Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: The Non-Conformist Playbook to Raising Happy Kids Without Public Meltdowns, Power Struggles, & Punishments

by Sue Donnellan

“Irreverent yes, and totally practical advice for the overwhelmed parent. Sue Donnellan entertains, as she educates. Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck is full of relatable moments, levity, and sage parenting wisdom. Read it and get ready to reflect and step-up your parenting game.” - Davina Kotulski, Ph.D. Psychologist and award-winning author of It’s Never Too Late to Be Your Self and The Manna Paradigm Shift. “Secrets to being the parent you wished you had, and always wanted to be. In a straight-forward and relevant way, Sue Donnellan will show you how to raise happy kids who are ready for the world.” - Michael Mataluni, Podcast Host & Digital Marketer Kick Ass Dad Cocktails & Calamity What if you could learn the transformative mindset that allows parents to get results without “fixing” their child’s bad behavior? In Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck , Sue Donnellan, parent mentor, author, mom of four (including triplets), and entrepreneur shares 20+ years of experience cultivating the effective thought process for successful parenting. She delivers a proven playbook for turning misbehaving kids into happy, respectful, well-adjusted young adults. Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck is the definitive book on parenting. Written as a no-nonsense action plan, this book covers ages 2-20 and all the necessary subjects in between, using humor and wisdom. Foreword written by Lana Gomez Maniscalco, Artist, Wife, Mom of two, Creative Director, What’s Wrong With People, Inc. Click the BUY NOW button and experience these results today!

Genres: Self Help, Parenting

253 pages, Paperback

Published February 8, 2021

About the author

Sue Donnellan is an entrepreneur, wife, mother of four (including surprise triplets), and International #1 Best Selling author. As a one-time reluctant parent and reformed yeller, Sue understands the sheer stress that is parenting! Sue has been advising parents, transforming households, and reducing overwhelm for over 20 years with her results-based, no-nonsense method of raising kids.

Respected in the field of parenting, relationship building, and accountable communication, Sue developed her trademark program while in the trenches. In the last 25 years, Sue has built and run three of her own full-time businesses, supported her military husband as he deployed five times, and managed a family of six.

With wisdom and humor, Sue teaches a transformative mindset that gives parents the skills to get positive shifts in behavior, while creating a relationship of lifelong trust and respect with their kids. She has captured her unique methods in her 1st book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck, where she tells you how she did it, and how you can, too!

In her 'free' time, Sue is also a mom to two dogs. She has discovered a cure for hiccups, created a family recipe for sleep dust, loves the ethereal and timeless singer Sade, appreciates great comedy, and is passionate about living healthy.

To learn more about Sue and Ask Mom Parenting visit: https://askmomparenting.com/

Reviews

[Ruby Is Reading · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read.

Good parenting is more important than a good school to the academic success of a child. Youngsters do their best when they are helped by their parents in their homework, they can even emphasise the essentiality of education and thus attend the school events. In a nutshell, parents are the best teachers of every child. Kids learn moral values, manners, disciplines everything from their home. It’s their good upbringing that helps them succeed in the future.
.
This book provides an amazing resource to tap into when you're feeling that you need advice from that friend, whose opinion and advice you trust the most. Since the author has a unique perspective, it gives us a plethora of new ideas.
.
The author has shared practical strategies laid out in a step-by-step manner through personal stories and self-reflective insights. For example - the most effective way to influence the kids is by always setting an example as their role model!

[Elizabeth Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

The secret to low-stress parenting

This book was an eye opener. We tie ourselves up in knots about whether or not we’re doing the right thing, reading manual after manual and reading blog after blog and this book shows that if you just r-e-l-a-x about it all, kids will figure it out. It also takes away that feeling that you are responsible for every action they take, every way they turn out. The central philosophy of this book feels like a much more comfortable way to parent – respectful of your child. I was never convinced about time outs and now I know why they were never going to work.

The book is written in a super engaging tone, never preachy – it’s like having a conversation with a friend who just, somehow, seems to bet it better than you seem to. It looks like the author offers consultation services and I’d definitely feel comfortable going to her direct if I needed to, but I think you’d get more out of it if you read the book first, to get the general principles.

On a practical note, the book is very readable and each chapter ends with key points and questions to get you to ask yourself about how you approach things with your kids and to figure out different ways based on the principles yourself before trying them out on your kids or talking to them.

In summary, a revelation – highly recommended to every frazzled parent or just parents who are thinking there must be a better way.

[Garima Bhatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

 Just completed this superb book named "Secret to Parenting without giving a F^ck" and got inspired from really handy and easy concept mentioned in it.. Parenting is considerably a huge responsibility in a person's life to involve with as it is as high stakes as it gets—because another person’s life is in your hands. Today's generation is way more complicated than usual and need a level up parenting consultance.

We all want to be the best parents we can be for our children, but there is often conflicting advice on how to raise a kid who is confident, kind and successful?!
Throughout the circus act of parenting, it’s important to focus on balancing priorities, juggling responsibilities and quickly flipping between the needs of your children, other family members and yourself. This book can develop your Parenting skills as well as create a positive impact towards your life roles and duties. This book is easy to be compatible with and anything for being a no. 1 parent, Right?!

I discovered some tips that every parent should follow for their children upbringing. One of my favourite among them is "A simple way to keep your child’s ego balanced is to keep your own ego about them in balance. Let them develop as an original, unique person in your eyes, not an extension of you or a reflection of you."

In addition there were examples of some situations that all usually face as a parent and how to overcome/handle them without hurting anyone's emotion. This is how the book contributes in building healthy family relations. As your child develops, the challenges will change, and your thinking may evolve, but your approach should be consistent, firm and loving. The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully, Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else."

Another wonderful tip from the book that I found to be the best is "Kids can’t grow or learn if we feed the answers to them. We can be an ear without having to weigh in with our opinions and solutions."

I must say, I got some of the best parenting advice here in these golden pages, which makes this book worth reading. I would highly recommend this book to every single person out there!

[Lisa Forsythe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous book. A must have for those wanting to improve their parenting and the overall functioning of the family Day-to-day.

I love the humour that shines through throughout the book. It’s real, relatable and offers some practical strategies for raising happy, well-adjusted kids. It’s important to also reflect and see the humour in our lives as being a parent is hard-work - I don’t even have triplets and think it’s tough.

I think it’s great to read about parenting from someone who managed to raise triplets, and one other sibling, continue on with their own work aspirations and keep a marriage together. Sue clearly understands the complexities of juggling it all and shares her insights into how to find balance and harmony.
I highly recommend this book full of wisdom that will benefit you and your family.

[Rachel Stuart]

Very fun read and helpful book. How to parent without being overbearing.

[Franki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Full of easy to implement, practical tips by a mom of triplets!!!! If she can do it, I think I can too:)

[Bookreadersclub · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one is a practical guide to dealing with and raising kids efficiently to ensure a happy productive family. I liked that the focus is not only on correcting the child but on the parents as well. The aspect of introspection and evolving along with the kids is very much needed and a practical method indeed.

The author has given interesting examples & anecdotes in form of Case studies which instantly connect you with the wisdom of the writing.

Self-reflections, checklists and takeaways at the end of each chapter are welcome additions which aid in implementing the learnings. It helps in self introspection & becoming a better parent every day.

The language is direct, fun and easy to comprehend.

Keeping a check on ego, behavior, no means no, having a system that works, giving choices, the magic mantra are the key learnings from this book which are extremely logical undertakings.

We often overlook partnership parenting that is concept of "we" in any relationship and the author emphasizes on this very crucial aspect. Parenting is not a one-sided game & practicing the above is easier said than done especially for Indian parents, where words of elders are etched in stone. The methods can be really effective if imbibed by the parents.

A particular quote that I liked was:
“I have found the best way to give advice to your
children are to find out what they want and then
advise them to do it.” ~ Harry S. Truman

Especially building a rapport where the child is able to tell everything to their parents is difficult but not impossible. Sharing life experiences, asking questions & being non-judgmental are key to such a relationship.

Practical ways to handle lying, blaming & even social media are good incorporations required in today's era. The 360° thinking & usage of diagrams make the concepts more easily understandable. Lastly, futility of punishment is explained beautifully.

Overall, a very informative read, needs to be read by every new parent or struggling parent in need for guidance.

[Claire Lamb · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read this year.
Sue Donnellan's book is packed full of practical, straight forward advice for parents with children of any age.
I slowly worked my way through, using the techniques provided and found some really helpful strategies.
But the biggest thing for me was learning to let go of certain things in myself which has made an enormous difference to my outlook on how I think things should be.
It's a brilliant book, thank you Sue for your knowledge, i wish i had read it years ago
Highly recommend

[Ashley Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! It takes a lot of a person to raise a kid, I think we can all agree on that, and sometimes we all lose our patience. This book teaches you ways to handle your tempting while dealing with a tough situation, and so much more! It’s definitely a must read

[Gaurika Gandhi · Rating 5 out of 5]

 

“Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a Fuck” by Sue Donnellan is a guide to parenting. It includes facts about children and parents. It offers methods to deal with situations that kids throw on their parents and the behaviour of children. Fun fact, this book is written by a woman who never wanted kids but ended up having four and later mentored other parents. It is her journey that she has described in this book and has found her way to express it to whosoever might need the tricks. This book is like her journal. There are several examples included which are about her children and that of her clients. 

I found this book unquestionably interesting and humorous. At times this book makes the reader laugh like crazy and sometimes makes you sad. The very first step to parenting states, ‘Change yourself and your child changes.’ It is so correct. I am not going to spoil the fun of reading this book by stating any more steps. The good part is that the reader doesn’t have to stick to the storyline. They can skip a topic or two if they want and move to any topic that they find interesting. This book is an absolute five star read for me because it is written with such a cool and tender attitude that I felt relaxed while reading it. The writing is simple. Anyone can read it. Some situations might even seem relatable to readers in their own lives and even to parents who might read this. I am utterly happy that I came across this book and read it.

As it is obvious, this book is recommended to all parents. No matter what stage of parenting you are in, this guide can prove to be a good companion on your journey in parenting. Other than parents, we readers can read it too. It is a different thing and will relax our racing and occupied brains.

[Literary Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sue Donnellan’s book Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck is a refreshing and candid guide for parents who are seeking to cultivate a healthier and less stressful relationship with their children. The book’s core message is simple yet profound: by changing their own behavior, parents can influence their children’s behavior positively. Donnellan emphasizes the importance of viewing children as “adults in training” and focuses on partnership-based parenting rather than traditional authoritarian methods.

Donnellan’s writing is not only engaging but also highly practical. She fills her book with real-life examples and relatable anecdotes, making her advice easy to understand and implement. One of the standout concepts, the ‘Magic Mantra: I’m Only in Charge of Me; I’m Not in Charge of You,’ encapsulates the idea of controlling one’s responses rather than trying to control children’s actions. This practical shift in perspective can significantly reduce parental frustration and promote a more peaceful household.

Donnellan’s book challenges the common belief that punishment is the most effective way to change children’s behavior. She argues that punishment often leads to resentment, not real behavioral change. Instead, she advocates for natural consequences and pre-agreed consequences, which can help children learn accountability in a more positive and effective way. I think this approach not only encourages children to understand the impact of their actions but also fosters a sense of respect and self-awareness, leading to more positive outcomes.

The book also provides valuable strategies for developing daily habits and routines that foster a sense of security and independence in children. Donnellan highlights the importance of consistency and the establishment of family routines as foundational elements for raising responsible and self-sufficient children. I particularly resonated with her emphasis on forming a partnership with children, where problems are discussed mutually rather than unilaterally, as I think it fosters respect and better communication.

Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck is an insightful and practical guide for parents who are tired of traditional, punitive approaches and are looking for more effective and respectful ways to raise their children. I think it will be particularly beneficial for parents of young children and teenagers who are struggling with power struggles or public meltdowns or simply want to foster a healthier family dynamic.

[Paige Moulton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: The Non Conformist Playbook to Raising Happy Kids Without Public Meltdowns, Power Struggles, & Punishments by Sue Donnellan is an engaging, practical parenting guide that combines humor with actionable strategies to help parents build stronger relationships with their children. Rather than relying on punishment or constant correction, the book encourages a thoughtful shift in mindset that promotes cooperation, trust, and long term emotional growth.

One of the book's greatest strengths is its approachable, conversational style. Sue Donnellan presents parenting challenges with honesty, humor, and empathy, making complex situations feel manageable without minimizing the realities parents face. The result is a guide that is both entertaining and genuinely useful.

The book also focuses on prevention rather than reaction. By helping parents understand the motivations behind children's behavior, Donnellan offers practical techniques for reducing conflict, improving communication, and creating healthier family dynamics. The emphasis on mutual respect and connection gives the advice lasting value beyond solving individual behavior problems.

Another notable strength is the broad range of topics covered. From toddler tantrums to teenage boundaries, the book provides guidance that remains relevant throughout multiple stages of childhood and adolescence. The practical examples and straightforward advice make it accessible for both new and experienced parents.

For readers seeking a refreshing, realistic parenting resource filled with humor, practical wisdom, and relationship centered strategies, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck delivers an insightful and empowering reading experience.

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Review

What a compelling and engaging book! The author's heartfelt connection with readers early in the book is the perfect way to draw the reader in naturally. The author struck just the right balance between educational and entertaining with this book’s material, not only giving parents guidance on working with their children in a healthy way on behavior but also infusing humor and wit into the writing style itself.

The main draw of this book is the insight into parenting this author brings to the table. The guidance appears simply put, yet holds the complexities that parents often overlook when struggling to find that balance with their children. Not only does the book give details on how to form a working partnership with their child and learn to teach them how to put decision-making skills into practice, but the book also highlights the need for parents to develop mantras and learn to let go of guilt altogether, giving readers a depth and valuable hook to draw parents into the book more and more.

The Verdict

Memorable, heartfelt, and engaging author Sue Donnellan’s “Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a Fck” is a must-read nonfiction book on parenting that all parents will want to grab for themselves. The reader's connection to the author herself and the close examination of what drives a child’s behavior and what works to help curb any negative emotions will have readers coming back to read this book time and time again.

[Lori Duff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck is by far the best parenting book I’ve come across. Its conversational tone makes it very readable. And beyond that, it’s just chock full of damned good practical advice. And, spoiler alert, it isn’t actually giving no f^cks. It’s about choosing your f^cks wisely: allowing your children to grow into independence with strength and wisdom. Also without losing your mind. Sue Donnellan had triplets. I would have lost my mind. She didn’t. She should know.

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is serious and straightforward. Thank you for your path that led you to sharing these strategies. We all know several of them and just have an auto response so often. Every parent should read this book, every person really some great strategies here to hold onto yourself in a chaotic world. Read over several months to really take this all in and reread, and repeated then completed April 2021.

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

This took me forever to get through because it was just repetitive nonsense. She took (some) common sense parenting and presented it as if she created it, then spewed a whole bunch of ridiculousness. The author talked AT you as if she was an expert, while also admitting she was not an expert. A lot of "you must do this..." followed by "I'm not claiming I know everything, but...."