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Paperback
First published January 1, 1977
„Trăiam cu teama disprețului ei și-mi repetam peste zi propozițiile oriunde eram. În plimbările cu guvernanta, eram monosilabic și posomorît. Nu mai simțeam vîntul, nu mai eram atent la muzică, aveam permanent în minte propozițiile nemțești și sensul lor în engleză. Cînd puteam, mă furișam și le exersam cu voce tare... N-aveam nici o carte după care să mă controlez, mi s-a refuzat cu încăpățînare și fără milă... Dar ea era de părere că nimic nu se învață ușor; că, pentru limbi, cărțile nu-s bune; că trebuie să le înveți oral. N-a observat că de necaz mîncam puțin. Teroarea în care trăiam o considera pedagogică” (p.72).
„Nimic n-a fost mai hotărîtor pentru mine ca tavanul Sixtinei. Am învățat de aici cît de creatoare poate deveni încăpățînarea, atunci cînd se asociază cu răbdarea. Opt ani a lucrat la
Judecata de apoi” (p.240).
“Canetti tried his hand at the epic novel and concluded its pages in flames. He tried his hand at the grand unifying theory of crowds and wound up alone and lonely, claiming he never wanted or needed the followers he never even had. It was only in the memoirs that he achieved the dream of novelistic fluency and programmatic amplitude, though even that series went unfinished. Of the five planned volumes, each to be titled after an organ of sense, only three—The Tongue Set Free, The Torch in My Ear, and The Play of the Eyes—were completed and published.”
“I learned what hatred is. I had felt hatred when very young, much too young, at five when I had tried to kill Laura with an ax. But you don’t know what you have felt; you have to see it in front of you, in others, in order to recognise it and know it. Something you recognise and know becomes real only of you. You have experienced it previously. It lies dormant in you, and you can’t name it; then all at once, it is there, as a painting; and something happening to others creates itself in you as a memory: now it is real.”
“Our conversations at home had made me aware of how blind one could be if one wants to be blind. I began to understand that books were no different in this respect, that a reader has to be alert; that it is dangers to get lazy, putting off criticism and accepting whatever you are told.”
“I feel more and more myself. You’ve got the people in hand like soft dough and you can do anything you want with them. You could get them to start fires, to ignite their own houses. There are no limits to this sort of power. Try it yourself! You only have to want it! You want abuse this kind of power. You’ll use it for good cause, just as i do for for our cause.”
“It makes the necessity of enterprise seem even more valid. In this way I experienced the effect of a myth: something I have thought about in various ways during the ensuing half century, something I have often turned over in my mind, but never once earnestly doubted. I absorbed as a unity something that has remained in me as a unity. I cant find fault with it. The question whether I believe such a tale does not affect me; how can I, given my intrinsic substance, decide whether i believe in it. The aim is not to parrot the banality that so far all human being have died: the point is to decide whether to accept death willingly or stand up against it. With my indignation against death, I have acquired a right to glory, wealth, misery, and despair of all experience. I have lived in this endless rebellion. And if my grief for the near and dear that i have lost in the course of time was no smaller that that of Gilgamesh for his friend Enkidu, I at least have one thing, one single thing, over the lion man: I care about the life of every human thing and not just that of my neighbour.”