A love letter to literature and New York, clear and candid self-exploration, funny and moving at the same time... This memoir is really special to me. It may not be the page-turning, stay-up-all-night-to-finish story, but Joanna Rakoff's writing draws me into her world in a rare soothing way, like how cuddling up with a blanket in front of a fireplace during a New York winter would be like. Although I've never experienced either winter at home, a fireplace warmth, or even New York. But I'm pretty sure Joanna Rakoff's memoir embodies that.
"Lately, I'd been coming in earlier and earlier to bask in the cool quiet of the office. Sometimes I caught up on work. Sometimes I just sat at my desk and read, drinking coffee and slowly unpeeling a sticky bun from the ersatz Italian market in Grand Central. Sometimes I worked on poems, typing them up on my Selectric."
Anyone who knows me well knows I have been dreaming of becoming a writer since I could read my first book. A job in the literary industry, whether a publishing or an agency one like Rakoff's, sounds like the dream job for me while I practice my writing. It's so exciting and I'd get to make a lot of excellent connections. Unsurprisingly then, Rakoff's experience paints a lovely picture of such a job and I want it even more. But we both know that we want more and, definitely for her and hopefully for me, are meant for more. I love that she doesn't view her job as the job from hell - so many of such 'personal assistant office job' novels and movies like The Devil Wears Prada make it seem like these jobs can only be a nightmare, or at least, only entertaining as a nightmare. Rakoff reminds us that there's a quiet, focused rhythm in an office, establishing friendly special connections with the same few people you know well every day.
"On Bedford Avenue, other people like me - young men and women in retro office wear, heading to jobs at film production companies and graphic design firms and recording studios - were sleepily converging on the sidewalk, blinking beneath their Navy safety glasses and round schoolboy frames, messenger bags slung across their chests."
She creates a beautiful New York with its people intimately connected wordlessly, crossing paths in an almost surreal way in their daily habitual activities. Rakoff writes colourful, interesting characters too, especially her boss. I can't stand Don on countless occasions, but he's definitely portrayed uniquely and I don't sense any bitterness from Rakoff towards him in retrospect despite the way he treats her, which allows us readers to form our own impressions. And can she write some food blog or something, because this..????
"A moment later, my gyoza arrived, lightly charred, their green skins glistening with oil ... and though I knew the dumplings were too hot, I pulled one off the neat row, biting into it. Hot oil and broth spurted everywhere and my eyes watered all over again. For days afterward, the rood of my mouth prickled with pain, but for a moment I relished the burning."
(this is just one of the few I can find right now that's shorter)
Most of all, I love how she honestly explores her actions and feelings so curiously, it's like she's learning about herself at the same time we do. Sometimes when it's more subtle and mysteriously vague, I feel that she's not trying to be pretentious or smugly smart, but she's revealing all that she feels without picking at them with analysis:
"...for a moment I thought - I knew, my heart beating faster - that I was going to trip and fall down that small flight of stairs, the world around me rotating, but then I simply laid my hand on the railing, steadied myself, and continued down."
I can't end this review without talking about Salinger. Indeed I love Salinger - he's one of my favourite authors, and though I have many, he's definitely special. To me, he has a constant warm presence throughout this book, even when he's not actually mentioned. Besides his influence on Rakoff, encouraging her to be honest to herself, I feel that his mysterious quality complements the quiet and intriguing warmth that makes Rakoff's New York so attractive. Like many others have said, you don't have to LOOOOVE Salinger to like Rakoff's book. Many of the scenes concerning Salinger are so funny! I have a hard time imagining him in the way Rakoff describes him, but I probably feel that way for every single person whom I admire but have not met. I think if you do feel a connection to Salinger, you should most definitely read this book.
I hope she writes more in the future!!!