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Forming Resilient Children: The Role of Spiritual Formation for Healthy Development
Many children today are growing up in the midst of adversity, whether brought on by family difficulties or larger societal crises. All children need to be able to deal with stress, cope with challenges, and persevere through disappointments. While we cannot protect children from all hardships, we can promote healthy development that fosters resilience. In this interdisciplinary work, Holly Catterton Allen builds a bridge between resilience studies and children's spiritual formation. Because children are spiritual beings, those who work with them can cultivate spiritual practices that are essential to their thriving in challenging times. This book equips educators, counselors, children's ministers, and parents with ways of developing children's spirituality to foster the resilience needed to face the ordinary hardships of childhood and to persevere when facing trauma. It offers particular insight into the spiritual experiences of children who have been hurt by life through chronic illness, disability, abuse, or disasters, with resources for healing and hope.
200 pages, Paperback
Published September 21, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
December 31, 2021
It’s a common trope that kids “bounce back” from whatever it is that bothers them. But it’s not so much that kids are adaptable or resilient as much as they often have little agency to change their situation or no ability to express or process their hurt. What at first seems like resilience is really something else entirely. Holly Catterton Allen calls readers away from this false and presumed resilience and toward a purposeful, formative resilience based in spiritual formation and development. Forming Resilient Children explores the role of spiritual formation in child development, noting how a child’s relationships and environment affect their overall resilience.
On one hand, nothing in the book was truly groundbreaking. On the other, that means that its principles are all straightforward and commonsensical. They can get lost amid the struggles of everyday life, but we all know that—or should know that—a child’s relationship with their parents and grandparents has an effect on their spiritual formation. What Allen does that’s unique is tie this in with resilience, the process of adapting well to adversity, trauma, or stress. The stronger the foundation of spiritual formation, the more likely a child is to be resilient.
One thing that I wish Allen would have addressed in more depth is causality. Children lacking in spiritual formation may also be more at-risk for abusive or traumatic experiences. The book details the role of parents and grandparents as key to spiritual formation, but those relationships are also the most common vectors for abuse and trauma. While Forming Resilient Children does speak to those in child-centric professions, I think more could have been done to practically engage with teachers, children’s and youth pastors, and coaches to develop appropriate responses as non-parental figures.
Overall, though, Forming Resilient Children offers a clear, academic, and cohesive model for building resiliency. Allen scatters the text with enough stories—there’s a whole chapter on the power of story—that key you in to the power and purpose of the work. Some of these stories take a child-centric focus on traumas like the devastation of Hurricane Katrina or the school shooting at Sandy Hook. Other stories are more personal, from the author’s own life. Through it all, I just kept coming back to “Yes, just treat them like little humans.” And that’s what it comes down to. You form resilient children not by treating them like emotionless baggage to carry through life, but you talk with them, relate to them, give them opportunities to have agency and express themselves. Resilience comes with a grasp of identity and humanity. When children understand who they are—as children of God—their ability to adapt and overcome is vastly improved.
On one hand, nothing in the book was truly groundbreaking. On the other, that means that its principles are all straightforward and commonsensical. They can get lost amid the struggles of everyday life, but we all know that—or should know that—a child’s relationship with their parents and grandparents has an effect on their spiritual formation. What Allen does that’s unique is tie this in with resilience, the process of adapting well to adversity, trauma, or stress. The stronger the foundation of spiritual formation, the more likely a child is to be resilient.
One thing that I wish Allen would have addressed in more depth is causality. Children lacking in spiritual formation may also be more at-risk for abusive or traumatic experiences. The book details the role of parents and grandparents as key to spiritual formation, but those relationships are also the most common vectors for abuse and trauma. While Forming Resilient Children does speak to those in child-centric professions, I think more could have been done to practically engage with teachers, children’s and youth pastors, and coaches to develop appropriate responses as non-parental figures.
Overall, though, Forming Resilient Children offers a clear, academic, and cohesive model for building resiliency. Allen scatters the text with enough stories—there’s a whole chapter on the power of story—that key you in to the power and purpose of the work. Some of these stories take a child-centric focus on traumas like the devastation of Hurricane Katrina or the school shooting at Sandy Hook. Other stories are more personal, from the author’s own life. Through it all, I just kept coming back to “Yes, just treat them like little humans.” And that’s what it comes down to. You form resilient children not by treating them like emotionless baggage to carry through life, but you talk with them, relate to them, give them opportunities to have agency and express themselves. Resilience comes with a grasp of identity and humanity. When children understand who they are—as children of God—their ability to adapt and overcome is vastly improved.
January 9, 2022
People of faith frequently need both language and license to say what’s true, even if it’s not a commonly held belief in the broader culture. For decades, the importance of the spiritual nurture of children has been questioned, particularly since most twentieth-century psychologists operated from a secular materialist worldview. If matter truly is all that matters, it’s hard to make a case for the primacy of the spiritual life, particularly in a context in which spiritual realities are deemed irrelevant—or non-existent.
Given that children are spiritual beings AND given that children need resilience to manage life on a fallen planet, I couldn’t have imagined navigating the growing-up process with my four sons without a worldview that recognizes the sovereignty and the goodness of God. Fortunately, the work of Holly Catterton Allen is building a bridge between resilience studies and real life, and in Forming Resilient Children: The Role of Spiritual Formation for Healthy Development she argues that children need spiritual strength in order to cope, particularly in these challenging times.
Since nurturing spirituality does, indeed, promote resilience, parents, grandparents, and educators need strong support in preparing children to survive both the routine disappointments of life and also the more severe adversity, trauma, and grief that befalls even the most well-established families. Allen demonstrates how routine habits of holiness as part of a child’s life and exposure to a thriving faith community can help to strengthen and support the God-bestowed spirituality that is key for living with resilience in the growing-up years.
Since resilience in children is interconnected with spirituality, Allen makes a case for fostering children’s spirituality in public education settings and defines spirituality in terms of the three relationships everyone experiences with self, with others, and with God. Coming from a Christian perspective of spiritual formation, the church is the ideal support system for the home in providing tools, encouragement, and accountability for building resiliency in our children. Like us, our children are on a path of transformation into Christ’s image, and Forming Resilient Children provides case studies and dozens of examples of how we can nurture spirituality in our children, and, in the process, also contribute to their resilience.
Many thanks to IVP for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which is, of course, offered freely and with honesty.
Given that children are spiritual beings AND given that children need resilience to manage life on a fallen planet, I couldn’t have imagined navigating the growing-up process with my four sons without a worldview that recognizes the sovereignty and the goodness of God. Fortunately, the work of Holly Catterton Allen is building a bridge between resilience studies and real life, and in Forming Resilient Children: The Role of Spiritual Formation for Healthy Development she argues that children need spiritual strength in order to cope, particularly in these challenging times.
Since nurturing spirituality does, indeed, promote resilience, parents, grandparents, and educators need strong support in preparing children to survive both the routine disappointments of life and also the more severe adversity, trauma, and grief that befalls even the most well-established families. Allen demonstrates how routine habits of holiness as part of a child’s life and exposure to a thriving faith community can help to strengthen and support the God-bestowed spirituality that is key for living with resilience in the growing-up years.
Since resilience in children is interconnected with spirituality, Allen makes a case for fostering children’s spirituality in public education settings and defines spirituality in terms of the three relationships everyone experiences with self, with others, and with God. Coming from a Christian perspective of spiritual formation, the church is the ideal support system for the home in providing tools, encouragement, and accountability for building resiliency in our children. Like us, our children are on a path of transformation into Christ’s image, and Forming Resilient Children provides case studies and dozens of examples of how we can nurture spirituality in our children, and, in the process, also contribute to their resilience.
Many thanks to IVP for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which is, of course, offered freely and with honesty.
July 22, 2025
Read my longer review at SpoiledMilks (06/24/25).
Holly Allen’s Forming Resilient Children explores how nurturing a child’s spirituality builds resilience amid life’s challenges. Drawing from theology, developmental psychology, and trauma studies, Allen argues that resilience isn’t just a trait children are born with—it’s shaped by intentional relationships with caregivers, churches, and communities.
Allen begins by defining children’s spirituality and Christian formation, then shows how spiritual health supports emotional resilience. She provides practical tools for parents, grandparents, and faith communities, emphasizing intergenerational relationships, wonder-filled Bible engagement, and embodied practices like prayer or play. Later chapters guide readers in helping children through trauma and grief with holistic care—emotional, spiritual, and physical. Her chapter on hope reminds us that resilience is rooted not just in coping but in looking forward.
While some language (like “spirituality” over “Jesus”) feels broad, her research-based and compassionate approach gives Christian caregivers a deeper framework than surface-level parenting tips often found online. Allen doesn’t suggest we must entertain our kids constantly—instead, she calls for intentional, grace-filled presence that allows children to process, question, and grow in faith.
Recommended for parents, pastors, counselors, and educators, this book is a deeply theological and practical guide for forming whole, hope-filled children.
Review Disclosure: I received this book free from IVP Academic for an honest review.
Holly Allen’s Forming Resilient Children explores how nurturing a child’s spirituality builds resilience amid life’s challenges. Drawing from theology, developmental psychology, and trauma studies, Allen argues that resilience isn’t just a trait children are born with—it’s shaped by intentional relationships with caregivers, churches, and communities.
Allen begins by defining children’s spirituality and Christian formation, then shows how spiritual health supports emotional resilience. She provides practical tools for parents, grandparents, and faith communities, emphasizing intergenerational relationships, wonder-filled Bible engagement, and embodied practices like prayer or play. Later chapters guide readers in helping children through trauma and grief with holistic care—emotional, spiritual, and physical. Her chapter on hope reminds us that resilience is rooted not just in coping but in looking forward.
While some language (like “spirituality” over “Jesus”) feels broad, her research-based and compassionate approach gives Christian caregivers a deeper framework than surface-level parenting tips often found online. Allen doesn’t suggest we must entertain our kids constantly—instead, she calls for intentional, grace-filled presence that allows children to process, question, and grow in faith.
Recommended for parents, pastors, counselors, and educators, this book is a deeply theological and practical guide for forming whole, hope-filled children.
Review Disclosure: I received this book free from IVP Academic for an honest review.
April 11, 2022
This was a good look into how to mold and shape children who are prepared to face the struggles of life. My main critique is that much of this happens naturally. People survive and get through things. Some do it poorly and some do it well, but either way life goes on. Allen makes a great case that a spiritual tradition one can anchor themselves to is desirable and helpful when troubles come. Her tips for helping children through severe trauma were also helpful.
June 26, 2022
I enjoyed the practical ideas given here to engage kids with their spirituality! It will be helpful to me as a parent, member of an inter-generational community, teacher, and community advocate!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews