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The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook
This bestselling book details effective stress reduction methods such as breathing exercises, meditation, visualization, and time management. Widely recommended by therapists, nurses, and physicians throughout the U.S., this fourth edition has been substantially revised and updated to reflect current research. Line drawings and charts.
277 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 1980
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May 15, 2024
"You are assertive when you stand up for your rights in such a way that the rights of others are not violated. Beyond just demanding your rights, assertiveness implies that you can: express your personal likes and interests spontaneously; talk about yourself without being self-conscious; accept compliments comfortably; disagree with someone openly; ask for clarification; and you can say no. In short, when you are an assertive person, you can be more relaxed in interpersonal situations."
"You may not always get what you want when you are assertive, inasmuch as other people also have the right to disagree and say no; [...]"
"Rather than assuming that you are always right and entitled to getting your way, as an aggressive person might, state your wants as preferences, not as commands. For example, "I would like you to not leave clothes, books, and papers in the living room when you are not using them.""
"Reinforce the other person to give you what you want. The best reinforcement is to describe positive consequences."
"In some cases, describing positive consequences may be ineffective. If the person you're dealing with seems resistant or if you feel that you're having trouble motivating him or her to cooperate with you, consider describing some negative consequences for failure to cooperate. The most effective negative consequences are descriptions of the alternative way you will take care of yourself if your wishes aren't accommodated."
"Notice that these examples are different from threats. The consequence of noncooperation is that the speaker takes care of his or her interests. The consequences are not designed to hurt, merely to protect the speaker."
"Note that negative reinforcement is often not necessary, and that positive reinforcement may require no more than the assurance that you will feel good if a certain behavior change is made. Elaborate promises usually can be avoided."
"1. Maintain direct eye contact. Note that it is natural to blink and look away occasionally.
2. Maintain an erect body posture.
3. Speak clearly, calmly and firmly.
4. Don't whine or use an apologetic or hostile tone of voice.
5. Use gestures and facial expressions for emphasis that are congruent with what you have to say. Example: Use a serious look rather than a smile when you are saying no to a door-to-door salesperson."
"You can't always expect the other person to play by the rules. There are times when you'll have to both express and listen assertively in the face of defensive or hostile reactions."
"Typical compromise solutions include the following:
* My way this time, your way next time.
* I get part of what I want and you get part of what you want.
* [...]
* If you'll do for me, I'll do for you.
* [...]
* We'll try my way this time, and if you don't like it, you can veto it next time.
* [...]
* My way when I'm doing it, your way when you're doing it."
"If you feel resistant to brainstorming and making lists of alternatives, try this simpler approach. When someone doesn't want to give you what you want, ask for a counterproposal. If the counterproposal isn't acceptable to you, make a new one of your own. But first do a little assertive listening to uncover the other person's feelings and needs in the situation."
"What would you need from me to feel okay doing this my way?"
"When you find that you are dealing with someone who won't take no for an answer or refuses to grant you a reasonable request, you can carefully choose a concise sentence to use as your broken-record statement that you'll say over and over again."
"Briefly acknowledge that you have heard the other person's point, and then calmly repeat your broken-record statement without getting sidetracked by irrelevant issues."
"Content-to-process shift. Shift the focus of the discussion from the topic to an analysis of what is going on between the two of you."
"Defusing. Ignore the content of someone's anger, and put off further discussion until she has calmed down. "I can see that you are very upset and angry right now. Let's discuss it later this afternoon.""
"Assertive agreement. Acknowledge criticism you agree with. You don't need to give an explanation unless you wish to."
"When someone puts you down as a person, acknowledge something in the criticism you can agree with, and ignore the rest. Agree in part: "You're right. I am late with the report." Agree in the probability: "You may be right that I am often late." Agree in the principle (agreeing with the logic without agreeing with the premise): "If I were late as often as you say, it certainly would be a problem." When clouding, rephrase the critic's words so that you can honestly concur. By giving the appearance of agreeing without promising to change, you soon deplete the critic of any reasons to criticize you."
"Assertive inquiry. Invite criticism to find out what is really bothering the other person."
"Use the broken record, or insist on setting a specific time when the problem can be discussed."
"The best response is to use the content-to-process shift ("Why isn't the point. The issue is that I'm not willing to go tonight.") or the broken record."
"Try to keep going through your script using assertive agreement ("I know this is causing you pain, but I need to get this resolved.)."
"Quibbling. The other person wants to argue with you about the legitimacy of what you feel, or the magnitude of the problem, and so forth. Use the content-to-process shift ("We're quibbling now and we've gotten off the main concern") with the assertion of your right to feel the way you do."
"Denial. You are told, "I didn't do that," or "You've really misinterpreted me." Assert what you have observed and experienced, and use clouding ("It may seem that way to you, but I've observed ...")."
"You may not always get what you want when you are assertive, inasmuch as other people also have the right to disagree and say no; [...]"
"Rather than assuming that you are always right and entitled to getting your way, as an aggressive person might, state your wants as preferences, not as commands. For example, "I would like you to not leave clothes, books, and papers in the living room when you are not using them.""
"Reinforce the other person to give you what you want. The best reinforcement is to describe positive consequences."
"In some cases, describing positive consequences may be ineffective. If the person you're dealing with seems resistant or if you feel that you're having trouble motivating him or her to cooperate with you, consider describing some negative consequences for failure to cooperate. The most effective negative consequences are descriptions of the alternative way you will take care of yourself if your wishes aren't accommodated."
"Notice that these examples are different from threats. The consequence of noncooperation is that the speaker takes care of his or her interests. The consequences are not designed to hurt, merely to protect the speaker."
"Note that negative reinforcement is often not necessary, and that positive reinforcement may require no more than the assurance that you will feel good if a certain behavior change is made. Elaborate promises usually can be avoided."
"1. Maintain direct eye contact. Note that it is natural to blink and look away occasionally.
2. Maintain an erect body posture.
3. Speak clearly, calmly and firmly.
4. Don't whine or use an apologetic or hostile tone of voice.
5. Use gestures and facial expressions for emphasis that are congruent with what you have to say. Example: Use a serious look rather than a smile when you are saying no to a door-to-door salesperson."
"You can't always expect the other person to play by the rules. There are times when you'll have to both express and listen assertively in the face of defensive or hostile reactions."
"Typical compromise solutions include the following:
* My way this time, your way next time.
* I get part of what I want and you get part of what you want.
* [...]
* If you'll do for me, I'll do for you.
* [...]
* We'll try my way this time, and if you don't like it, you can veto it next time.
* [...]
* My way when I'm doing it, your way when you're doing it."
"If you feel resistant to brainstorming and making lists of alternatives, try this simpler approach. When someone doesn't want to give you what you want, ask for a counterproposal. If the counterproposal isn't acceptable to you, make a new one of your own. But first do a little assertive listening to uncover the other person's feelings and needs in the situation."
"What would you need from me to feel okay doing this my way?"
"When you find that you are dealing with someone who won't take no for an answer or refuses to grant you a reasonable request, you can carefully choose a concise sentence to use as your broken-record statement that you'll say over and over again."
"Briefly acknowledge that you have heard the other person's point, and then calmly repeat your broken-record statement without getting sidetracked by irrelevant issues."
"Content-to-process shift. Shift the focus of the discussion from the topic to an analysis of what is going on between the two of you."
"Defusing. Ignore the content of someone's anger, and put off further discussion until she has calmed down. "I can see that you are very upset and angry right now. Let's discuss it later this afternoon.""
"Assertive agreement. Acknowledge criticism you agree with. You don't need to give an explanation unless you wish to."
"When someone puts you down as a person, acknowledge something in the criticism you can agree with, and ignore the rest. Agree in part: "You're right. I am late with the report." Agree in the probability: "You may be right that I am often late." Agree in the principle (agreeing with the logic without agreeing with the premise): "If I were late as often as you say, it certainly would be a problem." When clouding, rephrase the critic's words so that you can honestly concur. By giving the appearance of agreeing without promising to change, you soon deplete the critic of any reasons to criticize you."
"Assertive inquiry. Invite criticism to find out what is really bothering the other person."
"Use the broken record, or insist on setting a specific time when the problem can be discussed."
"The best response is to use the content-to-process shift ("Why isn't the point. The issue is that I'm not willing to go tonight.") or the broken record."
"Try to keep going through your script using assertive agreement ("I know this is causing you pain, but I need to get this resolved.)."
"Quibbling. The other person wants to argue with you about the legitimacy of what you feel, or the magnitude of the problem, and so forth. Use the content-to-process shift ("We're quibbling now and we've gotten off the main concern") with the assertion of your right to feel the way you do."
"Denial. You are told, "I didn't do that," or "You've really misinterpreted me." Assert what you have observed and experienced, and use clouding ("It may seem that way to you, but I've observed ...")."
October 30, 2017
This is one of the better self-help books I've read or glanced through.
The book covers a number of stress-reduction techniques. For each technique, the book suggests what it can help with, how long it will take to learn and then a description of how to do it. At the end of each section, there is a list of further reading and where to find more resources. It's well referenced with academic studies of why the techniques work, which I really appreciated.
The book was good at introducing me to techniques I hadn't done before and broke them down with clear instructions. A lot of these will take weeks or months to learn with daily practice so it isn't a book that is intended to have you working your way through all of them, but instead suggesting various options for which techniques might be right for you. If you know you want to learn a specific skill it'll be best to get a book specifically on that as this book cannot cover everything in huge depth.
I thought the sections near the end on nutrition and exercise were weak but the majority of the book seemed well written. As mentioned, some of the techniques I wasn't familiar with so I couldn't always compare.
I didn't use it exactly as it is intended but instead spent 30 minutes a week reading it through cover to cover (which they don't advise) and made a note of a few techniques I'd like to practice. I'm now onto practising the techniques. I borrowed it from the library but I'd like a copyfor myself so I can come back to it easily in the future.
It's a fact and instruction laden book, which is exactly what I wanted, but there are other books out there that are aimed at people struggling with poor concentration or who are feeling overwhelmed which could suit some people at certain times more.
I would have liked an audio CD or free link to the exercises that require listening to instructions, but it would have put the price up, so this isn't the end of the world. I recorded some of these in my own voice from the written script given but found this didn't suit me so I ended up using random youtube videos covering a similar thing.
Overall, a good book covering various techniques backed up by solid referencing.
The book covers a number of stress-reduction techniques. For each technique, the book suggests what it can help with, how long it will take to learn and then a description of how to do it. At the end of each section, there is a list of further reading and where to find more resources. It's well referenced with academic studies of why the techniques work, which I really appreciated.
The book was good at introducing me to techniques I hadn't done before and broke them down with clear instructions. A lot of these will take weeks or months to learn with daily practice so it isn't a book that is intended to have you working your way through all of them, but instead suggesting various options for which techniques might be right for you. If you know you want to learn a specific skill it'll be best to get a book specifically on that as this book cannot cover everything in huge depth.
I thought the sections near the end on nutrition and exercise were weak but the majority of the book seemed well written. As mentioned, some of the techniques I wasn't familiar with so I couldn't always compare.
I didn't use it exactly as it is intended but instead spent 30 minutes a week reading it through cover to cover (which they don't advise) and made a note of a few techniques I'd like to practice. I'm now onto practising the techniques. I borrowed it from the library but I'd like a copyfor myself so I can come back to it easily in the future.
It's a fact and instruction laden book, which is exactly what I wanted, but there are other books out there that are aimed at people struggling with poor concentration or who are feeling overwhelmed which could suit some people at certain times more.
I would have liked an audio CD or free link to the exercises that require listening to instructions, but it would have put the price up, so this isn't the end of the world. I recorded some of these in my own voice from the written script given but found this didn't suit me so I ended up using random youtube videos covering a similar thing.
Overall, a good book covering various techniques backed up by solid referencing.
May 9, 2012
In my quest to find peace and relaxation in my life, overcome my anxiety problems, and cope with any lingering effects of depression, my therapist recommended this workbook. I might have given it four out of four brownie points, except, unlike the "What to Expect" books that Scott and I love so much, there wasn't much humor. I think humor makes technical reading like this just a bit more enjoyable.
As far as a resource for information goes, I really thought this book was very complete and thorough. I found several ideas for things I am going to try in my own life to help me cope with day to day stress, along with some of my more deeply rooted issues. The workbook stressed all aspects of your life, and even included sections on nutrition, exercise, being more assertive, refuting irrational ideas, controlling anger, along with all the relaxation techniques.
As far as a resource for information goes, I really thought this book was very complete and thorough. I found several ideas for things I am going to try in my own life to help me cope with day to day stress, along with some of my more deeply rooted issues. The workbook stressed all aspects of your life, and even included sections on nutrition, exercise, being more assertive, refuting irrational ideas, controlling anger, along with all the relaxation techniques.
August 7, 2018
I had to read this for class and for someone who struggles with anxiety, I found this workbook actually beneficial. It will be one that I for sure keep in my library.
February 4, 2025
Pretty good book with sciences and anecdotes to back itself. A little outdated but it's not its fault that this is almost 20 years old. I really liked the chapters on assertiveness and irrational thoughts. Thanks to all the clients who cancelled appointments over the last few weeks so I could have time to read this :P
May 2, 2021
读的中文版。基本上很多方面的放松方法都有涉及，比如冥想，运动或者缓解焦虑。
May 4, 2015
I am reading this due to my current heath issues, which I am learning that could have and I think honestly were caused by stress, so far I love this book I am only a couple chapters in but it gives great detail about the body and mind and how it works to gether and how stress effects us. There are lots of hand on things to try, and do to be awear and to work on connecting your mind and body to reduce negitive stress. I am really enjoying it.
I LOVED this book it inspired me to learn more about breathing, mediation and more.
EVERYONE should read this book people underestimate the damage stress does to their lives- SUCH a great book!
I LOVED this book it inspired me to learn more about breathing, mediation and more.
EVERYONE should read this book people underestimate the damage stress does to their lives- SUCH a great book!
December 27, 2020
Well, context is global pandemic. Looking for help managing my end, this has been helpful. It’s more practical than theoretical, which I’ve appreciated. Will stay close at hand. Good luck out there.
March 19, 2019
This is pure serendipity. As I sit down to write this review of the sixth edition of The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook, and pull the book up on Amazon just to check whether it's the most current, I learn that the seventh will be released on April 1, 2019. So mine is "good enough." I'm reviewing the Workbook because I hope anyone I care about who suffers from anxiety might take a look. I know it's been worthwhile for me personally for relieving day-to-day tensions.
This hefty manuscript by Martha Davis, PhD, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, MSW and Matthew McKay, PhD is a comprehensive how-to guide to the most thoroughly researched, proven relaxation and stress reduction techniques developed from cultures and medical specialties around the world. It covers, among other methods, deep breathing, visualization, meditation, assertiveness training and exercise. It is powerful, but not a quick, simple or peaceful read. The exercises can be emotionally painful and/or physically uncomfortable at first. Learning these competencies is challenging: they require practice to build new habits. You could choose to learn them alone, or I believe this is a fantastic book for friends or family to share on an "accountability partner" basis. It could even be a foundation for efforts in coordination with a health coach.
This hefty manuscript by Martha Davis, PhD, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, MSW and Matthew McKay, PhD is a comprehensive how-to guide to the most thoroughly researched, proven relaxation and stress reduction techniques developed from cultures and medical specialties around the world. It covers, among other methods, deep breathing, visualization, meditation, assertiveness training and exercise. It is powerful, but not a quick, simple or peaceful read. The exercises can be emotionally painful and/or physically uncomfortable at first. Learning these competencies is challenging: they require practice to build new habits. You could choose to learn them alone, or I believe this is a fantastic book for friends or family to share on an "accountability partner" basis. It could even be a foundation for efforts in coordination with a health coach.
June 14, 2022
As a caseworker who works with people with mental illness every day, I use the tools in this book a lot. It's actually very difficult to find a book with as much concrete information as this one. It doesn't have the chapters on chapters of "let me tell you how well this works" without ever getting to *how,* it dives right into how.
The information is well organized and practical with easy to follow steps. Some of the ideas in the book won't necessarily work for every client/person, but that's more dependent on where they are in life and what their healing looks like. Even though this whole book isn't for everyone, there's at least one chapter that applicable to anyone's life. I especially like the chapters on identifying unhelpful thought patterns.
The visual aids and charts are really helpful to use with clients to work through specific issues and each chapter stay on topic very well. I would highly recommend this book if you need the most variety of tools from the fewest books. Personally, I think this book has more practical, hands-on ways of solving everyday issue than the IMR or WSM.
The information is well organized and practical with easy to follow steps. Some of the ideas in the book won't necessarily work for every client/person, but that's more dependent on where they are in life and what their healing looks like. Even though this whole book isn't for everyone, there's at least one chapter that applicable to anyone's life. I especially like the chapters on identifying unhelpful thought patterns.
The visual aids and charts are really helpful to use with clients to work through specific issues and each chapter stay on topic very well. I would highly recommend this book if you need the most variety of tools from the fewest books. Personally, I think this book has more practical, hands-on ways of solving everyday issue than the IMR or WSM.
May 19, 2021
This workbook offers basic information about stress, but the meat of it is introducing the reader to various tools that can be useful for managing that stress. Just the repetition of the concept that there are a lot of tools and some of them will be a good fit for you, is helpful.
It's getting that fifth star for being solid and filled with actual information, which seems to be rather rare in this genre.
Recommended by my doctor, who offered me a physical copy, but I went ebook for portability. Can recommend. Bonus: you can slip by everything resembling a worksheet or self-rating scale without a twinge.
It's getting that fifth star for being solid and filled with actual information, which seems to be rather rare in this genre.
Recommended by my doctor, who offered me a physical copy, but I went ebook for portability. Can recommend. Bonus: you can slip by everything resembling a worksheet or self-rating scale without a twinge.
February 11, 2020
Yep, totally stress free now. Thank god for this book. Yes, we should all do yoga, get enough sleep, not explode in anger all the time. Yes we should visualize happy places and take stock of all the accomplishments we've made. No, you cannot control other people. No, I am not going to use hypnosis in my stress treatment because that is just weird.
December 7, 2016
This book should prove to be practical and useful for me in the near future. I just didn't like a certain part about using amulets or pendulums to answer questions you might have trouble answering for yourself. A bit too esoteric for me but in the most part, this book was great.
August 11, 2018
Lots of great tips on how to wind down and clear your mind. Complete with introduction to meditation, exercises and links to other books, blogs, and websites. Immensely helpful!
July 13, 2019
This was a great self help book, with lots of great very useful techniques
October 17, 2019
Some of these exercises put me right to sleep.
November 25, 2022
An Absolute wonderful book, a treasure trove of ideas, worth lifetime of practice
February 14, 2023
3.5 - Read for a course I'm completing. Some really great ideas included and well written.
January 30, 2024
This is the textbook for an online class I am taking. It is super practical and I have recommended it to a few people. It has helped me deal with anxious thoughts and with stress.
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July 16, 2024Available at the TAMU-SA Library:
https://tamusa.on.worldcat.org/oclc/1...
https://tamusa.on.worldcat.org/oclc/1...
December 8, 2024
It's a very complete book with so many relaxation techniques.
September 21, 2020
Good overview of a range of stress reduction tools.
March 17, 2011
When I first began college, I struggled to keep up with the work load of my classes. Only, it wasn't my grades that were suffering, it was my physical and mental-health.
I was recommended to take a Stress and Anxiety Management course by an advisor, and this is the workbook from that course.
I found a lot of the exercises in The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook to be very helpful, and have tried to use them again on my own a few times.
This book covers a range of subjects such as:
-How to react to stress.
-Body awareness and breathing.
-Progressive relaxation, meditation, and visualization.
-Job stress management.
-How to refute irrational ideas.
-Control worry.
-Use thought stopping.
-Coping skills.
-Goal setting and time management skills
-Assertiveness training.
Most of the sections in the book come with worksheet exercises to supplement the text, and put the exercises into use.
The problem I encountered is that I find it easier to keep-up on these things with guidance, encouragement, and instruction (aka being TOLD to do it). Without that support, I tend to forget or give up.
This may not be the case for other people, but I have struggled to use this book on my own once class was over.
One of the hardest parts to focus on was Worry Time and Worry Exposure. This book actually advises you to allow yourself to worry, but to make a scheduled time and a place for it. It directs to make a list of worries from most immediate to least, and then focus an entire 25 minutes thinking of the worst-case scenario of that worry. Once the worst is "experienced" you think of the best-case scenario for 5 minutes, then repeat until your level of anxiety drops.
The problem I encountered is that my level doesn't drop and I keep worrying at full-speed.
This is where I think having someone else's direction would be very beneficial.
If you're capable of motivating yourself, or have someone you trust to encourage you on your progress, this is a good book for finding some useful tools to help cope with stress and anxiety.
I was recommended to take a Stress and Anxiety Management course by an advisor, and this is the workbook from that course.
I found a lot of the exercises in The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook to be very helpful, and have tried to use them again on my own a few times.
This book covers a range of subjects such as:
-How to react to stress.
-Body awareness and breathing.
-Progressive relaxation, meditation, and visualization.
-Job stress management.
-How to refute irrational ideas.
-Control worry.
-Use thought stopping.
-Coping skills.
-Goal setting and time management skills
-Assertiveness training.
Most of the sections in the book come with worksheet exercises to supplement the text, and put the exercises into use.
The problem I encountered is that I find it easier to keep-up on these things with guidance, encouragement, and instruction (aka being TOLD to do it). Without that support, I tend to forget or give up.
This may not be the case for other people, but I have struggled to use this book on my own once class was over.
One of the hardest parts to focus on was Worry Time and Worry Exposure. This book actually advises you to allow yourself to worry, but to make a scheduled time and a place for it. It directs to make a list of worries from most immediate to least, and then focus an entire 25 minutes thinking of the worst-case scenario of that worry. Once the worst is "experienced" you think of the best-case scenario for 5 minutes, then repeat until your level of anxiety drops.
The problem I encountered is that my level doesn't drop and I keep worrying at full-speed.
This is where I think having someone else's direction would be very beneficial.
If you're capable of motivating yourself, or have someone you trust to encourage you on your progress, this is a good book for finding some useful tools to help cope with stress and anxiety.
January 25, 2011
If you have ever struggled with anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, anger, time management, or other assorted concerns, this book is worth a read. With techniques ranging from refuting irrational ideas to meditation, this books is quite practical and useful. It can be read pretty quickly, but I imagine that one could continue to master the techniques for several years.
May 13, 2011
This is a reference that you can use whenever you want to learn a new technique/method to relax.
Each chapter explains a stress reduction method.
I loved the breathing exercises in chapter 3.
I stress when I'm not busy working on something, so this "reference" helps. I randomly choose a chapter and learn about the method.
I read about 10-15% of the book.
Each chapter explains a stress reduction method.
I loved the breathing exercises in chapter 3.
I stress when I'm not busy working on something, so this "reference" helps. I randomly choose a chapter and learn about the method.
I read about 10-15% of the book.
June 21, 2014
If you're over worked and trying to find a way to de-stress and relax, then this is not the book for you. I felt like I was going to be tested later. Each activity was overly regimented, which makes removal of thought quite challenging; when you're so busy trying to do it right you're busy thinking instead of removing thought. This book might be good for some people but I am not a fan.
February 5, 2014
I'm in the middle of some pretty intense research on anxiety and mindful meditation. This was one of a few that led me to a-ha moments. I'm not sure if it's the writing or the fact that it's the right time for me to be reading this---I enjoyed it nonetheless and expect I will come back to it again in the future.
January 15, 2008
This books walks you through a number of different types of relaxation exercises, as well as addresses stressors and reducing stress. I used it for a stress management class at BYU and really liked it. Good ideas!
April 9, 2012
The best option that I have found for Relaxation Techniques (PEA class). I will be using it in future classes, although it's usefullness would be better if the students had been required to purchase it as well.
March 22, 2012
This is a great reference tool to use when life gets hectic (these days it seems like always!!) Lots of breathing, meditation etc techniques compiled from much research. I ended up buying it. Highly recommend for anyone trying to renew and restore.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews