Note from the author:
A little about how this book came to be.
Thank you all for thinking about reading/reading/reviewing "A Woman of Intelligence." There are so many excellent books out there and I'm very appreciative every time someone picks up one of mine. As this book is such a personal story for me, I thought I'd give a little backstory. Here goes!
When I pitched my sixth book to St. Martin’s Press, I pitched a very different book than “A Woman of Intelligence.” But halfway through the pitch, at the top of the Flatiron Building, I stopped and said, “Actually, I don’t want to write this book. I can’t write this book.” As my editor tried not to faint, I added, “The only subject I can write about with any authenticity right now is motherhood. But not the good parts of motherhood. I want to write about the postpartum depression, the loss of identity, the utter rage that I’m feeling.” I had two children 18 months apart, and never experienced postpartum depression that comes on as depression. I experienced something else – anger like I had never had before – and a severe loss of identity.
The first time I travelled for work alone, I stood in front of a mirror and cried. I was crying because I did not recognize the woman in the mirror. It wasn’t the physical changes, it was the feeling that I had disappeared. That I had been replaced with someone I didn’t like, and that I didn’t recognize at all.
I remember a few years ago, a very good article went viral called "The Mom Stays in the Picture." It was about how women stop joining their children in photographs because they're not comfortable with the way they look. I related to that, and was thankful for the article, but it also made me think, “What about, the woman stays in the picture? The woman who existed before becoming a mother? Can she stay in the picture? Because she wasn’t for me, and it terrified me, and nearly broke me. Writing this book was part of the healing process, part of me trying to find myself again.
When I was writing, I thought about how much the women, the mothers who came before me had to juggle, and with far fewer resources. The time period I chose for the book, the Fifties, is, I think, one of the decades when women had it the hardest. It was a time when the men came back from war and the women were expected to get married, have babies, and find utter fulfillment. I read a quote from a housewife at the time where she explained, “there was no savoring the experience, only surviving it.” I often felt like that as a new mother, and wanted to lean into the Fifties, an era where so many women “disappeared.”
As Adrienne Rich wrote in her book “Of Woman Born,” which I so wish I'd read as a new mother, “we have no familiar, ready-made name for a woman who defines herself, by choice, neither in relation to children nor to men, who is self-identified, who has chosen herself.” I wanted to write a book where a mother chooses herself. And that’s what this book is. It’s a spy story, and a love story, and a book that I hope captures an era, and a struggle that women still face today, but that is ultimately about a woman choosing herself.
Thanks again for picking up “A Woman of Intelligence.” Please keep in touch.
Karin Tanabe