No Straight Thing Was Ever Made: Essays on Mental Health

by Urvashi Bahuguna

As a person with mood disorders that sprung up in her late teens, Urvashi Bahuguna had to navigate being the first person in her Indian family to admit to and seek help for a mental illness. The changes and challenges which came with this admission and the actions that followed not only impacted who she became as a person but also everything around her-from her interpersonal relationships, both familial and romantic, to the way she walked among her friends and peers and the manner in which she connected with art, literature, popular culture, they all became new and unknown.

Through these deeply honest essays that move between personal narratives, anecdotes from conversations and research-driven storytelling, Bahuguna traverses the opportunities and roadblocks that come her way with the tools she has available to her. From a writer of astonishing talents, No Straight Thing Was Ever Made bravely discusses the many facets of living with mental illness.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Essays, India, Indian Literature, Psychology

200 pages, Hardcover

First published February 22, 2021

Reviews

[Celina · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you want to understand mental illness, either you’re dealing with it or know someone dealing with it, this book can shed a light on what really happens. Note: What people go thru is never the same

[Kalpashri☆ · Rating 5 out of 5]

'But even in their fifties,my parents expanded. They learnt. Does that make it all forgivable? I do not know. I have only learnt to make the questions smaller, my heart a little bigger.'

'Repetition is a language all on its own. Being stuck is a language all on its own'.

'The romantic relationship is privileged in the collective imagination over other kinds of relationships- it is supposed to make us whole,to possess comforting powers of longevity.'

'It becomes easy to interpret that the images I'm consuming are holding themselves to high standards of sincerity, that these are the only standards of sincerity that matter.'

This is one of those books that gets a 5 star just cause of how imperfect it is and impact ful for the same reason. Also I'm a sucker for the gorgeous, gorgeous writing.

[Ananthu · Rating 4 out of 5]

This, among other things, made me feel less alone. Hoping to write a little more about this soon.
4.5/5

[Tantravahi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is high rating, but I'll tell you why. The book reads like that diary you maintain, that you'd never publish lest the world peg you down for one of the 'crazies'. It reveals neediness and desperation and loneliness and depression and anxiety and spiraling and doubting yourself and your capability to work, to succeed, to fall in love, to have a family, to make a child, to have a functioning relationship with the family you already have, to travel, to see the world, and what it has to offer, in entirety. Urvashi's explored some aspects, in her innocence no doubt, like taking up art or gardening, as a solution to the instability inside one's mind. Scholars of mental health literature would argue that the book's written by a novice carving instructions in baby language on the walls of a cave they've lived in their whole life. Gardening. Seriously. Or bird watching. Preaching to the choir that's infiltrated by the Mensa crowd. But, I respectfully disagree. I think she tried and I think she went a step ahead, by conducting independent research on what other people have said about her (our) situation, or other people have felt. Imagine Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking, minus the death of her husband, and the heart-wrenching vocabulary. You get No Straight Thing. I'm still recommending it, and the fourth star is only to keep this passing around for a bit longer, 'cause I want people to relate to this and I want people to derive comfort, if only like the first fire of a long winter to come.

[Sookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is an intimate memoir of a woman who battles early onset of mood disorders, and navigate life with it, around it. there is a homeliness to the narration, given the familiarity of her origin and the struggles that one would go through as an adolescent but feeling more.

it seems everything is just more and for a young woman who was still testing the waters of being a new adult, the sense of it all seemed to be overwhelming. it was perhaps a learning curve for both, her and her family.

one advice i received was - just listen, don't try to fix.

[Mahesh Dilip · Rating 4 out of 5]

More triggering that I braced myself for
More relatable that I would ever admit
More comforting that I ever expected

[Manjit Oberai · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some writers have a voice but not a single original thought in their heads. And then there are those that ramble on - the ideas there, but the expression lacking. Urvashi falls in the category of writers that not only have a voice, but also have the capacity to take ordinary experiences and reflect upon them in a manner that shines a totally new light upon them. She writes with an honesty that gently draws you into her world. Staggeringly wise, I kept wondering how this twenty-something-chit-of-a-girl even knows the things she knows? Ok fine, maybe she’s wise beyond her years. But how on God’s green earth does she articulate her thoughts with such consummate ease? Her self awareness is extraordinary for her age. Reading her essays, I felt her pain, her insecurities, her struggle. They unsettled me like any good piece of writing should do.

I loved the Two Deer in the Headlights essay. It struck close home having been in a relationship that I spent more time being unhappy in than happy. In fact, I have something to say about each and every essay she wrote but - at best - my expression will be inadequate. So read them yourself. You’re in for a treat. All I’ll say is that I love and envy, in equal parts, her wisdom as well as her ability to turn a phrase. Both are gifts she must share with the world. So please continue telling your stories. Always. This is what you were born to do.

[Sumedha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest.


"When you are very very tired, you can't throw that tired away."
To me this title of one of the chapters sums up the emotion throughout the book.

Since it's a compilation of essays, not surprising that your interest may vary from chapter to chapter. Possible you may be intrigued by some more than others.
I will not be surprised at all if some people find it boring at parts or altogether, given the topic plus that it's an essay format.

I did find the book a lil drab at some parts, felt that some chapters had a repetitive tone (but then there were parts I couldn't even remotely connect to.)

If you have been lucky enough to have not encoutered/ seen mental health issues up close, some emotions may feel difficult to imagine and some feelings alien.

However, broadly as a human being we are bound to experience various emotions in some intensity over the course of life. Take what you can from it.
But more importantly take away a small glimpse into the struggles with mental illness that we don't see, even if we think we do.

[Aman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chillingly honest, "No Straight Thing Was Ever Made" is a personal account of experiences and reflections of the young yet wise beyond her years writer, Urvashi Bahuguna. Her ability to put into words the feelings so many of us experience on a day to day basis and struggle with, is both promising and praise-worthy. There are many aspects about the book which I liked, and would like to share:

(1) the references from literature and popular culture the author uses to discuss the spectrum of mental health experiences.

(2) the feminist undertone of the text : Most of the references made are from authors/speakers who identify with the pronoun of "her".

(3) the way the author observes her mind and her body.

The book can be difficult to take in at times, especially when one is sensitive to anxieties and depressive disorders for any number of reasons. The book doesn't offer any promises or clear answers, but that can be said to be the biggest learning itself - that you can be mentally ill, and still manage life with it. The author argues for a perspective of 'managing' and 'coping', rather than trying to 'fix' or 'cure' the disorder.

By the end of the book, reading it feels like a warm, confiding, personal hug, that one likes to give or receive after crying one's eyes out. I'm grateful for this sense of confiding, and 'healing' the book brought to me.

Thanks for reading.

Aman.

[Marissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am very choosey when it comes to self help/non fiction/self development type of books.
I gave this book 3 stars because the takeaways I got were profound but not very many in comparison to other books I have read. Maybe just not my type of book but could be great for someone else.

"live with spaciousness"

Quotes that resonated

I am sitting on a mountain of accumulated memories. I am a child, teenager an adult all in the same moment.

I hated explaining myself. But I saw how a narrative changes when I am forced to explain each bit.

See how being quiet and merely watching will give one answers to the questions one hacks away at relentlessly without reward in the night.

Internet
Thinking more deeply about how it is rewiring our brains and warping our experience of time

Phone-
There is a noise that comes with being so easily available to the world.

The more I spend away from screens, the more I discover it is possible to live a life where ?I am not beholden to a constant loop of feedback that isn't my voice.

Remember to do nothing. I? feel better, calmer- a feeling ?I seek from my phone but never get.

There is now space to notice when I am experiencing symptoms that require me to take care of myself.

With the help of quiet, I listen to myself better, I see things that matter to me, hold my interest and keep me well.

When I allow quiet places to thrive within me, I am more alive to the stimuli around me.

[Maanvi · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I found that one can love what one does not love all of."

I both inhaled, and paused, reading Urvashi Bahuguna's "No Straight Thing Was Ever Made." I inhaled every essay because so rarely do you find a young Indian woman write perceptively, beautifully, and honestly, about the pitfalls of living with mental illness. And I paused, because some of the lines were so stark in their beauty, that they made me look at my own life with a new light. (Like the best books compel you to.)

I especially enjoyed the essay on being online. Bahuguna writes on how the noise of social media platforms makes her feel like her friend who stands on the side of a busy road with her eyes clenched shut. The noise, is simply, too much.

What Bahuguna stays with throughout the book is a simple assumption, expressed in the title of the book. No straight thing was ever made. So, what does it mean to live a life with a mind that meanders, and twists?

Irrespective of our encounters with the dark, we all could do with understanding the answer to that question.

[Prakarsha Pilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

TW: Suicide, Depression, mental health issues.

- The author's own experience with mental heath and therapy.
- There is nothing to review about the contents of the book for me because it is her life and journey. There is nothing right or wrong about it.
- The book shuns many myths about mental health issues like they happen only to those who are poor or who fail exams. A person may be smiling all day, being productive at work, making money and still be depressed.
- The author acknowledges her privilege of having parents who could pay for anything she preferred, in India or abroad. Therapy is expensive and there is no second thought about it.
- Writing about one's mental health troubles is extremely important. It reminds us that whatever we went through/going through has happened to thousands of others. We are never, never alone.

[Sasi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Urvashi has written an intensely personal, nuanced, life walk in her book 'No straight thing was ever made'. Writing about her ongoing tryst with depression, she takes us down to the depths she had plumbed and every mark she made on her way up, out of it. And into the next trough.
In all this, there is never any depressing thought. Urvashi's writing sparkles like rain, making everything new, leaving you with a smile.
An amazing fresh writer, I expect to see her writing win accolades sooner than later.

[SudhaSleeps · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartfelt writing about the reality of navigating your life with depression and so on. It resonated with me personally because I have been through low phases and then depression like the author herself - when she was away from home and studying in college. People faces, perceives and deal with mental health issues quite differently but if you are a caregiver or someone who has no idea about mental turmoils such as this, give it a read to understand your loved one's dilemmas and feelings. It is as much as an educational read, as an personal relief.

[Arpit Raj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inexperienced, my goal was to understand mental health issues better. The book certainly helped widen my horizons. The author walks us through her struggle in different aspects of her life while facing poor mental health. She succinctly presents us with passages that are both relatable and inspring. It gives hope to a reader suffering from mental illness and invaluable insight to those looking to understand people better.
A must read book, especially if you lack awareness on the topic.

[Vishal Talreja · Rating 4 out of 5]

A personal account of depression that is deeply relatable, moving and thought provoking. Helped me feel seen, validated and acknowledged for some of the similar experiences and travails with depression I have had. A great book also for families experiencing mental health issues within family members to relate and empathise with them

[Harshita Tibrewala · Rating 3 out of 5]

A personal narrative written by someone who has suffered/is suffering from depression and anxiety. It's the first time I have read such a personal perspective and I found it enlightening and informative to say the least. I enjoyed the anecdotes and references that the author used, it made the story feel more real. It was a good read, not very gripping but engaging nonetheless!

[Nirupama · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so grateful for this book. As someone who's lived with mental disorders for most of my life, I REALLY NEEDED to read these essays. To know I'm not alone. And it's okay to be somewhat 'broken'. A reminder that things will be good sometimes, bad sometimes, but I'll get through. And I should read and write more.

[Ritika Chawla · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book provides intimate insights into the mind and life of someone struggling with serious and chronic mental illnesses. I believe that everyone will benefit from reading this book either by gaining greater insights into and perhaps acceptance of their own mental health, or/ and by nurturing greater empathy for those who struggle with it. The essays are a collection of vignettes making the book immensely readable. The reading experience is further enriched by author's almost lyrical writing.

[Angel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunning! It's real, raw and so beautifully written. I loved it from the very first page till the very last page. I know I will return to this collection again and again over the years and will be at a loss for words each time.

Thank you for allowing this book to exist in the world!

[Rituraj · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was not sure if I should give it a 3 or a 4 star but what helped me decide was the fact that it is a brave attempt by the author to put out her vulnerabilities out there, especially in an Indian context where mental health is still considered a taboo in most households.
Great job!

[Vidhi Shah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains some emotionally charged essays. It's not often you come across writing that's so honest and vulnerable and that's probably why it may make you feel less alone in your mental health journey. Be warned though, it has the power to sweep you into the flood of its emotions.

[Ekata · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would highly recommend!

[illesha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honest. Difficult. Insightful.

[Ushnav Shroff · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit fresh than most voices but still nothing to write home about.

[Saumya Premchander · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in two sitting, taking the occasional break to remind myself to slow down, and register every word. Cannot recommend this elegant, lovely set of essays enough.

[Aneesha · Rating 5 out of 5]

So very hard, but so very beautiful.

[Preya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always found the right books at the right time. I think reading this book has more or less saved my life.

[Gouri Kapoor · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a courageous book, to say the least. I am glad I finally finished it, having abandoned it in 2020. I had my own reasons for doing so. However, I am glad that I went back to it this year. The author answers questions and articulates thoughts which many in her situation would fear to grapple with. Read it if you are looking for support on your mental health journey.

[AS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Going through the author's journey was alternatively breezy and difficult, although at times I had to put the book down, since it hit too close to home. Some chapters resonate and some don't, overall a comforting journal that worked for me