The Ordeal of Being Known

by louisfake

When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.

Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")

Genres: Fan Fiction, Fantasy, M M Romance, LGBT, Romance, Harry Potter, Queer

314 pages, ebook

First published March 20, 2021

Reviews

[emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

yes i’m logging a drarry fic idc it was the length of a novel and i binge read it and i loved it

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugh. I adored the shit out of this.

THE PREMISE: it’s eight years after the war, and a mysterious someone has cursed Harry so he can’t speak. Enter: Mind Healer Draco, who goes through Harry’s core memories to find clues to the puzzle of the curse, getting to know him more than anyone ever has.

TROPES & VIBES:
- Wholesome, cozy, fucking adorable storytelling
- You will hate Dumbledore
- Emotionally intelligent king Draco
- Exciting, classic Harry Potter adventure finale
- Phenomenal side-cast (especially Sassy Pansy and Hot Ron)
- Idiots to lovers ft. mixed tapes
- We can’t touch for “reasons”

5⭐️ No 🌶️ (AND I DIDN’T EVEN MIND)

[dhar · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.8⭐

[Alli · Rating 5 out of 5]

this post war fanfic is canon i don’t make the rules like how lovely it is to know someone to their core ugh i love

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

very demure, very mindful

[✧desiree✧ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5☆ Review:

Absolutely adored this.

If you feel any anger about how the Wizarding World treated Harry Potter, this is like therapy through the mouth of Draco Malfoy.

Highly recommend!

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cried in a really good way

[Sunflower · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was everything and i need something like it again and i just can't find it

[Kellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

slowest burn ever and then everything is on fire

[Nika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leuk, cute en ook nog spannend loved ittt

[alba (taylor's version) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 ⭐
Un fanfic bastante agradable que me hizo volver a recordar todo lo que pasaba en Harry Potter (porque ya se me había olvidado).
Draco es un amor de personaje y solo quiero abrazarlo y protegerlo :(

[Rue · Rating 4 out of 5]

screaming crying throwing up

[Audrey Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugh absolute perfection. 4.5/5 rounding up. As stupid as this sounds, drarry really helps my mental health so I really needed this. It was a great length and had an amazing build and THE TENSION WOWZAH

[Yasmin :) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I wanted to,” Harry said quietly. “I wanted to see you.”
Draco’s smile was blinding. He took Harry’s hand in his own and started leading him across the garden, towards the trail that led into the forest.
“Well done,” Draco declared, to Harry’s pathetic delight. “We’ll make a selfish man out of you yet, Harry Potter.” He winked, and Harry huffed a weak laugh in an attempt to control the fluttering in his stomach.”

“I want to know everything about you, Harry,” Draco murmured in that low, quiet voice that Harry adored. “I want to stand with you, I want to be yours, I want to be what you choose over anything you feel you owe the world. I want to be the one thing you’re selfish for, and I want to kiss you so badly. I’ve wanted to for longer than you could possibly know.”




Cute cute cute!! A shorter fic than my usual, which was really nice. I love the idea of it- cursed Harry and healer Draco? Going through Harry’s memories and seeing Harry’s childhood and trauma? Being the only one to truly see him? Showstopping.

I really loved all the characters. First fic I’ve read where Draco has emotionally healed. Harry was amazing. I loved the side characters and all of the children!!

Really cute

[julia]

c'est PAS un ennemies to lovers

[Ann_Nyaruai]

♥️Very fluffy and sweet
⭐️Harry actually acknowledged his abusive childhood

[nymeria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as good as dramoine but still a fun read

[ani ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

i dislike flashbacks so much i physically cannot endure it the exasperated sigh escapes me every time

[fran. · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is the reason why i'm now two days of work behind.

[Felicia Lannan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The characterisations! Such wonderful depictions of the trio and Draco. We love a mystery and the chronological timeline of the memories is an easy format to follow and settle into.

I was skeptical when the villains identity was revealed, but their characterisation and arc to get to that point was quickly explained in a way that made it feel for believable.

Normally I would criticise POV shifts late in the game but I feel like fanfiction gets a free pass on this. Plus the bonus chapters on Tumblr are mostly POV rewrites and also fantastic.

Also a note halfway saying 'if it is 3am and you should go to sleep, now is a good time'... I've never been so called out in my life!

I'm absolutely chomping to read the sequel.

[varga · Rating 2 out of 5]

- Doesn’t feel like the real Draco Malfoy
- Although, I must say, his emotions are explored in a very profound way
- Would have preferred them to be rivals or at least wary/unfriendly towards each other a bit longer at the beginning
- Feels surreal that Draco’s Harry’s healer (which is an equivalent to a therapist as it was framed) — irl this would not be possible between to people who share a history
- Very slow paced, I lacked action and dynamic
- dnf’ed at 25% because I was waaaay too bored (fo the first 10-15% I was very excited, but then I realized that this book is unnecessary long)
- Not sure how to rate this book cuz I dnf’ed it early enough and perhaps it gets better later (I’m sure I didn’t get to the best part) so let’s give it 2,5 stars

[Karleah Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this and I already know this will be a story I reread. Like my other favourite drarry fics, these versions of Draco and Harry felt so authentic, and believable and right for each other. I was absolutely hooked.
I really enjoyed this being about them as adults, but also delving so deeply into Canon with Harry's memories.
I love Draco as a Healer, and Harry as an auror, I loved how scared, and hesistant, and soft, and stupid they both were.
I just loved every minute of reading this and didn't want it to end.
This is definitely in my top 5!

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well written story with good pacing. I was sucked into the world and I loved the dynamic between Harry and Draco. I’m so used to reading spicy books but it amazes me that this book has barely any spice and yet I could feel the love between Harry and Draco so strongly, their feelings so well conveyed, and also not get bored at all. Loved it.

[holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal! So so good. This was brilliant, it made me give up sleep. The chapters was really long but kept me on edge the entire time. I loved the plot twists and the insite that was given into the characters. I also love myself a good morally grey character ;) I've already read both books in the series and throughly enjoyed both of them. Such a good read, would definitely recommend!

[Maria Drago · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tropes: enemies to lovers, memory-sharing, temporarily mute character

Easily one of the best, if not THE best, Drarry fic I've read (and I've read a lot).
Overall, I just adore the premise. Delving into each other's memories is one of my biggest desires in any fic, and this one does that perfectly. A more rare trope I also love is the briefly-indisposed-or-disabled trope, where the characters are forced to help each other for some reason or other. Blindness and deafness are great, but being mute is easily my favorite. Which might sound weird. But I just love when a character is forced to interact in different ways and usually becomes more vulnerable in the process.
The writing was just great all around; nothing seemed off to me in terms of world-building or characterization; the dialogue felt natural; the plot is straightforward and light while also taking itself seriously and delving into a lot of interesting introspection!

Anyway, that's all I have to say. Just... amazing.

And now, SPOILERS!

Notes:
- Draco casually mentioning clearing out his entire schedule to meet with Harry LOL
- I'm actually laughing out loud. Amazing writing!!!
- Hhnnnnhggh love the open honesty as Draco explains the whole process and even makes himself a bit vulnerable in return. This is gonna be SO GOOD.
- The broomstick ride was unfathomably cute. They both love flying so much and I love any fic where they bond through it.
- Yeeeee Draco noting how strongly Harry feels things. I love that and it works so well for a fic like this.
- It's really looking like someone just cursed Harry to set him up with Draco. I'm starting to think that there's actually nothing too nefarious at play here and this is just a very manipulative ploy to get them closer together. Maybe it's Narcissa? Pansy would be too busy with her daughter to bother with Draco's love life, and this isn't something any Gryffindors would do. I'm suspicious of Shacklebolt too, though, since he's the only other person (besides Pansy and Narcissa) who has access to Draco's Floo.
- The Veritaserum scene seems unnecessary at first glance, but I love what it does to even the gap between them, putting Draco in a more vulnerable position. It's only fair!
- Love how every time Draco gets mushy or feels any feels, he just calls himself pathetic. Wow, Harry looks amazing... Pathetic. Oh, that was really cute... Pull yourself together, man.
- THE MIXTAAAAAPPE. I didn't think of it as very special, just something that was funny to see Draco floundering with, until Harry got all EMBARRASSED about it, and then I started thinking about what KINDS of songs could be on there, with what MESSAGES.
- THE DANCING. I put on "Sparks" by Coldplay and the scene just went >>>>>> SO ROMANTIC. And UGH, Draco fighting off physical pain just to keep going.
- YEEEEEAAAAAHHHSSS GO BATSHIT CRAZY, HARRY, GET YO MANS!


Update: Second time read.
I've just got a couple of excerpts from the text I really liked that I wanted to share, but you can see how distracted I become because they quickly peter out after, like, the second chapter. Anyway, here's a couple good lines.

He felt almost nostalgic looking at a furious Potter. It was nice knowing not everything had changed.

Classic.

Draco could feel Potter’s magic as soon as he’d walked in the room, and by now thankfully his goosebumps were going down. It was stupid how powerful Potter was. He probably wasn’t even aware of it. His magic hung in the air around him, still but vibrating with potential, charged like the damp air before a storm. If Draco closed his eyes, he knew he would smell faint hints of wet earth and ozone, but he didn’t dare, locking away that area of perception deep in his brain.

Obsessssed with uber-powerful Harry. Like we know he's a great wizard, but I just love this aura-farming and acknowledgment of his inherent magical abilities.

Weasley turned back to Potter, with his hands held up in what might have been an appeasing gesture. “I’m sorry, mate. It’s true, he is the best at what he does. All the Healers on this floor recommended him. He’s in high demand, and we’re lucky he’s got the time to take on this case at all.”
Draco didn’t bother to mention that he’d already recommended all of his much less urgent patients to other Healers in order to free up said time. There was no way he was missing this.

(Cackling)

Draco huffed. “Yes, yes, I was a prick, karma’s a bitch, and now I have to wear reading glasses at age twenty-five. Anything else we need to get out of the way before I can start working?” he asked, exasperated.
This apparently released some sort of tension in the room as the three Gryffindors broke into quiet giggles and looked at each other meaningfully. [...] The satisfaction of finally making these people laugh, even at his own expense, caused a warm feeling in his chest. Which was pathetic, he soon realized, and rearranged his face back to indifferent aristocrat post haste.

Oh, Draco, you silly, soft fool, you.

It was a creepy story, and unrealistic—that witch must have been truly senile to be overpowered and outwitted by two muggle children, but she was obviously barmy if she was trying to eat them anyway. Good riddance, Draco thought.

What if I told you that Draco Malfoy shit-talking the witch from Hansel and Gretel was the funniest thing I've seen all day?

Draco could feel Harry’s fingers grazing the bottom of the Mark on his left arm, and he was too shocked to do anything but stare. His body was sweating and twitching through the effects of the potion—he knew the convulsions would start soon, he’d probably be incapacitated for the rest of the day.
He wondered what sort of trick Harry had planned now. If this was how the Aurors were arresting people, these days, maybe it wasn’t so bad. Harry’s hands were rough, but so gentle, and so warm.

Okay, first of all, cute XD
Second of all, I had forgotten about the Veritaserum interrogation, and all of Draco's trauma with that. And I especially forgot about his highly incriminating and embarrassing Patronus conjuration image. Good lord.
But I really love this scene, it's so deliciously dramatic. I've always loved truth serum scenes in fiction, whether it's willingly or not, or maybe it's just alcohol lowering one's inhibitions. So much fun comes of random truth-telling!

But Harry shook his head, smirking, and raised his hand to his face. He tapped his forehead twice, crooking his finger with an invitation. Draco hoped he wasn’t blushing again.
“Such a Gryffindor,” he chastised, flustered. “We won’t go barging back in just like that. Finish your chocolate, we’ll do some more breathing first, then you can show me whatever you want to show me.”

I honestly keep forgetting Harry can't even talk with how well they communicate, and it's so damn cute. Also, obsessed with Draco getting flustered.

“Of fucking course,” Draco snickered. “I don’t even doubt that, you know, I know it must be true, but it’s so… it’s of course, I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you. I’ll bet the tears came straight from the bird’s eyes. Please tell me the phoenix cried on you, Harry,” he implored, giggling helplessly, and Harry smiled at him as he nodded. Draco was fully laughing now.
“Typical,” he said, shaking his head.

The reaction to Harry being so Harry XD I just love this acknowledgment of all the absurd shit Harry went through.

Harry’s face was wet, too, and Draco knew he himself must look a right mess—he knew he got red and blotchy when he cried, Pansy had always told him it wasn’t a good look. But Harry looked like a tragic angel, because of course he did, the tosser.

Love this damn line XD

[nic づ✿ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“You are safe here” Draco grinned at Harry, who’d apparently taken Draco’s words to heart that first session and returned them to him, when he needed it most.

“Draco was a pawn in an adult’s war, the same way I was. We played the same role, on opposite sides. He was raised to follow one path and one path only. He was sent on an impossible task, to kill the most powerful wizard alive, and he had no choice but to follow it, or die. He did what he had to do to keep himself and his mother safe. I was raised to follow only one path, thanks to a stupid prophecy. I was told I had to kill one of the most powerful wizards alive, or else he would kill me, and everyone I love—I had no choice. I did what I had to do to keep my friends safe. The only difference is that I succeeded in killing someone. Draco could not.”
Draco’s eyes widen further, he seems frozen to his chair.
“If you’re going to throw Draco in Azkaban, for things he did as a teenager in an impossible situation, you’ll have to throw me in there, with him.”

“Draco could not, would not live in a world where Harry Potter didn’t exist, would not give up the one boy who truly saw him, the only person who spoke up for him.”

“I want to know everything about you, Harry,” Draco murmured in that low, quiet voice that Harry adored. “I want to stand with you, I want to be yours, I want to be what you choose over anything you feel you owe the world. I want to be the one thing you’re selfish for, and I want to kiss you so badly. I’ve wanted to for longer than you could possibly know.”

this was so so precious and heartwarming, i’m so glad they found each other, my boys <3 ALSO, the album parachutes by coldplay is one of my favorite albums ever and the album that i was playing nonstop while reading harry potter series for the first time so many years ago and i can’t explain the amount of happiness i felt when i read that the album was playing while they were slowly dancing together with their emotions flowing in the air (in my opinion, the most beautiful part of the fic).

[irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

“What do you want, Harry?”
“I want you to be safe. I want you to thrive.”
“No, Harry,” Draco shook his head. “What do you want?”
“I want to be around you,” he answered, his voice just above a whisper. “All the bloody time.”

🪴✨👣🦉🍃🫧🦌🌿☕️🎼📼

This story was so unbelievably beautiful. Gosh, it’s definitely canon in my head. 8 years after the war, Auror Harry is cursed to not speak his mind. His voice is silenced. And the only person who can heal him is the Specialist in Mind Curses and Legilimency, Healer Draco Malfoy. So there begins a journey of Draco entering Harry’s mind, finding the breadcrumbs that the curse left in his brain, of his most formative memories. A journey of Harry and Draco surviving the mortifying ordeal of being known.

It’s also important to their new healer / patient dynamic that in order to get his Healer license, Draco had to submit himself to being magically bonded to the Ministry, so he cannot harm patients, disrespect patient confidentiality or have an unethical relationship with a patient without feeling intense, stabbing pain. He’s literally bonded to his Healer vows.

So anytime they gently touch in their sessions… anytime Draco looks at Harry with wonder in his eyes… He feels a lot of pain. Their dancing scene was so so lovely. God.

This is just a beautiful story, and the mystery of the attack against Harry was also rlly interesting. Can’t wait to read the sequel!

“I’m sorry, Draco. I always lose my head around you.”
“Idiot Gryffindor. Not much there to begin with.”

[bel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars 🌟. I’m in a Drarry Phase rn.

To start of, this fic is very popular and widely known in the Drarry fic community, so that is the main reason I started reading it (and the blurb sounded interesting). So when I was feeling bored, I powered through because I needed to know why it was so well praised (and I’m happy I did carry on coz after the half way mark is when it started to get interesting 🤭).

It was quite clear that they both had an interest in each other (and not just the whole patient and doctor interested in getting healed things but actually attraction interest).

Some of the songs used in this fic were AMAZING coz I absolutely adore the ones the author used (they used Linger by the cranberries and Iris by the goo goo dolls, which are two songs that are so gooooood).

I was expecting the last 30-40% of this fic, as I thought it would be a chill mystery type of fic but NOOOOO I was so wrong (it was actually so wild but so fun).

Overall, this fic was so good but it got a lower rating for me because I didn’t fully enjoy the first 50% as I thought it was quite boring and repetitive (in the way that Harry get going to Draco to do the same healing but with different memories), I probably will read the sequel though 🤷‍♀️.

[Tulipe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have so many things to say... The romance was so good! I loved Harry and Draco relationship and their dynamic, everytime I was bitting my own nails and joy exploded in my chest at their interaction, or when you could feel that it was evolving.

Draco been tied to professional secret, and therefore, suffering everytime he was been unprofessional with Harry was so.. HARG!!!!!! It also add a bit of tension into the romance: they coudn't be together. The danse scene, and Draco suffering from the kiss, but still going for it!!! And Harry learning about it later!!!!! ARG

Draco listening to the tape Harry gave him weeks prior, that was so obvious that he was in love with him was a cute scene and gave a bit of comfort.

There isn't much I didn't like about this book. Even if the plot twist of Lucius been the one who cursed Harry didn't work as it was obvious the moment Draco and Ron went through the memory of Harry been curse and talked about those weird person talking to Harry at the bar who kept talking to him, but who all acted the same. It was obvious to me that it was Lucius as he was already mentioned before. But this didn't bother me too much, as Lucius reveal still hooked me. His line when he attacked Draco was so cold !!! I loved that scene too, and I was so hooked! It deserved it's 5 stars, one of my top 5 Drarry for sure.

[Dracosmuggle · Rating 4 out of 5]

The starting was great. Draco's acceptance of who he was made me so proud of him.
Loved the idea.
Loved the beginning chapters too.
But the Lucious Part got me a bit confused honestly. There really wasn't any actual plan in there.
He'd learn about Harry and fulfill the prophecy? He's mad.
If it was intentional... That he was out of Azkaban then that's okay.
He'd use Draco... Mad again... Even if he takes Harry what is he gonna gain?
Other than this part, I loved each and every part of it.


Of all the ways I wanted Draco to grow out the war, this is the one I am rooting for.
Draco being so accepting, so positive , a successful healer, an authoritative figure in the industry.
Loved him as the healer, so professional and how he has started to love children and house elves, how he's now acquainted to muggle things too.

And the sentence made me laugh a lot.
Yes, I was a prick, Karma's a bitch....
Showed how much he'd actually grown up.