Nobody Tells You: Over 100 Honest Stories About Pregnancy, Birth and Parenthood

by Erika Rappaport

'A truly wonderful resource for new parents and prospective parents alike.' – Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt.

'Refreshingly honest . . . an insightful read for all parents to be!' – Midwife Marley

'A brilliant collection of parenthood truths and reassurances.' – Stacie Swift

A no-holds-barred collection of more than 100 real-life accounts of pregnancy, birth, and life with a baby, brought together with simple advice from pregnancy and postnatal expert Becca Maberly and consultant obstetrician Roger Marwood.

This broad range of honest pregnancy, birth and parenting stories, from the likes of Clemmie Telford, Molly Gunn, Megan Rose Lane, Anna Mathur and many more, is accompanied by professional and reassuring advice from experts that will help you navigate your own experience with positivity and confidence.

Nobody Tells You will give you all the tools you need to be informed and prepared for one of life's great journeys. Without any scaremongering or sugar coating, truths are shared about topics
* Trying to conceive
* C-Sections
* Postnatal recovery
* Not loving breastfeeding
* Self-care
* And many, many more!

Inspired by her own experience and frustration at the lack of honest information, Becca Maberly, pregnancy and postnatal expert and the founder of A Mother Place, and Roger Marwood, an obstetrician and gynaecologist, compiled this collection about the highs and lows of the unique and often nerve-wracking experience of pregnancy, childbirth and beyond.

Together, with the help of a range of contributors, they share their reliable, evidence-based advice with positivity and a good dose of humour. Whether you're just thinking about having a baby, you are already pregnant, or you have become a parent recently, this book is an invaluable guide.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Adult

272 pages, Hardcover

Published April 15, 2021

About the author

Erika Rappaport is professor of history at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

Reviews

[Zee Monodee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't expect this book to be so slim... I got this thinking it would be a lot of exposes/essays that go into great depth/detail to actually tell you what nobody tells you. However, this book is more a compilation of vignettes, with the title of each 'piece' already giving you pretty much everything the 'topic' in question is about.
Don't get me wrong - it is very honest and candid, and I loved the honesty which was very refreshing. However, the 'expert' parts left quite a lot unsaid - for a book that presents itself as a sort of one-stop-shop solution for all the questions a woman (and a man - don't forget dads) has about pregnancy and birth and the fourth trimester, it's merely a primer of what the actual info could really be about.
Still, it's a quick read, with good, honest information from the parents featured, and it will help anyone finding themselves needing a quick look into the topics it covers

[Kayla Mellas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not a fan of the title of this book and the concept “nobody tells you…” because are people listening?? Maybe more people would talk more freely about their experiences if others were more curious and safe.

Other than that, totally loved the essays and stories and the candidness is refreshing.

[Rachel Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely flew through this book. The format is a short snippet from a contributor about an aspect of pregnancy, birth or parenthood. This is followed by a summary list of bullet points to take away from each contribution. This format meant the book was an easy read in terms of style, even if it wasn't always dealing with easy content, and provided a full spectrum of experiences. This book shows that becoming a parent is different for everyone and no advice should ever be one-size-fits-all.

I think parents, anyone expecting a child or even thinking of trying for a child should read this book. It won't take long and it will likely help you feel less alone no matter what your perspective.

[Gabrielam13 · Rating 4 out of 5]

O colecție de povești cu relatări, impresii și sfaturi scrise de mămici și tătici care au trecut prin experiența sarcinii, nașterii și post-partum. Fiecare capitol începe cu o astfel de relatare scurtă, de jumătate de pagină sau mai puțin, urmată de o altă jumătate de pagină de explicații și încurajări din partea autoarei.

Multe dintre experiențele relatate sunt bine-cunoscute, însă multele altele m-au șocat: exercițiile pelvice (ce sunt și rolul lor), că există mai multe grade de rupturi de perineu, nu numai că există depresie post-partum, ci și psihoză, că prima vizită la toaletă după naștere e ceva de care să te temi, că alăptarea poate dura ore în șir, de multe ori în timpul nopții, că nu există o perioadă definită de oprire a alăptării (trebuie să ghicești momentul) etc.

În principal însă, mi-a plăcut tonul de încurajare al autoarei, de subliniere a faptului că orice emoție ai simți și gând ai avea, este normal și deloc neobișnuit, și că îngrijirea personală a părinților, psihologică și fizică, e la fel de importantă precum grija de noua creatură. Închei cu un poem drăguț creat de una dintre mămici:

May your coffee be strong
May your standards be realistic
May your inner voice be strong
May you replace perfection with ”enough”
May you devour the fun moments
And breathe through the though ones
May you cut many corners
And then,
As the eve draws near,
May your sofa be spacious and comfy, for flopping

[Becs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure this book has too many things that nobody has ever told you - I'm sure most women have heard the horror birthing stories, challenges of breastfeeding and are dreading the potential poo during delivery. But what this book does do is try to avoid scaremongering and negative perceptions of pre-pregnancy through to the post-natal period, and instead shares 100 stories from 100 real women (including the authors own experiences) and shines a more encouraging light on them. That isn't to say this book shies away from the scary stuff - there are still horrific birthing stories and poonamis everywhere you look - but it focuses more on the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if the tunnel feels very long, dark and full of terrors!

I'm not sure how I expected this book to be presented, but I really appreciated the single page spread for each person's story, and the commentary thereafter with a brief opinion from an expert to follow this up. I found the stories quite uplifting, and the factual information a comfort to read (even as a non-pregnant reader!).

Is it groundbreaking or a total eye-opener about the stuff nobody has told me? No, not really. But I really enjoyed hearing about 100 mothers (and fathers!) experiences, and I closed the final page feeling happier for having read it.

ARC provided from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachel Guy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was better than most anecdotal books on pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. This is literally a collection of approximately 500 words of feedback from over 100 women (and partners) who have had children. Everything is framed from the perspective of living in the UK so some vocabulary and resources are different than if you live in the US or elsewhere (obviously). I appreciated that the contributors and authors touched on the concept of racism, bias, and discrimination in parenthood. However, when it came to the one testimony about having a baby while being in a larger body (e.g. plus size or fat), I found the author's contributions triggering. So much of the "medical knowledge" around giving birth as a fat person is based around the medical and scientific communities' fatphobic mindsets and biases. Are fat women more likely to have a pregnancy that ends in a C-section because of actual health risks or perceived health risks? Are they more likely to get diagnosed with an at-risk pregnancy for actual health concerns or because your biased against fat people? While I appreciate the work that the anti-racist work the author had done, she clearly needs to unpack her fatphobic bias. While only a couple pages, this perspective left me with a bad taste in my mouth, even 150 pages later.

[Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was helpful alongside what I already knew from NHS and charity websites and apps, and what friends have gone through. There was some new information that I appreciated. However, as much I suppose it is hard to cover everything in detail as it is such a unique and personal experience, this book was not life changing (and this is my first pregnancy). Maybe I read it to late, the first section helped with some anxiety in the first trimester, but also added some new worries unintentionally. I put it aside until the third trimester and maybe I already read too much from other sources by then.

I liked that personal anecdotes to illustrate the points but would have liked more details, evidence and/or information in the “our advice” section, to build on my existing knowledge or what is available on the NHS website etc. but easy to read and enjoyable!

[Han · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many thanks to NetGalley and the author for a copy of this e-book in exchange for an honest review.

‘Nobody Tells You’ is a collection of anecdotes about pregnancy, birth and becoming a parent. The collection of stories is also interspersed with useful snippets of advice. For context, I read the book whilst pregnant with twins and did find some of the anecdotes relatable.

Although the collection will no doubt be relatable for many women expecting a baby, I would have expected and appreciated more practical advice to be included in the volume. The narrative approach was not really for me, but I would recommend the book for any mum-to-be looking for a more light-hearted and engaging introduction into what to really expect when you’re expecting.

[Vicki Swift · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was invaluable to me as a first time mum-to-be. It’s a collection of real stories from real people about their experience with pregnancy, birth and motherhood, interspersed with factual sections shedding more light on the topics mentioned. Reading it felt like a journey, covering everything from conception to returning to work. The stories were written by such a range of people - encompassing different genders, sexualities and faiths - it really felt like no stone was left unturned.

As I’m still in the pregnancy stage, I’m learning every day that there are a million things nobody tells you about carrying a baby - and to include it all in one book would make for one hefty read! So where I initially thought ‘I wish they’d included something about how morning sickness can actually be diarrhoea instead of vomiting/how painful trapped wind will be’ etc., that would just be too much detail. The important stuff is all covered and I feel much more prepared for the rest of my journey as a result of reading this.

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable, will definitely be picking this book up for when a baby comes my way, I have advised all my currently pregnant friends to get their mitts on a copy too. A thoroughly enjoyable read and I love how it brings other women together simply through the title.

Very good and a definite must for any parent to be or any one thinking about going down that road, simple and easy enough to read, the authors experience shines through!

Many thanks to Netgalley, the publishers and Becca Maberly for this free ARC in return I have provided my honest review.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book, one that has given me insight I wouldn't otherwise have, and one I will read again when I start trying for children.
The only addition I would have liked to get it up to 5 stars is (and I know ot isn't strictly in line with the book) is a story on adoption, as I personally feel like it's the form of having children that is overlooked an awful lot, and for women who can't have children it's the only option and feel it's important to highlight that it's still a completely valid way to have children.

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a quick and easy read on the topic of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood. It features 2-3 pages per ‘topic’ and is structured with a story from a real-life parent, followed by expert advice. If you like the style of book with true stories, this is for you. However, I personally do not like this style, hence the lower rating. I also found nothing new in this book in the expert section that you wouldn’t get from other books in the same theme.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, sweet and to the point- my kinda book!

This was lovely to read in my third trimester to put my mind at ease for what lays ahead and to help set my expectations of motherhood. Also a great account to follow on Instagram, loads of honest daily stories and a bit of fun too! Can't wait to wear my "mother of all pants" 😉

[Amanda Narvali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book to read if you are curious about what it is like to be pregnant, and if you want to be well informed before thinking about having a baby. I believe this book only touches the surface of some issues, and I think it would have been beneficial to include anecdotes from a medical professional alongside the women's stories.

[Stacey Bookerworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish someone had written Nobody Tells You before I was pregnant with my son. It is helpful and informative without being alarmist.

Read more of our review here: http://www.bookerworm.com/reviews/741...

[Aimée Bell · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice compilation of short anecdotes about pregnancy, birth and parenthood. As I progressed through the book, I found most of the stories had a negative tone and the advice was quite repetitive which was a shame! 3 stars.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Made me giggle a few times but nothing really new content wise

[Natalie Darby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolute must have for all new mums to be. No literature telling you what's right or wrong, just open, reflective accounts written by women who have been in their own unique situations.

[Kotryna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is pretty basic and fine to skim through but it was very light on the relatable content for me.

[Rebekah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite what I expected, would have liked the personal stories to be longer