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What's Up with White Women?: Unpacking Sexism and White Privilege in Pursuit of Racial Justice
As a white woman, ask are you upholding or fighting racism?
What's Up with White Women? is a practical guide for white women who are interested in becoming more effective in their cross-cultural, anti-racist practices.
Blending real-life stories, theory, and anti-racism practices from decades of on-the-ground work, the authors invite white women to understand their gendered role in systemic racism and their unique opportunity for action. Both frank and compassionate, coverage
Stories of white women's experiences with sexism, racism, and white privilegeHow white women harm BIPOC and ourselves by colluding with systems of oppressionWhy and how white women often hijack race conversationsA powerful six-stage identity development model for self-reflection and growthGuiding questions and practical actions for strengthening anti-racism practicesTools to cultivate genuine partnerships with BIPOC individuals and groups.White women are positioned in a power hierarchy between white men and BIPOC. It is time for white women to step up and undertake deep reflection on their role in systemic racism and take concrete actions that support equity and justice for all people.
AWARDS
SILVER | 2022 IPPY Awards - Current Events II (Social Issues/Humanitarian)
What's Up with White Women? is a practical guide for white women who are interested in becoming more effective in their cross-cultural, anti-racist practices.
Blending real-life stories, theory, and anti-racism practices from decades of on-the-ground work, the authors invite white women to understand their gendered role in systemic racism and their unique opportunity for action. Both frank and compassionate, coverage
Stories of white women's experiences with sexism, racism, and white privilegeHow white women harm BIPOC and ourselves by colluding with systems of oppressionWhy and how white women often hijack race conversationsA powerful six-stage identity development model for self-reflection and growthGuiding questions and practical actions for strengthening anti-racism practicesTools to cultivate genuine partnerships with BIPOC individuals and groups.White women are positioned in a power hierarchy between white men and BIPOC. It is time for white women to step up and undertake deep reflection on their role in systemic racism and take concrete actions that support equity and justice for all people.
AWARDS
SILVER | 2022 IPPY Awards - Current Events II (Social Issues/Humanitarian)
273 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 19, 2021
30 people are currently reading
523 people want to read
About the author
Ilsa M. Govan
3 books4 followersIlsa believes we stifle children’s innate sense of justice when we tell them, “Life’s not fair.” As a child, she questioned why girls were supposed to like pink and boys like blue, why her parent’s LGBTQIA+ were targets of hate crimes, and why her Black neighbors were evicted from the apartment next door. Growing up working class, she wondered how come Colin got the 64 pack of crayons with the sharpener and she had to settle for 12 colors (and that stealing his would lead to shame in front of the whole 1st grade class).
Later in life, this led to a deep examination of her own identity as queer, White cis-gender woman. Ilsa has been lucky enough to find others with this same passion for social justice and partner in writing two books. The first, co-authored with Dr. Caprice D. Hollins, is a guide for leading the necessary and difficult conversations they have been practicing as Co-Founders of Cultures Connecting since 2008: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion: Strategies for Facilitating Conversations on Race.
What’s Up with White Women? Unpacking Sexism and White Privilege in Pursuit of Racial Justice, co-authored with Tilman Smith, invites other White women to join them in looking at their stories of assimilation, resistance, and justice-centered leadership.
Later in life, this led to a deep examination of her own identity as queer, White cis-gender woman. Ilsa has been lucky enough to find others with this same passion for social justice and partner in writing two books. The first, co-authored with Dr. Caprice D. Hollins, is a guide for leading the necessary and difficult conversations they have been practicing as Co-Founders of Cultures Connecting since 2008: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion: Strategies for Facilitating Conversations on Race.
What’s Up with White Women? Unpacking Sexism and White Privilege in Pursuit of Racial Justice, co-authored with Tilman Smith, invites other White women to join them in looking at their stories of assimilation, resistance, and justice-centered leadership.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
January 9, 2022
This was good. This was also, a LOT. The book is fantastic, especially as a reflection tool; it made me think and opened my eyes and mind to things I hadn’t considered or thought of. It was also very academic and I couldn’t speed through it. I went slowly and just did 10-15 mins per day.
March 16, 2023
Well worth reading. Lots of clear explanations. My advice don’t get caught up in the levels and lose the focus of the content. The content is solid and helpful and clarifying. This is level 2 notching up from the white fragility book.
November 7, 2021
Excellent, challenging, much needed tool for self-reflection. Highly recommended.
May 23, 2022
this book was actively whack
November 21, 2024
If you're a white lady, currently looking around at the state of our country thinking "what the hell is happening? I feel so helpless and hopeless, what can I do? How did us white people (looking at the overwhelming data about who voted for what) let this happen again?" Give this book a read. I cannot say enough - it's a great way to hold a mirror up to yourself and really take a look at how the biases we grew up with are barriers to achieving social justice. It also called some direct attention to things that I know I do constantly - it's hard to see what those around me believe in and supported and not become instantly enraged. I feel like this gave me a good perspective on how to approach those that don't see the same as I do and have difficult conversations without things instantly becoming hostile. it's also given me some ideas on ways I can actively get involved in change instead of sitting around, reading books about the topic, and being very sad.
If you're even remotely interested in any of this, give it a read. The audio book is free if you have Spotify premium. Take care of yourselves friends💓💓💓
If you're even remotely interested in any of this, give it a read. The audio book is free if you have Spotify premium. Take care of yourselves friends💓💓💓
January 27, 2026
This is an incredibly dense amount of information for such a broad and deep subject matter. There are a lot of big bombs dropped in the space of five to six words. While this is a short(ish) book, do not think that it's going to be quick. There's a lot of time needed to pause and reflect on the concepts discussed here - and it's important to do so to continue to better educate ourselves on issues of racism.
December 28, 2023
Some hard truths in this book! Worth a read.
December 15, 2021
A very interesting approach to covering the complex interactions of gender discrimination and racial discrimination, aimed at an audience of white women. As the book explains, while white women are victims of sexism, they can in explicit and implicit ways enforce or reinforce white supremacy by their action, inaction, or even their tears. Rather than taking a 'scolding' approach, I feel this book does an excellent job for having real empathy for everybody in the equation; it helps that the authors (and their board of colleagues) present personal experience where they have acted poorly or well, as I suspect that vulnerability will help those who have traditionally found this type of content challenging. I think the stage-wise approach it takes will also help people understand that this kind of understanding is a journey, and they are unlikely to get to full understanding/empathy in one step. In that vein, I'm particularly curious to see how my white women-identifying friends and colleagues react to the book and whether they can incorporate the lessons into their thinking and actions.
February 15, 2023
Old white guy here. The topic is timely and wanted to read perspectives other than my own. Agree with virtually everything, and glad I read it, but it’s a lot of Overthinking: a short book but it still overanalyzes the issues. And the authors — white women who make their living coaching people on racism — give it an undertone of a memoir on how they got to be better white women than other white women. The book, especially given the tone of the title, might better have been written by people of color.
January 29, 2024
This was one of my favorite resources I’ve ever read. I loved the exercises after each stage to try out alone or with others, I loved the collaborative nature of the writing and the examples, and I was so thankful to have a tool to help me check in with myself and ways to call other white women into the conversation and work. Thank you to Tilman and Ilsa!! Thankful I got to be in a caucus space with you and then to be able to read your work!
January 10, 2023
This is not just for white women. As a Latina, I learned a lot and realized I had some of these damaging mentalities.
February 2, 2026
You will have to forgive this review because I am tired and writing it late, so it may not be my best.
The contents of this book engage with five different stages of racism - immersion, capitulation, defense, projection, balance, and integration. The way this book explores the dynamic between sexism and racial privilege was really interesting to me. I also appreciated the clarification of the different stages presented in this book.
On a personal note, reading anti-racist works involves a lot of analysis and thought. I will be upfront I felt challenged and I learned a good chunk of information I haven't been expressly taught. It was valuable informative read and I am glad my bookclub decided to engage on this. The authors are right we cycle through different stages and are likely never fully going to be naturally anti-racist. It will be ongoing exhaustive work.
That is all the politeness I have toward this book since I found the authors insufferable which is unfortunate. I would not recommend this book to those beginning an anti-racist journey. Hell I don't know if I would offer it to those who are more advanced and aware than me because of how irritated I got with the authors.
As an example, and mind you this is from the book, they advised that we don't get a ribbon for being the best white ally and that they were disappointed too. Several repeated comments along those lines just felt patronizing. I also don't find much nuance reflected in the lived experiences and subconscious racism within communities of white people. There was little to no engagement on how unchecked capitalism created then maintains the dehumanizing and cruelty of racism. And maybe that is too much to expect in 200 pages.
This felt specifically written for financially secure white women between their 30-50s who want to feel bad about how racist they are so they can feel good that they are trying to be anti-racist. I found it overall tiresome and tedious even though it offered useful information. The ending of the audiobook where they spent time reading all the acclaim toward this book was just the cherry on top.
I would recommend Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates instead if I were to recommend something. So I am knocking off two stars because I legitimately don't think I could be in a room with these two women without wanting to smoke half a pack of cigarettes.
The contents of this book engage with five different stages of racism - immersion, capitulation, defense, projection, balance, and integration. The way this book explores the dynamic between sexism and racial privilege was really interesting to me. I also appreciated the clarification of the different stages presented in this book.
On a personal note, reading anti-racist works involves a lot of analysis and thought. I will be upfront I felt challenged and I learned a good chunk of information I haven't been expressly taught. It was valuable informative read and I am glad my bookclub decided to engage on this. The authors are right we cycle through different stages and are likely never fully going to be naturally anti-racist. It will be ongoing exhaustive work.
That is all the politeness I have toward this book since I found the authors insufferable which is unfortunate. I would not recommend this book to those beginning an anti-racist journey. Hell I don't know if I would offer it to those who are more advanced and aware than me because of how irritated I got with the authors.
As an example, and mind you this is from the book, they advised that we don't get a ribbon for being the best white ally and that they were disappointed too. Several repeated comments along those lines just felt patronizing. I also don't find much nuance reflected in the lived experiences and subconscious racism within communities of white people. There was little to no engagement on how unchecked capitalism created then maintains the dehumanizing and cruelty of racism. And maybe that is too much to expect in 200 pages.
This felt specifically written for financially secure white women between their 30-50s who want to feel bad about how racist they are so they can feel good that they are trying to be anti-racist. I found it overall tiresome and tedious even though it offered useful information. The ending of the audiobook where they spent time reading all the acclaim toward this book was just the cherry on top.
I would recommend Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates instead if I were to recommend something. So I am knocking off two stars because I legitimately don't think I could be in a room with these two women without wanting to smoke half a pack of cigarettes.
March 7, 2026
While this book raises salient points, its interventional offering (the diagnostic system of phases organizing the book) does not seem to provide a helpful contribution to the discourses around intersectional issues. Further, its research design is vibes-based, drawing from authorial experience and small focus groups touted as diverse that lack significant viewpoints and experiences (they strongly skew highly educated and nonreligous). This explains the high amount of generalizations. This book pretends religion doesn’t exist, both as an agent of oppression and as a tool of liberation. I found this gap to be *significant*, and as a smaller gap, they didn’t cite Gayatri Spivak, which just seemed odd. There is a fine line between qualitative research and “mesearch,” and the book teeters toward the latter.
This book, with a different organizational scheme and framing (such as “10 Ways White Women can Pursue Racial Justice”) could have been much more effective and practical. Though, I suspect that would not be as publishable as a book like this.
The anecdotes may prove useful to some, but I think the intended audience of white women may be more usefully shaped by literature (fiction and nonfiction) by diverse authors. Even the Zootopia franchise addresses many of these issues well! I’m glad this book has helped some people, but I’m academically deeply unimpressed.
This book, with a different organizational scheme and framing (such as “10 Ways White Women can Pursue Racial Justice”) could have been much more effective and practical. Though, I suspect that would not be as publishable as a book like this.
The anecdotes may prove useful to some, but I think the intended audience of white women may be more usefully shaped by literature (fiction and nonfiction) by diverse authors. Even the Zootopia franchise addresses many of these issues well! I’m glad this book has helped some people, but I’m academically deeply unimpressed.
September 24, 2022
A fine entry into the "how white women prop up white male supremacy and why they should stop" genre. Read it in two sittings on a lazy Saturday morning (when I really should have been working, but hey, I worked last weekend). Does a nice job of showing how white women, if they are willing to throw off the chains and the privileges of access to power their proximity to white men give them, can progress from immersion in the heteropatriarchy to integration in a deeper, more just world.
It spends a whole lot of time on the reality of white female tears and defensiveness as so many of us try to be better people (or, perhaps, be perceived as better people) and end up imposing burdens on the people of color around us disproportionate to the benefits we bestow.
I did find the way the authors dropped in the first names of people I did not know a little jarring. I have trouble enough remembering the names of people I've met; people I've never met, I need more clues for.
It spends a whole lot of time on the reality of white female tears and defensiveness as so many of us try to be better people (or, perhaps, be perceived as better people) and end up imposing burdens on the people of color around us disproportionate to the benefits we bestow.
I did find the way the authors dropped in the first names of people I did not know a little jarring. I have trouble enough remembering the names of people I've met; people I've never met, I need more clues for.
February 12, 2026
I wanted to like this book and the reviews were promising. I was looking forward to learning how sexism and capitalism exacerbate rasicm. What I read was a primer on what racism looks like through the eyes of rich white women.
That in itself is not bad. But as the book progressed the authors went from speaking over people of color to using humiliation tactics to get white women to recognize their racism. All while still not asking the people of color in the room how they felt.
I struggle with giving books bad reviews because I recognize we all come from different places in our learning. But I worry that white women are given higher reviews and praise because 'they are doing the work'. We should all be working towards anti-racism. But we should be platforming books with people who aren't patting themselves on the back for doing the bare minimum.
That in itself is not bad. But as the book progressed the authors went from speaking over people of color to using humiliation tactics to get white women to recognize their racism. All while still not asking the people of color in the room how they felt.
I struggle with giving books bad reviews because I recognize we all come from different places in our learning. But I worry that white women are given higher reviews and praise because 'they are doing the work'. We should all be working towards anti-racism. But we should be platforming books with people who aren't patting themselves on the back for doing the bare minimum.
September 26, 2025
4/5 ⭐
I went into this with an open mind and came out with a better understanding of myself. Knocked a star because it certainly would be better in a group setting or workshop, so I didn't get the full experience from this.
It was not always easy to sit through, and I (like I hope other white women felt while reading this) saw myself in all of the phases presented. The last two chapters were very impactful, especially as someone who considers herself a very empathetic and sympathetic person. I hope other white women don't feel the need to turn away when this book gets uncomfortable, but rather use it to understand WHY they feel uncomfortable.
I went into this with an open mind and came out with a better understanding of myself. Knocked a star because it certainly would be better in a group setting or workshop, so I didn't get the full experience from this.
It was not always easy to sit through, and I (like I hope other white women felt while reading this) saw myself in all of the phases presented. The last two chapters were very impactful, especially as someone who considers herself a very empathetic and sympathetic person. I hope other white women don't feel the need to turn away when this book gets uncomfortable, but rather use it to understand WHY they feel uncomfortable.
May 23, 2023
Honestly, I recommend every white woman and man and non-binary individual should read this at least once. It was wildly eye opening and created several opportunities for deep critical reflecting. I found that reading Abolitionist’s Handbook by Patrisse Cullors was an excellent primer.
November 24, 2024
I didn’t always connect, agree nor see myself in this book. It had good reminders of using my privilege, treating others well and always working to make the world better. I continually learn from others.
May 21, 2024
This is a book helped me understand my interpersonal relationships inside and outside of sexism and racism. Wow. I have no doubts this book will grow with me through life.
October 1, 2024
A fantastic read that covers a lot of topics really well. It took me a while to get it done because it absolutely requires some reflections as you go! Highly recommend it!
August 16, 2025
6⭐️
phenomenal
phenomenal
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews