5/5 stars. I’ve been crying for half an hour. Yup, that’s the review, thank you for your time, happy painful readings :)
Just kidding, let me share my pain and suffering because that’s what I do best.
Everything hurts and I’m dying. It’s almost three in the morning and I’m sad. I am, very dead inside.
But I will say that the fact that I was crying for like an hour straight says a lot about how attached I grew to these characters.
Akimi Yoshida created an extraordinary story here. And I appreciated that it was such a daring story too. It dealt with a lot of difficult topics and it was set in the eighties (as I said in my review of volume 1, immediate brownie points).
This manga is really, the whole package. It had a lot of elements I love to see in stories and they were balanced so beautifully and tastefully. The taste, guys, the absolute TASTE of this series is astounding. While it was a very painful experience to relive all of this after watching the anime, there’s an artistry and complexity that we have to appreciate in this story. It never got boring. It might’ve dragged at times but I was still fully invested and interested to know what was next. It deserves all the praise.
I love how unexpectedly wholesome at times and constantly captivating this manga is. From the big conspiracy, the underlying plots, the characters, the deep bond that existed between Eiji and Ash, the trust they had in each other and in others like Shorter, Max, Sing, the funny moments, the sad moments, the intensity, the serenity, the soft moments, the tough moments. It basically made me laugh and cry and curl in a ball wanting to scream into the void. It’s a whole ass package of a story isn’t it? It’s goddamn brilliant. That’s what I have to say about this manga. If you’re okay with pretty heavy topics, you like conspiracies, you like the eighties, don’t mind a little bit of blood, want to see a type of bond that transcends just love, you want to see a familial bond between characters, and of course, don’t mind tragedies, then by all means, read Banana Fish.
(Update I woke up the next morning after finishing this, thought about Ash for half a second, and was crying again so... that’s fun)
And now welcome to me crying and being angry about everything... lol. Please enjoy.
Fuck me, I can’t stop crying.
Eiji gave Sing the letter he meant to give Ash. Eiji also got Ash a plane ticked to goddamn Japan so they could go like they meant to and I’m just... I- Eiji’s letter is making me SOB.
“Actually I always felt that you are hurt, much more than me- that your spirit is wounded... I always wanted to protect you. Funny, isn’t it?”
Just kill me already. Shoot me, it would hurt less.
NO! Eiji felt it the moment it happened and I want to die. Death would hurt less. JUST END ME.
Lao can choke. I can’t believe his goddamn audacity. He said he didn’t want Ash to kill Sing, SIR THEY CALLED OFF THE ONE ON ONE FIGHT, YOU STUPID DUMBASS!
“I think I wanted to protect you from your future. Because your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood.”
My tears will sweep ME AWAY.
You’re lying Ibe. NONE OF YOU WILL BE SEEING ASH AGAIN BECAUSE HE IS DYING AS YOU SPEAK-
“You are not alone, Ash. I am with you. My soul is always with you.”
:(
“But im not saying sayonara to you, Ash. Because this isn’t goodbye. I know we’ll see each other again, someday. You are my best friend, Ash.”
My heart has left the chat. I’m crying all over again... will they see each other in the afterlife? That’s my only hope :(
I can’t handle an Ash and Shorter origin story I’m in pain
Ah goddamnit now we get a future Eiji check up? My soul has left the server and is never to be seen again
23 year old Sing in the future went to meet 28 year old Eiji, I’m sobbing uncontrollably.
Eiji with his long hair, he’s majestic
“Oh! I wanna go to the New York Public Library.”
Oh no, sonny, that’s triggering for a number of reasons
Sing is a university student, but he just hangs with Eiji most of the time? I want to cry.
Sing’s name means demon, lion and guilt...
“I love your name. Did you know that Akira means dawn? I know somebody whose name means the same thing.”
STOP!!!
Michaels so grown! Ugh, I’m emo
“Did Okumura-San love this Ash person?
Yes, he did, very much...
Was this Ash person beautiful?
Very beautiful. So beautiful you could hardly believe it...”
“You satisfied? Eiji’s yours forever. Is that what you wanted?”
Listen, it just happened bro. Even after Ash left him, all the love Eiji had was for Ash alone I’m :((((
“Guess what? He hasn’t gone anywhere near the public library in seven years. He won’t even go anyplace where you can see the public library.”
I HATE LIVING
“You were smiling. As if you were having a really good dream.”
Oh, that got to me. I’m crying again. HE WAS THINKING OF EIJI IN HIS DYING MOMENTS. EIJI WAS HIS GOOD DREAM FUCK!
“It’s practically a love letter. Eiji’s letter- stained with Ash’s blood and with his tears.”
Oof Eiji doesn’t know Lao killed Ash.
“It’s been long enough, Ash. You hear me? Let Eiji go now. If you don’t let him go-“
I just got the worst visual of Ash’s ghost just following Eiji around. Always close enough but never quite touching Eiji. Like he wishes he had that second shot... thanks, I love pain.
“He’ll never be happy again. I need him to be happy because until he is, I can’t... Listen to me Ash. I’m getting him back from you. No matter what.”
“Michael?
Hm?
Did you know someone named Ash?
Sure did! He was my hero. Still is.”
Ash is Michael’s hero pls save me :(
“Was this Ash person Okumura-san’s... lover?
He was more than that... But they did love each other. Maybe the way lovers do. They were connected to each other, soul to soul.”
I’m- I’ve exceeded the possible levels of pain a human should even be allowed feel. Just add salt to wound it’s not like I’m already HURTING.
“Eiji changed after that, in every single way. His personality, the way he lives. Ash’s death totally changed him. It changed Eiji’s whole life.”
:(((
“Ash is dead! Why can’t you accept that? He’s dead Eiji! Let him go! Just let him go, damnit! Why can’t you move on? I want you to be happy again, Eiji.”
Sing hugging Eiji... my heart cannot deal
Eiji saw someone that looked like Ash and immediately ran to them... this is unbearable. Please.
“I’ll never forget Ash. I’d never want to forget him. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy or that I’ll never be happy again. Ash lived all out, one hundred percent. You and I know that better than anybody else. I’m just grateful and proud that I got to spend at least a short while in the company of that brilliant, miraculous life force.”
The way Eiji speaks so fondly of Ash I can't deal :(
Eiji pulling up all of Ash’s pictures... I’m going to scream into the void. This hurts my little heart.
Eiji putting up a picture of Ash titled “Dawn” and Sing crying when he noticed Eiji put him up in his studio. I’m crying again... oh, wow the tears never cease to show up, huh.
That one picture of Ash and Eiji in those sweaters with that killer fashion and poses... I’m a sobbing mess
Ugh the one with Ash with his suit being held by his tie *chef kiss*
Anyway, I'm sad. That's all. It was a great manga I’m just very dead inside at the moment and probably forevermore. When I think about Ash or Eiji or this manga in general, it’s emo hours. There’s no stopping the visceral feeling of ouch in my heart. Yay, love that for us all. All I do is be in pain, all I am is suffering :D