The Year I Stopped Trying

by Katie Heaney

Booksmart meets The Perks of Being a Wallflower in this novel of overachieving, existential crises, growing up, and coming out, from the author of Girl Crushed and Never Have I Ever .

Mary is having an existential crisis. She's a good student, she never gets in trouble, and she is searching for the meaning of life. She always thought she'd find it in a perfect score on the SATs. But by junior year, Mary isn't so sure anymore.

The first time, it's an accident. She forgets to do a history assignment. She even crosses "history essay" off in her pristine planner. And Nothing happens. She doesn't burst into flames, the world doesn't end, the teacher doesn't even pull her aside after class.

So she asks Why am I trying so hard? What if I stop?

With her signature wit and heaps of dark humor, Katie Heaney delivers a stunning YA novel the sprints full-force into the big questions our teen years beg--and adeptly unravels their web.

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Fiction, Contemporary, Mental Health, Queer, Coming Of Age

256 pages, Library Binding

First published November 16, 2021

About the author

Katie Heaney is the author of Public Relations, Dear Emma, and Never Have I Ever, as well as the forthcoming memoir Would You Rather? (Penguin Random House, February 2018). Her writing has also appeared in New York magazine online, Cosmopolitan, The Atlantic, Racked, and The Hairpin, among other places. She lives in Brooklyn.

Reviews

[Althea · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, I initially requested to be a part of the blog tour for this book because of how much the synopsis resonated with me – growing up the oldest sibling (and oldest grandchild) I had so much responsibility and pressure put on my academically and I was constantly pushing myself to be the best at everything – even when it wasn’t healthy for me – and so many times I thought about what it would be like to just stop, to just give up on it all one day, but I never did. And so, connecting with the main character in this way, I knew I had to read it, but I wasn’t ready for just how good this book was on so many levels!

First and foremost, this book definitely reads on the younger end of the YA scale, but as a 23-year-old reader, this didn’t phase me in the slightest because I was just having so much fun reading it – like, literally, I audibly laughed on the train while reading it! But aside from Katie Heaney’s hilarious prose, I was just so overjoyed to see how much was tackled in here that would make this book so unbelievably valuable to teen readers, especially those questioning their sexuality. Not only was the term ‘lesbian’ used so proudly throughout the book, but masturbation was also discussed in a very positive light, and I think it’s so important for young sapphics to see that their sexuality and desire is not something to be ashamed of. There was also a huge focus on compulsory heterosexuality, particularly through a lesbian lens, and it was done in such an excellent way in that young lesbians could see themselves on page and realise that their feelings are normal, while also looking at the concept more broadly in a way that’s easy for younger teens to understand while not being patronising in the slightest. Phew, that was a long sentence! But it’s true – I was so pleasantly surprised by this and it made me both sad that I didn’t have these kind of books while growing up as a wee closeted lesbian, but also so thrilled that young sapphics get to read books like this at important times in their lives now!

I know I mentioned it briefly at the start, that I saw myself in the main character even before picking up the book, but after diving into it I saw myself in ways I wasn’t expecting – like the pit of dread in your stomach when reading Yelp reviews of your work and the anxiety that won’t leave you for months, the wanting to feel that first love feeling in the movies but it never really happening and you’re not sure why, and the wanting to say yes to a boy who likes you because you like him too but only as a friend but you can’t figure out why you’re so terrified to say yes. Just so much about this book felt like looking in a mirror and as terrifying as that was at times, I also loved it!

There are also such wonderful character relationships throughout this book, including between the main character and her brother, the main character and her oldest best friend, and the main character and her co-workers, to name a few. During coming out scenes you can’t help but feel some sort of fear for the main character, but the instant kindness and empathy that she received was so refreshing and necessary in a book like this!

Though at times I wasn’t convinced by the main ‘giving up’ plotline, and I wish that the ending was a wee bit longer to get some more closure, I did overall really enjoy my time reading this book and I can’t wait to read more by Katie Heaney in the future!

Thanks to TBR and Beyond Tours, Random House Children's, and Netgalley for an eARC in return for an honest review!

Want more sapphic books? You can find me here: Book Blog | Twitter | Instagram

[Larry H · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

The Year I Stopped Trying was a sweet, thought-provoking, and engaging story of a young woman at odds with her life.

Mary has always done what she’s supposed to. She gets good grades, does extra credit, turns in assignments on time, and participates in class. She wouldn’t even know what else to do—she just does what’s expected.

One day amidst all of the multiple competing priorities of her life she discovers she didn’t complete a homework assignment. What is she going to do? But when she doesn’t turn in the assignment, nothing happens. The teacher doesn’t even notice!

Emboldened by this discovery, she starts testing the boundaries of her life. If she doesn’t feel like doing something, she just doesn’t. She even starts to do the opposite of what’s expected, and in the course of upending her life a bit, she grows to understand some things about herself she never had acknowledged before.

I really enjoyed this book. Growing up, I wish I had had the courage to do what I wanted rather than what was expected of me.

Thanks to Storygram Tours, Knopf, and Underlined for inviting me on the tour and sending me a complimentary advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review!

See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.

Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED IT AND WANT EVERYONE I KNOW TO READ IT because i projected SO HARD into this protag's brain.

reading this felt like katie heaney stomped her way into my brain and unraveled all my thoughts like a spool of thread and wove them into something hilarious, profound, and oddly reassuring. because being known is comforting, even if it is through the form of possibly unhealthily projecting yourself into a fictional YA novel.

also the love interest is asian and has a mullet. which will seem completely unrelated if you don't know me but i found this a hilarious coincidence.

painfully relatable. however i will not be ruining my GPA for the sake of self discovery. ill wait to have that crisis another day!

[✰ᴢᴏᴇ✰ (keefe’s version) · Rating 3 out of 5]

idk i just hated Mary but loved Mitch

[Brinley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this one! I'll admit to being terrified to pick it up, but not because I expected it to be bad. I knew I would find Mary relatable, and I was scared to discover just how much and how this would affect me. Thankfully, Mary's journey didn't ruin my motivation for schoolwork or throw me into an existential crisis like I expected.

My favorite thing about this was definitely that it confronted the "gifted" kid struggle. The ones who are always expected to excel, to go above and beyond. What happens when they stop though? Mary's thought processes and evolution was so relatable. She felt real, and I loved that.

I also really loved watching her develop her friendships. I could tell from the very beginning that Mitch and her weren't endgame, but I was super happy with how that all played out. They were such perfect friends, especially when Mary began reconnecting with Hanna.

Although this isn't a book I'll reread, I enjoyed how real it was!

Thanks to Netgalley for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review!

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

It all begins when sixteen-year-old academic overachiever Mary Davies forgets to do her math homework-- she expects a harsh punishment, but not even her teacher seems to notice this fatal error. This makes Mary begin to question: does all this work even matter? For the rest of the school year, she vows to herself to put in as little effort as possible in her studies to put this theory to the test.

The Year I Stopped Trying feels almost like a "classic" YA novel-- there's no unnecessary padding, and it's a quick and entertaining read narrated by an average, sardonic and flawed teenager-- and I mean this in the best way possible. In this regard I would call it timeless in terms of the typical adolescent experience. Mary is a smart and funny character trying to find her way through family expectations, the complicated hierarchy of friendships, and what really matters in the long term of her life. Stop trying to find an excuse not to read this book!

[Caitie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I realize this is a very unpopular opinion, but this book wasn’t good. I myself didn’t really care about the main character because she literally had no personality so I didn’t understand her actions of suddenly “not trying,” at school and in life. Everything was incredibly two dimensional, including the dialogue….it didn’t feel like a real high school student to me. And was it just me, or was the book formatted weird? And by this I mean page breaks all the time instead of normal paragraphs. Was this book supposed to be funny? The mental health representation was minimal and should’ve been fleshed put more, but alas this book was too short. Did I miss something? This just didn’t do anything for me.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so well-done that it gave me an existential crisis and I couldn’t finish it for like 6 months 🙃.

It’s funny and super engaging even though it’s very slice-of-life and character driven (how does she do it? Honestly, Heaney’s writing could make me read any book about *anything*). And it’s such a good exploration of overachievement, identity, friendship, and sibling relationships.

There’s a pinch of religious trauma for context, but it’s done with a light touch, so overall the vibe is just dry humor and a bit of sweetness. I love how there’s just enough of a romance to get you invested, but it’s mostly a coming-of-age & figuring-yourself-out character book. Also, I love that the main character has a crappy and absolutely not romanticized job. So refreshing to see in YA!

[Mary K · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story about Mary having an existential crisis and learning that she controls her own destiny/doesn’t need to hold infinite space for everyone and everything?? 4 stars because reading at a very apt time, more realistically 3.5 maybe

[LGBT Representation in Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trigger Warnings: Animal dissection, church camp, cursing, masturbation, underage drinking, mention of drugs, counseling, homophobia

Representation: Lesbian, Queer

The Year I Stopped Trying is a YA contemporary about high school junior, Mary. She has always been a good student, never gets in trouble, and is searching for the meaning of life. She always thought she'd find it in a perfect score on the SATs. But by junior year, Mary isn't so sure anymore. When Mary accidentally misses an assignment and the world doesn’t end, she starts to wonder why she even tries and what would happen if she didn’t.

What a funny book! I actually laughed out loud several times! I thought the author’s use of dry humor and sarcasm was excellent. The book is a quick, easy to read. I thought the ending was lacking though. I wish we could have seen further into Mary’s future, maybe even just an epilogue.

I loved Mary and found her to be incredibly relatable. I think most of us can look back at a time of questioning why we exist and what our place in the world is. Mary ponders these existential questions like many teens do. I think this makes her incredibly human and a very well written character. I’m also a huge fan of this author name dropping my favorite soccer players! (Go Kelley O’Hara!)

[Jay G · Rating 3 out of 5]

Want to see more bookish things from me? Check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfer...

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review*

16 year old Mary Davis has always strived to be the best academic student, pushing herself to the brink to achieve her goals. One day, she forgets to do her homework, and is expecting some form of punishment...but no one seems to notice. She begins to question why she tries so hard, and decides that for the rest of the school year, she's going to take time for herself.

This is a very quick read that covers a lot more topics than I originally thought it would. It discusses sexuality, self-discovery, friendships as well as mental health. I liked the exploration of these, but I was left wanting... more. I liked Mary's voice, and the dry humour and sarcasm she used to get through her days. I loved watching her friendships grow and develop as the story progressed. I think this will be a very relatable story for a lot of closeted teens, and for that I think it is a very important read.

[Danielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just felt like there wasn't much of a point to this book. The main character grew throughout the story, but not enough. I felt like her decision to date her female coworker at the end of the book didn't make sense. I saw it coming as soon as that character was introduced, but there should have been more moments between them where the main character questioned her feelings, etc. in order for her epiphany to feel more believable. It also felt like her decision to start trying again after winter break came out of nowhere. What was the point of tanking her GPA the entire first half of her junior year (the most important year!!!) if she was just going to get right back on the same path, but at a worse place that she started?

I really enjoyed the author's last book, but unfortunately this one didn't live up to my expecations. 2.5 stars rounded down to 2.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oof. Two duds in a row. That doesn't happen often, luckily.

This was a short and VERY quick read. I didn't find anything wrong with this book, except....nothing happens. Mary (who, honestly, is a bit of a Mary Sue) makes perfect grades, has perfect behavior, and participates in all of the perfect extracurriculars. One day, she forgets to do her AP homework, and she spirals from there. That's it. That's the book. She just.....doesn't do homework? And at some point, she wants to find a boyfriend, but then realizes she might not even like the guy she thought she liked. Oh, and she works at La Baguette, which is a very, very obvious fictionalized Panera.

Ok. You know the whole story now. You're welcome.

[Smitha Murthy · Rating 3 out of 5]

What can get me out of a reading slump? Turns out to be YA. A random pick and this sped by on a Sunday. I liked how Heaney explored all the teen angst and confusion and did this without making this a ‘romance’ novel.

I think I want to do that too. A year where I stop trying. I wonder how that would be? Where I would slack off work, never work out, be mean to everyone, never write a thing, don’t read anything, and just don’t care. I wonder. I wonder…

[✧ Olivia ✧ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could definitely relate to the feeling of having to be the best out of your siblings just because you’re the first born. The story of her high school years seemed cliché but it was a good quick read.

[Vanessa Gatsby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid reading. I really enjoyed the protagonist's personal growth as well as her dry humor.

[Ellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

so I think I’ve definitely read this before but somehow forgot to track it? anyway I reread about half of it on audio and it was really enjoyable. the narrator reminds me a lot of myself in early high school: anxious, overthinking, overachiever, and gay but confused. really sweet queer coming-of-age story :)

[Inês Dias]

Não me diz nada

[Crowinator · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating: 3.5 stars

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t read a lot of YA but I’d happily read more of this! Very charming once I was able to get into it.

[tatertotsworldwide · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven’t cried reading a book in probably a couple years but I did reading this one. To be clear, it is not a sad book, nor even particularly emotional. When I tried to explain to multiple people why they should read it and they asked what it was about, the answer is largely nothing. It really is just about the year she stopped trying. But the experiences and the pressure that Mary puts herself through as a high schooler resonated so deeply with me as a former high schooler with perfectionism and maybe/maybe not depression. There’s something about her total awareness of everything happening around her mixed with a dissociative teenage aloofness that does a fantastic job of capturing the feeling of burn out.

This is the first Katie Heaney book I’ve read, but I absolutely loved the deadpan, dry style Mary narrated with. It looks like there are mixed reviews and honestly, I get why it’s maybe not for everyone; it’s actually pretty similar to the way I talk and let me tell you it doesn’t go over well 100% in person either. However, I found it so relatable that part of me is convinced this book was written for me and me alone and I can only offer that if you don’t feel that way, maybe you weren’t the target audience, and that is totally okay.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is reminiscent of the YA I read when I was actually in the targeted audience - it felt like a book by Sarah Dessen, Meg Cabot, or Rachel Cohn. There were even a few parts when I felt confused when this book was set because it reminded me so much of the early 2000s but then scrolling a phone was mentioned and I remember it was more modern.

Anyway, this is a short book and worth reading. It resonated with me now as well as my teen self. I liked Mary’s arc but felt it was a little rushed towards the end.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I REALLY liked this, and it may be partly because it feels like entire passages could have been pulled from the journals and memories of my younger years, but regardless of that, this book is a total delight. Quick and fun and yet still really meaningful without being overly saccharine.

While I read Heaney's debut nonfiction Never Have I Ever a few years back (another book that felt like it could have been ripped from my own life), this is my first foray into her fiction. What Heaney really nails in this book are the twin demons of deep down knowing that a lot of the stuff you stress out about has no real bearing on reality, but truly, deeply caring about it regardless. Mary is fully aware that one homework assignment is not the difference between life and death, but that doesn't make her very real anxiety about it any less valid. Doing or not doing the homework is a choice, but the real journey is her learning that she has a choice in how SHE feels about it. Not the teachers, not her parents or any other outside force (who, let's face it, aren't that invested in it either). The story itself is fairly low stakes, but it never punishes Mary or any character for their investment in those stakes.

The voice in this novel is also great: it strikes the perfect balance between Mary's dry humor and her mental spirals she is prone to when faced with a new opportunity to stop trying. It really reminded me SO much of myself as a teen — obsessed with grades and being perfect, and hyper-aware of myself and those around me, but trying to appear cool and detached and like nothing got to me, and always wondering how I was coming across, whether the people I was friends with thought of me in the same way I thought of them, AND ON AND ON. This was especially evident in all of Mary's scenes at work at La Baguette. The teenage work ennui was incredibly on point. She really homed in on all the particular boredoms of working in food service, the shitty entitled customers, and the way that employees tend to glom onto one another just to get through the shift (and the next, and the next). I worked at a Tim Horton's myself for many years as a teenager and beyond, and I'm glad to know that all of those feelings seem to be pretty universal!

This book is perfect for the current or recovering overachiever in all of us — the one that is maybe looking for permission to give slightly less of a shit, just to see what happens. I know if I had read this book as a teenager, I very likely would have cut myself a lot more slack and taken the chance to take stock of the bigger picture. I may have been a bit less of a tight-ass and I may have allowed myself a bit more fun time into college and beyond.

I really hope that all the anxious basket cases out there (current and former) find this book and give it a shot. I know I will be recommending it far and wide!

[Stéphanie Louis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary is kind of an overachiever. She has good grades, never gets in trouble, always listens to her parents and looks for the meaning of life. Until she accidentally forgets to hand in homework. The worst of all is that she gets away without punishment, while any other student would have had to do some additional work. Then it hits her, why did she try so hard in the past? How about she just stops now? Because in the end, there are no consequences for bad behaviour? Or will there be some after a while?

I absolutely adored “The Year I Stopped Trying” and felt like some parts Mary had to endure were snippets of my life as a high school student. This is why I could totally relate with our main character, and it’s also one of the main reasons I loved this book so much.

The short chapters were amazing, and it made it so much easy for me to continue reading the book during my breaks at work, which was immensely helpful. This is my first book written by Heaney, and it will certainly not be my last, as I enjoyed her writing a lot.

I liked it how the author tackled the rebellion of our dear Mary and how she’s grown during the story.

This is a book I can recommend without any doubts! You will enjoy this one, and maybe you’ll also be able to identify yourself with Mary.

[Tess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wayyyy back in 2016 I read an ARC of Katie Heaney's YA novel DEAR EMMA and it totally got me on the YA train, so when I saw that she wrote another YA book, I was so excited to read it. THE YEAR I STOPPED TRYING is a simple, beautiful novel about a junior in high school trying to figure out her place in the world. What I loved about Heaney's DEAR EMMA (and what made me want to read more YA as a grown adult) was how beautiful her prose is, and how a YA story can so easily be translated to an adult audience.

Mary is a straight A student who never gets in trouble and seemingly does everything right. That is, until she forgets to do her history homework one day and... nothing bad happens. From there, she seems to have a bit of an existential crisis and we go with her on a journey of self-discovery and learning that she doesn't have to be perfect for the world to keep turning.

The book is also, somewhat slyly, about discovering one's sexuality and, in Mary's case, understanding what it means to have feelings for a girl. There is no big love story here, but instead walk with her during her journey of self-discovery and that is also just as satisfying. A great book for readers who want to give themselves a break like Mary, and especially for high schoolers to learn that it's ok to do things at your own pace and being true to yourself is the most important thing.

[Avi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into it expecting it to be fully relatable, and it was. Couldn't stop reading. I think I automatically like a book when there are parallels to my own life. Maybe that's selfish, shows a lack of empathy towards the million other character lives, who cares.

It features a tryhard protagonist who decides.. well, not to anymore. She called it a self-deterioration project. Focuses only on the academic part though, would've liked to see her neglect life as a whole(but then it'd be depressing and hopeless, like my life). The book was entertaining, but you could argue that there's nothing really going on in this story. No plot as such, just 2 months of Mary's life.

I always see books end too soon, a last good moment and t h e e n d. But this one had what felt like multiple epilogue chapters, gave a good conclusion to all the characters mentioned. Felt satisfying d(-_☆)

It had a happy ending, inspiring even. Bit unrealistic turn of events in such a short time, but it made me happy ok? →_→

Random note: Is it just me or does whenever a tall *cool* girl is introduced, they always end up being gay? With short hair too. Weird that it happened twice lol, I'll be keeping count

[Crystal Palmisano-Dillard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mary mistakenly skips one assignment and when nothing happens decides to stop trying so hard.

Before this decision she was a typical type a perfect student.

Now she’s choosing to do poorly and trying to figure out what really matters.

She stumbles upon what that is after reconnecting with an old friend and stumbling into realization about herself.

The story didn’t go where I thought it would, but I love the premise of actually focusing on how you feel about things to find your interest, drives and who you are.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!

[joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

literally an autobiography of my life last year. loved the writing style and i thought the characters all had pretty good depth. very in-touch too for a YA book, which is always a relief. def one of my new faves :)

[Amanda Baker · Rating 1 out of 5]

An uninteresting, poorly written book about a snobbish charater who thinks they know best for themselves.

I've read so many better books than this about similar topics. Don't waste your time. Just move on.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book had a slow bland plot and brief inappropriate sexual content/references.
By the end the main character realizes that she’s gay and she asks her coworker out on a date but it doesn’t really give any resolution.