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Dying To Be A Good Mother
It’s time to put yourself first. Your life depends on it.
You do not need to be diagnosed with cancer, like Heather Chauvin did, to realize motherhood doesn’t need to suck the life out of you. In fact, the more alive you feel, the less exhausted, irritable, and frustrated you’ll be.
Heather was once like you. A so-called successful working mother of three, juggling a growing career, parenting, and family life—she looked like the very model of success. But inside, she was dying. Literally.
One year after the birth of her youngest son, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer. In the blink of an eye, she saw just how far away she was from living a life she actually wanted. She had spent her entire adult life trying—and dying—to be a good mother. As she battled through months of chemotherapy, illness, and recovery, she realized something: it was time to start living. Not for others—but for herself.
In Dying to Be a Good Mother, Heather—now a TEDx speaker, host of the Mom Is In Control podcast and personal development coach—takes you through her journey with honesty, humor, and strength. She holds sacred space for you to cry, yell, scream and dig deep within your soul to return home to your true self. Part memoir and part personal development guide, you’ll learn how to put yourself first and find the happy you deserve.
You might resist this journey. But it’s time to stop using motherhood as an excuse not to take care of yourself, and give yourself permission to create space for what you truly want. It’s time to stop dying to be a good mother, and start living the life you deserve.
You do not need to be diagnosed with cancer, like Heather Chauvin did, to realize motherhood doesn’t need to suck the life out of you. In fact, the more alive you feel, the less exhausted, irritable, and frustrated you’ll be.
Heather was once like you. A so-called successful working mother of three, juggling a growing career, parenting, and family life—she looked like the very model of success. But inside, she was dying. Literally.
One year after the birth of her youngest son, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer. In the blink of an eye, she saw just how far away she was from living a life she actually wanted. She had spent her entire adult life trying—and dying—to be a good mother. As she battled through months of chemotherapy, illness, and recovery, she realized something: it was time to start living. Not for others—but for herself.
In Dying to Be a Good Mother, Heather—now a TEDx speaker, host of the Mom Is In Control podcast and personal development coach—takes you through her journey with honesty, humor, and strength. She holds sacred space for you to cry, yell, scream and dig deep within your soul to return home to your true self. Part memoir and part personal development guide, you’ll learn how to put yourself first and find the happy you deserve.
You might resist this journey. But it’s time to stop using motherhood as an excuse not to take care of yourself, and give yourself permission to create space for what you truly want. It’s time to stop dying to be a good mother, and start living the life you deserve.
262 pages, Paperback
Published March 8, 2021
34 people are currently reading
229 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 16, 2022
I wanted to love it but I honestly didn’t make it through the book. It feels like there’s a lack of passion or something missing from it. Can’t quite put my finger on it. Not bad, but not great.
March 29, 2021
This book was excellent! As an avid listener of Heather’s podcast, there wasn’t a ton of new information here but I devoured the book anyway.
Heather’s story is so compelling and yet so relatable. You don’t have to face a life threatening illness to understand that our culture is loaded with unhealthy and outdated messages for women, especially Moms. I particularly like the part about the stories we tell ourselves- something that Brene Brown also talks about in her work. I found it odd for Heather to also promote the work of Byron Katie within the book but it didn’t detract from the over all message of empowerment.
I did complete the exercises mentioned in the book as I went along despite finishing it so quickly. I don’t recommend reading this book like I did. It would be better read in chunks, leaving time for each activity. Heather also tries her best to give you examples for each activity but they would probably be best done with a coach or at least someone to talk through them with.
If you love personal development or are a Mom struggling to stay afloat, you will love this book!
Heather’s story is so compelling and yet so relatable. You don’t have to face a life threatening illness to understand that our culture is loaded with unhealthy and outdated messages for women, especially Moms. I particularly like the part about the stories we tell ourselves- something that Brene Brown also talks about in her work. I found it odd for Heather to also promote the work of Byron Katie within the book but it didn’t detract from the over all message of empowerment.
I did complete the exercises mentioned in the book as I went along despite finishing it so quickly. I don’t recommend reading this book like I did. It would be better read in chunks, leaving time for each activity. Heather also tries her best to give you examples for each activity but they would probably be best done with a coach or at least someone to talk through them with.
If you love personal development or are a Mom struggling to stay afloat, you will love this book!
September 15, 2023
I find self help books to be full of fluff and repeating very simple steps. I've always kind of felt like if you've read one you've read them all.
Heather's experience and stories mixed with her signature Energetic Time Management strategy kept me focused throughout the whole book. I could have read it in 2 days but some of the chapters I sat with for a couple days to think about her words & use the strategies in daily life.
Her ideas of how we think of ourselves and treat ourselves is different than other self help books and I appreciated her honesty.
"Not taking care of yourself is selfish" - Heather Chauvin
Will definitely be recommending this to my clients & patients.
Heather's experience and stories mixed with her signature Energetic Time Management strategy kept me focused throughout the whole book. I could have read it in 2 days but some of the chapters I sat with for a couple days to think about her words & use the strategies in daily life.
Her ideas of how we think of ourselves and treat ourselves is different than other self help books and I appreciated her honesty.
"Not taking care of yourself is selfish" - Heather Chauvin
Will definitely be recommending this to my clients & patients.
July 8, 2024
Heather’s life story is incredible. She truly overcame the worst experiences including cancer. I’m happy I read it, underlined several key takeaways aways but I don’t know that I can tell others about it because it’s a fairly specific audience. As someone who does already practice self care, I think it was a good reminder but made for those moms who are still stuck in the martyr lifestyle.
Happy I read her story though.
Happy I read her story though.
June 30, 2024
I really liked the book and the way she coaches women, but i think the book could have been more. I missed the depth of the teachings, while her personal story did have a lot of depth and was very nice to read about.
August 14, 2023
Liked this more than I thought. Struggled through the beginning, but came out with some good takeaways in the end.
July 30, 2025
Raw, inspiring, and deeply empowering, Dying to Be a Good Mother is a must-read wake-up call for every woman ready to reclaim her life, her joy, and her identity beyond motherhood.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 8, 2021
Fantastic Book!
I bought Heather's book through promotion by a friend in Facebook. My husband is a local author and I wanted to support another. There are 2 incredible parts to this book. First, her story. It is a powerful story of what it is like to go through a health tragedy in your life. I had my own health tragedy in 2016, but Heather's story still really outs things into perspective and reminds you of the strengths we are capable of. Secondly, the personal development encouragement and practices in the book are so good, and, I feel necessary for all mother's to put into practice. I will definitely be reading again to re go through all of the journal type activities.
I bought Heather's book through promotion by a friend in Facebook. My husband is a local author and I wanted to support another. There are 2 incredible parts to this book. First, her story. It is a powerful story of what it is like to go through a health tragedy in your life. I had my own health tragedy in 2016, but Heather's story still really outs things into perspective and reminds you of the strengths we are capable of. Secondly, the personal development encouragement and practices in the book are so good, and, I feel necessary for all mother's to put into practice. I will definitely be reading again to re go through all of the journal type activities.
April 22, 2022
Take control of the life you deserve
All too often, we love day to day doing the same things, reacting and feeling the same way, and never truly live our lives. Heather encountered a full stop when diagnosed with cancer, and realized the way she was living was serving no one. She shares her journey and offers the rest of us straight forward advice on being our authentic selves.
All too often, we love day to day doing the same things, reacting and feeling the same way, and never truly live our lives. Heather encountered a full stop when diagnosed with cancer, and realized the way she was living was serving no one. She shares her journey and offers the rest of us straight forward advice on being our authentic selves.
March 22, 2021
Highly recommend. Great book for moms with young kids who are coming out of the fog of overwhelm and want to uplevel their lives and parenting. Heather speaks to us all from the heart.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews