"Wherever you are in New York you are at the heart of it. New York is holographic. Every part contains the whole."
I am not sure if others will love this book as much as I do, so much of it resonated for me so intensely, so personally that I felt the story sink into my skin. This is a love story, or more accurately a series of love stories.
First, it is a love letter to a New York that is almost gone. The hundred year old Italian sandwich shops and Ukrainian diners, and bars with cheap beer open until 4 am, and the grimy gyms with members 20 to 90 in their towels and jockstraps debating where to get the best capicola, and the rent control, and the perfection of the sun setting over the Hudson before Hudson Yards blocked the view. The harder we try to grab it and anchor that late 20th century NYC magic (and it was magic) the faster it runs through our fingers. This is the author's romance with this city, but it looks a lot like my own. He and I are roughly the same age, and we got to NYC around the same time I believe, the late 80's. Based on his storytelling I am guessing we were in a lot of the same bars seeing a lot of the same shows and eating in a lot of the same restaurants at odd times of the day and night.
The second love story is between Mike and June. June was a cool punk girl in the 80s, one Mike admired from afar and it turns out that though she was hooking up with lots of musicians she thought he was cute too. They find each other again by accident 30 years later, now in their 50's just as June is divorcing, and after Mike has divorced twice. Initially they bond over the glories of being single in the city (DeCapite references Vivian Gornick's Odd Woman and the City, describes it perfectly, but never uses its name and recommends June read it -- I loved that because through his understanding of that book and why it would matter to June he shows us how much he respects women and their autonomy, and that is a rare thing.) Of course this bonding over new singlehood quickly turns to longing. June resists, she wants to be single, but eventually they fall into romance. Sex filled days and nights, 40-block walks, finding ways to justify being together all the time, confessional conversations, but June keeps inserting distance between them. Mike lays his longing bare for the reader, and would make himself just as vulnerable to June if only she would let him. Instead she cuts off talk of love and permanence. Like the disappearing wonder of late 20th century New York June also falls apart if she is grasped too hard. And June is not just June, she is a piece of that moment in the City that he is trying to recapture. The love for June and for New York is not separable, it is all of a piece, and it is all ephemeral. Mike broke my heart longing for any signs of permanence, rejoicing over a bottle of conditioner left in his tub. We get the impression that June also loves Mike, but that the urge to have her own life not tied to a man is real, that she needs that autonomy. And we see that Mike respects that need for autonomy, respects June, but also would do about anything not to lose her.
The third love story is between the characters and great food (there is a lot of restaurant and recipe talk among the men), great music of many genres, and great books of many sorts. The lists of references warmed my soul, there was nary a band or restaurant, or city view mentioned that not part of my NYC mental scrapbook. (Mike's thoughts on "Don't Stop Believing" alone would have made me love this book - lord I hate that song and Mike's wonderings about it made me feel seen!)
For me this is an indisputable 5-star even though I was not happy with the ending. I loved this book. I suspect a lot of people will not understand the characters or the things they love and long for. For me, I understood every word, felt every word. Like June my life was saved by rock and roll. Like Mike watching the sun rise under the bridges raises the same goosebumps, the same ache as a lover's finger trailing down my arm, and like Mike the thought for me of losing either (and the certain knowledge that eventually I will) creates the same knot in my chest. I feel like I just read a friend.