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Southwestern Writers Collection Series, The Wittliff Collections

Sanctified and Chicken-Fried: The Portable Lansdale

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Master of mojo storytelling, spinner of over-the-top yarns of horror, suspense, humor, mystery, science fiction, and even the Old West, Joe R. Lansdale has attracted a wide and enthusiastic following. His genre-defying work has brought him numerous awards, including the Grand Master of Horror from the World Horror Convention, the Edgar Award, the American Horror Award, seven Bram Stoker awards, the British Fantasy Award, Italy's Grinzane Prize for Literature, as well as Notable Book of the Year recognition twice from the New York Times.

Sanctified and Chicken-Fried is the first "true best of Lansdale" anthology. It brings together a unique mix of well-known short stories and excerpts from his acclaimed novels, along with new and previously unpublished material. In this collection of gothic tales that explore the dark and sometimes darkly humorous side of life and death, you'll meet traveling preachers with sinister agendas, towns lost to time, teenagers out for a good time who get more than they bargain for, and gangsters and strange goings-on at the end of the world. Out of the blender of Lansdale's imagination spew tall tales about men and mules, hogs and races, that are, in his words, "the equivalent of Aesop meets Flannery O'Connor on a date with William Faulkner, the events recorded by James M. Cain."

Whether you're a long-time fan of Joe R. Lansdale or just discovering his work, this anthology brings you the best of a writer whom the New York Times Book Review has praised for having "a folklorist's eye for telling detail and a front-porch raconteur's sense of pace."

264 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2009

54 people are currently reading
229 people want to read

About the author

Joe R. Lansdale

819 books3,894 followers
Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
Profile Image for Dan.
3,211 reviews10.8k followers
July 5, 2012
Sanctified and Chicken-Fried is a collection of Joe R. Lansdale short stories. The cover says The Portable Lansdale. I guess that's true since this is a best-of collection.

The stories are a combination of old favorites, like Bubba Hotep and Mr. Weedeater, new stories like the Dust Devils, and excerpts from two of Lansdale's novels, the Magic Wagon and A Fine Dark Line. The short stories are great. Rather than review them all, I'll tell you about Mr. Weedeater.

Mr. Weedeater has been my favorite Lansdale short story for about a decade now. Job Harold, redneck and all round loser, sees a blind man trimming the yard of the church next door with a weedeater. He tries to help the blind man but the blind man is on the obnoxious side. Eventually, Job's conscience gets the better of him and he helps the blind man, then lets him relax in his living room. Job's family likes the blind man entirely too much for Job's liking. However, when Job drives the blind man home, his house has burned down and his wife suggests the blind man stay with them. Hilarity ensues.

While I enjoyed the hell out of this collection, I couldn't give it five stars for two reasons. First, only one of the stories was brand spankin' new. Second, I would have much rather had two more stories instead of the novel excerpts. If the collection had included Bestsellers, Guaranteed and the one about the people fighting over the locket containing the Virgin mary's Pubic hair, I would have given it five stars automatically.

If you don't have any Lansdale short story collections, this one is the perfect place to start. Otherwise, read the contents before you buy, although the stories within are good no matter how many times you've read them.
Profile Image for Laura Jean.
1,070 reviews16 followers
November 1, 2018
Overall, I enjoyed these short stories. Mr. Lansdale is very realistic in his descriptions of historical eras, especially in regard to the racism. It made me uncomfortable at times, but honestly, that only speaks to his skill as a writer. His descriptions and similes are beyond compare.

He's also got a wonderful sense of humor, dark horrible humor. I was ashamed at myself for laughing during the fight in 'The Pit'. But it was hilarious.

I did not enjoy Bubba Ho-Tep as much as the movie, but they were really similar.

My favorite story was The Big Blow, closely followed by The Pit and The Mule Race.
Profile Image for Michael Fredette.
536 reviews4 followers
June 9, 2023

“Sanctified and Chicken Fried,” Joe R. Lansdale [University of Texas Press, 2009].

A collection of some of Lansdale’s best short fiction including:

“Mister Weed Eater,” a Southern Gothic story in the Flannery O’Connor vein; a Good Samaritan attempts to assist a blind man, hired as a church’s groundskeeper, which backfires spectacularly.

“The Big Blow,” with the 1900 hurricane which battered the Galveston coast as its backdrop, boxer Jack Johnson faces a white man named McBride in the ring, who was offered a cash incentive to kill his opponent.

“Dirt Devils,” bank robbers, during the Great Depression, cut a bloody swath through the Midwest.

“Bubba Ho-Tep,” in a Western Texas nursing home, a resident who believes he’s Elvis Presley, and one who believes he’s JFK battle a soul-sucking ancient Egyptian mummy. (The basis of the cult classic film, with Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis).

“White Mule, Spotted Pig” a legendary wild mule and his friend, a feral hog, are captured for a mule race; a story that is only nominally about mule racing.

***
Joe R. Lansdale is the author of the Edgar Award -winning The Bottoms (2000), as well as the Hap & Leonard novels, which served as the basis of the Sundance Channel series, amongst other works. His next collection, Things Get Ugly, will be published later this summer. Lansdale lives with his family in Nagadoches, TX.

***
The anthology Sanctified and Chicken-Fried is part of the Southwestern Writers Collection Series from The University of Texas.

Profile Image for Иван Величков.
1,078 reviews69 followers
January 30, 2019
Едно нещо мога да кажа за Лансдейл и няма да е изненада за никой, попаднал поне веднъж на негоеви разкази. Човекът е уникален писател. Притежава онова качество, благодарение на което изпъкват литературните таланти в скучната нежанрова проза, но го комбинира с абсолютна неебателност към правила, слава и пари.
В по-голямата част от подбраните тук разкази няма фантастичен елемент, няма дори хорър такъв. Обаче Лансдейл успява да нарисува родния си Юг по неповторим начин, като преплита човешкото с цялата южняшка гама от простотии - афинитет към насилие, расизъм, селтащина и доволно количество черен хумор. Колкото и да са брутални историите му, винаги през редовете се просмуква едно топло чувство към родния му край и хората в него, независимо дали ги осмива, порицава, наказва или просто разказва граничещите им с невероятното истории.

Mister Weed-Eater – История за загрявка, ако някой не знае какво да очаква от Лансдейл, това е перфектното начало. Наглед чисто нормална, макар и странна история.
Джоб Харолд е класически бял боклук, смучещ бири и оставящ жена си да се скъсва от работа. Един ден в съседната църква се появява нов косач на морави – сляп! Джоб решава малко да му помогне под въздействието на почти закърнялото си човеколюбие, но скоро слепецът му се качва на главата. А лошото е, че сякаш няма причина да му откаже нормалните дребни искания. Това ще ескалира за Джоб страшно бързо и страшно много.

Tight Little Stitches in a Dead Man’s Back – Най-любимото ми произведение в книгата. Кошмарно, постапокалиптично, нереално бълнуване.
Пол оцелява съмнително в морски фар на брега на пустинята, някога наричала се Атлантически океан. С него е жена му, която не му е говорила от началото на катаклизма, а отвън са хищните радиоактивни рози, превзели телата на предишните си жертви и търсещи процеп в защитата на семейството.
Това е само върха на айсберга на историята.

The Big Blow – Времето в разказите на Лансдейл е затънало в едно южняшко безвремие, където ако авторът не ти подскаже кога, няма да си сигурен дали е 18 или 21 век. В случая е 1900 година, но се познава само по въпросния огромен ураган, който е помлял половината крайбрежие.
За първи път в историята на спортния клуб негър е шампион по бокс. Това зверски изнервя съдържателите и те наемат най-големия боклук в бокса да го победи и ако може да го утрепе на ринга. За щастие или нещастие мачът е прекъснат от един от най-жестоките урагани в историята на Щатите.

The Magic Wagon (excerpt) – Уестърн, ако толкова леко можеше да се категоризира произведението. И е само откъс от началото на нещо по-голямо.
Били Боб Даниелс вярва, че е синът на известния стрелец – Дивия Бил Хикок. Когато му предлагат да откупи мумифицирания труп на „баща си” от индиански шаман, той не се колебае и за миг. Индианците вярват, че в запазените останки витае магията на стрелеца. Дали?

Dirt Devils – Във времена на банкови обири и извстни крадци, в едно градче на средата на нищото четирима мъже спират на бензиностанция. Скоро противоречията им ескалират и това ще доведе до кървави последици.

The Pit – След половин година пленичество, Хари ще влезе за първи пътт в Ямата. Там ще се бие за живота си под погледите на подивелите селяци, някъде на задника на географията. Ще се изправи пред Големия Джордж – оцеляващ вече няколко пъти от боевете.

Night They Missed the Horror Show – Първия разказ на Лансдей който четох изобщо. Още тогава (преди три години) направо ми отвинти главата.
Две хлапета решават да не отидат в автокиното тази вечер. Както се оказва – голяма грешка. Ще се замесят, предимно от скука, в поредица от събития, които ще ни покажат целия колорит на южните щати. Насилие над животни, расистки убийства, снъф, дрога...

Bubba Ho-Tep – Това май е филмирано и е най-потресаващо смешната и мръсна история, която съм чел.
В един старчески дом се подвизават Елвис, черният Кенеди, сменилият пола си Дилинджър и десетки други полуизкофели старчета, до толкова, че се чудиш това старчески дом ли е или кукавичарник. Елвис разбира, че нощем из коридорите на заведението броди мумия в каубойски костюм, която изсмуква изтощените души на обитателите през задниците им. Двамата с Кенеди ще вземат мерки това да не се случва повече.

The Fat Man and the Elephant – Един останал без късмет пастор вярва, че може да се свърже с бога чрез полуумрял от мизерия слон в нещастен музей на чудатостите.
Ама не е само това. Историята е кратка и велика, просто не може да се опише.

A Fine Dark Line (excerpt) – Това е начало на може би роман за порасването, само както Лансдейл би го написал. Ще се открие и ще се чете.
Три хлапета излизат една нощ, за да видят призрака на обезглавено момиче. През прилючението попадат на десетки гледки, които не са очаквали и дори май мярват призрака.

White Mule, Spotted Pig – Някой е решил да поръча на чичо Джо разказ за конни надбягвания. Това е резултатът. Скъсах се от хилеж, но и някак ме докосна.
След смъртта на баща си Франк остава сам с полуразпаднала се и насрана къща, куц кон, сухо поле царевица и едно муле. Единствения му шанс е да спечели панаирното състезание с мулета и да драсне към града. Когато гръм поразява мулето му, той е решен да хване легендарните Бяло муле и Петнисто прасе, които обикалят околията от години.
История за избори, за приятелство, за смелост. Както и за ебане на кози, надървени мулета, пияни негри и селтаци.

Като си гледам резюметата, не докосват и с пръст прозата на Лансдейл. Този човек просто трябва да се чете и не само от жанрови фенове, въпреки че трябва да си знаете – цинизмите са на камари, ситуациите са повече от абсурдни, а описаните хора са далеч от симпатяги. И все пак всички тези неща не са самоцел, а по-скоро самоирония. Велик е.
Profile Image for Kirk Smith.
234 reviews89 followers
March 10, 2015
Joe Lansdale's writing style and phenomenal storytelling is some of the most EXTREME literature you will find. He is a master of a half dozen genres, all with ample amounts of shock value and seldom stopping short of being OFFENSIVE. He does have a sense of humor and he keeps a lot of focus on racial inequality. That is the positive viewpoint, to harsher critics it may seem sexist and racist. It's about producing the most gritty and shocking short stories, ever. Fans of Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews or anything by the old ShockMaster Harlan Ellison might be prepared for Lansdale.
Profile Image for Gretchen.
Author 28 books11 followers
February 9, 2012
Definitely not for the easily offended.

Joe R. Lansdale must be about the most politically incorrect writer of our times; but with a wince and a groan and a cringe at the crudeness of it all, you've also got to admit it's great writing and even greater storytelling. Bubba Ho-Tep is in this collection, but it turned out my favorite was White Mule, Spotted Pig.

You've probably never read stories like this before. Here's your chance.
Profile Image for Steven W.
1,032 reviews1 follower
March 17, 2017
This was simply brilliant. Dark, terrible and gothic but brilliant. If you have any triggers this will trigger you, violence, bestiality, torture, racism, racism and racism. Still, this man can write and tells one hell of a story. This collection includes Bubba-Ho-Tep that the movie was based on.
Profile Image for Eden Gills Konnovitch.
358 reviews24 followers
August 3, 2025
Sometimes a you read a book that is absolutely not your taste at all but it’s so well written that you have to give it some credit. This book is that for me. The stories were not for the faint of heart, very graphic, vulgar, and crass but by goodness, they were so effective and well written. But also, completely insane to the point that I had to ask myself multiple times “what the hell am I reading???”

Did I enjoy reading this? - no. Can I see how someone could enjoy this - yes.

I would recommend this to lovers of older Stephen King books.
Profile Image for Sherry.
465 reviews
January 27, 2024
Joe Lansdale is one of the best writers ever and I think he's due for some recognition. He will make you laugh, cry, get pissed off, fall in love, want to kill a character (probably the same one you fell in love with), say " what the fuck?", say " what the fuck!!", and I could give you the plot of one of his stories and you would think I'm crazy. Pick something up by him, anything. He's a maniacal genius!
670 reviews2 followers
May 1, 2024
DISAPPOINTING

After reading every 'Hap and Leonard' book I could find, I expected the same quality and humor in this book.
This must've been one of Lansdale's first efforts.
There's more racist language than I've ever read in one book. I can get past that. Most of these short stories are pointless.
I liked Bubba Ho-Tep and the story about the mule & hog.
This MUST be an early work.
Don't read this. Read Hap & Leonard.
11 reviews
June 24, 2017
Hilarious, raunchy, profane and some of them downright serious. This guy is the master of the modern short story. Like all anthologies, some stories are better than others but I highly recommend reading him if you are a Lansdale virgin. The first story should immerse you enough so that you will want read the entire collection. Enjoy.
Profile Image for Michele Stufano.
11 reviews2 followers
Read
June 12, 2022
The book contains the following stories:

Mister Weed-Eater
Tight Little Stitches in a Dead Man’s Back
The Big Blow
The Magic Wagon (excerpt)
Dirt Devils
The Pit
Night They Missed the Horror Show
Bubba Ho-Tep
The Fat Man and the Elephant
A Fine Dark Line (excerpt)
White Mule, Spotted Pig
Profile Image for Jan Patterson.
Author 1 book1 follower
February 1, 2024
I had to stop reading this after 1.5 stories. It is crude and disturbingly racist. I thought maybe the first story was not representative but I started another story that was just as bad.
Profile Image for Lori.
954 reviews27 followers
November 10, 2009
I'm a tad afraid to admit I loved my first taste of Joe R. Lansdale. Does that make me a bigot? A misanthrope? Or just weird?

The short stories are in turn fascinating and appalling, with the balance falling just one side of that line (and often tipped a little the wrong way). They're strange and unique and a little horrifyingly beautiful.

I'll be back for more.
Profile Image for David.
67 reviews9 followers
Want to read
July 8, 2009
Joe Lansdale is on a book tour to promote Vanilla Ride, but I haven't read any of his previous books in the series and so chose to start here instead.
Profile Image for Alexis.
144 reviews3 followers
April 8, 2010
Some of the stories here are just so gross and disturbing. I wanted to stop reading them but was compelled to keep reading. The final story is the best, I think.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews

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