Going Nowhere Fast

Joe & Dottie Loudermilk #1

by Gar Anthony Haywood

Planning a fun-filled retirement after kicking out their grown kids and selling their home for a state-of-the-art Airstream trailer, Joe and Dottie Loudermilk begin the time of their lives until they discover a corpse in their bathroom. Reprint.

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, Cozy Mystery, Humor, Thriller, Amazon, Mystery Thriller

210 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

About the author

aka Ray Shannon.

Gar Anthony Harwood also writes as Ray Shannon. He has won the Shamus and Anthony Award for his mystery fiction. He writes stand-alone novels and short-stories as well as series. He has also written for the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times, written scripts for television drama series (e.g. New York Undercover and the District) and Movies of the Week for ABC. He is a member of the Mystery Writers of America.

Reviews

[Mark Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Joe Loudermilk took his retirement from the Los Angeles police department, he and his wife, Dottie, bought an Airstream trailer and hit the road, enjoying the sights and sounds of wherever they decide to visit. They also left their grown kids behind, so returning to their trailer one day, they are surprised to find their youngest son inside. Even more surprising is their son’s announcement that there is a dead body in the bathroom. None of them recognize the corpse. Who is he? Why is their son there?

I grew up camping, so this is one of several series I’ve wanted to try that involve camping. The plot is fun, with plenty of twists and turns that kept me guessing until the end. I did find a couple of the characters – Joe especially – annoying. I’m sure he was supposed to be funny, but the fact that he seemed to always be mad at others didn’t make me laugh. Still, this is a minor complaint, and I loved Dottie, our main character. The book was originally released in the mid-90’s, so it provides a fun reminder of just how much our life has changed since then. At least the physical book I read does; I don’t know if anything was updated before the ebook was released. This book has been sitting on my to be read pile for years, and I’m glad I finally pulled it out and read it.

Read my full review at Carstairs Considers.

[T de V · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never read this series before (starts with GOING NOWHERE FAST © 1994). They're as wonderful today as if they were written today (minus instant cell phone communication).

The protagonists are a blissfully married African-American couple who have run away from their adult children. For anybody who'd like a good chuckle (possibly parents of adult children particularly), these are a fast, entertaining, suspenseful, well-written read. Having read the first in the series, I ordered BAD NEWS TRAVELS FAST from my library. Turns out I couldn't wait, so I bought the ebook (Gar has recently made the titles available as ebooks).

Rumour has it Gar is working on the next book in the series. I can't wait!


http://www.reviewsbytdev.com/content/...

[Wendi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Haywood took a break from his regular mystery writing to create a lighthearted, utterly unserious pair of unwilling detectives in the for. Of Dottie and Joe Loudermouth. Joe is a retired cop, huge, opinionated, stubborn, strong, and black. Dottie is more of the managing little woman type. They have five adult kids, all various sorts of troublesome, and have sold their house and taken an airstream trailer in the road. Their youngest and most troublesome kid finds them anyway, along with an unknown corpse on the toilet in the bathroom.
This is farcical fun, not at all a serious whodunnit. Taken as such, it was an amusing read, and I will look for other Dottie and Joe stories.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cozy mystery that tries at times too hard to be hilarious but was nevertheless entertaining and worth proceeding to the next one. Dottie Loudermilk is a force of nature. She’s a busybody. She’s retired and embarked on a new lifestyle with her Airstream trailer, Lucille. No sooner does she and her retired policeman husband, Joe, hit the great American open road and successfully flee from their five helpless adult children than a body is found in their bathroom at the Grand Canyon along with one of their hapless and helpless sons.

[Kim G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Going Nowhere Fast was the first in this series. You have retired married couple Joe and Dottie Loudermilk sold their home and hit the road. With Joe precious RV, where ever the way takes them, which they go to Arizona to the Grand Canyon. Joe and Dottie go for their daily run come back to find their youngest son Bad Dog (Theodore) in their RV and a dead man in their bathroom. The adventure takes off from there what a hilarious story great plot a lot of twists and turns in the story. I genuinely love the dialog between and Joe and Dottie and their kids. I wish there were more books in this series that I would like to have read more adventures with the Loudermild's

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing tale of mayhem and murder, the perfect palate cleanser to read between more serious novels.

[Madeline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book. It's a beginning of a series that I started years ago. I love this author and want to finish reading all of his books. It was entertaining and a quick read.

[Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my second adventure with the Loudermilks, and I was thoroughly entertained. The narrator provides humorous thoughts on parenting, and a curiosity that leads to potentially deeper trouble than may be caused by finding a dead body in their Airstream trailer while at the Grand Canyon.
Dottie and Joe Loudermilk retired in their early fifties and now live in the Airstream wherever the road takes them. While most often, that is away from their children, their youngest manages to find them, and trouble certainly follows.
Having a mother who both loves mystery stories and threatened to go from child to child in a camper probably made this even funnier to me. Quick read with a satisfying conclusion.

[Denise Spicer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great mystery set in an Airstream Travel Trailer. While camping in the Grand Canyon, retirees Joe and Dottie find a dead body in their bathroom. Dealing with their deadbeat son and the local cops, they try to figure out who killed the stranger and why. Follow this quick read to an unusual conclusion.

[coty ☆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like Joe and Dottie a little bit, but don't really care for the borderline child abuse in the way they treat their son. Danny's character was a whole mess. The plot feels like it was thrown together at the last minute, just very boring and not exactly the most put-together. But it's nice to see a couple that's been married for a long time who genuinely love each other.

[Dan Blackley · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fun book! Joe and Dottie are RVing throughout America to get away from their kids. Along their way, they find that their kids are involved with dubious people. I really enjoyed these books and was disappointed to find that there are only two. Went to a Mystery conference and asked Mr. Haywood about writing more and he said he, "wasn't interested in writing more of them."

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Airsteam love

Fun cozy mystery with a fun family finding the clues. I've wondered about a couple working on the mysteries and I think I've found a darn near perfect pair. I will be reading more of this series

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very quick read and quite the page turner. I was surprised by the parent-son relationship. Very different from my own upbringing. I heard Gar Anthony Haywood in a webinar about Black crime writers. He is an interesting guy. I was glad to hear of this book at that time.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good book

You people should just read this book yourselves and write your own review on this novel yourself and I really enjoyed reading this book very much so. Shelley MA

[Terrie Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hysterical. I was laughing out loud while reading the first paragraph. An enjoyable book. I highly recommend it. Can't wait to find the next book about these two and their escapades.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good story, I’d read others by this author

I really enjoyed the story, I would read others by this author, however I had an issue with this eBook. There were very distracting typos (4)... I had to sit and figure out what word would fit where the typos were. 🙁

[Flintinterpreter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very good book. It was funny. And at the same time, there was a mystery going on.

[Dietrich West-Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my usual mystery. My sister recommended it to me. Black writer with Black characters. So-so mystery and someone characters. I will give the series another chance since it was his first book.

[Jake · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok kind of read. Read like a potential movie script more than a book. The funny parts that were meant to be funny were not really that funny.

[Sherry Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sorry boring for me

I ended up skipping through the biggest majority of the book. It just never really caught my interest. Even with a dead guy found on the toilet of the trailer.

[Charlie · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 and 1/2 stars - starts slow but picks up. Still not going to be an ongoing series for me.

[Randee Baty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Joe and Dottie Loudermilk are fortunate to be taking early retirement in their early 50's. They bought an Airstream and hit the road for the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately, their youngest and most disreputable son shows up just about the time they find a dead body in their bathroom? Coincidence? Add some mobsters and a ticked-off football player and you're headed for a wild ride.

I suspect reviews of this mystery will vary widely because it is a very distinct genre that isn't going to appeal to everyone. It doesn't appeal to me. It is in the "wacky hi-jinks" field of mystery. I love funny mysteries but this is much more of a slapstick mystery. It is well written and if you like crazy capers, then you will like this one.

There were two specific things that contributed to me just not feeling this one. First, you couldn't solve the mystery yourself because you don't have all the evidence available. Until they tell you whodunit, you can't know. Second, the main characters are in their early 50's and continually talk about how old they are. As a person in that age group, I don't feel old so the whole thing didn't ring true. I should add a third thing, Joe Loudermilk is a retired policeman and yet blatantly disregards all police procedure. Annoying.

I'm not saying his is not a bad book, just not a book for me. It's a short, easy read that will appeal to those who are into this genre.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

First I want to thank whomever it was who first e-mailed me about this fledging mystery series by the author of the Aaron Gunner mysteries. The e-mailer (for the life of me I can't remember her name, sorry) was looking for the author of a hilarious series of books featuring a retired couple who traveled the country with an Airstream trailer and happened upon murders and such. A quick response from the Delphi mystery board told me Gar Haywood, and out of curiosity I picked up Going Nowhere Fast and was introduced to Joe and Dottie Loudermilk. While the mystery -- a dead man is found on the Loudermilks' chemical-flush toilet and their wayward son is found cowering in the closet -- has its moments of twists and intrigue, the true star of this novel is wise-cracking Dottie. Having forsaken the stagnant retired life of puttering around the garden and waiting to die, she and former cop husband Joe hit the road, much to the chagrin of mostly unseen children, affectionately known by their parents as "pains in the ass." Choosing Dottie to narrate this story not only uplifts the action with a quick wit, but it smooths together the rough patches of the story.

One might even forget that this is a mystery. Going Nowhere Fast does go somewhere, straight to the funny bone.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an older mystery, first in a short series, that I read as part of an online book challenge. (Paperback Swap 2014 Mystery Challenge) The main characters are a retired couple - former police detective Joe Loudermilk and his spouse Dottie Loudermilk. They are on the road, having sold their house and bought a brand-new Airstream trailer. Their intention is to travel continuously, having left their financial affairs in the hands of their most responsible grown child. Having raised their five children, they're essentially running away from home so their kids can learn to be independent! It looks like they're realizing their dream - just the two of them - until they wake up to a corpse in their bathroom one morning. What follows is a slightly madcap "cozy" mystery, with Dottie as the person who just has to figure out what the dead man was doing in their trailer - and whether their least responsible child (who shows up at the same time) had anything to do with it. Cozies aren't usually my favorite mystery genre, and I doubt I'll read the others in this series, but it was adequate entertainment.

[Shelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I missed the description of the book being about a middle-aged black couple. Nothing wrong with this or the writing style except it felt like the author was trying to hide the fact that his characters were black and it just felt weird. Fun and witty and a light read I thought it was okay and would have given it higher marks if I hadn't had such a strange vibe. There were some good quotes and I especially liked the description of People magazine being described as journalism, funny stuff! There's also a fantastic little diddy about kids bribing your affections and devotion with about a minute of "I Love You Mom" and thinking you're buying it! Which of course we do!

"Sometimes, motherhood makes you feel like you've got every man on the planet by the short hairs. It's great." (250)

"worriers tend to lose their minds if they aren't kept abreast of what's happening with their loved ones." (1697)

"Putting something behind you and putting it out of your mind, however, is not always the same thing." (1961)

[Deb Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read with some problems. Quite a few typos which were distracting. Thought it was supposed to be funny, filled with hijinks; I finished the book and I'm still waiting for that chuckle and the fun stuff to begin. Characters really need fleshing out. Joe too often appears to be an immature jerk. The kid Bad Dog is really out there. Daughter Mo who is supposed to be an attorney is seriously lacking. And Dottie, all the 'baby' this and 'baby' that is incredibly low brow and gets old fast and she seems to have no personality or traits other than manipulating her family, and no other interests. And none of them seem to have a clue about camping. Plot leaves something to be desired; the premise was good but it wasn't worked through. Despite all the problems, I didn't hate it. It's the first of a series so I'll chalk it up to the author not yet fully knowing his characters - even though as an experienced writer he should have known better. I'll give the second a try, but the first chapter better grab my attention and hold it or I'm finished with the series and author.

[Angie Boyter]

I thought the concept of a mystery featuring a retired middle-class black couple traveling in their motor home around the US sounded like a nice set-up, and it started out intriguingly--nice first-person narrator, and the corpse shows up in a VERY interesting location right in the first scene. But it went downhill from there. The pace was slow, and there wasn't enough to keep up my interest in between (despite a very promising setting the Grand Canyon country). Too many implausible things kept happening. I stuck it out through 70% of the book and then decided I could spend my time much more enjoyably on something else in my TBR stack. It's a shame---the author has won a number of awards, and I expected better. HOWEVER, I note this was written in the 90s. Perhaps he honed his skills later.

I read this in e-book form, where it is currently free. Goodreads doesn't list an e-book.

[C.S. S Bernhardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this book and what a delight. Anyone who has ever been around retired people and their Airstreams will know this book is right on.
Joe and Dottie Loudermilk have retired bought themselves a siver Airstream and have run away from the children. Unfortunetaly the youngest one Theodore (Bad Dog) has found them and along with him comes lots of trouble, starting with a dead guy on their toilet.
I felt the main characters were warm and real. The banter that goes on with in the family is often the way it is in a family that loves each other but wants a little space.
This is a good cozy mystery lots of little twist and turns nothing to heavy. It was perfect for a hot summer read. I'd recommend it to my friends with a big glass of Ice Tea.

[Cathie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will get more of his books!!!

These books are FUN!!! I will definitely be reading more about the Loudermilks!!! I love that though they are black Mr Haywood does not play any discrimination cards, and he could have very easily. As a white person this is truly something that makes it wonderful to read a black author's books. This is not the first black author I have read and it won't be my last. I love diversity and will read fiction by any author once. It's truly wonderful to see different ideas on living from other races and ethnicities.

[Ryan Mishap · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Loudermilks--a retired african-american couple (Joe a former cop and Dottie) head out to the Grand Canyon in pulling their new Airstream. Returning to their trailer one afternoon, they find a dead man on their toilet and this sets off an adventure that includes their ne'er-do-well son, a pro football player, mobsters and the FBI.
The best thing in the whole madcap book is how Joe gets out of the clutches of the mob guys when they encounter a fellow Airstream enthusiast.