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Wait: A Love Letter to Those in Despair
Pause, find connection, and choose peace rather than harm when you feel overwhelmed in the crashing ocean of life.
You are the calm of the ocean, not the pounding wave. The tumultuous, confusing, and unbearable feelings that arise in life will never overtake your true essence and the peace you can find below the surface.
Written as a love letter to those in pain, Wait encourages us to seek out a path to peace and freedom from suffering. Cuong Lu, a long-time disciple of Thich Nhat Hanh, personally witnessed a shooting while fleeing Vietnam in 1975. The memory of this trauma prompted him to dedicate his life to sharing the wisdom of deep listening, finding understanding, and in his words, "defusing the bombs in our hearts." We have waited long enough for the violence to stop. Now is the time to help turn the tide, interrupt the cycle of violence, and create a world where love and understanding thrive.
You are the calm of the ocean, not the pounding wave. The tumultuous, confusing, and unbearable feelings that arise in life will never overtake your true essence and the peace you can find below the surface.
Written as a love letter to those in pain, Wait encourages us to seek out a path to peace and freedom from suffering. Cuong Lu, a long-time disciple of Thich Nhat Hanh, personally witnessed a shooting while fleeing Vietnam in 1975. The memory of this trauma prompted him to dedicate his life to sharing the wisdom of deep listening, finding understanding, and in his words, "defusing the bombs in our hearts." We have waited long enough for the violence to stop. Now is the time to help turn the tide, interrupt the cycle of violence, and create a world where love and understanding thrive.
157 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 9, 2021
84 people are currently reading
5854 people want to read
About the author
Cuong Lu
6 books71 followersCuong Lu, Buddhist teacher, scholar, and writer, was born in Vietnam in 1968 and emigrated to the Netherlands with his family in 1980. He majored in East Asian studies at the University of Leiden, and in 1993 was ordained as the 18th monastic disciple of Thich Nhat Hanh at Plum Village in France. In 2000, he was recognized as a teacher in the Lieu Quan line of the Linji School of Zen Buddhism.
In 2009, Cuong left Plum Village after sixteen years, returned to lay life, and continued his practice as an invisible monk in the Netherlands. In 2011, along with five colleagues, he attended a ceremony establishing Buddhist spiritual care at the Ministry of Justice and served as a chaplain in Holland’s penitentiary system for six years.
In the same year, Cuong founded Mind Only Institute, located in Holland, where he teaches Buddhist philosophy and psychology, specializing in Yogachara Buddhism combined with the Madhyamaka (Middle Way) school of Nagarjuna.
In 2022, he founded No Word Zen, an order of “invisible” monks and nuns. The monastics in this order are everywhere, serving society and the planet without being “caught” by monastic forms or robes.
Cuong Lu is the author of The Buddha in Jail: Restoring Lives, Finding Hope and Freedom; Wait: A Love Letter to Those in Despair; and Happiness is Overrated: Simple Lessons on Finding Meaning in Each Moment.
He teaches in Europe, Asia, and United States.
In 2009, Cuong left Plum Village after sixteen years, returned to lay life, and continued his practice as an invisible monk in the Netherlands. In 2011, along with five colleagues, he attended a ceremony establishing Buddhist spiritual care at the Ministry of Justice and served as a chaplain in Holland’s penitentiary system for six years.
In the same year, Cuong founded Mind Only Institute, located in Holland, where he teaches Buddhist philosophy and psychology, specializing in Yogachara Buddhism combined with the Madhyamaka (Middle Way) school of Nagarjuna.
In 2022, he founded No Word Zen, an order of “invisible” monks and nuns. The monastics in this order are everywhere, serving society and the planet without being “caught” by monastic forms or robes.
Cuong Lu is the author of The Buddha in Jail: Restoring Lives, Finding Hope and Freedom; Wait: A Love Letter to Those in Despair; and Happiness is Overrated: Simple Lessons on Finding Meaning in Each Moment.
He teaches in Europe, Asia, and United States.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
October 23, 2020
This is a sweet and well intentioned little book, "written as a love letter to those in pain." The author and his family fled violence in Vietnam and he wrote this book after being so upset about school shootings and other violence happening now. It's a very loving, soothing book but it is written not just to those in pain but those who are contemplating violence, and I just can't imagine someone who's considering shooting up a school being in the right headspace to stop and read a Buddhist book about how much they are loved and there is no death. It also just didn't get very deep. The chapters are all very short with large text and there wasn't really much that really made me think. I did greatly appreciate the book, but I'm not sure who will benefit the most from it.
I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for review.
I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for review.
October 28, 2020
This book has helped me to get in touch with freedom, from my own suffering. I have learned that when I have hurt someone, I hurt myself. The author wrote that a bullet doesn’t have eyes, and it can hit your enemy as well as your beloved one. I know that this book will help society to calm down. We need more peace and less violence in this world. I wish many people will have a chance to read it. The strong point of this book is: it has short chapters, easy to read for busy people.
April 1, 2025
The messaging and wisdom in this little book were exactly what I needed in this moment. I’m grateful for the teachings in this little book. In love, let’s move forward.
March 11, 2023
“There’s nothing wrong with crying when you feel pain—whether physical, spiritual, or emotional. If you’re hungry, you need to eat. If you’re tired, you need to sleep. And if you’re suffering, you might need to cry.”
💛🌻
💛🌻
October 6, 2021
I wanted to love this (it was decent) but it seemed like the author gave a lot of advice with little support on how to implement his ideas in daily life.
Quotes
“With a dream you’ll never burnout. You can work for peace without getting tired. When you dream big enough, you grow large beyond yourself.” Liked this one
“Even when you feel depleted, burned out, you can still be generous…One way out of burnout is to reach out to someone who needs your help. Supporting others is a way to help yourself.” Okay I feel like this gets tricky. I like the sentiment but also wish he mentioned setting healthy boundaries in this same section
“You feel depressed because you think you’re an individual. You are not one leaf, but all the leaves of a tree. Your feelings are not just yours. They’re also mine. Your suffering and your happiness are also mine.” Idk how I feel about this. I generally like collectivist ideas but I also think people have to take ownership of their own feelings?
“If you don’t listen in granular detail with a calm presence and a free mind, the outcome can be disastrous.” Love this!
“Not being derailed by your loved one’s day is a sign of love. When you love someone you can allow them to suffer. You don’t have to fix everything.” Really agree with this. Sitting with someone in their sorrow is sometimes more therapeutic and supportive than offering advice
Quotes
“With a dream you’ll never burnout. You can work for peace without getting tired. When you dream big enough, you grow large beyond yourself.” Liked this one
“Even when you feel depleted, burned out, you can still be generous…One way out of burnout is to reach out to someone who needs your help. Supporting others is a way to help yourself.” Okay I feel like this gets tricky. I like the sentiment but also wish he mentioned setting healthy boundaries in this same section
“You feel depressed because you think you’re an individual. You are not one leaf, but all the leaves of a tree. Your feelings are not just yours. They’re also mine. Your suffering and your happiness are also mine.” Idk how I feel about this. I generally like collectivist ideas but I also think people have to take ownership of their own feelings?
“If you don’t listen in granular detail with a calm presence and a free mind, the outcome can be disastrous.” Love this!
“Not being derailed by your loved one’s day is a sign of love. When you love someone you can allow them to suffer. You don’t have to fix everything.” Really agree with this. Sitting with someone in their sorrow is sometimes more therapeutic and supportive than offering advice
May 7, 2021
A book of a heartfelt plea to stop universal gun violence. You could feel the authors heart as he wrote this healing book for both victim and perpetrators. Most definitely a quick and interesting read.
February 17, 2021
It has some wonderful moments but it feels telegraphic at times. I was very divided between 3 and 4 stars, but I guess generosity is the way!
October 15, 2022
⭐️ZERO STARS ⭐️
I disliked this entire book. I can’t see this as being beneficial, much less a good suicide prevention read.. 🤷🏻♂️ this book is horrible and depressing.
I didn’t care for the whole chapter on gun control. gun control won’t solve everything. Quit preaching it like it will.
Here are some quotes direct from the book that I just couldn’t NOT point out.🙄🤦🏻♂️
📚"We think we're born and are going to die, but that's an illusion. I was thirteen when my father died. I thought he'd disappeared, but he didn't. My father is still here. When I look deeply, I can see him in my consciousnes, in my life today. We human beings are magnificent. We cannot die or even disappear.”
👉WHAT?! What kind of sense does this make? This is just weird. ‘I can see him in my consciousness’?! What the hell.. 🤦🏻♂️
📚“In war, mass shootings, suicide, and every kind of violence, everyone loses. If you kill yourself, you are killing me too. Please don't kill me. I want to live and I want to love. If we can learn to love ourselves and each other, the whole world wins. To love means to live.”
👉What kind of crap is this? “If YOu KiLL YOuRsElF You’RE KILLiNg ME ToO. plEAse DOn’T kiLL mE!” 🥺😭👉👈🥺
Oh, that’s REALLY gonna stop someone from shooting up a school or cashier (NOT)! Are you serious? This book is ridiculous.
📚“When you walk into a room and think it’s the same room you were in last week, you're not perceiving correctly. You've never seen this room before. It's different from the one you were in last week. If you see me and think I'm the person I was last week, you're not seeing me either. I'm not the same. There's no repetition in life. If you're truly present and really experiencing something, you'll recognize that it's new, different from anything you've seen or heard before. If it feels the same, IT’S NOT REAL. It's a replica of something you experienced earlier, a product of your mind, NOT REALITY.”
👉This whole paragraph is just BS. A person can work in an office cubicle for 12 years… and you know damn well it’s the same cubicle it was 12 years ago. This guy is trying really hard to be trendy, but his analogies just aren’t good. It’s just the way he writes that’s just trash. It’s like reading a mom’s blog.. trying to be relevant and give advice, even though no one wants it from her.
📚“If you tell me that you and your partner don't love each other anymore and I nod in agreement, I'm not listening. I'm just a recording device repeating what you said, and I need to listen again.”
👉WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Then WHY did you NOD???? This book is so crap. 😂 😛
📚“If you sit with your spine upright, there's more space in your chest to breathe easily. Breathe in and out consciously, and come back to yourself, finding your stability. Sitting straight like this, you can listen to yourself and others for hours without losing your sovereignty. You can distinguish what's happening now from what happened in the past-to you and perhaps to your ancestors who are inviting you to transform the family trauma.”
👉Welp, you heard him, folks! Sit up straight and all your problems will disappear! It’s just because you needed more room in your lungs to breathe! (NOT!!)
This is so dumb, I’m sorry. I’ve listened to yogis and other wise people who practice Love and meditation, and they have not said dumb crap like this. 🤷🏻♂️
📚“A photo of New York taken a hundred years ago is different from one taken today, and neither is the real city. Both are mere representations. You, too, are different from yesterday, and so is everyone and everything. Unless you see your loved ones now, in the present moment, as they actually are, you won't know happiness.”
👉So you’re telling me that a photo of New York is not the real city of New York? What kind of crap is that? I understand that the author is trying to be deep and have people see more than face value, but this statement is ridiculous.
And then he talks about seeing your loved ones in the present moment or you won’t know true happiness… ugh, this is so weird. So is he saying I can’t look at a picture of my grandson or my nieces, because those are just dumb “representations“? 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ This whole book feels contradicting and weird. It’s also Judgey and preachy..
📚“We see a rope and think it's a snake. Someone might hear a car backfire; a veteran might think they're back in combat, while another person might reexperience the feelings of growing up in a violent household. Believing that suffering will follow these triggers, we miss things of value. The same mechanism that helps us avoid harm can also cause us to avoid happiness. When we run away from perceived dangers, or from our
feelings about them, we also avoid joy and pleasure. We need to treat suffering as neutral. Most difficulties are best addressed when we don't run away.”
👉I have one word: WHAT?!?!
‘Believing that suffering will follow these triggers, we miss things of value’….
So, i’m supposed to just throw away all my memories of trauma just so I can hear a car backfire or see a rope? You can see where this guy’s theory is just crappy. Sure, you should live every single day and try to enjoy everything, even the small things, but you’re ALLOWED TO BE SCARED OR FREAK OUT! No one can just turn off their triggers like that…
Yeah, hearing a car backfire and that being my trigger is REALLY MAKING ME MISS OUT ON JOY (NOT!!!) 🤦🏻♂️ 🤦🏻♂️ 🤦🏻♂️
‘Most difficulties are best addressed when we don't run away’…. So I’m supposed to sit still when I’m being verbally abused, hurt by something, or if I’m in a dangerous situation…? Just so I can say later that I didn’t run away? Where’s the logic?
📚“If you want to cool the flames of anger-to defuse the bomb in our heart- the first step is to recognize anger as anger, neither good nor bad. There's no need to suppress or transform it.”
👉Anger isn’t good OR bad? Give me a break.
📚“[I] shared everything. If I had candy, I would offer some to my classmates. When I arrived in Holland, I saw a boy eating a chocolate bar all alone. It was my first taste of culture shock. Later I realized it wasn't about Dutch culture, it was about modern economics. People have forgotten the joy of sharing. When everyone has more than enough, sharing gets lost in the shufle.”
👉Dude sees a kid enjoying a candy bar and has culture shock? Give. Me. A. Break.
No, if he noticed a lot of people not sharing, ON PURPOSE, I can understand that. But he sees ONE child eating a chocolate bar and is offended that he didn’t share with him? How about, the kid WAS ALONE, not with a family member or friend…. He’s not gonna run around with his snack and make sure to share it with random people! 🤦🏻♂️
There is only one part of this book that caught my attention:
“Suffering is evidence
of your capacity to love”
That might sometimes be true.
Especially like when you love people or animals a lot and they pass away. But this quote doesn’t apply to all suffering.
Why did I continue to read this even though I didn’t like it? I really don’t know. I have an issue sometimes where I have to finish a book I started. Since this book was extremely short, I thought “what the hell” and just finished it.
I would never read this again or recommend it to anyone.
I know this review might sound really hateful, but it’s simply my opinion and I really am all about spreading love. This guy’s writing and ideas are just not my jam.
If you want to read a cool book about life, happiness, and life's trials (that does NOT have a depressing theme), please read Rules for a Knight - Ethan Hawke!
It's a short read like this book is!
I disliked this entire book. I can’t see this as being beneficial, much less a good suicide prevention read.. 🤷🏻♂️ this book is horrible and depressing.
I didn’t care for the whole chapter on gun control. gun control won’t solve everything. Quit preaching it like it will.
Here are some quotes direct from the book that I just couldn’t NOT point out.🙄🤦🏻♂️
📚"We think we're born and are going to die, but that's an illusion. I was thirteen when my father died. I thought he'd disappeared, but he didn't. My father is still here. When I look deeply, I can see him in my consciousnes, in my life today. We human beings are magnificent. We cannot die or even disappear.”
👉WHAT?! What kind of sense does this make? This is just weird. ‘I can see him in my consciousness’?! What the hell.. 🤦🏻♂️
📚“In war, mass shootings, suicide, and every kind of violence, everyone loses. If you kill yourself, you are killing me too. Please don't kill me. I want to live and I want to love. If we can learn to love ourselves and each other, the whole world wins. To love means to live.”
👉What kind of crap is this? “If YOu KiLL YOuRsElF You’RE KILLiNg ME ToO. plEAse DOn’T kiLL mE!” 🥺😭👉👈🥺
Oh, that’s REALLY gonna stop someone from shooting up a school or cashier (NOT)! Are you serious? This book is ridiculous.
📚“When you walk into a room and think it’s the same room you were in last week, you're not perceiving correctly. You've never seen this room before. It's different from the one you were in last week. If you see me and think I'm the person I was last week, you're not seeing me either. I'm not the same. There's no repetition in life. If you're truly present and really experiencing something, you'll recognize that it's new, different from anything you've seen or heard before. If it feels the same, IT’S NOT REAL. It's a replica of something you experienced earlier, a product of your mind, NOT REALITY.”
👉This whole paragraph is just BS. A person can work in an office cubicle for 12 years… and you know damn well it’s the same cubicle it was 12 years ago. This guy is trying really hard to be trendy, but his analogies just aren’t good. It’s just the way he writes that’s just trash. It’s like reading a mom’s blog.. trying to be relevant and give advice, even though no one wants it from her.
📚“If you tell me that you and your partner don't love each other anymore and I nod in agreement, I'm not listening. I'm just a recording device repeating what you said, and I need to listen again.”
👉WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Then WHY did you NOD???? This book is so crap. 😂 😛
📚“If you sit with your spine upright, there's more space in your chest to breathe easily. Breathe in and out consciously, and come back to yourself, finding your stability. Sitting straight like this, you can listen to yourself and others for hours without losing your sovereignty. You can distinguish what's happening now from what happened in the past-to you and perhaps to your ancestors who are inviting you to transform the family trauma.”
👉Welp, you heard him, folks! Sit up straight and all your problems will disappear! It’s just because you needed more room in your lungs to breathe! (NOT!!)
This is so dumb, I’m sorry. I’ve listened to yogis and other wise people who practice Love and meditation, and they have not said dumb crap like this. 🤷🏻♂️
📚“A photo of New York taken a hundred years ago is different from one taken today, and neither is the real city. Both are mere representations. You, too, are different from yesterday, and so is everyone and everything. Unless you see your loved ones now, in the present moment, as they actually are, you won't know happiness.”
👉So you’re telling me that a photo of New York is not the real city of New York? What kind of crap is that? I understand that the author is trying to be deep and have people see more than face value, but this statement is ridiculous.
And then he talks about seeing your loved ones in the present moment or you won’t know true happiness… ugh, this is so weird. So is he saying I can’t look at a picture of my grandson or my nieces, because those are just dumb “representations“? 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ This whole book feels contradicting and weird. It’s also Judgey and preachy..
📚“We see a rope and think it's a snake. Someone might hear a car backfire; a veteran might think they're back in combat, while another person might reexperience the feelings of growing up in a violent household. Believing that suffering will follow these triggers, we miss things of value. The same mechanism that helps us avoid harm can also cause us to avoid happiness. When we run away from perceived dangers, or from our
feelings about them, we also avoid joy and pleasure. We need to treat suffering as neutral. Most difficulties are best addressed when we don't run away.”
👉I have one word: WHAT?!?!
‘Believing that suffering will follow these triggers, we miss things of value’….
So, i’m supposed to just throw away all my memories of trauma just so I can hear a car backfire or see a rope? You can see where this guy’s theory is just crappy. Sure, you should live every single day and try to enjoy everything, even the small things, but you’re ALLOWED TO BE SCARED OR FREAK OUT! No one can just turn off their triggers like that…
Yeah, hearing a car backfire and that being my trigger is REALLY MAKING ME MISS OUT ON JOY (NOT!!!) 🤦🏻♂️ 🤦🏻♂️ 🤦🏻♂️
‘Most difficulties are best addressed when we don't run away’…. So I’m supposed to sit still when I’m being verbally abused, hurt by something, or if I’m in a dangerous situation…? Just so I can say later that I didn’t run away? Where’s the logic?
📚“If you want to cool the flames of anger-to defuse the bomb in our heart- the first step is to recognize anger as anger, neither good nor bad. There's no need to suppress or transform it.”
👉Anger isn’t good OR bad? Give me a break.
📚“[I] shared everything. If I had candy, I would offer some to my classmates. When I arrived in Holland, I saw a boy eating a chocolate bar all alone. It was my first taste of culture shock. Later I realized it wasn't about Dutch culture, it was about modern economics. People have forgotten the joy of sharing. When everyone has more than enough, sharing gets lost in the shufle.”
👉Dude sees a kid enjoying a candy bar and has culture shock? Give. Me. A. Break.
No, if he noticed a lot of people not sharing, ON PURPOSE, I can understand that. But he sees ONE child eating a chocolate bar and is offended that he didn’t share with him? How about, the kid WAS ALONE, not with a family member or friend…. He’s not gonna run around with his snack and make sure to share it with random people! 🤦🏻♂️
There is only one part of this book that caught my attention:
“Suffering is evidence
of your capacity to love”
That might sometimes be true.
Especially like when you love people or animals a lot and they pass away. But this quote doesn’t apply to all suffering.
Why did I continue to read this even though I didn’t like it? I really don’t know. I have an issue sometimes where I have to finish a book I started. Since this book was extremely short, I thought “what the hell” and just finished it.
I would never read this again or recommend it to anyone.
I know this review might sound really hateful, but it’s simply my opinion and I really am all about spreading love. This guy’s writing and ideas are just not my jam.
If you want to read a cool book about life, happiness, and life's trials (that does NOT have a depressing theme), please read Rules for a Knight - Ethan Hawke!
It's a short read like this book is!
January 15, 2024
I imagine for some this book would really help. Its a bit frilly for me though...the cynic in me can't get on board.
January 5, 2023
As I am writing this review I understand that I don't even remember opening this book. Funnily enough, I've actually read it and finished it. Nope
November 26, 2020
This was a refreshing book filled with nuggets of wisdom. I was most impressed by the simple chapters and concise manner the book was put together. It truly is a great rainy day afternoon kind of book, but not one I will be returning to again and again.
February 5, 2022
He is writing love letters for his readers. Reminding us to be kind, thankful and stay chill. Its an okay-la short reading, no story line at all..
February 4, 2024
My favorite quotes:
“But violence also destroys the shooter first, then their loved ones. Shooters always suffer along with the dead and wounded. If you shoot, you hit you. You hit and destroy whatever you might have ever loved in this life, whatever matters most.”
“We don’t need to be afraid to suffer. Suffering is a part of life. We need to learn to be vulnerable, to tolerate not being armored.”
“What do you really want? What do you really want to end? Your thoughts bombarding you 24/7? Your loneliness? Your despair? What do you think happens when life ends? Do you think you won’t feel anything, that you won’t suffer anymore?”
“We suffer and we love, but we cannot die. Death is not the end of life. Life and death inter-are. Whether we believe in an afterlife or in nothing at all after life, death is never real. Look at your life deeply—your history and your future. See the afterlife and the “before life” right in the present moment. Life flows from before through now into the future. Birth and death are the same river.”
“If you’re suffering, it means you have a heart.”
“ Love is a profound connection—to others, and to ourselves. In love, we are more than ourselves; we also become the person we love.”
“Embraced by a deep quiet, I fell in love with the sky. “Have you always been there?” I asked, and the spirit of the sky replied, “Yes, I’ve been calling you, and now, at long last, you hear me. You see me.”
“Reality has changed—it’s always changing—and we’re living in a photocopy.”
“If our suffering repeats, if our trauma is triggered again and again, it’s a copy, not the original. Often our pain isn’t even ours; it’s our father’s or mother’s or the pain of an ancestor.”
“Love brings relief, like cold water over burning skin.”
“Listening is witnessing, not judging. ”
“When someone really listens to us, it shines light beneath the words and frees us from our notions. Being listened to penetrates our heart and resets our perspective.”
“We get triggered. What we think we hear translates into a perception triggered by what we heard, but actually based on our personal or cultural history.”
“The photo of happiness in your mind is a representation. ”
“Our idea of happiness is never real happiness. It’s usually someone else’s idea that we’ve adopted uncritically. We’re often trapped by ideas and wouldn’t know reality if it walked into us.”
“After someone dies, we still love them, and it feels as though they’re still there. A person can disappear, but love does not.”
“When you’re able to step back and see “This is suffering,” it’s a moment of awakening. Don’t underestimate its importance. Awakening—enlightenment—is to know suffering as suffering, and not try to sugarcoat or deny it. You’re angry, and you know “This is suffering.” ”
“But violence also destroys the shooter first, then their loved ones. Shooters always suffer along with the dead and wounded. If you shoot, you hit you. You hit and destroy whatever you might have ever loved in this life, whatever matters most.”
“We don’t need to be afraid to suffer. Suffering is a part of life. We need to learn to be vulnerable, to tolerate not being armored.”
“What do you really want? What do you really want to end? Your thoughts bombarding you 24/7? Your loneliness? Your despair? What do you think happens when life ends? Do you think you won’t feel anything, that you won’t suffer anymore?”
“We suffer and we love, but we cannot die. Death is not the end of life. Life and death inter-are. Whether we believe in an afterlife or in nothing at all after life, death is never real. Look at your life deeply—your history and your future. See the afterlife and the “before life” right in the present moment. Life flows from before through now into the future. Birth and death are the same river.”
“If you’re suffering, it means you have a heart.”
“ Love is a profound connection—to others, and to ourselves. In love, we are more than ourselves; we also become the person we love.”
“Embraced by a deep quiet, I fell in love with the sky. “Have you always been there?” I asked, and the spirit of the sky replied, “Yes, I’ve been calling you, and now, at long last, you hear me. You see me.”
“Reality has changed—it’s always changing—and we’re living in a photocopy.”
“If our suffering repeats, if our trauma is triggered again and again, it’s a copy, not the original. Often our pain isn’t even ours; it’s our father’s or mother’s or the pain of an ancestor.”
“Love brings relief, like cold water over burning skin.”
“Listening is witnessing, not judging. ”
“When someone really listens to us, it shines light beneath the words and frees us from our notions. Being listened to penetrates our heart and resets our perspective.”
“We get triggered. What we think we hear translates into a perception triggered by what we heard, but actually based on our personal or cultural history.”
“The photo of happiness in your mind is a representation. ”
“Our idea of happiness is never real happiness. It’s usually someone else’s idea that we’ve adopted uncritically. We’re often trapped by ideas and wouldn’t know reality if it walked into us.”
“After someone dies, we still love them, and it feels as though they’re still there. A person can disappear, but love does not.”
“When you’re able to step back and see “This is suffering,” it’s a moment of awakening. Don’t underestimate its importance. Awakening—enlightenment—is to know suffering as suffering, and not try to sugarcoat or deny it. You’re angry, and you know “This is suffering.” ”
June 4, 2021
This was a beautiful book written with the same striking insight as Pema Chodron’s writings, but in a way as if I have never read these principles before.
Written in short prose, this is an excellent way to start your day with a little reflection and contemplation.
Most impactful from the book are three key concepts:
1. It’s not what you’re doing that makes you tired, but how you go about doing it. If you approach everything as an opportunity for connection, you will not be so tired.
2. If you love someone, you can allow them to suffer.
3. Anger, like fire, requires the right conditions and fuel. Once you change the conditions and stop fueling it, your anger will burn out or not ignite.
For all of us who feel the grief of the pandemic, who struggle with the prevalent sense of mortality, and may have sunk into despair over the last 1 1/2 years- find solace in the thoughts written here.
Written in short prose, this is an excellent way to start your day with a little reflection and contemplation.
Most impactful from the book are three key concepts:
1. It’s not what you’re doing that makes you tired, but how you go about doing it. If you approach everything as an opportunity for connection, you will not be so tired.
2. If you love someone, you can allow them to suffer.
3. Anger, like fire, requires the right conditions and fuel. Once you change the conditions and stop fueling it, your anger will burn out or not ignite.
For all of us who feel the grief of the pandemic, who struggle with the prevalent sense of mortality, and may have sunk into despair over the last 1 1/2 years- find solace in the thoughts written here.
February 19, 2022
Not a review just me keeping track
This book was my blind date with a book. I have feelings about it but not too much. It is sweet and easy to read but it doesn't go too deep on the things the author mentions.
It start by talking about peace and the people who commit mass shooting but then it rarely touches the topic again... and it makes it seem like the type of people it looks to reach are the people who hold hatred and anger. But let's be honest, a person who is thinking about killing others wont be swayed by this book and would not look to read this type of books.
Anyways, all in all it felt to me more like a random rant... not a pissed of rant but a love rant.
There were a few things in there that I was like "???" I did, however, like his take on anger.
Other than that the book was nice
This book was my blind date with a book. I have feelings about it but not too much. It is sweet and easy to read but it doesn't go too deep on the things the author mentions.
It start by talking about peace and the people who commit mass shooting but then it rarely touches the topic again... and it makes it seem like the type of people it looks to reach are the people who hold hatred and anger. But let's be honest, a person who is thinking about killing others wont be swayed by this book and would not look to read this type of books.
Anyways, all in all it felt to me more like a random rant... not a pissed of rant but a love rant.
There were a few things in there that I was like "???" I did, however, like his take on anger.
Other than that the book was nice
February 25, 2021
This book is formatted in very brief chapters that can be read quickly. It's the kind of book where one would ideally read a chapter a day to give each chapter adequate time for reflection. It addresses anti-violence, interconnectedness, mindfulness and related topics.
I think most people, whether new to mindfulness or not, will find something in it to carry with them. Some of the chapters seemed fairly basic for those who have already done much reading in mindfulness, but then other chapters presented familiar concepts in unique ways.
I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an impartial review.
I think most people, whether new to mindfulness or not, will find something in it to carry with them. Some of the chapters seemed fairly basic for those who have already done much reading in mindfulness, but then other chapters presented familiar concepts in unique ways.
I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an impartial review.
April 3, 2021
I actually ended up really enjoying and appreciating this book, despite a rocky beginning.
I’m about as anti-gun as they come, but even I found the intro to be somewhat heavy-handed and off-putting. It felt like a bit of a bait and switch- definitely wasn’t what I was expecting. But I’m really glad I stuck with it, and I can see the connection between the intro and the rest of the book...I just don’t think it was the strongest/best route.
Overall it was an encouraging read and challenged me in a few areas. I didn’t really connect with some of the heavier a Buddhist concepts/parts, but I enjoyed the stretch this book provided!
I’m about as anti-gun as they come, but even I found the intro to be somewhat heavy-handed and off-putting. It felt like a bit of a bait and switch- definitely wasn’t what I was expecting. But I’m really glad I stuck with it, and I can see the connection between the intro and the rest of the book...I just don’t think it was the strongest/best route.
Overall it was an encouraging read and challenged me in a few areas. I didn’t really connect with some of the heavier a Buddhist concepts/parts, but I enjoyed the stretch this book provided!
dnfs
December 24, 2021DNF @ pg. 53
I chose to DNF NOT because this book is of poor writing, quality, or anything else. In fact, it's an incredibly wonderful book—one that I would absolutely recommend for someone grieving or struggling with suicidal ideation, or to someone looking to give a loving and healing gift. It's a kind and short book that I, thankfully, don't really have need of at the moment. Perhaps I will revisit later in life if times of distress arise, but for now, I am blissfully well emotionally.
I chose to DNF NOT because this book is of poor writing, quality, or anything else. In fact, it's an incredibly wonderful book—one that I would absolutely recommend for someone grieving or struggling with suicidal ideation, or to someone looking to give a loving and healing gift. It's a kind and short book that I, thankfully, don't really have need of at the moment. Perhaps I will revisit later in life if times of distress arise, but for now, I am blissfully well emotionally.
July 17, 2025
A book I hope to revisit again and again. Wait: A Love Letter to Those in Despair has given me fresh perspective on my own mental illness (OCD) as well as tools to help my mind filter through the muck. This was such an enlightening read, I will be recommending it to everyone in my life. I have enjoyed a lot of different books that cover Buddhist principles but this is the first book where I really connected putting those principles into practice in a meaningful way. The peace of mind I am constantly craving is in these pages.
October 5, 2021
This book was deep and challenging at times. Some of this content feels out of reach for me right now. I have not yet reached the point of wisdom and acceptance that the author has.
I put this book down with a lot of highlights and tabs that I will be sure to revisit. We are “worthy of holding love in our hearts”. We can “defuse the bombs” in them. We “are the deep blue ocean, not the crashing wave”
I put this book down with a lot of highlights and tabs that I will be sure to revisit. We are “worthy of holding love in our hearts”. We can “defuse the bombs” in them. We “are the deep blue ocean, not the crashing wave”
November 17, 2021
This book will challenge so many beliefs and lifestyles and conditioning especially those of us that live in the west. It’s also filled with so many nuggets of truthisms and Buddhism teachings to ponder. I didn’t necessarily agree with everything written but I did take away a lot from this book and my copy is filled with little notes and thoughts.
August 26, 2022
This was a pleasant and easy read, very simply written to remind people the worth of living. I really enjoyed part two: Listen, it gives really good advice that a lot of therapy books miss. This is a perfect read for when the world just seems overbearingly negative and you just wanted to be reminded how to breath and bring joy back into your life.
January 8, 2023
Not a person in despair— but was looking for a book with good wisdom and advice from a gentle heart. The author definitely delivered, as he is a kind and accepting writer. I agreed with a lot of things in it, but other things not as much. However, the author’s emphasis on loving our world is such an important message today!
January 3, 2026
its cute. i think this could be impactful to certain people at certain times of their lives. reading it now though, it feels like mostly platitudes.
there was an interesting point that when listening to people, you shouldn't impose your opinions of what they're saying, since that runs the risk of affirming things that we may not know to be true.
there was an interesting point that when listening to people, you shouldn't impose your opinions of what they're saying, since that runs the risk of affirming things that we may not know to be true.
Read
March 23, 2021At first I was off-put by the first words diving right into violence and the simplicity of the writing. It's a short and hard-hitting read and I ended up really enjoying it. There is lots of Buddhist wisdom gently threaded through and perspective reframes to shake you up.
September 22, 2022
Like a gentle hug, a kind word from a stranger, and a hot cup of healing tea brewed with care. Simple and with a rather heavy handed connection to gun violence in the intro and conclusion, but otherwise mindful and comforting.
October 3, 2022
This book felt like a warm hug from a friend, a fireplace warmth on a cold winter night. It was a brillant love letter for those who find it hard to navigate through life and relationships, and those who want to improve themselves.
I felt seen and understood with this book.
I felt seen and understood with this book.
March 28, 2021
Touching & makes you think.
May 9, 2021
This is a lovely narrative. I recommend it for those doing their best to live in the world with compassion and purpose.
May 12, 2021
Very quick read. This book was kind of calming for me. It really makes you understand that your actions have consequences and while you're hurting someone you're also hurting yourself.
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