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She's Unlikeable: And Other Lies That Bring Women Down
Aparna Shewakramani of Indian Matchmaking fame knows who she is and what she wants—and she is not afraid to ask for it
When Aparna Shewakramani appeared on Netflix’s hit series, Indian Matchmaking, it soon became clear that Aparna knew what she wanted. But all stories are told through certain lenses—and her story is no exception. That reality show turned Aparna into a character. Her decisiveness combined with careful editing spun her into a very specific archetype: The villain. The woman you love to hate. The unlikable woman.
It turned around, though, with a single message of support: Be Like Aparna. Soon supporters were in the tens of thousands. Women are tired of seeing other women being vilified simply because they have a voice. In this book, you will learn about the real Aparna Shewakramani.
She bares it all—the good, the bad, and the it-depends-on-how-you-look-at-it. There is her mother’s bravery in escaping an abusive marriage, Aparna’s diagnosis of an autoimmune disease, and her confession that she too is susceptible to the deep-rooted need to be pretty and likeable. But it is also the story of her entrepreneurial spirit and her success. It is about lessons learned and the strength to be your own woman.
This is a journey to prevent Aparna-the-person from being erased by Aparna-the-character.
When Aparna Shewakramani appeared on Netflix’s hit series, Indian Matchmaking, it soon became clear that Aparna knew what she wanted. But all stories are told through certain lenses—and her story is no exception. That reality show turned Aparna into a character. Her decisiveness combined with careful editing spun her into a very specific archetype: The villain. The woman you love to hate. The unlikable woman.
It turned around, though, with a single message of support: Be Like Aparna. Soon supporters were in the tens of thousands. Women are tired of seeing other women being vilified simply because they have a voice. In this book, you will learn about the real Aparna Shewakramani.
She bares it all—the good, the bad, and the it-depends-on-how-you-look-at-it. There is her mother’s bravery in escaping an abusive marriage, Aparna’s diagnosis of an autoimmune disease, and her confession that she too is susceptible to the deep-rooted need to be pretty and likeable. But it is also the story of her entrepreneurial spirit and her success. It is about lessons learned and the strength to be your own woman.
This is a journey to prevent Aparna-the-person from being erased by Aparna-the-character.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published February 8, 2022
23 people are currently reading
1596 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
June 23, 2022
i don't disagree with the premise, but she just comes off as soooo defensive it undermines her point. plus the whole trying-to-seem-relatable-by-minimizing-my-privilege-and-magnifying-my-struggles gets old in seconds.
I read the "i got a six figure salary immediately after graduating and had no debt so I missed out on bonding over only affording ramen" and lost my mind lmao
I read the "i got a six figure salary immediately after graduating and had no debt so I missed out on bonding over only affording ramen" and lost my mind lmao
August 27, 2022
Hilariously, the author's note at the start asserts that "This book is not about my participation on Indian Matchmaking, though it does, of course, include my time on the show". In fact, the book is almost exclusively about Indian Matchmaking. As with most reality TV stars, her appearance on television is by far the most exciting and noteworthy experience of her life, and I don't see anybody becoming particularly interested in, for instance, her time studying abroad, related through such classic lines as: "I ate. I prayed. I loved—well honestly, the only things I loved were gelato, pasta, and wine." It is hard to be sympathetic towards someone who "finished law school at the age of twenty-five and started my first job with a six-figure income", even if she is sad that she skipped "those carefree ramen-eating New York City days described fondly today by so many of my friends".
For fans of the show, most relevant is Aparna's major criticism: that her first two dates (filmed in a row) were very unsuitable. According to her, Srini revealed, at the end of her date, that he had no intention of pursuing something seriously with her because he lived in San Diego and she lived in Houston. Apparently, she was otherwise open to pursuing something with him. Hence the "Srini the loser comment". This is unfortunate, although Srini himself has another version of events.
She has the customary complaints of a first-timer on television: long hours, stress, anxiety. These moments might have been important for her, but having them releated in extreme detail is not very interesting for a reader. Most of her "huge reveals" are in fact minor discomforts, like wearing a somewhat tight shirt when going axe throwing, which made it so she couldn't lift her arms up all the way. This was her golden opportunity to tell her side of the story, and frankly there is not that much there. She repeatedly complains about slight edits that really do not change the context that much.
Take for instance the moment in the show where she says she hated comedy. She spends a paragraph in her book clarifying that comment slightly: "I prefer longer, serialized dramas with a heavy focus on character development ... I will enjoy (and have many times) the Comedy Cellar in NYC, where famed comedians try out their new material on small crowds. I will join friends to see touring comedians." Thanks for that clarification -- not exactly exciting reading. The important context apparently missing (to me it was actually not) was that the show made it appear like this was said in response to Sima's recommendation of someone "jolly" for her: "This was a controversial statement when edited and applied to Srini’s jolly status (and not the fact that Raj invested so much of his time in stand-up comedy, per his biodata)." Only to add: "But hey, I stand by it. Some people don't enjoy run-of-the-mill comedic humor". What a dazzling read -- woman's comment taken slightly out of context and apparently presented a smidgen less nuanced than it is in reality. In actuality, people's impression of her -- that she was stubborn, self-obsessed, negative -- is proven by the very book in which she tries to prove the opposite.
A lof of the book deals with the aftermath of the show. Understandably, she was disappointed when Sima called her "negative", although she was only articulating what everybody with working eyes and ears already knew. "I invited these guests into my house and then later, on screen, saw her slamming me for my negativity." She attempted to get a lawyer, getting the idea to sue Sima (or the show) for calling her "unstable", which in her view was providing a medical opinion without the necessary credentials. Obviously a lawyer told her she had no case. This vitriol is not apparent at the start of the book, where she writes: "the show has been a source of good in my life. It was a remarkably positive experience, one of which I am proud, one that I would repeat a thousand times over. To the entire team at the show: I hope you know that my heart is filled with appreciation and gratitude for every single one of you. Thank you." Yes, except that I wanted to sue you too, sorry about that.
It is sad that she received a lot of hate on the Internet. She was obsessed about the comments for days and barely slept or ate, until her mother and sister finally convinced her to get off the Internet. Then she looked for advice elsewhere: "I can gain from other women who claimed they were wrongfully vilified in television—ones who are clear in the media that they don’t agree with their own portrayals on their respective shows. I DM a few and ask what their advice is for coping with these days and weeks post–show launch. Overwhelmingly, they tell me to turn off my phone, deactivate social media, and if possible, leave town. Their advice, without them saying it, is to cower and hide." Obviously she did not take their fairly commonsense advice.
As a matter of fact, though, I think her experience on the show, even in her own words, was finally still positive. Why else would she write that, and happily return for season 2? She was looking for a reason to stop working as a lawyer, and she finally could now. She sold shirts with "Be like Aparna"; you can buy a personalized video of her, under a minute in length, for 60 euros on the website Cameo; she decided to focus more on her old business My Golden Balloon, where you pay her to plan your holiday (from the Website: "someone can sign up alone or with friends to experience Aparna’s dream 7-8 day itinerary to that destination"); she can write a book in which she complains about the very show and person that made her a D-list Internet celebrity, then still appear on their show. Now she lives the dream of being a single woman in sprawling New York with no stable income (how ironic). Well, good luck, and enjoy the Ramen; I don't think it will be care-free, though. When the prurient itch of momentary curiosity disappears, you'll be just another lonely middle-aged person.
For fans of the show, most relevant is Aparna's major criticism: that her first two dates (filmed in a row) were very unsuitable. According to her, Srini revealed, at the end of her date, that he had no intention of pursuing something seriously with her because he lived in San Diego and she lived in Houston. Apparently, she was otherwise open to pursuing something with him. Hence the "Srini the loser comment". This is unfortunate, although Srini himself has another version of events.
She has the customary complaints of a first-timer on television: long hours, stress, anxiety. These moments might have been important for her, but having them releated in extreme detail is not very interesting for a reader. Most of her "huge reveals" are in fact minor discomforts, like wearing a somewhat tight shirt when going axe throwing, which made it so she couldn't lift her arms up all the way. This was her golden opportunity to tell her side of the story, and frankly there is not that much there. She repeatedly complains about slight edits that really do not change the context that much.
Take for instance the moment in the show where she says she hated comedy. She spends a paragraph in her book clarifying that comment slightly: "I prefer longer, serialized dramas with a heavy focus on character development ... I will enjoy (and have many times) the Comedy Cellar in NYC, where famed comedians try out their new material on small crowds. I will join friends to see touring comedians." Thanks for that clarification -- not exactly exciting reading. The important context apparently missing (to me it was actually not) was that the show made it appear like this was said in response to Sima's recommendation of someone "jolly" for her: "This was a controversial statement when edited and applied to Srini’s jolly status (and not the fact that Raj invested so much of his time in stand-up comedy, per his biodata)." Only to add: "But hey, I stand by it. Some people don't enjoy run-of-the-mill comedic humor". What a dazzling read -- woman's comment taken slightly out of context and apparently presented a smidgen less nuanced than it is in reality. In actuality, people's impression of her -- that she was stubborn, self-obsessed, negative -- is proven by the very book in which she tries to prove the opposite.
A lof of the book deals with the aftermath of the show. Understandably, she was disappointed when Sima called her "negative", although she was only articulating what everybody with working eyes and ears already knew. "I invited these guests into my house and then later, on screen, saw her slamming me for my negativity." She attempted to get a lawyer, getting the idea to sue Sima (or the show) for calling her "unstable", which in her view was providing a medical opinion without the necessary credentials. Obviously a lawyer told her she had no case. This vitriol is not apparent at the start of the book, where she writes: "the show has been a source of good in my life. It was a remarkably positive experience, one of which I am proud, one that I would repeat a thousand times over. To the entire team at the show: I hope you know that my heart is filled with appreciation and gratitude for every single one of you. Thank you." Yes, except that I wanted to sue you too, sorry about that.
It is sad that she received a lot of hate on the Internet. She was obsessed about the comments for days and barely slept or ate, until her mother and sister finally convinced her to get off the Internet. Then she looked for advice elsewhere: "I can gain from other women who claimed they were wrongfully vilified in television—ones who are clear in the media that they don’t agree with their own portrayals on their respective shows. I DM a few and ask what their advice is for coping with these days and weeks post–show launch. Overwhelmingly, they tell me to turn off my phone, deactivate social media, and if possible, leave town. Their advice, without them saying it, is to cower and hide." Obviously she did not take their fairly commonsense advice.
As a matter of fact, though, I think her experience on the show, even in her own words, was finally still positive. Why else would she write that, and happily return for season 2? She was looking for a reason to stop working as a lawyer, and she finally could now. She sold shirts with "Be like Aparna"; you can buy a personalized video of her, under a minute in length, for 60 euros on the website Cameo; she decided to focus more on her old business My Golden Balloon, where you pay her to plan your holiday (from the Website: "someone can sign up alone or with friends to experience Aparna’s dream 7-8 day itinerary to that destination"); she can write a book in which she complains about the very show and person that made her a D-list Internet celebrity, then still appear on their show. Now she lives the dream of being a single woman in sprawling New York with no stable income (how ironic). Well, good luck, and enjoy the Ramen; I don't think it will be care-free, though. When the prurient itch of momentary curiosity disappears, you'll be just another lonely middle-aged person.
December 6, 2022
I am not sure how I feel about this book. On one hand, I do appreciate that Aparna got her chance to tell her side of the story, show her personality without it being edited by Netflix producers. On the other hand, I think Aparna is Aparna and she came across in her memoir very similar (to me at least) to how she was portrayed on the show. So if someone is going into this book expecting to get a different, more sympathetic view of Aparna I don't think you will. I mean she literally called an airline one evening and made up a story about her dog being sick so she could switch her flight back home without having to pay fees because she went on a disappointing date. And she does not feel bad about it so yeahhhhhhhh...... (and that's before she talks about forcing her university to let her do Semester at Sea program even when they no longer had the program because they had students die in the past while at Semester at Sea. But Aparna wanted to do Semester at Sea so she badgered multiple university officials until they allowed her to receive college credit for it).
There were good parts. I enjoyed reading about her family history and how she was raised by very strong women in both her mother and grandmother. I liked that her sister doesn't tell her to be anything else then who she is and I can see how being diagnosed with lupus as a sixteen year-old really made her buckle down on getting what SHE wants out of life. But her attitude the whole memoir just rubbed me the wrong way even though I am around the same age as Aparna and can relate to a lot of her experiences about being single and dating in my thirties. I think she should have waited longer to write this. The book felt rushed and a bit all over the place. I think she is still dealing with being on Indian Matchmaker and the repercussions that has happened as a result of that publicity (both good and book) and I for the life of me cannot understand why she went back for season two when most of this book is spent complaining about how she was typecast/victimized on season one but I digress. It's her memoir after all and she can write whatever she wants.
I will not be reading more of her writings, however. This book was enough for me.
There were good parts. I enjoyed reading about her family history and how she was raised by very strong women in both her mother and grandmother. I liked that her sister doesn't tell her to be anything else then who she is and I can see how being diagnosed with lupus as a sixteen year-old really made her buckle down on getting what SHE wants out of life. But her attitude the whole memoir just rubbed me the wrong way even though I am around the same age as Aparna and can relate to a lot of her experiences about being single and dating in my thirties. I think she should have waited longer to write this. The book felt rushed and a bit all over the place. I think she is still dealing with being on Indian Matchmaker and the repercussions that has happened as a result of that publicity (both good and book) and I for the life of me cannot understand why she went back for season two when most of this book is spent complaining about how she was typecast/victimized on season one but I digress. It's her memoir after all and she can write whatever she wants.
I will not be reading more of her writings, however. This book was enough for me.
March 16, 2022
Read/Listen if:
❤️ You have been called “too … loud/opinionated/independent/etc.”
❤️ You are labeled as a “high performer/overachiever”
❤️ Have been called bossy instead of a leader
❤️ Are driven and goal oriented
❤️ Watched Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking series
❤️ Have ever been told directly or indirectly to lower your standards
❤️ Want to learn about the person behind the “Villain”
Audiobook Thoughts:
First and foremost I loved the messaging behind this book… is it a recounting of personal experiences/growth/trauma? Yes, absolutely… is it also a motivational speech/message? Also, absolutely yes… Will it make you think and question your responses to media you consume? Absolutely yes… Is it a damn good TedTalk- should be if it isn’t… Is it meant to make you step back and reevaluate… Again, absolutely yes.
This audiobook was all the things that I hoped it would be… There was backstory and experience shared that was part of Aparna’s story. There was also direct messaging to the reader/listener to listen and reevaluate their decisions and perceptions and to force thought to either back or challenge ideas and thought patterns of the reader/consumer of this content.
Aparna so beautifully discussed racism, classism, sexism, roles and expectations of females in society as well as in Indian culture specifically, and so many more messages/experiences and how this all tied to her experiences and decision making before, during, and after her appearance on Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking show.
From one high achieving independent woman, I really appreciated this audiobook as it made me step outside of myself and think about things that caused discomfort but also backed my beliefs based on my personal experiences of the struggles that can come with being a high achieving goal/career oriented woman.
Thank you NetGalley and Chicago Review Press and Dreamscape Media for the ARC of this audiobook! I am so thankful to obtain a copy to listen to in advance of its release!
❤️ You have been called “too … loud/opinionated/independent/etc.”
❤️ You are labeled as a “high performer/overachiever”
❤️ Have been called bossy instead of a leader
❤️ Are driven and goal oriented
❤️ Watched Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking series
❤️ Have ever been told directly or indirectly to lower your standards
❤️ Want to learn about the person behind the “Villain”
Audiobook Thoughts:
First and foremost I loved the messaging behind this book… is it a recounting of personal experiences/growth/trauma? Yes, absolutely… is it also a motivational speech/message? Also, absolutely yes… Will it make you think and question your responses to media you consume? Absolutely yes… Is it a damn good TedTalk- should be if it isn’t… Is it meant to make you step back and reevaluate… Again, absolutely yes.
This audiobook was all the things that I hoped it would be… There was backstory and experience shared that was part of Aparna’s story. There was also direct messaging to the reader/listener to listen and reevaluate their decisions and perceptions and to force thought to either back or challenge ideas and thought patterns of the reader/consumer of this content.
Aparna so beautifully discussed racism, classism, sexism, roles and expectations of females in society as well as in Indian culture specifically, and so many more messages/experiences and how this all tied to her experiences and decision making before, during, and after her appearance on Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking show.
From one high achieving independent woman, I really appreciated this audiobook as it made me step outside of myself and think about things that caused discomfort but also backed my beliefs based on my personal experiences of the struggles that can come with being a high achieving goal/career oriented woman.
Thank you NetGalley and Chicago Review Press and Dreamscape Media for the ARC of this audiobook! I am so thankful to obtain a copy to listen to in advance of its release!
February 7, 2022
This refreshing book is such a treat! I love Aparna's honesty, wisdom, and perspective. Filled with humor and heart, this delightful book is ultimately about self-awareness and understanding.
August 7, 2022
My path to this book was a little circuitous. A childhood friend of mine was recently on a very popular reality TV show, and was the villain of his season. He then started a podcast about the misrepresentation of people on reality TV, and interviewed Aparna, who said she had written a book about the topic. I saw her on Indian Matchmaking, and she's absolutely right that I consumed it wholesale and came away disliking her and her mother for being elitist and difficult. Something Aparna said on the podcast really stuck with me. She said they filmed her for something like 150 hours, and used about 1.5 hours of footage of her total. She opined that given that ratio, they could have made her into any of the tropes producers hope to fill: victim, villain, etc.
I picked this book up on audio from the library, hoping for a breezy bit of entertainment while bouldering. But the book ended up being better written and having more depth than I had anticipated. In this book, she comes of as sharp, practical, extremely secure, introspective, resilient, and funny. I found her so incredibly relatable. I feel like if I was in her situation, it would be so easy to paint me as picky and negative, instead of discerning and having very high standards for the behavior of myself and others. Especially if you edited out any times I expressed working on myself, and only put in clips of me demanding other people work on themselves. My friends and family describe me as intentional, loving, and firmly setting healthy boundaries. But it would be so easy to selectively choose clips of me expressing strong opinions to make me look difficult and elitist.
I was really blown away by her descriptions of how out of context her footage was used. The famous clip of her mother calling one of the suitors a loser was in response to that man saying off camera he had no intention of dating Aparna and mostly wanted some screen time and thought it sounded "fun." But placing that footage right after someone talking about the man's career as an independent artist is criminally misleading, I don't understand why that's allowed or condoned. I completely agree with Aparna that we should demand better from our entertainment outlets.
There's so much about this woman that was never mentioned on IM: her hard-won semester at sea (what a cool adventure), the fact that she took each suitor out for an off camera dinner afterwards to put them at ease, her battle with Chron's disease, her heroic behavior rescuing her incapacitated mother during hurricane Harvey, and most mind blowing of all, that she wasn't paid for her time on the show!! That really blew my mind. They don't get paid??? But they provide all the content! Instead she spent thousands of dollars out of pocket for hair and makeup for herself and all her family members so they could look good on TV.
She made me feel embarrassed how little I had assessed the show to see if it was in line with my values. Sima espouses a lot of very problematic opinions containing entrenched sexism and ugly colonial vestiges, and I just laughed and wanted to see what happened next.
I will say, Aparna gets a bit carried away with the sisterhood business when she says stuff like the next time someone calls you X just remember, you're not crazy, or stubborn, or demanding, you're the victim of bullying! I was like, GIRL, they might be crazy. Not everyone is a victim. But point taken, women are vulnerable to being portrayed as those things because of a long history of cultural oppression.
Also, she writes clearly, and concisely, and in a balanced way. I really liked what she generously said about a fellow maligned female reality TV villain: She is living a life that is fully in line with her values and solidly reflective of her self worth. That's what I feel like Aparna is doing too.
I came away from this book with a completely different mindset about consuming reality TV. Any industry that already has slots to fit people into before they begin filming is not something to take as truth. Worse, those slots are formed of the entrenched biases we already have, that's why it feels good to have people fit into them and have those biases confirmed. It's something we should actively fight against, both to be fair to the UNPAID (still can't believe that) stars of these shows who are actual human beings, and also so we can consume media that challenges us and teaches us something rather than just enforces tired ideas we already have.
I picked this book up on audio from the library, hoping for a breezy bit of entertainment while bouldering. But the book ended up being better written and having more depth than I had anticipated. In this book, she comes of as sharp, practical, extremely secure, introspective, resilient, and funny. I found her so incredibly relatable. I feel like if I was in her situation, it would be so easy to paint me as picky and negative, instead of discerning and having very high standards for the behavior of myself and others. Especially if you edited out any times I expressed working on myself, and only put in clips of me demanding other people work on themselves. My friends and family describe me as intentional, loving, and firmly setting healthy boundaries. But it would be so easy to selectively choose clips of me expressing strong opinions to make me look difficult and elitist.
I was really blown away by her descriptions of how out of context her footage was used. The famous clip of her mother calling one of the suitors a loser was in response to that man saying off camera he had no intention of dating Aparna and mostly wanted some screen time and thought it sounded "fun." But placing that footage right after someone talking about the man's career as an independent artist is criminally misleading, I don't understand why that's allowed or condoned. I completely agree with Aparna that we should demand better from our entertainment outlets.
There's so much about this woman that was never mentioned on IM: her hard-won semester at sea (what a cool adventure), the fact that she took each suitor out for an off camera dinner afterwards to put them at ease, her battle with Chron's disease, her heroic behavior rescuing her incapacitated mother during hurricane Harvey, and most mind blowing of all, that she wasn't paid for her time on the show!! That really blew my mind. They don't get paid??? But they provide all the content! Instead she spent thousands of dollars out of pocket for hair and makeup for herself and all her family members so they could look good on TV.
She made me feel embarrassed how little I had assessed the show to see if it was in line with my values. Sima espouses a lot of very problematic opinions containing entrenched sexism and ugly colonial vestiges, and I just laughed and wanted to see what happened next.
I will say, Aparna gets a bit carried away with the sisterhood business when she says stuff like the next time someone calls you X just remember, you're not crazy, or stubborn, or demanding, you're the victim of bullying! I was like, GIRL, they might be crazy. Not everyone is a victim. But point taken, women are vulnerable to being portrayed as those things because of a long history of cultural oppression.
Also, she writes clearly, and concisely, and in a balanced way. I really liked what she generously said about a fellow maligned female reality TV villain: She is living a life that is fully in line with her values and solidly reflective of her self worth. That's what I feel like Aparna is doing too.
I came away from this book with a completely different mindset about consuming reality TV. Any industry that already has slots to fit people into before they begin filming is not something to take as truth. Worse, those slots are formed of the entrenched biases we already have, that's why it feels good to have people fit into them and have those biases confirmed. It's something we should actively fight against, both to be fair to the UNPAID (still can't believe that) stars of these shows who are actual human beings, and also so we can consume media that challenges us and teaches us something rather than just enforces tired ideas we already have.
March 23, 2022
A true reading pleasure, She's Unlikeable connects the dots for those striving toward a more authentic existence through Aparna's recounting of her life lessons. This book is perfect for anyone tapping into their own need to live a life outside of set societal milestones—a life full of surprises, immense joy, and exploration of self.
December 27, 2021
I have never heard of the author nor watched her show. I like to read about strong women who take control of their lives. I just couldn’t connect with the author nor her story. This book was a miss for me. Thanks to Chicago Review Press and NetGalley for the advance copy.
February 25, 2023
I have a lot to say…but long story short 1) this book was an attempt at redemption post-show, despite her saying this book wasn’t about the show….and 2) she’s still fairly unlikeable (sorry)
June 13, 2022
The title itself was the reason I picked this book. I could feel that instant connection with the book and hence I witnessed a hilarious and amazing journey of @aparnashewakramani of Indian Matching!
Being on a reality show, her decisiveness and sense of self-worth led viewers see her as An unlikeable woman. Raising many questions for seeking answers to roles and expectations from women in the society, to how they are being told to not be themselves as that's something the society doesn't approve of, to how having strong opinions raised questions for her, this book is about her inspiring journey.
The candidness and honesty in her writing style make this book more relatable. It's like witnessing the bomb of truth dropping from her. Her decisions, questions and all the lessons she learned throughout made her stronger.
From the power of editing to being a public figure to all the opinions that people around her made for her, here witness the behind-the-scenes of her life, the struggles she faced and how she stood up for herself despite all the norms.
With a crisp descriptive narration and gripping writing style, it's a light, quick and fun read that you will enjoy. From sharing the moments where she felt low, and lonely to the happy times, I loved how she shared it all.
Aparna's journey is a roller-coaster ride, with many lessons she learned. A refreshing and inspiring story that shares about how it's okay to be yourself, do what you love and keeping yourself first against all the odds.
Being on a reality show, her decisiveness and sense of self-worth led viewers see her as An unlikeable woman. Raising many questions for seeking answers to roles and expectations from women in the society, to how they are being told to not be themselves as that's something the society doesn't approve of, to how having strong opinions raised questions for her, this book is about her inspiring journey.
The candidness and honesty in her writing style make this book more relatable. It's like witnessing the bomb of truth dropping from her. Her decisions, questions and all the lessons she learned throughout made her stronger.
From the power of editing to being a public figure to all the opinions that people around her made for her, here witness the behind-the-scenes of her life, the struggles she faced and how she stood up for herself despite all the norms.
With a crisp descriptive narration and gripping writing style, it's a light, quick and fun read that you will enjoy. From sharing the moments where she felt low, and lonely to the happy times, I loved how she shared it all.
Aparna's journey is a roller-coaster ride, with many lessons she learned. A refreshing and inspiring story that shares about how it's okay to be yourself, do what you love and keeping yourself first against all the odds.
March 21, 2022
I quickly binged “Indian Matchmaker” on Netflix and recalled Aparna as a standout character. In this book, it was interesting to see the behind-the-scenes reality of her filming experience in addition to the power of editing, which admittedly can be easy to forget sometimes. I appreciate her vulnerability in sharing her insecurities and real life adjustments after the show. It was a quick read, although a bit repetitive at times. 3.5 stars ⭐️. Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the advanced copy for review. I’m rooting for you, Aparna!
August 25, 2022
The show portrays Aparna exactly how her memoir portrays her.
Some people can only be in a relationship with themselves. There is just no room in their life to fit a significant other. They are in love with themselves. How can a person like that possibly extend love to someone else?!
This book was more a clarification about the behind the scenes of the show and how Aparna felt judged/misunderstood/villianfied etc. Hence the book sharing her version and opinions on the events. Fair enough.
The rating is 2 star due to no real take away as a reader. She writes well but the subject matter "herself" just wasn't interesting enough for me (sorry.)
Some people can only be in a relationship with themselves. There is just no room in their life to fit a significant other. They are in love with themselves. How can a person like that possibly extend love to someone else?!
This book was more a clarification about the behind the scenes of the show and how Aparna felt judged/misunderstood/villianfied etc. Hence the book sharing her version and opinions on the events. Fair enough.
The rating is 2 star due to no real take away as a reader. She writes well but the subject matter "herself" just wasn't interesting enough for me (sorry.)
April 7, 2022
Fun read, but I found her as unlikeable in the book as she was in the show.
August 31, 2022
I binge watched S1 and S2 of Indian matchmaking recently and came out of it with a lot of thoughts about this arranged-cum-new-age-dating process. Mostly along the lines of feeling so anxious for the people going through the process, because it looks so hard!
Aparna obviously stood out. I thought she was independent, fierce, knew what she wanted, and just overall assertive. All good qualities. But I also came out feeling, hey, I don't like that chick. When I stumbled upon her book, I felt called out. "She's unlikeable". Literally what I thought she was. So I had to give her another shot through the book. After all, I don't want to continue to perpetrate misogyny, where an independent woman who can speak her mind deserves to be shunned or just branded as brazen and unlikeable. Plus, I seem to be going way faster with memoirs this year than fiction 🤷♀️
After reading the book, I just feel so sad for Aparna. She's just another immigrant girl, who's worked really hard to get where she is, and has her own baggage around her mother's failed marriage, and hence she's super specific on what she really wants. Also her mom clearly raised both daughters to be strong, independent and make their own decisions, so there is a scene when she asks her to relook at her criteria, Aparna says, "no thanks, done that, I am being reasonable", and her mom backs off. Part of the parcel if you're going to want your kid to be independent. You can only weigh in that much.
Listen, Aparna might still meet her unicorn match (here's hoping 🤞), that's not why I feel sad for her. Here's what has happened: this strong woman went on a reality show, and with some creative editing, they managed to make her come off as picky, stubborn and negative. Firstly assertive and knowing and speaking your mind does not equate to picky stubborn and negative. Even so, I would have given her the benefit of doubt if we'd met in person, which I'm guessing most well-intentioned people would (I'm going to assume that people who troll on social media and issue death threats are a different breed of people, not the kind Aparna would encounter on a daily basis at work, in her friend's circle, or any of the dates). What I'm really sad about is that this successful lawyer was unhappy in her job, went on this show thinking she might meet her future husband, got so badly trolled that she did tons of PR and media to deal with it, and then her entire life was derailed. She quit her job, moved to NYC, wrote this book, and is giving her business venture another go. She's embraced this new life with both arms, but it looks like she felt the need to become someone else in the aftermath of the show, instead of staying steadfast in her original path.
Girl - you had so much going for you. You were in what everyone considers a "scary profession" for women, and a lot of the "she's unlikeable" narrative was precisely because you're a lawyer. People inherently don't trust lawyers, women more so. You'd seemingly made it in what is a very male-dominated realm. And you were probably in the 99.9 percentile of well travelled people. And you just sort of let that whole career path go? I get it, you were already looking for a change. But the timing and optics of all this really sucks. You're unlikely to go back to the law, you'll meet these guys, who will wonder why someone on such an unstable career path herself has such high expectations from a partner. Nadia, Manisha, Ashima, Rushali, Ankita - a lot of the women on the show were stereotypes of women in not so high-powered jobs, and hence not too intimidating for men. They all were projected as "likeable". You were one of two beacons of hope, the other being Viral for a highly successful woman in a traditionally male dominated path, to get an equally successful match. I just feel like you gave in.
Aparna says the book is not only about Indian matchmaking, but it's certainly not a sidenote or a single chapter. It is referred to literally throughout the book, with every chapter referring back to it for some reason or another. Almost like everything in her life was building up to this big episode in her life. I just wish this whole thing meant much less to Aparna, and she went on with her business-as-usual life, living it unapologetically. She uses the book to talk a lot about how many women found her empowering, and how she is not going to let these rubbish voices drown her spirit. But I feel like that's exactly what happened. I might be wrong, but I don't know how else to interpret these last couple of years of her life journey.
The book itself is very easy to get through and it was interesting learning about Aparna's other life adventures and struggles including her semester on sea, her semester abroad tryst with racism, sexism and her autoimmune disease diagnosis. As a Sindhi, I particularly connected with the partition story of her nani, and it made me recollect and re-channel my own dadi for her strength and fortitude.
Aparna obviously stood out. I thought she was independent, fierce, knew what she wanted, and just overall assertive. All good qualities. But I also came out feeling, hey, I don't like that chick. When I stumbled upon her book, I felt called out. "She's unlikeable". Literally what I thought she was. So I had to give her another shot through the book. After all, I don't want to continue to perpetrate misogyny, where an independent woman who can speak her mind deserves to be shunned or just branded as brazen and unlikeable. Plus, I seem to be going way faster with memoirs this year than fiction 🤷♀️
After reading the book, I just feel so sad for Aparna. She's just another immigrant girl, who's worked really hard to get where she is, and has her own baggage around her mother's failed marriage, and hence she's super specific on what she really wants. Also her mom clearly raised both daughters to be strong, independent and make their own decisions, so there is a scene when she asks her to relook at her criteria, Aparna says, "no thanks, done that, I am being reasonable", and her mom backs off. Part of the parcel if you're going to want your kid to be independent. You can only weigh in that much.
Listen, Aparna might still meet her unicorn match (here's hoping 🤞), that's not why I feel sad for her. Here's what has happened: this strong woman went on a reality show, and with some creative editing, they managed to make her come off as picky, stubborn and negative. Firstly assertive and knowing and speaking your mind does not equate to picky stubborn and negative. Even so, I would have given her the benefit of doubt if we'd met in person, which I'm guessing most well-intentioned people would (I'm going to assume that people who troll on social media and issue death threats are a different breed of people, not the kind Aparna would encounter on a daily basis at work, in her friend's circle, or any of the dates). What I'm really sad about is that this successful lawyer was unhappy in her job, went on this show thinking she might meet her future husband, got so badly trolled that she did tons of PR and media to deal with it, and then her entire life was derailed. She quit her job, moved to NYC, wrote this book, and is giving her business venture another go. She's embraced this new life with both arms, but it looks like she felt the need to become someone else in the aftermath of the show, instead of staying steadfast in her original path.
Girl - you had so much going for you. You were in what everyone considers a "scary profession" for women, and a lot of the "she's unlikeable" narrative was precisely because you're a lawyer. People inherently don't trust lawyers, women more so. You'd seemingly made it in what is a very male-dominated realm. And you were probably in the 99.9 percentile of well travelled people. And you just sort of let that whole career path go? I get it, you were already looking for a change. But the timing and optics of all this really sucks. You're unlikely to go back to the law, you'll meet these guys, who will wonder why someone on such an unstable career path herself has such high expectations from a partner. Nadia, Manisha, Ashima, Rushali, Ankita - a lot of the women on the show were stereotypes of women in not so high-powered jobs, and hence not too intimidating for men. They all were projected as "likeable". You were one of two beacons of hope, the other being Viral for a highly successful woman in a traditionally male dominated path, to get an equally successful match. I just feel like you gave in.
Aparna says the book is not only about Indian matchmaking, but it's certainly not a sidenote or a single chapter. It is referred to literally throughout the book, with every chapter referring back to it for some reason or another. Almost like everything in her life was building up to this big episode in her life. I just wish this whole thing meant much less to Aparna, and she went on with her business-as-usual life, living it unapologetically. She uses the book to talk a lot about how many women found her empowering, and how she is not going to let these rubbish voices drown her spirit. But I feel like that's exactly what happened. I might be wrong, but I don't know how else to interpret these last couple of years of her life journey.
The book itself is very easy to get through and it was interesting learning about Aparna's other life adventures and struggles including her semester on sea, her semester abroad tryst with racism, sexism and her autoimmune disease diagnosis. As a Sindhi, I particularly connected with the partition story of her nani, and it made me recollect and re-channel my own dadi for her strength and fortitude.
November 23, 2022
While I consider myself firmly in the camp of "women supporting women", I cannot say I disagreed with the title's assessment. I did not walk away any more empowered than I already consider myself. And I definitely did not walk away thinking "poor Aparna, we had it all wrong!". If anything, I resented that her voice echoed the narrative that women/society/big patriarchy are constantly dragging other women down and no self-awareness or accountability is necessary. While elaborating on her Indian Matchmaker story arc, she gave no credit that a discerning viewer would understand that certain scenes had been edited to paint a particular picture; in doing so, she fails to acknowledge that the true interactions lay somewhere in between the show's depiction and her overly-kind revisionist history.
While reading this book, I found myself wondering how an individual can be more out of touch with reality while simultaneously exhibiting the haughtiest of attitudes. Almost denied a semester at sea? How dreadful! Forced to go to Rice University? The worst! Portrayed as something less than a goddess on a dating show she voluntarily signed up for? The nerve!
I suppose my hopes were too high that there would be a moment of clarity where she would stop, assess, and potentially acknowledge, "I'm a successful, interesting, and attractive woman, but maybe I'M the problem." Normalizing critical self-awareness would have been a much more interesting, valuable, and frankly empowering take of the situation, in my opinion.
While reading this book, I found myself wondering how an individual can be more out of touch with reality while simultaneously exhibiting the haughtiest of attitudes. Almost denied a semester at sea? How dreadful! Forced to go to Rice University? The worst! Portrayed as something less than a goddess on a dating show she voluntarily signed up for? The nerve!
I suppose my hopes were too high that there would be a moment of clarity where she would stop, assess, and potentially acknowledge, "I'm a successful, interesting, and attractive woman, but maybe I'M the problem." Normalizing critical self-awareness would have been a much more interesting, valuable, and frankly empowering take of the situation, in my opinion.
August 22, 2022
Dear Aparna, first of all I’d like to apologize for thinking you were insufferable on Indian Matchmaking, for judging you just from some edited clips. After reading your book I felt bad for thinking that way, especial after knowing how some of the men treated you on the show but also how Sima portrayed you. Reading your book truly felt like catching up with a good friend. I’m glad you got to explain your side and so I was able to get to know better the empowering woman you are 💗
As I said before I expected nothing from this book but it delivered everything! If you’ve watched Aparna on Indian Matchmaking this is a must read. I loved every minute I spent on this uplifting journey.
As I said before I expected nothing from this book but it delivered everything! If you’ve watched Aparna on Indian Matchmaking this is a must read. I loved every minute I spent on this uplifting journey.
October 26, 2022
Not the greatest, not the worst. I try so hard to really like Aparna, and legitimately wanted to hear her out and give her a chance. However her wording throughout makes it incredibly difficult. Almost as if she is speaking to impress, coming off sounding elitist. I do wholeheartedly believe in her depiction of Sima… without a doubt.
November 10, 2022
I wanted to read this book after seeing Aparna on Indian Matchmaking. This book had a really slow beginning describing the semester she spent at sea- I got bored of it. I wondered how she was able to get the medicine she needed from the hospital while at sea? She had said this medicine was the reason why she had to stay in Texas for college. Also, I've never heard of giving coworkers black balloons on their 40th birthday.
Read
August 31, 2023I’m not sure what to say. I’m glad I read it. I think, like every situation, there is multiple perspectives and it’s more nuanced than we think.
May 3, 2025
she's likeable
Read
January 23, 2023I'm interested in viewer perception of reality TV, and being that Indian Matchmaking clearly sought to portray Aparna Shewakramani as the "villain" of the show (imo, they may have done this with Viral Joshi, as well), I was curious to hear her side of the story.
I was pleased that this book was NOT all about the show. This is not my usual genre, but I do enjoy memoir-style books if the people are interesting. I really liked the first part of the book, just knowing how Aparna grew up, and how she developed some of the passions and interests that she shared about herself on dates. She's extremely well-traveled, and this aspect of her is portrayed in a very elitist manner on the show (at least I thought it was), but I appreciated knowing the reality of how she became so passionate about traveling and why it's so important to her. I didn't know about Semester at Sea until this book, and I really wish I'd known about it when I was in college. I doubt I would have had Aparna's fortitude to make it something my school would fund (if it didn't), but again, knowing she did things like that gave me more of a sense of who she is as a person.
I have an issue with some of her viewpoints, and sometimes it felt like she wasn't doing enough to consider perspectives outside of her own (particularly as they related to race and socioeconomic privilege), but this is her memoir. And as I've said with previous reviews of memoirs - authors of memoirs are writing about themselves. So they're free to do that as they choose.
As far as readability goes, Aparna knows how to write. I think this is her first book, but it certainly didn't read like someone who has never written a book before.
I was pleased that this book was NOT all about the show. This is not my usual genre, but I do enjoy memoir-style books if the people are interesting. I really liked the first part of the book, just knowing how Aparna grew up, and how she developed some of the passions and interests that she shared about herself on dates. She's extremely well-traveled, and this aspect of her is portrayed in a very elitist manner on the show (at least I thought it was), but I appreciated knowing the reality of how she became so passionate about traveling and why it's so important to her. I didn't know about Semester at Sea until this book, and I really wish I'd known about it when I was in college. I doubt I would have had Aparna's fortitude to make it something my school would fund (if it didn't), but again, knowing she did things like that gave me more of a sense of who she is as a person.
I have an issue with some of her viewpoints, and sometimes it felt like she wasn't doing enough to consider perspectives outside of her own (particularly as they related to race and socioeconomic privilege), but this is her memoir. And as I've said with previous reviews of memoirs - authors of memoirs are writing about themselves. So they're free to do that as they choose.
As far as readability goes, Aparna knows how to write. I think this is her first book, but it certainly didn't read like someone who has never written a book before.
Read
March 29, 2022Aparna Shewakramani may have risen to fame through ‘Indian Matchmaking’, but from reading her book, it is clear that Aparna was a star all along. A quick but raw read, Aparna brings down her walls and welcomes every reader—viewers and non-TV viewers of the Netflix series. Aparna’s memoir is a love story; to herself and to millions of women around the world who should not settle for anything less than what they deserve. While the show attempted to vilify her for her self-assured and no-nonsense personality, Aparna reclaims her storyline by unraveling the truth behind her portrayal on the reality show. From casting to taping, to life after the show aired, “She’s Unlikeable” is a tell-all, biography-style book. In sharing these details, Aparna reminds her audience there are two sides to every story and, above, all, to be kind.
By sharing adverse personal experiences, including those before the show, Aparna helps readers understand how the resilience she previously developed allowed her to tend to her own needs and feelings post-Indian Matchmaking.
Aparna Shewakramani is bold and beautiful. She inspires readers (and viewers of “Indian Matchmaking”) to realize their self-worth, participate in self-reflection, and go beyond what makes them comfortable—she did, and she’s now thriving.
By sharing adverse personal experiences, including those before the show, Aparna helps readers understand how the resilience she previously developed allowed her to tend to her own needs and feelings post-Indian Matchmaking.
Aparna Shewakramani is bold and beautiful. She inspires readers (and viewers of “Indian Matchmaking”) to realize their self-worth, participate in self-reflection, and go beyond what makes them comfortable—she did, and she’s now thriving.
February 17, 2022
Provocative, original, and defiant --- just like the author!
September 25, 2022
i don't disagree with the premise, but she just comes off as soooo defensive it undermines her point. plus the whole trying-to-seem-relatable-by-minimizing-my-privilege-and-magnifying-my-struggles gets old in seconds.
I read the "i got a six figure salary immediately after graduating and had no debt so I missed out on bonding over only affording ramen" and lost my mind lmao
Having watch her on Indian Matchmaking, I was curious to see what this horrible example of why women are single in their late 30s had to say for herself. I'm aware that reality TV is edited and they probably took some of the god awful things she said on the show out of context. I also know Aparna types in real life ... you know the type of women (you know those singletons who are so hateful of men and think so highly of themselves that their bitterness and arrogance shines through as ugliness) and I wanted to understand what makes people this way. Finally, after bingeing the second season a friend and I were left wondering about a burning question 'Is Aparna a virgin?' (Spoiler: It's still a grey area!).
Sure, this book did show a more human side to the infamous Aparna. Understanding how growing up in a single family home shaped her idea of men and her experiences of race dynamics in Texas resulted her only wanting to date a certain type of South Asian man. But regardless, on Netflix as in real life, the image you present to people matters and most of the time people don't have the time or inclination to get to know your backstory. While Indian Matchmaking certainly focused on her negative qualities to create a villainous character, she still comes across a exceptionally horrible human being even in her own words (the kind of person that will lie about their dog dying to get on a plane!).
Unless you have an interest in the show or traditional matchmaking, this book holds no value for you. She provided some insights into why the characters in the show (all fairly good looking, well-established people and integrated Americans) were so insistent on finding a partner of the same ethnic background and having to deal with all the associated challenges. Honestly, the author did herself no favours by writing this book. The best thing she can do for herself is admit that dating in your 30s/40s is hard, the poor quality of people left sucks but also by this age people who are single for a reason and you need to take accountability for it rather than hating on the world.
I read the "i got a six figure salary immediately after graduating and had no debt so I missed out on bonding over only affording ramen" and lost my mind lmao
Having watch her on Indian Matchmaking, I was curious to see what this horrible example of why women are single in their late 30s had to say for herself. I'm aware that reality TV is edited and they probably took some of the god awful things she said on the show out of context. I also know Aparna types in real life ... you know the type of women (you know those singletons who are so hateful of men and think so highly of themselves that their bitterness and arrogance shines through as ugliness) and I wanted to understand what makes people this way. Finally, after bingeing the second season a friend and I were left wondering about a burning question 'Is Aparna a virgin?' (Spoiler: It's still a grey area!).
Sure, this book did show a more human side to the infamous Aparna. Understanding how growing up in a single family home shaped her idea of men and her experiences of race dynamics in Texas resulted her only wanting to date a certain type of South Asian man. But regardless, on Netflix as in real life, the image you present to people matters and most of the time people don't have the time or inclination to get to know your backstory. While Indian Matchmaking certainly focused on her negative qualities to create a villainous character, she still comes across a exceptionally horrible human being even in her own words (the kind of person that will lie about their dog dying to get on a plane!).
Unless you have an interest in the show or traditional matchmaking, this book holds no value for you. She provided some insights into why the characters in the show (all fairly good looking, well-established people and integrated Americans) were so insistent on finding a partner of the same ethnic background and having to deal with all the associated challenges. Honestly, the author did herself no favours by writing this book. The best thing she can do for herself is admit that dating in your 30s/40s is hard, the poor quality of people left sucks but also by this age people who are single for a reason and you need to take accountability for it rather than hating on the world.
March 20, 2022
I immediately knew I had to read Aparna’s book when I saw it. No matter what your opinion is on Aparna, she was definitely unforgettable. I knew I would be in for a ride through the title: She’s Unlikeable: And Other Lies That Bring Women Down.
No surprise that this “docuseries” was more reality TV show than anything. It didn’t even register to me that this was a docuseries until I read She’s Unlikeable. This was Aparna’s chance to tell her perspective free from the dramatic editing of reality TV.
I truly believe Aparna’s depiction on the show was misrepresented. Every story needs a villain, and she made it really easy to turn into one. Especially in reality TV when our brains need to distinguish heroes and antagonists.
This book was Aparna’s chance to use her platform to clear her name and tell her perspective of things irrespective of the editors. I wasn’t surprised that this was the focus of a majority of the book, but I guess I was disappointed that there weren't more of the other things.
I loved having the glimpse inside of Aparna’s life that the cameras didn’t capture. She got to show us some of her life-changing experiences, some of her sorrow, and some of her aspirations. She had her chance to show us that she is a multidimensional person who loves and fears and dreams.
I felt like the depth was still lacking. This is understandable because of the barrage of hate she gets and the demands from so many strangers to have access to her life. This was her vulnerability in her own terms.
I think I also expected more connection to the experiences of women everywhere. What I mean by that is that I wanted more of how her experience connected to the concepts of racism and misogyny on a larger scale. But at the same time, she didn’t owe us that either.
The cool part of memoirs is that it’s a chance for people to share their stories on their own terms and attempt to make connections so people don’t feel so alone. They can choose to write their own narrative, choosing which parts of themselves they share.
All in all, Aparna’s voice is important. We need more role models to show us the importance of asserting our boundaries, telling our own stories, and being unapologetic about it.
No surprise that this “docuseries” was more reality TV show than anything. It didn’t even register to me that this was a docuseries until I read She’s Unlikeable. This was Aparna’s chance to tell her perspective free from the dramatic editing of reality TV.
I truly believe Aparna’s depiction on the show was misrepresented. Every story needs a villain, and she made it really easy to turn into one. Especially in reality TV when our brains need to distinguish heroes and antagonists.
This book was Aparna’s chance to use her platform to clear her name and tell her perspective of things irrespective of the editors. I wasn’t surprised that this was the focus of a majority of the book, but I guess I was disappointed that there weren't more of the other things.
I loved having the glimpse inside of Aparna’s life that the cameras didn’t capture. She got to show us some of her life-changing experiences, some of her sorrow, and some of her aspirations. She had her chance to show us that she is a multidimensional person who loves and fears and dreams.
I felt like the depth was still lacking. This is understandable because of the barrage of hate she gets and the demands from so many strangers to have access to her life. This was her vulnerability in her own terms.
I think I also expected more connection to the experiences of women everywhere. What I mean by that is that I wanted more of how her experience connected to the concepts of racism and misogyny on a larger scale. But at the same time, she didn’t owe us that either.
The cool part of memoirs is that it’s a chance for people to share their stories on their own terms and attempt to make connections so people don’t feel so alone. They can choose to write their own narrative, choosing which parts of themselves they share.
All in all, Aparna’s voice is important. We need more role models to show us the importance of asserting our boundaries, telling our own stories, and being unapologetic about it.
February 15, 2022
While I wasn't familiar with the author prior to listening to this book, I was interested in what she had to say after appearing on a "reality" tv show. I was a little surprised how shocked she was at the editing and her portrayal as a villain and her resultant notoriety. Had this been filmed a decade or more ago, yes, it would be more surprising, but with reality tv what it's devolved into over the past couple decades and the numerous social media outlets where everyone shares every thought and reaction with the world, I would think there would have been some hint of how this could all go awry. Having grown up in the days of the Real World and then Road Rules and seeing some of the backlash some of the participants encountered even back then, I would hope more people considering taking on roles in shows of this sort would be more prepared for the aftermath. I'm not blaming Shewakramani for being naive, just surprised she thought opening up her personal life would not possibly have some negative repercussions in this day and age. It's unfortunate these shows don't do more to prepare the participants for possible fallout following the show airing.
I enjoyed this book and am glad I received the audiobook version as it's read by Shewakramani. She is a well-educated woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to be herself, even after being portrayed in a negative light. She also encourages others to be themselves. It's refreshing to see someone in the public eye who seems to be presenting who they really are vs. trying to morph into a plastic version of themselves in pursuit of what will get them the most "likes" and "followers". I would hope this book also serves as a warning to future "reality" tv stars that it's not all sunshine and roses and these shows don't necessarily have the participants' best interests in mind. I miss the days of documentaries making the effort to show real life rather than editing for bigger ratings. Not sure I'll check out the Netflix show, but I might just to see how the participants were edited into their intended roles.
Thanks to Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for the ALC in exchange for my honest review.
I enjoyed this book and am glad I received the audiobook version as it's read by Shewakramani. She is a well-educated woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to be herself, even after being portrayed in a negative light. She also encourages others to be themselves. It's refreshing to see someone in the public eye who seems to be presenting who they really are vs. trying to morph into a plastic version of themselves in pursuit of what will get them the most "likes" and "followers". I would hope this book also serves as a warning to future "reality" tv stars that it's not all sunshine and roses and these shows don't necessarily have the participants' best interests in mind. I miss the days of documentaries making the effort to show real life rather than editing for bigger ratings. Not sure I'll check out the Netflix show, but I might just to see how the participants were edited into their intended roles.
Thanks to Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for the ALC in exchange for my honest review.
March 23, 2022
Thank you to Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for an ARC of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Aparna Shewakramani, a single woman from Houston, became a well known “unlikeable” cast member of the Netflix show Indian Matchmaking. This book is about her experience on the show, her sudden and unexpected “fame”, but more importantly who she really is as a person.
I did watch Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. First, I don’t believe you need to have seen the show in order to enjoy or find value in this story. Admittedly I was drawn to this book because I DID watch the show and was interested in hearing from Aparna because reality TV lacks actual reality either by some of the shows being scripted or by the editing process heavily influencing the narrative.
I wasn’t exposed to any of the negative feedback surrounding Aparna after I watched the show, so I was truly shocked people found her unlikeable. Sima, the matchmaker, had come across worse in my opinion. I loved that Aparna knew what she was looking for and didn’t want to settle or compromise when it came to her life partner. I can see how some of the editing wasn’t favorable, especially after finishing this book.
What I loved about this book, more than the insight to the show, was learning about Aparna. Honestly, what an impressive woman. I loved hearing about her South Asian culture, her travel adventures and her personal and professional accomplishments. I was also unaware of her medical diagnosis. Aparna is intelligent, insightful, determined, bold, classy and a great role model for, not just South Asian women, but all women. Through everything she is humble, appreciative and has stayed true to herself.
Since I listened to the audiobook, I would like to say how much I appreciate it when the author does the narrating. Thank you to Aparna for sharing her story.
Aparna Shewakramani, a single woman from Houston, became a well known “unlikeable” cast member of the Netflix show Indian Matchmaking. This book is about her experience on the show, her sudden and unexpected “fame”, but more importantly who she really is as a person.
I did watch Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. First, I don’t believe you need to have seen the show in order to enjoy or find value in this story. Admittedly I was drawn to this book because I DID watch the show and was interested in hearing from Aparna because reality TV lacks actual reality either by some of the shows being scripted or by the editing process heavily influencing the narrative.
I wasn’t exposed to any of the negative feedback surrounding Aparna after I watched the show, so I was truly shocked people found her unlikeable. Sima, the matchmaker, had come across worse in my opinion. I loved that Aparna knew what she was looking for and didn’t want to settle or compromise when it came to her life partner. I can see how some of the editing wasn’t favorable, especially after finishing this book.
What I loved about this book, more than the insight to the show, was learning about Aparna. Honestly, what an impressive woman. I loved hearing about her South Asian culture, her travel adventures and her personal and professional accomplishments. I was also unaware of her medical diagnosis. Aparna is intelligent, insightful, determined, bold, classy and a great role model for, not just South Asian women, but all women. Through everything she is humble, appreciative and has stayed true to herself.
Since I listened to the audiobook, I would like to say how much I appreciate it when the author does the narrating. Thank you to Aparna for sharing her story.
June 7, 2022
"I also knew i had to speak up for the women to come. The strong, determined, pratical and ambitious women who would be the next 'villian' on the next show. The ones the world would watch and think SHE'S UNLIKEABLE " says Aparna Shewakramani of the Indian Matchmaking.
When Aparna Shewakramani appeared on a reality show 'Indian Matchmaking' she received a lot of hate from the viewers and was labelled as a villian...she was called stubborn and unstable just because SHE STOOD FOR WHAT SHE WANTED.
In this book Aparna not only shares her experience from the reality show but also talks overall about her life- how she was looked down for not being pretty( dark skin, less height)....for not being married at 34...her mother's unhappy marriage...her autoimmune disease....her entrepreneurial success.
Aparna strongly stresses on the fact that Women should be what they want to be, not what others want them to be.
It was great reading about Aparna's journey. I like her 'no non-sense' attitude...and how bold and bravely she dealt with the bad phases in her life. How she learnt from those bad phases. Love what she's trying to convey through this book. Majority women will relate with whats written in the book.
The intial chapters were good to read. In between the book did slow down a bit. So i kept it down for a while and then resumed reading it after few days. Nonetheless i was in awe after reading about her journey of how she have travelled the world and stayed and studied at various places and her never give up and determined attitude. It was just amazing. The book will make you look back and think of how many women you have judged like this and hated them. After reading this book i am saying 'Be Like Aparna'.
When Aparna Shewakramani appeared on a reality show 'Indian Matchmaking' she received a lot of hate from the viewers and was labelled as a villian...she was called stubborn and unstable just because SHE STOOD FOR WHAT SHE WANTED.
In this book Aparna not only shares her experience from the reality show but also talks overall about her life- how she was looked down for not being pretty( dark skin, less height)....for not being married at 34...her mother's unhappy marriage...her autoimmune disease....her entrepreneurial success.
Aparna strongly stresses on the fact that Women should be what they want to be, not what others want them to be.
It was great reading about Aparna's journey. I like her 'no non-sense' attitude...and how bold and bravely she dealt with the bad phases in her life. How she learnt from those bad phases. Love what she's trying to convey through this book. Majority women will relate with whats written in the book.
The intial chapters were good to read. In between the book did slow down a bit. So i kept it down for a while and then resumed reading it after few days. Nonetheless i was in awe after reading about her journey of how she have travelled the world and stayed and studied at various places and her never give up and determined attitude. It was just amazing. The book will make you look back and think of how many women you have judged like this and hated them. After reading this book i am saying 'Be Like Aparna'.
April 10, 2022
I was given a copy of the She’s Unlikeable audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
Prior to reading She’s Unlikeable I was aware of Ms. Shewakramani from the show Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. Since it had been 2 years since I watched the show, I remembered her as a very strong and successful lawyer that didn’t have success on the show. This book walks through her experience on the show but also her life before and after the show.
This book is a memoir of her life and not a self help book. The book is written to revolve around an idea or a topic and not in chronological order of her life. There were multiple times through the book that I was impressed by the connections or points she was able to make. I was never lost during the book, however towards the end of the book I had trouble distinguishing where some events fit into her overall timeline.
Throughout the book Ms. Shewakramani focuses on how her upbringing in New York City and Houston with her Mother and sister developed her as a person. How college, a Semester at Sea and law school further opened her eyes to other cultures or norms outside of her own. And how these experiences played into her negative perception on Indian Matchmaking.
This overall was a great read. I enjoyed hear Ms. Shewakramani’s side of the story and her dialogue on being a successful woman on reality tv.
Prior to reading She’s Unlikeable I was aware of Ms. Shewakramani from the show Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. Since it had been 2 years since I watched the show, I remembered her as a very strong and successful lawyer that didn’t have success on the show. This book walks through her experience on the show but also her life before and after the show.
This book is a memoir of her life and not a self help book. The book is written to revolve around an idea or a topic and not in chronological order of her life. There were multiple times through the book that I was impressed by the connections or points she was able to make. I was never lost during the book, however towards the end of the book I had trouble distinguishing where some events fit into her overall timeline.
Throughout the book Ms. Shewakramani focuses on how her upbringing in New York City and Houston with her Mother and sister developed her as a person. How college, a Semester at Sea and law school further opened her eyes to other cultures or norms outside of her own. And how these experiences played into her negative perception on Indian Matchmaking.
This overall was a great read. I enjoyed hear Ms. Shewakramani’s side of the story and her dialogue on being a successful woman on reality tv.
March 18, 2022
I absolutely loved Indian Matchnaking when I binge-watched it at the start of the pandemic, so when I saw that one of the shows stars, Aparna, had written a book, I knew I had to read it!
It wasn’t really until recently that I realized so much of “reality tv” is really scripted or heavily edited to steer the narrative in a certain direction. This became even more clear after listening to Aparnas side of the story, detailing the time leading up to the show, the filming process and the fallout after the show was released, portraying Aparna in a negative light and making her out to be the villain of the show.
Society has a way of really trying to break down strong women like Aparna, who was instilled with good values and a hard work ethic from her mother, resulting in Aparna being a successful lawyer with a love of travel who now has formed a successful luxury travel enterprise.
Highly enjoyed this audio copy, read by the author herself. Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to review.
It wasn’t really until recently that I realized so much of “reality tv” is really scripted or heavily edited to steer the narrative in a certain direction. This became even more clear after listening to Aparnas side of the story, detailing the time leading up to the show, the filming process and the fallout after the show was released, portraying Aparna in a negative light and making her out to be the villain of the show.
Society has a way of really trying to break down strong women like Aparna, who was instilled with good values and a hard work ethic from her mother, resulting in Aparna being a successful lawyer with a love of travel who now has formed a successful luxury travel enterprise.
Highly enjoyed this audio copy, read by the author herself. Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to review.
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