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Lifting the Lid: A memoir born of adoption
Lifting the Lid - a memoir born of adoption is a compelling story told by a distinctive voice with heart and humour about identity, belonging and a woman's search for her biological truth. It is an exploration by the author, as an adopted baby girl, growing up in Newcastle, Australia in the 1970s and 1980s - of assimilating and clashing with culture, gender and societal norms. Anyone connected to adoption or interested in family history and Australia's social landscape from the mid-twentieth century to the present will love this book. Lifting the Lid explores identity through the author's experience as the product of a sexual encounter between a 'fine' protestant girl and a migrant Italian Catholic musician in the mid-sixties, traversing uncharted territory where truth and secrets live in parallel across Newcastle, Sydney, Tasmania and Melbourne. Growing pains from childhood to adolescence and the coming of age towards adulthood are vividly described through imagery of dreams and references to pop culture as the inner workings of a developing mind unfolds as the author searches for her place. Who is 'Condom Man'? Will the band get back together? Why does heartbreak feel like your heart is breaking? The answers unravel the memory threads of interconnected families and stories of social change that continues to affect families everywhere. Uniquely Australian, yet universal in thought, this memoir illustrates how identity is linked to heritage and the fallout from denial of the truth.
312 pages, Paperback
Published January 28, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 27, 2022
I absolutely loved this book b/c I am an adoptee too. It was so very validating for me to read of that existential ache of 'longing to belong' since in hindsight I had felt it all my life.
Karen Ingram had adoptive parents who at least told her the truth about her identity - my mother lied to me about it when I asked her at the age of 12 or 13 b/c my alcoholic father had told some of my friends. After my friends went home I sat Mum & Dad down & asked if it was true. They said no. Then at 44, whilst coming off antidepressants I'd been on for 6 years, she decided to tell me it was true.
Karen's story is very well written, entertaining and incredibly sad at times. So much so, there were stages I could not continue reading until the grief passed. I personally could not be more grateful for this book as in all honesty it provided me with that elusive sense of belonging and an understanding that these stories always contain sadness - but at the same time joy.
Karen Ingram had adoptive parents who at least told her the truth about her identity - my mother lied to me about it when I asked her at the age of 12 or 13 b/c my alcoholic father had told some of my friends. After my friends went home I sat Mum & Dad down & asked if it was true. They said no. Then at 44, whilst coming off antidepressants I'd been on for 6 years, she decided to tell me it was true.
Karen's story is very well written, entertaining and incredibly sad at times. So much so, there were stages I could not continue reading until the grief passed. I personally could not be more grateful for this book as in all honesty it provided me with that elusive sense of belonging and an understanding that these stories always contain sadness - but at the same time joy.
March 11, 2022
It is a basic human right to know who your parents are. Without this knowledge the person is potentially destined to a life of genetic bewilderment. Adoptees know this lived experienced, alongside all those who have been denied their birth right to grow up within their biological family. I am deeply moved by Karen's writing. Her bravery in openly telling her story, is so very admirable. As an adoptee it is hard reading, because everything Karen writes, is so very true of my experience. Yet, to read a fellow adoptee's memoir is empowering, to know I am not alone is reassuring. The world needs more of these works and we need big name publishers to print our culturally important story telling. Sadly, most adoptive memoir in Australia is self published, as is 'Lifting the lid'.
I have working my way through the collection of published adoptee truthtelling and
'Lifting the lid' is easily one of the best Australian adoptive memoirs I have read yet! Karen certainly lifts the lid on the complex web which adoption inflicts on those of us who are adopted adults. None of us would have chosen adoption for our newborn selves, instinctively all we wanted was our mother. Society needs to acknowledge the newborns experience and the tonne of significant research which counters the normalised narrative that newborns will never remember their primal wound of mother loss. Important lessons we can learn from Karen's story -
Writing can be healing
Reunions can be beautiful experiences, but nothing is guaranteed.
Relationships with found family are fragile like glass
Adoptees try to please everyone around them, often forgetting to put themselves first. This can be to the detriment of their health and wellbeing
Complete strangers can be the kindest people you will ever know
Adoptees seek their truth and this must be supported and facilitated by family, society and govt. policy.
AND If you hold the key to someones parentage, please let them open the lock to what is rightfully theirs.
Without giving away details, the final scene would make an awesome initial scene should Lifitng the lid become a film! Wishing you every success with your work Karen!
I have working my way through the collection of published adoptee truthtelling and
'Lifting the lid' is easily one of the best Australian adoptive memoirs I have read yet! Karen certainly lifts the lid on the complex web which adoption inflicts on those of us who are adopted adults. None of us would have chosen adoption for our newborn selves, instinctively all we wanted was our mother. Society needs to acknowledge the newborns experience and the tonne of significant research which counters the normalised narrative that newborns will never remember their primal wound of mother loss. Important lessons we can learn from Karen's story -
Writing can be healing
Reunions can be beautiful experiences, but nothing is guaranteed.
Relationships with found family are fragile like glass
Adoptees try to please everyone around them, often forgetting to put themselves first. This can be to the detriment of their health and wellbeing
Complete strangers can be the kindest people you will ever know
Adoptees seek their truth and this must be supported and facilitated by family, society and govt. policy.
AND If you hold the key to someones parentage, please let them open the lock to what is rightfully theirs.
Without giving away details, the final scene would make an awesome initial scene should Lifitng the lid become a film! Wishing you every success with your work Karen!
June 27, 2022
My initial thoughts on this book are still true - it’s the new Looking For Alibrandi, but through the heartfelt story of searching for your biological truth.
It’s a story that pulls you through Newcastle and Melbourne suburbia in search for identity and family ties, on the backdrop of the harshness and secrecy of adoption in an era gone by.
Highly recommend reading.
It’s a story that pulls you through Newcastle and Melbourne suburbia in search for identity and family ties, on the backdrop of the harshness and secrecy of adoption in an era gone by.
Highly recommend reading.
November 23, 2023
Karen has told her story with respect, humour and honesty. It is heartbreaking, frustrating, hopeful, disappointing and so much more, as Karen navigates the rocky road which she hopes will lead to finding her true identity.
Anyone touched by Adoption will appreciate, understand and be deeply touched by Karen's steely resolve to seek answers. Her journey continues and I wish her every success.
Anyone touched by Adoption will appreciate, understand and be deeply touched by Karen's steely resolve to seek answers. Her journey continues and I wish her every success.
June 26, 2022
A beautiful story of discovering family. I laughed and cried as I followed Karen's journey to finding her birth family and origins. It certainly wasn't a smooth ride all the way, with unexpected twists and turns, making the story all the more captivating. Highly recommended.
May 15, 2021
This was a great reflection on what happened in Karen's life as an adopted child. She takes us through looking for her birth parents, and what that unfolded, and how she felt about it. No spoilers here. A really well written and interesting book!
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews