Fe: A Traumatized Son’s Graphic Memoir

by Bren Bataclan

When people ask Bren Bataclan to describe the tumultuous life with his mom Fe, they often ask, "How did you turn out so nice?" Bataclan's memoir illustrates many volatile, often hilarious experiences with a tantrum-prone, narcissistic, hoarder mom. Yet Fe is fundamentally a loving and gay-supportive, though often challenging, Filipina mother. Bataclan shares a journey tracing his family's immigration from the Philippines to the United States. You will remember his bittersweet story forever, as he moves from coping to thriving, with frustration, trauma, compassion, and eventual acceptance.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, LGBT, Religion, Psychology, Autobiography, Nonfiction

116 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2020

Reviews

[Jon Nakapalau · Rating 5 out of 5]

A loving memoir of a son who had to navigate the currents of stress his mother let flow over the entire family after she lost control of her life. Bren Bataclan does a fantastic job of telling how he survived the love/hate relationship he had to deal with everytime he interacted with his mother (Fe). Issues include hording, emotional manipulation and the need to control all aspects of family interaction.

[Desiree Finau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never read a book that I could relate to more than this one. I laughed, I cried, but most of all.... I identified. I literally could not put this book down. From the traumatizing yet funny moments to the beautifully illustrated and extremely detailed pages.... the entire experience is something for all the senses if you allow yourself to be put in each situation (which I tend to do). Even smells! LOL! I loved reading about the roller coaster ride between this son and mother tumultuous relationship! Through the cringing moments, the moments that made your sides hurt from laughing so hard and the moments that pulled at your heart strings and made you cry.... there is one thing that rings true through ….. and that is LOVE. The kind of imperfect love that is PERFECT for each and every one of us.
THANK YOU FE! Thank you for giving your children this crazy ride called life.... for they would not have turned out to be who they are and as talented as they are without every step in this journey. Thank you Bren for sharing your story that so many can and will identify with. Thank you for capturing your unique love with your mom ... forever in time. Beautiful tribute and will read again.

[Robert Parlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a sweet, funny book! Ordinarily, I don't read graphic novels, but A.J. Dungo's In Waves was so wonderful, and Bren Bataclan's debut book is both heart-breaking and heart-warming. The illustrations are delightful, introducing the reader to fascinating elements of Filipino culture, and the story deals movingly with issues of immigration, coming out, and a turbulent but loving mother-s0n relationship. You won't want to put it down, but you might pick it up again to read an especially amusing part, like the stories of Augusten Burroughs and David Sedaris. I highly recommend it!

[Julian Bataclan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a very good read! I obviously have a personal connection to this book being the nephew of Bren and the only grandson of Fe. But in an attempt to look at it objectively, I do think this book is very relatable when it comes to relationships between immigrant parents and their American children/grandchildren. My uncle was very honest and genuine in presenting my grandmother’s story as well as his own while using his signature art and visuals. I’ll recommend this book to anyone!

[Leeann Lamsa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a brave and compelling story of acceptance and love: a mother's love and acceptance of her son; his love of a complicated mother with mental health issues, how they shaped his life, and the challenges they created. His tale is told with humor and wonderfully descriptive yet simplified artwork.
"Fe" is intertwined with an immigrant story as well, with funny accounts of the cultural differences existing in different aspects of his family life, and how they are celebrated as they join together creating a joyful new family encompassing diverse members from very different backgrounds.
This is sweet, funny, and tender book, and a great read!

[Patty Enrado · Rating 4 out of 5]

With Bren Bataclan's distinctive and colorful illustrations, we meet his mother, Fe, and her transition from her comfortable life in the Philippines to a new yet disorienting life as an immigrant in America. I found myself laughing out loud at her behavior, her explanations for her wacky behavior, and find this to be so true of many Filipino mothers. She epitomizes the Filipino immigrant mother, and yet she is uniquely Fe. At the same time, Bren captures the poignancy of his mother's situation and his deep devotion and love for her, and her love for him. The accompanying photos complemented the illustrations.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for anyone who has had a challenging relationship with a parent. A wonderful mix of truth and tenderness, Bren Bataclan captures the mix of humor and pathos perfectly, in sharing his family's story. There is so much packed in this multilayered graphic memoir, every detail down to Bren's custom font which is his own writing, makes it a deeply personal and special book. Looking forward to many more books from this talented author!

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks for such a great book. Your memoir is very honest. I was laughing and crying at the same time. While there are many aspects involving cultural conflicts, I found I could relate to FE. Thank you for including a glossary of terms. The second time I read the book it was even funnier. I highly recommend the book.

[Raymond McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book speaks to far more than Filipino culture. I am first generation on my mother's side. The last book that I felt resonated this way with me was House of Sand and Fog. It leaves me wondering how privileges and limitations formed our mothers' generation, common factors across different countries. I wonder how being beautiful amplified those privileges. Therefore, how much more traumatic the shock to such mothers and fathers when they migrate to the U.S., a loss of socioeconomic status in exchange for other greater opportunities, if not for themselves, then for their children. But, at what cost? Bren Bataclan touches upon these topics in a concise and moving way that is tragicomic. Reading these childhood experiences and connecting them with my own was healing. The memoir's vulnerability promotes empathy. What stands the test of time and its ups and downs is enduring love - a son for his mother and a mother for her son, the stickiness of family ties that are tested and bind through it all. Difficult times are balanced by surprises. Bren Bataclan conveys all of this and more with incredible brevity. His talent in using the graphic novel/comic book type style is amazing. It is an easy read, but like poetry, each word doing so much work, each sentence conveying entire moments reinforced by pictures with so many little details that give you a sense of being there in the time and place with him. It is not so much a retelling as a reliving of his life through a series of moments. All I can do is be honored and grateful that he created this work for all of us to share. I think it is an incredibly unique book and belongs on everyone's bookshelf somewhere between autobiographies, memoirs, comics, and psychology and cultural anthropology texts. I would suggest it as required reading that will help promote greater cross-cultural and cross-generational sensitivity and dialogue. It was entertaining and educational and I highly recommend it. Our whole family enjoyed it.

[Alfie Numeric · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Fe: Traumatized Son's Graphic Memoir" is a touching, humorous look into the family life of a son and his Filipina mom with unchecked mental illness. As a Filipino American, I see that seeking health for mental illnesses is not widely accepted as of yet. There are truths to the stereotypes of the eccentric family member where we just accept and often give multiples passes on their behaviors, even when that behavior is bad.

This graphic novel is a memoir of a son's mother in which he has a complicated but loving relationship with. Reading this graphic novel, even though it's short, has pulled a range of emotions in me.

Such a beautiful and candid way to pay homage to a woman he loves but is still trying to figure out even after death.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fe is a genuinely funny and sincere memoir in a visually captivating format. I loved the blend of original art and family photos that perfectly accompany the many amusing anecdotes detailing the quirks of our star Fe. As the start of the book suggests, "How did Bren turnout so nice?"

It can easily be enjoyed by anyone but will be a special treat for those of us lucky enough to know Bren.

[Marla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and moving tribute (and therapy) of a son’s relationship with his mother. Drawn by the talented artist and storyteller this biographical narrative is shared with unconditional love and honesty. Go call your Mother- tell her you love her!

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyable read!! It was funny...moving...real...with a very personal insight on Filipino culture and family life. The moment I picked the book up, I could not put it down! And the very best part? I know the author and his parents 🙂

My daughter is now reading it....and loving it. 🥰

[Ellie Mccormack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t say enough good things about this remarkable book. The author has captured a story (about his family, and more specifically his mother) that can’t help but resonate with anyone who reads it. Family business is tricky business but with grace and creativity, Bataclan tells the intimate story of his mother Fe, who in middle age finds herself moving with her family from the Philippines to California. It’s a significant adjustment for Fe, and the author, the youngest in the family and the last to leave the nest, is left to negotiate a life with his mother in a country they don’t know and one that Fe finds challenging at the best of times. Bataclan’s relationship with his mother is complicated, but through carefully crafted dialogue and his use of compelling graphics, he masterfully tells the story of navigating a new life in a new country with Fe, a woman he presents as eccentric and intense, but also caring and loving. It is an honest and heartfelt portrait of a family, and the often-complicated relationship between a child and a parent. As others have said before me, this book will make you laugh and it will move you to tears. A good and memorable read all around.

[Kevin Cooper]

Quite often we ask ourselves, "Are we doing enough for our children?" Rarely do we wonder if we are doing enough for the people who raised us. In this book you get to see how Bren navigates through this journey with the help of an incredible family and loving husband. When you are a child you rely on your parents to take care of you. In time, roles are reversed and this to me is the real focus of his book. Having to balance ones own life while taking care of his mother and still keeping everyone happy is no easy task. It is not a smooth road to go down and through Bren's retelling of his journey you get to see a little of yourself on the pages of his work. The art work is incredible as well and his use of actual photographs of his mother really brings each page to life. You get a real sense of the feelings that were felt through each section of the book. It is a story that is filled with empathy, something that seems to be forgotten in the world these days. I think this is a book that should be shared and talked about because it shows that no matter how different you think your own family is, love and empathy will get you through anything.

[Amy Magee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished Fe and enjoyed it so much! Bren Bataclan’s book is a warm memoir that dives into his account of a rather complicated mom-son relationship and is filled with such emotion that I was laughing on some pages while crying on others!

The graphic novel tells the true story of Bataclan’s family journey of immigration, his coming out and all his mom’s wacky ways of loving and supporting him. This brave and honest recollection of his mother, Fe, is told with such loved-fill respect (and humor) that with even the more complicated mini-situations that arise in the story, I could feel the true connection to Fe’s true desire to provide what she felt was best for her family and a son’s love for his mom.

The illustrations are beautiful, and the story is so pure and honest. There is so much love between the front and back cover of this book!!!

[Nicole Sierra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rank Fe as one of my favorite books. It gave just the right amount of detail and was easy to read. Being a mother of 3 little ones, I don’t have much time to read books but I was not able to put this one down. It’s a funny feel good book which includes true life experiences that most of us can relate to. Families are beautiful, but like the saying goes...a day without drama is a day wasted :) Reading this book helps me relate to other Filipino kids upbringings and experiences. It’s a great read since most of us can relate to our parents being hoarders. Bren Bataclan is an amazing author and graphic artist. I follow him everywhere and have also ordered his paintings. His art continues to bless our house and put smiles to our faces each day. Can’t wait for the next book! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

[Mary Denise Montenegro · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years, Bren and I would joke around about how our respective mothers were a bit much. It was always said in passing, and he’d say “we have to trade stories one of these days!”, only we never ended up doing so.

Then, he started posting sneak peeks of his graphic memoir on his social media channels, and I started waiting for it with baited breath.

I binge read the entire thing the same day it arrived, and it was well worth the wait. It was like all the “stories to trade” came up all at once in the form of a book! 100% would recommend to others.

[Belle Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't put my Mom's graphic memoir down. I finished reading it the day I received the book. I was in awe on how my brother, Bren Bataclan captured his relationship with our mother. This book was full of emotions and at the end made me miss my Mom even more.

Congratulations Bren and thank you for sharing this book to us. It is worth reading. It will make you realize that whatever relationship you have with your mother, it is the one you have to cherish forever.

She was truly our Queen Mother.

Please get your copy. You will definitely love this book!

[Norma Tam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew I would love this graphic memoir from just the cover and title. And the content was even better than I imagined! As a fellow immigrant from the 80's as a teenager, there were SO MANY feelings and details that resonated with me. And Bren was able to artfully illustrate some very intense human emotion, journey through such thoughtful, humorous and loving lens. I laughed and cried at the same time. It made me revisit many buried childhood emotions with hopes and renewed perspective. I highly recommend this book and got several of them to give out as gifts too!

[Kristine Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read. It is very relatable and the illustrations are very engaging.

I like how Bren shared the highs and lows of his experiences with his mom in a light but very emphatic way.

Bren also gave a good insight of the Filipino culture. One of which is the value of close family ties; that even in a foreign country, they never lose touch of each other and that you can always count on to your family.

[Jess Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful, tender portrait of a complicated, difficult parent by a loving, kind son. The illustrations are so bright and evocative, and I love the way Bren has distinguished his mother artistically from the rest of the characters. There are some laugh-out-loud scenes but also some truly poignant and wrenching ones. The book does a great job of speaking specifically to the intricacies of this family as a window while holding a mirror up to all of our complicated, messy families.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's lots to love in this graphic novel memoir! I love his story about his mother who is challenging to say the least, with her tantrums and hoarding. But he doesn't just catalog the problems they had, he also celebrates the love she had for him and his family. The illustrations are in his signature style with the fun addition of photos of his mom. Another great feature is the Filipino glossary at the back. Ang galing!

[Jan B. Cruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bren Bataclan's graphics serve to lighten up the painful theme of growing up with parents with mental health issues. He never presented his mother in a negative light. What we have is a likable and relatable human who is a product of her own circumstances, as we all are. This book gives you joy, and an abundance of hope, that with love, tolerance, and understanding, something sparkling can come out of a challenging situation.

[Nicole Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bren Bataclan's graphic memoir is delightful! Fe is a character I love, laugh at, pity, adore, get annoyed with, and love again, which shows the complex and special relationship between a mother and a child. The book illustrates the struggle of a Filipino immigrant mother and how a family adapts in a new country while maintaining customs and tradition. Bataclan's illustrations and his own font makes the book even more unique. This is a must-read!

[Belle Santiago · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly loved this memoir! I laughed out loud and cried. As a mother of two boys I can relate to the mother son relationship of movie nights and an imperfect yet unbreakable bond. A true story of family, Love, forgiveness, and love of a mother and son. Bren has captured his essence of love and family in this book. Loved it!

[Reina P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that will make you laugh and will also make you cry. It is a very well written story about a son’s struggles with his relationship with his mom yet clearly portrayed his unconditional love for her and his entire family. The graphics are so impressive from cover to cover and nobody can do it better than this author. A definite must read and I give it two thumbs up!

[Bernie Bataclan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is Funny, Sad and Real.

Even though I know the entire story I still read it in one seating to remind me how we grew up and how we turned out to be.

Thank you Bren for sharing this to the world, your book and illustrations makes us realize every family has Flaws, but those Flaws made us better. We are lucky we had Loving and Accepting Parents.

So proud of you Baby Bro!!!

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually find graphic novels difficult to read. With Fe, I couldn’t put it down! The combination of bright colors, drawings, photography, and Bren Bataclan’s gift of storytelling made it a book I highly recommend. It was a delicate balance of traumatic moments and touching emotions. And so funny! I loved getting a glimpse of Bren’s life told in such a unique way. Get this book!

[Grace Talusan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, loving, candid graphic memoir