Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes: Essays

by Phoebe Robinson

New York Times bestselling author, comedian, actress, and producer Phoebe Robinson is back with a new essay collection that is equal parts thoughtful, hilarious, and sharp about human connection, race, hair, travel, dating, Black excellence, and more.

Written in Phoebe's unforgettable voice and with her unparalleled wit, Robinson's latest collection, laced with spot-on pop culture references, takes on a wide range of topics. From the values she learned from her parents (including, but not limited to, advice on not bringing outside germs onto your clean bed) to her and her boyfriend, lovingly known as British Baekoff, deciding to have a child-free union, to the way the Black Lives Matter movement took center stage in America, and, finally, the continual struggle to love her 4C hair, each essay is packed with humor and humanity.

By turns insightful, laugh-out-loud funny, and heartfelt, Please Don't Sit On My Bed In Your Outside Clothes is not only a brilliant look at our current cultural moment, but a collection that will stay with you for years to come.

Introduction: 2020 was gonna be my year! (LOL) --
Yes, I have free time because I don't have kids --
Guide to being a boss from someone who has been building a mini empire for the past two years and counting --
#Quaranbae --
Black girl, will travel --
Please don't sit on my bed in your outside clothes --
We don't need another White savior --
Bish, what? That's English?!: a tale of an American dating a Brit --
Self-care is not a candle and therapy is not a notebook: how we are doing the most and the absolute least at the same damn time --
4C girl living in anything but a 4C world: the disrespect

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Humor, Audiobook, Memoir, Comedy, Feminism

352 pages, Hardcover

First published September 28, 2021

About the author

Phoebe Robinson is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actress whom Vulture.com, Essence, and Esquire have named one of the top comedians to watch. She has appeared on NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers and Last Call with Carson Daly; TBS's Conan, Comedy Central’s Broad City, and @midnight with Chris Hardwick; as well recently landing a recurring role on the new Jill Soloway show for Amazon I Love Dick.

Robinson’s writing has been featured in The Village Voice, NY Mag, and on Glamour.com, TheDailyBeast.com, VanityFair.com, Vulture.com, and NYTimes.com. She was also a staff writer on MTV’s hit talking head show, Girl Code, as well as a consultant on season three of Broad City.

Most recently, she created and starred in Refinery29’s web series Woke Bae and, alongside Jessica Williams, formerly of The Daily Show, she is the creator and costar of the hit WNYC podcast 2 Dope Queens as well as the host of the critically-acclaimed WNYC podcast Many White Guys. Robinson is the author of the New York Times best selling book, You Can't Touch My Hair, a collection of essays about race, gender, and pop culture. Robinson lives and performs stand-up in Brooklyn, NY, and is busy planning her upcoming nuptials to Michael Fassbender.

Reviews

[karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

oooh, goodreads choice awards finalist for best humor 2021! WHAT WILL HAPPEN LET’S FIND OUT!

having enjoyed phoebe robinson's stand-up and sketch comedy, i picked up this book in the middle of a bleak-week, hoping to be wrenched out of my mood with laffs. but it's not that kind of book. it's less a humor-humor book than a book of essays written by a humorous person—the subject matter is often serious and important, but she softens the blow(s) with her comedic sensibilities.

written during the quarantimes, many of the essays address the concerns that had us all glued to our newsfeeds throughout that whole experience, nursing our collective anxieties with increasingly horrific stories about the pandemic, BLM marches, escalating violence, and police brutality.

we were all put through an emotional wringer by the events of 2020 (and its ongoing repercussions). some people used that time for introspection and clarity, and some used it to marathon The Great British Baking Show and Grey's Anatomy. twice. each.

phoebe robinson falls into the first category, and even though everything's still fragile and uncertain, she is Doing Her Part to help us all heal just a little bit.

The best I can offer at this moment is that I am a funny person and if I can make you laugh and forget your problems for a moment then I did something. Although I'm not on the front lines, I'm still living in this, too, and it's probable that my way of looking at life could be of use to someone who just needs to laugh. I crave levity because I don't want the time inside to rewire my brain or convince me to lose all sense of optimism. Because in the face of it looking like we're all fucked, giving up would be letting down those in my family and friends who haven't. So I won't give up today. And I'll try not to tomorrow.

to that end, although she doesn't shy away from examining any of 2020's Big Bads, she also shares her reflections and insights about topics as varied as pooping in quarantine,* the importance of wearing matching underwear, and the social media trend of celebrities posting culinary videos during lockdown, proving that US magazine got it wrong—stars are clearly NOT just like us, because they're prepping weeknight-prawns while we're over here scrabbling for toilet paper.

the essays are voicey and entertaining as hell, even though i frequently had no frame of reference for their subject matter: tips for running a business, traveling the world, the challenges of 4C hair, being pressured to start a family or get a dog, etc etc. the venn diagrams of our respective experiences rarely overlaps, but it doesn't matter because she's an engaging writer with a strong personality so i could appreciate it without relating to it.

as an aside: i'm not an audiobook person, but i think i would have enjoyed listening to this one, because the cadence of her writing is very conversational, and her fondness for hashtags, phonetic spelling, and truncating words (nash anth), might be less distracting in an audio format. #I'mSoOld

in any medium, she's an impressive powerhouse of a human being. she started a production company called tiny reparations, which now includes a publishing branch—tiny reparations books—and this book marks the imprint's debut. not even a pandemic can stop this businesswoman handling her business, and it's all kinds of aspirational and intimidating: she's got her shit together and is doing everything with her time, building an empire while i'm sitting over here writing silly book reports that no one's gonna read instead of figuring out a way to make some money. #PhoebeRobinsonPleaseMentorMe.

i want to call out two particular, and wildly dissimilar, essays.

first, the titular essay: Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes.

so let's talk outside clothes.

while the concept of "outside clothes" is not unfamiliar to me, i thought it was one of those antiquated notions from a bygone era, but nope! phoebe robinson, about a decade younger than myself, is a staunch proponent of outside clothes, so much so that she asserts:

We need to start redlining heaux and if you don't have outside clothes, around-the-house clothes, and in-bed clothes: YOU. CAN'T. VOTE.

i live in the same new york as she does, but even though my brain knows (and has become more paranoid about during this whole pandemic thing) that subways are germy and the outside world is dirty, it has never once occurred to me to put on a whole 'nother outfit just to go to the store.

some of the material for this essay is drawn from social-media conversations between the author and folks who are, apparently, as disgusting/careless as me:

So wait...say I get up in the morning and decide I want to pop out and get a coffee. I'm supposed to change into full "outside clothes" to go across the street for my coffee and then back into my pajamas when I get home? And then later when I need to run to the store or take out the garbage, I'm supposed to change into new outside clothes and then back into my pajamas when I come inside again? WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS??? I get up in the morning and get dressed for the day, no matter how many times I go outside during the day. My pajamas only go on when it's time to eat.

Oh, boy. This. Is. Rough. And no, we're not "hanging tough." #MomJoke #NewKidsOnTheBlockForever. For real though, I'm at a loss for words. If you're going outside multiple times a day, just have an "outside clothes" outfit by your front door that you change in and out of and then put it in the laundry bin at the end of the night. Why are we acting like that's not an option? Why are we behaving as though changing in and out of PJs is akin to doing high school trig?

although this essay made me feel chastised (don't take away my vote please!), the thought of switching between public-facing and private clothing multiple times a day seems exhausting.**

even though i am always on my best behavior and mindful of other people's house rules, in my own life i guess i'm just a sloppy person. i have never, for example, in all my years of having boobs, washed a bra. not once. but i do take my shoes off before walking around my apartment—i'm not an animal. shoes touch places where animals (and people) pee, but how is my hoodie getting contaminated on my two-block journey to key food?

i thought that outside clothes was a generational thing, she claims it's a cultural thing that white people don't get (an informal poll of my social circle suggests that we're both correct—black grannies are ON BOARD with this), but even though that's never gonna be my life, i adore her passionate stance on this matter.

We Don't Need Another White Savior

this was my favorite essay (and, yes, i DID initially read that title to the tune of We Don't Need Another Hero , which she declares makes me "[her] kind of person," so maybe i can has my vote back now? if she's willing to overlook my unwashed bras, i'm willing to overlook how she uses my name as a pejorative several times in this book).

on that note, i'm a white girl named karen, so obviously i'm the last person who should be weighing in about racial matters on the internet, but this chapter, which is about virtue signaling and performative allyship, is worth a thousand empty gestures inspired by White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, so i'm just gonna hand her the reins:

Reading, highlighting, and posting prompts on social media for robust discussions in the comments section can be fun and get the adrenaline pumping, but ultimately wind up being nothing more than empty exercises the majority of the time. I can think of two main reasons why.

One, many performative allies operate as though racism is this abstract, philosophical debate that doesn't have stakes in their world. The corporations need to step up. The executives need to do better. These celebrities should be canceled for [insert racially insensitive comment]. This white person is so unbelievably racist in a viral cellphone video. These books are teaching me about past racism and discussing hypotheticals. The racism is always somewhere other than where anyone is. Like what is racism? Fucking Nickelback CD's? The band has sold more than 50 MILLION ALBUMS, but nobody owns a copy? LOL. Okay. Similarly, there is no audacity to perform racism in any and all of its ugly forms without a system, meaning people to support it. So somebody's out here "racisting," but if folks can't even acknowledge the ways in which they intentionally and unintentionally hold up systems of oppressions, how can they change their behavior? Simply put, they can't.

So what ends up happening is the cycle of white guilt, which leads to the task of self-improvement then goes back to white guilt because change isn't happening fast enough or at all. And as we all know, guilt is never a good motivator to rectify behavior, but a license to wallow in the pity, which leads to more guilt about their participation in systemic racism, which is now combined with them feeling bad about the fact that they feel bad. Basically, white guilt is a Cathy comic, y'all. Like that bitch always has a sob story. Constantly caught up in the drama without realizing she's a key architect of the spectacle that is her life. Always getting fired and acting like she doesn't know why. It's like, "Cath, Jamba Juice let you go because you were making smoothies to bring home to your cats." (her footnote: That is a real plot from the comics. Normally, I choose a side, but I'm Switzerland this time because cats need a balanced diet.) #ThisConcludesMyAntiRacismSeminar #CanIGetPaid40K?

The other reason why most of performative allyship is ineffective is that folks move in extremes and go from zero to one hundred as an antiracist. One day, they were unaware how pervasive racism is and the next, they're flooding their social media with information, showing up at marches and protests, screaming about supporting Black businesses. WHERE DID ALL THESE WHITE PEOPLE COME FROM?! I'm serious. You ever throw what you thought was going to be an intimate get-together and it turns into a full-fledged house party and a bitch who was not invited, but showed up with napkins and red Solo cups, now acts like they call the shots and pay your property taxes? That's how this aggressiveness in being antiracist comes across sometimes. And while I'm sure a decent amount of it is well-intentioned, intent doesn't matter when it's causing more harm, and from what I can see, as the number of non-POC participants in antiracism increase so does the "May I speak to your manager?" energy. The revolution cannot and should not be Karenized.*** That vibe wants fast results, placation, and constant positive reinforcement, and recontextualizes easy wins as major victories, so that when the wins don't quickly happen or happen at all for the weightier and messier issues, disappointment and frustration settle in, threatening to dissuade future efforts.

To me, lacking patience and expecting results immediately for both the micro and macro issues that plague America shows a complete lack of understanding of how pervasive and fundamental racism is to the foundation of our society. Truth be told, systemic racism will most likely not be dismantled in our lifetime. While I would like things to change so that all my Black brothers and sisters and I can live in a better world, I know that's not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is that those who come after me will not have to experience even a tenth of what I have. Achieving that goal requires a level of acceptance in the face of glacial progress and that is, in part, what prevents burnout and allows one to stay the course.

Too often what we're seeing is people blowing off steam at the first sign of adversity and then not rolling up their sleeves and jumping back into the fray. And that combination of impatience and losing interest because massive change has not happened since they decided to get active when there have been people on the front lines for years and decades doing the exhaustive work to dismantle racism is the opposite of staying the course. It's participating in a trend, in a moment. This is not a trend. I repeat: This is not a trend. We have to undo every single institution—both big and small—in our country. And if the expectation is permanent change, then we must understand that the system cannot change unless the people in it, particularly the ones who benefit from it in myriad tangible and intangible ways, change as well.

this whole essay is GOLD. long may her empire flourish.

so, it's maybe not a book that's going to help you forget the current challenges, but you get wisdom and laughter, so it's well worth the read.

***************************

* best opening to an essay...ever?

I'm not saying you should shit yourself in front of your significant other (IS THIS THE MOMENT WHERE I RUIN ANY CHANCE OF BEING AN OPRAH BOOK CLUB SELECTION? I. FUCKING. THINK. SO.), but I believe that unless you do mortifying things, accidentally or not, that make your partner pull a Walter White and get a burner phone so they can create a Raya dating profile to search for fresh peen or vajeen, then, frankly, you aren't in a relationship.

** although, to be fair, much of her type a/git-er-done life sounds exhausting to me

*** hhmph.

come to my blog!

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny and real essay collection! I liked how Phoebe Robinson inserts so much of her genuine voice into these essays that cover a wide range of topics. My favorite parts of the book included the ones that focused on her choice to remain childfree, the importance of investing in Black narratives aside from those that solely about Black pain and anti-Black racism, and her wrestling with her natural hair within the historical and sociopolitical context of Black women’s hair. I also appreciated her tidbits centering her friendship with her best friend Mai. A few of the other essays felt a bit more meandering and unfocused (e.g., the essay about quarantining with her boyfriend or the one about dating a British person), however if you do not feel critical of that type of writing you may even enjoy those essays as well.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m a little unsure why no one seemed to have edited this book. Was there an editor? Like, actually? If there was, did that person understand their assignment?

Sooo I guess I’ll step in, then, with some editorial thoughts:

More jokes do not equal more humor. Let the good ones stand; ruthlessly cut the rest. They don’t serve you or your words.

What works on a podcast doesn’t necessarily translate to a book. CC: truncating every other word, dropping deep-cut references, SHOUTING FOR EFFECT. Not saying we need to strive for formality here, but this read like a 300-page Instagram post.

Stay focused. Think: what are you really trying to say? Voices don’t need to fit in neat little boxes — political, activist, humor, observational — and I’d argue that taking a layered approach is more interesting and human. In this case, though, I don’t know *who* this book is for. There are certainly funnier authors out there, if you want humor. There are more effective agents of social change, if you want activism. What are you bringing to the table?

Edit, edit and edit some more. I counted multiple typos and instances of incorrect punctuation. Just no with that. She also presents an unproven/debated anecdote about cops after the killing of Ma’Khia Bryant as fact, which I found troubling. There are countless examples of police officers being terrible, racist humans, so it seems like she should have drawn from one of those to make her point, instead. We don’t need to give deniers of police brutality against Black people any fodder here. [Note: I had to edit this section because I initially misquoted the author the first go-round. The irony of this happening under my admonishment for better editing is not lost on me.]



Disappointing books make me sad.

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

Y'all, I struggled with this one. I didn't want to! I think Phoebe is so smart and I really appreciate the way she's able to discuss some really important topics with humor that never feels like it's detracting from said importance. It's been two years since I read/listened to her previous book and I'd forgotten that, even then, I was beginning to grow a bit weary of Phoebe's style. I really love the humor and pop-culture aspects, but for me, it's just too much. It's one of those things where less is more and I wish there were fewer tangents or multiple jokes when just one would have sufficed. I think this is probably exacerbated by the fact that I listened to it on audiobook and it sort of highlighted some of the style aspects that just personally weren't for me. I thought the essay content was great, but struggled with the writing style here.

[Rachael Fryman · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are going to want to pre-order this one! Available September 28, 2021!

One Sentence Summary: A smart and funny essay collection that will entertain and educate in only the way Phoebe Robinson can.

Reminds Me of: I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual meets Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Three Reasons You Should Read This:
1) This was most anticipated read of the year and will most likely be my FAVORITE read of the year.
2) While Phoebe uses silly words and pop culture references often (much to my enjoyment, mind you), it always works well with the actual substance of each essay. She is the best at making meaningful commentary on the world while making you LLOL aka LITERALLY laugh out loud.
3) This is Phoebe's third book, and while I whole-heartedly recommend you read ALL three, I think each one has gotten better and better!
P.S.) Is the title and cover not reason enough?!
P.S.S) This book is being published on Ms. Robinson very own brand new imprint: Tiny Reparations!

One Thing You Should Know Before You Pick it Up:
If you aren't up on your pop culture and/or you don't know much about U2, keep your phone handy for Google reference! You might even want to do a little research on U2 beforehand, because you will be hearing about them!

*Disclaimer: I received an advance reading copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley.*

[Mei · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only finished this for the integrity of my goodreads annual challenge. I found it very self indulgent, not that funny, and her comments about being old at 36 were annoying. Most of all, I wish she would have used footnotes for actual citations rather than over explaining jokes.

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book read by the author, which of course is the way to go! These are very current essays (this is her third book in four years after all!) including some pandemic related topics. One highlight is an examination of being a Black and Female boss, a topic she struggled to find much about when she became one herself (and with her new production company and publishing imprint, she is arguably killing it!) One of the later essays continues her examination of her experience with her hair, which was the topic of a previous book.

[Bon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmm. This was an uneven listen for me.

The racial discussions were informative and made me think a lotttt about tourism and travel marketing. The token black friend analysis was on point. I was here for the solidarity with Asian-Americans who were persecuted during the initial waves of covid and still are. But when it was about more generic topics, I felt trapped into listening to, like another reviewer mentioned, an instagram caption that was trying very hard and was very long.

Phoebe launches into a long diatribe about wearing non-matching underwear. Newsflash: we aren't all cishet date-crazy millennials who need to impress others or can boost our own self-image with a matching set of underwear.

She talks shit about having pets and how she never wants one herself and equated it to wanting kids. Uh, No. A lot of times it felt like loud exclamations and expletives were substitutes for content.

I wholeheartedly am on board with Outside Clothes and the title, though. The audiobook experience was...Interesting. 3 stars.

[Lori · Rating 2 out of 5]

In her first book, I felt like I had found a nerdy best friend to talk Star Trek & U2 with but something has changed. With every book, I am relating less to Phoebe. All the hash tags & AFs in her second book turned be off but I thought I would give her another try. Nope its over. Its you Phoebe, not me. I was provided an ARC of this book from Netgalley for my fair review.

[Bri Little]

Due back before I could finish!

but I was deeply moved by the essay about choosing not to have children. So much of it resonated, and ofc Phoebe is funny af.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one started out really well for me and then quickly went downhill. I had never heard/seen her before so I had no idea how funny she was. The first half was me learning her comedic style and learning about her being a boss and a strong, driven woman. Love it.

Then it quickly became almost torture. Some were writing choices that irked me: she talks to her audience like they are dumb. She shortens/abbreviates every 20TH word (and then immediately after tells you the actual word..so it’s like what was the point of that?) and she was constantly making a joke/reference and then I’m detail explaining it..like we’re all too dumb to understand anything

She made amazing points about white fragility, being an “ally” and overall how to not be a garage white person. I respect it, I agree with it 100%

But all of her hot takes on being a woman and just a person in society rubbed me wrong. She would make these bold claims and then down the line contradict herself..like what? She went on this rant about how as a woman, if you don’t match your bra & underwear every day then she judges you very harshly because that’s the standard…like WHAT? WHO COULD AFFORD TO HAVE A MATCHING BRA TO EVERY PAIR OF UNDERWEAR?! And her whole thing about sitting on your bed in “dirty” clothes..like I get it. But it came off like you just need to constantly be changing in to new clothes through out your day..like WHAT? WHO HAS THE TIME AND MONEY TO BE CONSTANTLY DOING LAUNDRY LIKE THAT?

She name dropped U2 about 100x

Overall I just got mean girl vibes from her. You know that scene where Regina George compliments a girls vintage skirt and the second she turns around she says “that is the ugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen”..that’s the vibe I get. She complained a lot and offered no resolve. (Not saying it’s required to give a solution to every problem you present..but when it feels like all that’s happening is complaining about others with no self reflection or strategy to make things better..it just comes off as entitlement)

She also only referred to her boyfriend as “British bake off” and mentioned him every 5 min. So by the end of it I was just tapped out.

OH PS: She is 36 and she kept talking about it as if she was this elderly person..like STOP IT. 36 is an adult but not OLD.

ALSO. SHE COMPARED HAVING PETS TO CHILDREN WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT ONLY PEOPLE WITH NO CHILDREN SAY AND THAT INFURIATES PEOPLE WITH CHILDREN BC LIKE HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU POSSIBLY COMPARE A HUMAN TO A PUPPY

[Aliza · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could do without the abbreviated words and hashtags but, apart from that, I felt very heard and validated when I read this book. She sometimes goes on rants and it reminds me of really talkative people who talk about one thing and then bring up a story from five years ago as an interlude, and I saw reviews that were annoyed by that, but, like, a vast majority of books written by celebrities or show writers or comedians are built like that.

This book isn’t for everyone. And I love that. It is written for a specific audience, specifically black females. And that’s grand. Of course, anyone can pick it up and read it but there’s content in here that is going to resonate so much deeper if you live the experience of Black females. So when I saw reviews saying they didn’t understand the book or asking who was it for…well, not you. And that’s perfectly fine.

[Crystal]

DNF @ 27%

I have no interest in business or 'building an empire' so this got to be a bit too much and I was eh about the ins and outs of it all (the necessity of firing a bad employee was not what I wanted to spend my time on).

[britt_brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, Phoebe, let’s hang out already! I. So. Wish. She’s such a funny storyteller and incredibly honest in her weirdness. Makes me feel better about my idiosyncrasies. These essays cover a wide variety. Very relatable and often educational. Still trying to wrap my head around outside vs inside clothes. 😂 If you haven’t listened to her books yet, you’re missing out!

[Misse Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

So here’s the tea: this ish right here was HILARIOUS! From the books title, Please Don’t Sit On My Bed In Your Outside Clothes (which by the way is always a debate-worthy topic), to the relatable chapter headings and content to the very considerate and timely set of pop-culture references weaved throughout.

Johnson brings us all the juice in this new essay collection with themes that run the gamut including race, hair, dating, and Black excellence. I think what I enjoy most about this particular grouping of stories is how the author was able to pack so much relevant information into such candid and vivid personal accounts and yet still kept it light and humor-filled. Hitting on topics pertaining to the pandemic and quarantining, the Black Lives Matter Movement, struggles with 4c hair, what it means to be a Black woman boss, and my favorite discussion about how self-care is not a candle and therapy is not a notebook.

Please Don’t Sit On My Bed In Your Outside Clothes I liken to having a long convo over brunch with your besties after social distancing for well over a year. Incredible! Say that ish, Sis!!!

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Dutton for granting me an advanced electronic copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

While it kind of read like a really long tweet or Instagram post (complete with mid-sentence hashtags and a lot of directly addressing the audience), Robinson was able to tackle a huge range of subjects from the silly to the serious. Her humor is fantastic and I loved her exaggerated scenarios -- when she said her joints sound like somebody trying to sneak into a plastic box of cookies in the middle of the night, I busted out laughing and have continued to laugh every time I think about it.

I also think she made a lot of fantastic points about the white-centeredness of anti-racism - I can think of several white friends who would benefit from actually reading this book and listening to a person of color on the topic and not centering anti-racism around their own personal growth/ego.

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked her first book a little better but this was still fun. It might be entirely that I just still don't like hearing about the pandemic and not really ready for it's humor yet. Either way, I enjoyed hearing from Phoebe again. I bought a signed copy of the book but ended up getting the audiobook from the library since it's really just a better listen with her narrating I would like to tell her though that most people who won't bother with the outside clothes things are probably pet owners lol. No use changing my T-shirt when my gross dog just jumps on the bed. So we'll just be double gross over here :)

[Mallory Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phoebe’s sense of humor is quirky and specific, which I love. My favorite essays were the one about travel (Black Girl, Will Travel) and the one about self-care (Self-Care Is Not a Candle and Therapy Is Not a Notebook: How We Are Doing the Most and the Absolute Least at the Same Damn Time). 2 seemingly basic topics that she brought depth and a fresh perspective to.

[Clara · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book was moving in teaching me very personal experiences of POC - things i never thought of, like their hair, dating, covid etc. and phoebe is so very funny

the content was great but i feel like i should have listened to this as an audio book or sumn! the essays can be a little bit repetitive and quite long - which is definitely just personal preference.

ik some people hated the hashtags, emojis and abbreviations but i found the funny asssssss

[Connie Darlene Dunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading some of the comments, I decided to begin offering my thoughts on Phoebe Robinson, as I have listened to several of her books. Not that this should need to be uttered, but as an African American woman, I see that our story is yet to be completed, or told, to the world. And I get that there is an audience willing to listen. Whether or not that audience can fully receive the message, is yet to be seen.

I know that I relate to Phoebe in the sense that she has thoughts and ideas that she wants to say however they come out, whether it's "proper english" or "appropriate" to a specified audience. And that should be the way it is for everyone. No one comedienne or essayist is everyone's cup of tea. I mean, Rachel Hollis isn't a comic at all and less nitpicky commentary has been written about her 200 page "I'm so great, do this like me and you'll be a bestseller too" essays. She is still on the best seller list, so there's that.

Meanwhile, Phoebe speaks real time on real issues that have affected her life. And of course she will bring up uncomfortable topics! It's her arena, meant for her to sound off! This is what I pick up her books for: to get another Black woman's perspective. Period.

I also got a candid honesty from her anecdotes. Love them or hate them, they were a snapshot of how she was feeling at the time of writing the book. That may be singlehandedly one of the best reasons to begin the book writing journey. I applaud her for her tenacity and her fight to publish, as it was a definite struggle. I would recommend giving this book a chance and then listening to "Everything's Trash, But it's okay" or "You can't touch my hair." With reading at least one more of her books, more context can be applied to her story and the reason she brings her style the way she does.

When I first began reading "Everything's Trash," I titled her the Black Erma Bombeck. All jokes aside, she's really just being Phoebe, and being yourself is an attractive trait.

[Jquick99 · Rating 1 out of 5]

“Black female authors don’t sell…readers aren’t interested in funny stories from black women”

This older, Anglo woman wants to listen (audiobooks) to comedy from a writer of any race. What I don’t want? To be constantly preached to.

The author, even with too much slang/cutting off the last syllable of many words, is entertaining, when she’s NOT preaching and/or talking All Things Race. That said, I did a lot of skipping to the next chapter. Then, DNF.

Didn’t know who the author was when I got the book. Still don’t, except she refers to herself as a comedian (sp?). Got the book because of the title…becuz I immediately change out of my outside clothes, the moment I get home.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Please Don't Sit on My Bed is like visiting with an old friend, catching up on what she experienced during quarantine; learning from her experience as a Black woman in America, running an empire and dating a Brit; and celebrating all of her hard work and amazing accomplishments - a new production company AND imprint! Amazing! She addresses important topics, while always making you laugh, as a good friend should. Her abrevs (abbreviations) and footnotes are a bonus. Looking forward to all she does next!

[Emma Zucati · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were parts I loved and laughed out loud at, but every essay felt a couple pages too long.

[Annie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Please Don’t Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes has its good moments—especially when Robinson dives into women’s rights, white saviorism, and learning to love someone who unexpectedly comes into extreme proximity with you, a la COVID. She’s even eerily prophetic in her critiques (this was released 2021) of the fake corporate DEI efforts and the commercialization of self-care that are very much topics of discussion in 2025.

However, the book gets lost in its own humor. I never really liked the criticism Millennials get for our habits or interests, but listening/reading this book, I saw where some of the criticism of constant pop culture references might stem from. Seriously, the amount of jokes is EXCESSIVE, not particularly funny, and the tangents really disrupt the flow, often for pages at a time, making it feel more suited to a podcast than the page. Pair that to the audiobook’s over-narration, and it all creates a feeling of witnessing an over-performed stand-up routine that leaves you feeling like maybe you're the asshole because you just. never. laughed.

Overall, there are moments when Robinson is passionate and focused, which is soooo compelling—but unfortunately, it's more rare than not, and without the benefit of a very strong edit, I was left feeling like I just missed out on something really enjoyable.

[Amy Alessandri · Rating 5 out of 5]

A laugh-out-loud and honest collection of essays with all of the pop culture references and sarcastic relatability. A reminder of the ridiculous path society is still traveling on and why you should never sit on the bed in your outside clothes. I said to myself out loud at least 15x, “We’d totally be friends! Why can’t we be friends?!”

[Tara Cignarella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please, Don’t Sit On My Bed In Your Outside Clothes by Phoebe Robinson
Writing: A-
Stories: B+
Best Aspect: One of the better short story collections I have read, very down to earth and truthful.
Worst Aspect: Long for a bunch of short stories.
Recommend: Yes.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh I love Phoebe Robinson and this is my fav so far of her books. She makes me laugh out loud, nod in agreement and make me feel understood/normal - in particular in the essays on living with her man during quarantine and choosing to be child free. Love, love, love.

[Larissa Goalder]

dnf at 40%. the intro was hilarious but the rest of the essays were lacking imo. my libby loan expired so im just returning it and probably won’t pick back up. parts were a little cringy and very millennial online humor which isn��t for me.

[Tamyka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just like her other books, funny and entertaining essays that share her own life experiences; decent memoir and if you liked the other books you will enjoy this one but if you are hoping for something different or more evolved, this isn't it as beside the timeline with her boyfriend and the professional advancements she has made, there is no real way to necessary tell time differences as books could be in any order

[Rae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every white person should read this book. Pay special attention to the section: “We Don’t Need Another White Savior.” I actually hybrid read and listened to this book and the audio book is hysterical. It’s facts, though. You’ll learn a lot about black people, white people, women and Americans in general. Period.