to let you know that whatever and however you're feeling is okay and not your fault (you're valid, but like, unironically) but that it will not last forever. he uses personal experience as well as medically sound facts (the entire book was vetted by a psychologist) to help relate and explain what's going on in your brain and how you can help make it better.
also, please read the audiobook. you will not regret it. not only is dan a good narrator, but there's an extra 30+ minutes of bonus content including q&a, breathing exercises, bloopers, a weird ass asmr sequence, and a lot of dan laughing and having fun. it was a unique and fun way to end an audiobook and helped lift my spirits a bit after days of toiling over my own less-than-ideal current state of mental health.
May 18, 2021
I just got this book yesterday morning and I've been up all night reading it and even re-reading some of my favourite parts.
It's truly incredible. Funny, upsetting, charming and more helpful that I ever expected. I got this book because I've been a fan of Daniel for about 10 years and I wanted to learn more about him, which I definitely did, but when I finished the book I had also learned a lot about myself.
This book really has something for everyone.
It doesn't matter if you've been a follower of Dan for years or if you've never heard of him in your life. It doesn't matter if you are the pinnacle of mental health or if you've struggled with depression for over 20 years, like I have. Regardless of who you are I believe that you will be entertained and and get some helpful advice and tips to apply to your own life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go and re-read this book again.
It's truly incredible. Funny, upsetting, charming and more helpful that I ever expected. I got this book because I've been a fan of Daniel for about 10 years and I wanted to learn more about him, which I definitely did, but when I finished the book I had also learned a lot about myself.
This book really has something for everyone.
It doesn't matter if you've been a follower of Dan for years or if you've never heard of him in your life. It doesn't matter if you are the pinnacle of mental health or if you've struggled with depression for over 20 years, like I have. Regardless of who you are I believe that you will be entertained and and get some helpful advice and tips to apply to your own life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go and re-read this book again.
June 3, 2021
i'm not too into self-help books usually because i'm way too mean and cynical to buy into most motivational stuff, but i decided to pick this one up bc dan howell was a biiig part of my teenage years hahaha. what i got was a nice, practical and often funny mental health guide, which i'm sure would be a lot of help to people who find this kinda thing useful.
i'm glad i got this as an audiobook narrated by dan, or i reckon my attention might have slipped a little more, especially during all the 'practical exercises' the book offers. i'd recommend the audiobook version for any current or former fans of dan, as well as anyone with a limited attention span like myself!
as i said, i'm not much for self-help, and i wouldn't say the book had a profound impact on me. but it was very enjoyable to listen to, definitely very calming and reassuring, and i really liked the fact that any self-help elements were interspersed with personal stories and jokes to stop it from feeling old :)
i'm glad i got this as an audiobook narrated by dan, or i reckon my attention might have slipped a little more, especially during all the 'practical exercises' the book offers. i'd recommend the audiobook version for any current or former fans of dan, as well as anyone with a limited attention span like myself!
as i said, i'm not much for self-help, and i wouldn't say the book had a profound impact on me. but it was very enjoyable to listen to, definitely very calming and reassuring, and i really liked the fact that any self-help elements were interspersed with personal stories and jokes to stop it from feeling old :)
June 3, 2021
Rating: 5/5
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I don't normally read books written by YouTubers, but Dan has been one of my favorite YouTubers for ages, so I'm really looking forward to reading this.
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I don't normally read books written by YouTubers, but Dan has been one of my favorite YouTubers for ages, so I'm really looking forward to reading this.
June 30, 2021
من ۸-۹ ساله فعالیتهای دن رو و دو سه ساله پیج های مختلف سلامت روان رو توی پلتفرمهای مختلف دنبال میکنم و به همین خاطر برام مطالب جدید زیادی نداشت
به طور کلی این کتاب یه رفرنس و برای نشون دادن راههای فرار از افسردگی یا اختلال اضطرابی نیست و نمیتونه به هیچ وجه مثل یک تراپیست رفتار کنه(فکر نمیکنم هیچ کتابی بتونه در واقع)ا
اما به نظرم این،اون کتابیه که باید برای افرادی خریداری بشه که فکر میکنن "سلامت روان موضوعیه که فقط برای افراد مبتلا به بیماری روان مطرحه" تا بدونن چطور باید به خودشون و سلامت روانشون اهمیت بدن
بهترین نکته در موردش همینه که نه تنها در تکست ،در ساب-تکست هم میشه پذیرش دن رو نسبت به خودِ چندین سال پیشش دید و به نظرم همین خوندن کتاب رو تجربهی شیرینی میکنه و میتونه برای نوجوونا کتاب خیلی خوبی باشه تا مثل خیلی از ما بزرگترا نصف زمان زندگیشون رو درگیر سلف-لوثینگ نباشند
به طور کلی این کتاب یه رفرنس و برای نشون دادن راههای فرار از افسردگی یا اختلال اضطرابی نیست و نمیتونه به هیچ وجه مثل یک تراپیست رفتار کنه(فکر نمیکنم هیچ کتابی بتونه در واقع)ا
اما به نظرم این،اون کتابیه که باید برای افرادی خریداری بشه که فکر میکنن "سلامت روان موضوعیه که فقط برای افراد مبتلا به بیماری روان مطرحه" تا بدونن چطور باید به خودشون و سلامت روانشون اهمیت بدن
بهترین نکته در موردش همینه که نه تنها در تکست ،در ساب-تکست هم میشه پذیرش دن رو نسبت به خودِ چندین سال پیشش دید و به نظرم همین خوندن کتاب رو تجربهی شیرینی میکنه و میتونه برای نوجوونا کتاب خیلی خوبی باشه تا مثل خیلی از ما بزرگترا نصف زمان زندگیشون رو درگیر سلف-لوثینگ نباشند
October 12, 2021
mr Howell here was a massive part of my (online) teenage years and seeing him become an advocate for mental health is genuinely heartwarming. I enjoyed this guide -not a memoir or an essay!- quite a lot, it's straightforward, easy to understand and has a good combination of simple exercises for immediate mental health needs and more in-depth parts about building resilience and living authentically. proud of u dan:')
September 27, 2021
DNF. I could not finish this book for the life of me. This is all advice I have heard before, made “funny” and “relatable”. I used to love all of Dan’s content but more and more I find myself being really annoyed by the hype he gets for mediocre work. If you are looking for real advice, you could get google results articles similar in quality to this book’s suggestions.
June 2, 2021
Review to come soon. I'm glad that I picked this up to listen to. Dan's narration through components of exercising good practices for maintaining well being and self-care are helpful, at times hilarious, and grounding in the best moments. Some parts of the book drag a bit even with Dan's voice moving through the sections. I appreciated the narrative as a whole though. 3.5 to 4 stars overall, need to think it over a night to decide.
June 22, 2021
This was EXCELLENT! I was not expecting to love it this much. Dan’s videos always made me laugh, and I’ve missed him while he was gone from the internet on his break. I wasn’t sure what to expect, I kinda thought this would be a satire about his mental health, and have tons of his self deprecating humor. And while there is humor in this book, it really is a Practical Guide to helping improve your mental health. SO many incredible tips and information. This book could help a lot of people. Dan really did a good thing here. I highly recommend the audiobook, he narrates it and it is so wonderful to hear how passionate he is about these topics. Highly recommend you check this one out!
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