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My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons
Rehtaeh Parsons was a gifted teenager with boundless curiosity and a love for family, science, and the natural world. But her life was derailed when she went to a friend’s house for a sleepover and the two of them dropped by at a neighbour’s house, where a group of boys were having a party.
The next day, one of the boys circulated a photo on social media: it showed Rehtaeh half naked, with a boy up against her. She had no recollection of what had happened. For 17 months, Rehtaeh was shamed from one school to the next. Bullied by her peers, she was scorned by their parents and her community. No charges were laid by the RCMP.
In comfortable, suburban Nova Scotia, Rehtaeh spiralled into depression. Failed by her school, the police, and the mental health system, Rehtaeh attempted suicide on April 4, 2013. She died three days later.
But her story didn’t die with her. Rehtaeh’s death shone a searing light on attitudes toward issues of consent and sexual assault. It also led to legislation on cyberbullying, a review of mental health services for teens, and an overhaul of how Canadian schools deal with cyber exploitation.
My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons offers an unsparing look at Rehtaeh’s story, the social forces that enable and perpetuate violence and misogyny among teenagers, and parental love in the midst of horrendous loss.
The next day, one of the boys circulated a photo on social media: it showed Rehtaeh half naked, with a boy up against her. She had no recollection of what had happened. For 17 months, Rehtaeh was shamed from one school to the next. Bullied by her peers, she was scorned by their parents and her community. No charges were laid by the RCMP.
In comfortable, suburban Nova Scotia, Rehtaeh spiralled into depression. Failed by her school, the police, and the mental health system, Rehtaeh attempted suicide on April 4, 2013. She died three days later.
But her story didn’t die with her. Rehtaeh’s death shone a searing light on attitudes toward issues of consent and sexual assault. It also led to legislation on cyberbullying, a review of mental health services for teens, and an overhaul of how Canadian schools deal with cyber exploitation.
My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons offers an unsparing look at Rehtaeh’s story, the social forces that enable and perpetuate violence and misogyny among teenagers, and parental love in the midst of horrendous loss.
204 pages, Paperback
First published May 18, 2021
4 people are currently reading
300 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
June 11, 2021
All I can say about this book is WOW! It is in part the story of Rehtaeh Parsons whom the world has come to know tragically from her death, and in part her father Glen Canning’s personal memoir of several significant events that shaped his life. Right off the bat I loved how raw and honest this book was. It’s a heartbreaking, but ultimately also empowering, story straight from a father’s heart.
I’m seven months younger than Rehtaeh so I remember this story very well from my teenage years, watching it unfold in the media, but seldom did I ever think about it through the lenses of anyone other than my teenage self. Now, not only looking back on this tragedy from an adult’s perspective, but also living it through a father’s eyes in this book, was a profound experience. In fact I read the book in a single sitting, I just couldn’t put it down.
This book is thought-provoking, timely and a deeply moving cautionary tale that forces the reader to re-examine themselves and the society they live in. I’m very grateful that Mr Canning wrote this book to educate, heal and as a tribute to his daughter because it is one that I’m not about to forget.
I’m seven months younger than Rehtaeh so I remember this story very well from my teenage years, watching it unfold in the media, but seldom did I ever think about it through the lenses of anyone other than my teenage self. Now, not only looking back on this tragedy from an adult’s perspective, but also living it through a father’s eyes in this book, was a profound experience. In fact I read the book in a single sitting, I just couldn’t put it down.
This book is thought-provoking, timely and a deeply moving cautionary tale that forces the reader to re-examine themselves and the society they live in. I’m very grateful that Mr Canning wrote this book to educate, heal and as a tribute to his daughter because it is one that I’m not about to forget.
November 19, 2021
My heart, everyone should read Rehtaeh Parsons story.
To Rehtaeh, I truly hope you have found peace.
Rehtaeh endured tragic events that should never happen to a human being. The hard fact is there are millions of people that have similar stories, and I feel for every single person that has lived or is currently living with pain from abuse, trauma, depression, bullying and cyber bullying.
For the people that are struggling alone in a dark place I hope you know that you are not alone.
To Rehtaeh, I truly hope you have found peace.
Rehtaeh endured tragic events that should never happen to a human being. The hard fact is there are millions of people that have similar stories, and I feel for every single person that has lived or is currently living with pain from abuse, trauma, depression, bullying and cyber bullying.
For the people that are struggling alone in a dark place I hope you know that you are not alone.
April 20, 2022
This heartbreaking story is a must read for every teen and adult. It is such a powerful story, with important messages on treating someone as you’d want to be treated.
This book gives us a reality check of our culture. A rape culture which creates the condition for sexual violence and of victim blaming and shaming. For us all to think about misogyny and issues surrounding rape, and the “boys will be boys” mentality. Also, that belief that some girls ask for it. How friends turn on friends. Boys boast about each other’s sexual conquests. Girls labelling other girls sluts.
Rehtaeh Parsons died by suicide on April 7, 2013.
Seventeen months earlier, at the age of 15, she and her friend attended a small party with four boys around their age.
A photo was taken that night of her half naked, hanging out a window with a half naked boy behind her, grinning at the camera with a thumbs up. After that photo was share on social media her life would never be the same.
The circulation of that image resulted in endless bullying and threats to her physical safety, particularly from other girls.
The cyberbullying that followed would ultimately contribute to the ending of her life.
This book is so insightful. Glen shares how he never understood his brother’s alcoholism. That it was a symptom of something terrible and unspoken.
He allows up to see up close the helplessness, guilt and shame that sexual assault survivors often feel. The difficulty becoming a survivor.
The difficulty in dealing with trauma and mental health issues.
So much of what he writes about, I understand: suicide is often an impulsive and desperate act of just wanting to escape your pain.
Inner pain is the focus of this book. The source of it. The repercussions of how we deal with it, or run from it.
Glen takes you on that journey through not only his daughter’s pain, but his own.
Through a father’s journey of dealing with the death of his child.
Best words of comfort people gave after the death of his daughter: no one told me everything would be alright, he said. I was glad for that, because nothing ever would be all right again.
On his blog after her death and again in his book he shares: my daughter wasn’t bullied to death, she was disappointed to death. Disappointed in people she thought she could trust, her school, and the police. She was my daughter, but she was your daughter too.
It is beyond comprehension that there were Facebook sites dedicated to shaming Rae in her death.
But here is the truth most do not or cannot accept: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
He learned to not cast judgment. To also see the bigger picture of how her perpetrators were also victims. He wanted to connect with the boys – not in life, of course, but emotionally and mentally.
He writes: I wanted to believe they were victims too, and I wanted to understand them. I saw their broken selves — not necessarily unlike me, hurt, trying to find their way in a culture that fosters one narrow path for boys.
He forgave them. And forgave himself for holding on so tightly to his hatred of them.
Glen takes you into his therapy and dealing with earlier trauma. To the source of his pain before his daughter’s death.
In the end, after Rehtaeh’s death charges were laid against one of the boys for production of child photography, and against another for distribution of that photography. One boy wrote an apology after his guilty plead and sentencing. The other boy offered no apology and instead claimed no responsibility for Rehtaeh’s death.
Rehtaeh’s case sparked a number of changes in how law enforcement, health-care providers, and schools deal with allegations of sexual assault and cyberbullying in Canada.
May we continually hold dear to our hearts and remember something I read in a Deepak Chopra book: what we choose today will ripple throughout thousand tomorrows.
This book gives us a reality check of our culture. A rape culture which creates the condition for sexual violence and of victim blaming and shaming. For us all to think about misogyny and issues surrounding rape, and the “boys will be boys” mentality. Also, that belief that some girls ask for it. How friends turn on friends. Boys boast about each other’s sexual conquests. Girls labelling other girls sluts.
Rehtaeh Parsons died by suicide on April 7, 2013.
Seventeen months earlier, at the age of 15, she and her friend attended a small party with four boys around their age.
A photo was taken that night of her half naked, hanging out a window with a half naked boy behind her, grinning at the camera with a thumbs up. After that photo was share on social media her life would never be the same.
The circulation of that image resulted in endless bullying and threats to her physical safety, particularly from other girls.
The cyberbullying that followed would ultimately contribute to the ending of her life.
This book is so insightful. Glen shares how he never understood his brother’s alcoholism. That it was a symptom of something terrible and unspoken.
He allows up to see up close the helplessness, guilt and shame that sexual assault survivors often feel. The difficulty becoming a survivor.
The difficulty in dealing with trauma and mental health issues.
So much of what he writes about, I understand: suicide is often an impulsive and desperate act of just wanting to escape your pain.
Inner pain is the focus of this book. The source of it. The repercussions of how we deal with it, or run from it.
Glen takes you on that journey through not only his daughter’s pain, but his own.
Through a father’s journey of dealing with the death of his child.
Best words of comfort people gave after the death of his daughter: no one told me everything would be alright, he said. I was glad for that, because nothing ever would be all right again.
On his blog after her death and again in his book he shares: my daughter wasn’t bullied to death, she was disappointed to death. Disappointed in people she thought she could trust, her school, and the police. She was my daughter, but she was your daughter too.
It is beyond comprehension that there were Facebook sites dedicated to shaming Rae in her death.
But here is the truth most do not or cannot accept: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
He learned to not cast judgment. To also see the bigger picture of how her perpetrators were also victims. He wanted to connect with the boys – not in life, of course, but emotionally and mentally.
He writes: I wanted to believe they were victims too, and I wanted to understand them. I saw their broken selves — not necessarily unlike me, hurt, trying to find their way in a culture that fosters one narrow path for boys.
He forgave them. And forgave himself for holding on so tightly to his hatred of them.
Glen takes you into his therapy and dealing with earlier trauma. To the source of his pain before his daughter’s death.
In the end, after Rehtaeh’s death charges were laid against one of the boys for production of child photography, and against another for distribution of that photography. One boy wrote an apology after his guilty plead and sentencing. The other boy offered no apology and instead claimed no responsibility for Rehtaeh’s death.
Rehtaeh’s case sparked a number of changes in how law enforcement, health-care providers, and schools deal with allegations of sexual assault and cyberbullying in Canada.
May we continually hold dear to our hearts and remember something I read in a Deepak Chopra book: what we choose today will ripple throughout thousand tomorrows.
January 27, 2022
I think this is such an important story to tell and for that alone I give it 5 stars. This is a father who has been to hell and back over the utterly tragic loss of his daughter. This story is devastating and turns my blood cold imagining how this could happen to a young, vulnerable teenage girl- and yes teenage girls for all their bravado are still children and are vulnerable. Vulnerable to peer pressure, poor decision-making, effects of alcohol, escalating situations, misogyny, immaturity, sexual objectification, online bullying and low self-esteem. They need to feel they can say no. They need to be educated about situations that are not okay. They need to not be shamed, the way boys aren’t shamed. And boys, seeing a girl inebriated and not in her full capacity, need to learn to take care of her instead of thinking it is okay to objectify, humiliate, and put her in degrading or harmful situations. At 15 years old, I don’t believe there is consent, plain and simple. These are conversations that need to be had with our daughters and sons. Look after each other. Be kind. Stop shaming girls.
One day, the kids involved in this will have their own children and only then will they feel the sheer weight of what transpired with this poor child and understand what part they played in it. I hope there is change that comes from this and that schools, police, parents, and lawmakers will step up and take a stand against online harassment and cyber bullying. School is meant to be a safe place but ultimately they failed her. The tragedy here is that if someone in a position of authority had of done something- taken some action- to nip this unbearable situation in the bud: zero tolerance at school, action against anyone sharing the photo, legal ramifications, suspensions, anti bullying awareness, counselling. Some serious and immediate consequences for all involved, perhaps it would not have ended this way. There is such a need for transparency, conversations, and education with these type of situations. It’s time. This story will stay with me for a long time and should be mandatory reading within schools.
One day, the kids involved in this will have their own children and only then will they feel the sheer weight of what transpired with this poor child and understand what part they played in it. I hope there is change that comes from this and that schools, police, parents, and lawmakers will step up and take a stand against online harassment and cyber bullying. School is meant to be a safe place but ultimately they failed her. The tragedy here is that if someone in a position of authority had of done something- taken some action- to nip this unbearable situation in the bud: zero tolerance at school, action against anyone sharing the photo, legal ramifications, suspensions, anti bullying awareness, counselling. Some serious and immediate consequences for all involved, perhaps it would not have ended this way. There is such a need for transparency, conversations, and education with these type of situations. It’s time. This story will stay with me for a long time and should be mandatory reading within schools.
August 14, 2021
Published on buildingyourbookshelf.wordpress.com
My heart is absolutely aching for this family.
(TW – suicide, bullying, alcohol) I picked this book up since it is the Indigo Staff Pick for the month of August. It is a short read, and I figured I could go home and read it in one sitting after my shift (which I proceeded to do). Being only 13 when Rehtaeh passed, I knew briefly of her story from anti-bullying campaigns from school. I was not prepared to be angry, hurt, and completely disturbed after hearing how mistreated Rehtaeh was by her school, community, local police, and over social media. There was nothing that could have prepared me for hearing her story from her father’s perspective, after losing his daughter and feeling like he failed her. The pain that he feels can only be matched by parents’ in similar situations. My heart goes out to every one of them.
Glen Canning tells the story of his daughter, Rehtaeh (Rae) Parsons, who attempted to commit suicide in April of 2013. She later passed away on April 7th, 2013 after being considered brain dead as a result of her suicide attempt. She loved her family, science, animals, and had a curiosity for life. Rehtaeh suffered from depression and trauma after a picture was passed around her community of her half naked, with a boy (half naked as well) pressed against her, as she throws up out the window of a house. This picture was taken at a party Rehtaeh attended in 2011 with a new friend of hers from high school. Since it was one of her first times drinking, she did not have a recollection of the night, with no memories until walking up the next morning. For the next year and a half, she was unrelentingly bullied by old friends, classmates, and community members, both in person and online. The picture was spread around as she changed schools, following her wherever she went for a fresh start. Rehtaeh was failed by her school, who refused to do anything about the cyberbullying, saying it was outside of school and therefore, not their problem. She was failed by the police, who made numerous mistakes and neglected the situation until it was too late. She was failed by the mental health system, who only made things worse for her deteriorating mental health. She was failed by her community, who proved that there is a huge problem in our society when it comes to supporting women who have been assaulted.
As I said at the beginning, my heart breaks for this family, and for Rehtaeh, who suffered too much for someone 17 years old. My heart goes out to all families who have suffered a loss like this, trauma survivors, and those who are too afraid to come forward because of the repercussions they should not have to face. I am glad that Glen was strong enough to tell his daughter’s story, and hopefully, allow himself and his family to heal as much as possible. This story was heavy, and although I read it in one sitting, I had to take breaks to digest and recoup to continue. I really liked learning that Canning is an activist for sexual assault victims and can use his daughter’s story to help others. For him to touch on his own trauma was strong and speaking on his internalized misogyny pulled the book in a direction of hope that things can change in our society. This book is important for parents, teachers, and teens to read, so everyone can learn on how to stop this situation from happening again. It is hard to express enjoying a book when the topic is so upsetting, but it also hard to dislike a book for the same reason. I have no option but to give this book 5 stars, but it definitely deserves it. As the Indigo Staff Pick for August, I hope it helps get this book in the hands of as many people as possible.
My heart is absolutely aching for this family.
(TW – suicide, bullying, alcohol) I picked this book up since it is the Indigo Staff Pick for the month of August. It is a short read, and I figured I could go home and read it in one sitting after my shift (which I proceeded to do). Being only 13 when Rehtaeh passed, I knew briefly of her story from anti-bullying campaigns from school. I was not prepared to be angry, hurt, and completely disturbed after hearing how mistreated Rehtaeh was by her school, community, local police, and over social media. There was nothing that could have prepared me for hearing her story from her father’s perspective, after losing his daughter and feeling like he failed her. The pain that he feels can only be matched by parents’ in similar situations. My heart goes out to every one of them.
Glen Canning tells the story of his daughter, Rehtaeh (Rae) Parsons, who attempted to commit suicide in April of 2013. She later passed away on April 7th, 2013 after being considered brain dead as a result of her suicide attempt. She loved her family, science, animals, and had a curiosity for life. Rehtaeh suffered from depression and trauma after a picture was passed around her community of her half naked, with a boy (half naked as well) pressed against her, as she throws up out the window of a house. This picture was taken at a party Rehtaeh attended in 2011 with a new friend of hers from high school. Since it was one of her first times drinking, she did not have a recollection of the night, with no memories until walking up the next morning. For the next year and a half, she was unrelentingly bullied by old friends, classmates, and community members, both in person and online. The picture was spread around as she changed schools, following her wherever she went for a fresh start. Rehtaeh was failed by her school, who refused to do anything about the cyberbullying, saying it was outside of school and therefore, not their problem. She was failed by the police, who made numerous mistakes and neglected the situation until it was too late. She was failed by the mental health system, who only made things worse for her deteriorating mental health. She was failed by her community, who proved that there is a huge problem in our society when it comes to supporting women who have been assaulted.
As I said at the beginning, my heart breaks for this family, and for Rehtaeh, who suffered too much for someone 17 years old. My heart goes out to all families who have suffered a loss like this, trauma survivors, and those who are too afraid to come forward because of the repercussions they should not have to face. I am glad that Glen was strong enough to tell his daughter’s story, and hopefully, allow himself and his family to heal as much as possible. This story was heavy, and although I read it in one sitting, I had to take breaks to digest and recoup to continue. I really liked learning that Canning is an activist for sexual assault victims and can use his daughter’s story to help others. For him to touch on his own trauma was strong and speaking on his internalized misogyny pulled the book in a direction of hope that things can change in our society. This book is important for parents, teachers, and teens to read, so everyone can learn on how to stop this situation from happening again. It is hard to express enjoying a book when the topic is so upsetting, but it also hard to dislike a book for the same reason. I have no option but to give this book 5 stars, but it definitely deserves it. As the Indigo Staff Pick for August, I hope it helps get this book in the hands of as many people as possible.
May 31, 2021
Every educator should read this.
August 11, 2021
This was an emotionally challenging book to read – as a woman and as a parent. Glenn Canning has lived every parent’s worst nightmare and has bravely written about it as a beautiful tribute to his daughter and as wake up call to society.
If you live in Canada, you are probably familiar with what happened to Rehtaeh Parsons. Canning painstakingly walks the reader through the events leading up to his daughter tragically dying by suicide while also painting a picture of the beautiful soul that she was – a lover of animals, nature, science, art and her family and a person who had so much to contribute to the world.
Canning contextualizes s his daughter’s story with reflections on how society normalizes toxic masculinity and fails to protect victims of sexual violence, cyber bullying and exploitation So many of our institutions failed Rehtaeh, including police, schools, mental health services.
When people wonder why victims of sexual assault don’t report the crimes perpetrated against them, this book could be exhibit A. Just like Chanel Cleeton’s powerful must-read memoir, Know My Name, this book shows how societal and legal understanding of consent is woefully inadequate and must change.
My heart goes out to Rehtaeh’s parents, victims of sexual assault and families who have lost loved ones to suicide. No one should have to survive any of these things.
TW/CW: sexual assault, depression, suicide, alcohol abuse
If you live in Canada, you are probably familiar with what happened to Rehtaeh Parsons. Canning painstakingly walks the reader through the events leading up to his daughter tragically dying by suicide while also painting a picture of the beautiful soul that she was – a lover of animals, nature, science, art and her family and a person who had so much to contribute to the world.
Canning contextualizes s his daughter’s story with reflections on how society normalizes toxic masculinity and fails to protect victims of sexual violence, cyber bullying and exploitation So many of our institutions failed Rehtaeh, including police, schools, mental health services.
When people wonder why victims of sexual assault don’t report the crimes perpetrated against them, this book could be exhibit A. Just like Chanel Cleeton’s powerful must-read memoir, Know My Name, this book shows how societal and legal understanding of consent is woefully inadequate and must change.
My heart goes out to Rehtaeh’s parents, victims of sexual assault and families who have lost loved ones to suicide. No one should have to survive any of these things.
TW/CW: sexual assault, depression, suicide, alcohol abuse
March 4, 2022
Every modern Canadian has heard at least bits and pieces of Rehtaeh Parson's tragic death, but I doubt very many people have heard the full story.
I thought I knew most, if not all, of the pertinent facts about this story ... Wow, was I wrong!!!
Rehtaeh was an ordinary teenage girl who did absolutely nothing wrong. Her death was 100% avoidable and her family was put through the wringer for the next few years.
Every parent, every teenager, and every Canadian NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK.
I highly, highly recommend this true memoir written by Rehtaeh's father.
5 out of 5 Stars
I thought I knew most, if not all, of the pertinent facts about this story ... Wow, was I wrong!!!
Rehtaeh was an ordinary teenage girl who did absolutely nothing wrong. Her death was 100% avoidable and her family was put through the wringer for the next few years.
Every parent, every teenager, and every Canadian NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK.
I highly, highly recommend this true memoir written by Rehtaeh's father.
5 out of 5 Stars
August 27, 2023
Heavy read but definitely worth it.
Read
July 31, 2021There are some books that are more difficult to write a review on than others. This is one of them. That is not because of the quality of the book, rather the anger that one feels about what happened between the pages of the book. There is the compulsion to say some wild expletives against some of the people mentioned in the book. Things like this should not happen in a just world, but who says a just world ever existed?
Rehtaeh (Rae) Parsons was a typical teenager. She loved her family, life, school, and the world in general. But as we find the fragility of life can be transformed in a heartbeat into something that resembles a living hell. It all began when Rae went to a sleepover with another girl. They stopped by a boy’s house where a party was happening. It was at that house that life changed as she was sexually assaulted and photos were taken that were circulated among classmates and the Internet. It started the ascent into Rae’s nightmare.
She had no recollection of that night, but it caused a spiral that turned life upside down. She was called names and shamed online and in school. Her father Glenn tried to reassure her this was not her fault, and that the boys would be brought up on charges. The boys continued to brag about their conquests while Rae's mental health was in question, depressed and afraid of the world around her. Books like this tear at your heartstrings, reading about a girl who was not at fault, yet victimized time and time again, even when police said they would help, they failed her as well in the long run. Going to another school did not help as soon photos and the horror of that night were revisited upon her by others. The thought of people doing this to another human being is unfathomable, but it happens constantly with cyber-bullying thanks to social media. Rae who began cutting herself and having constant thoughts of self-destruction and death, finally did hang herself, but did not die that night. She died three years later, brain dead, her sad life extinguished. Glenn Canning has eloquently and with heart and soul told the story of a brave young lady who deserved so much more. Teens need to read this book and understand their actions have consequences, sometimes fatal ones. It is so shocking that police failed her, the mental health system, and those she considered friends, failed her.
Keep a tissue box handy. You will need it.
February 6, 2022
Absolutely heartbreaking. A very difficult, but necessary, read. Everyone should read Rehtaeh’s story. As someone who already has little faith in the justice systems and government as a whole, Rehtaeh’s story deepened that lack of faith for me. I truly hope that over time, the systems meant to protect us actually do as intended, and that our society moves away from such harmful, misogynistic beliefs.
Aside from the content, the book was extremely well written. That said, I wish it never had to be written in the first place.
Thank you, Glen, for sharing Rehtaeh’s story with us.
Aside from the content, the book was extremely well written. That said, I wish it never had to be written in the first place.
Thank you, Glen, for sharing Rehtaeh’s story with us.
June 21, 2021
This book is … heartbreaking, devastating and insightful. Growing up in Nova Scotia and just a few years younger than Rehtaeh, her story left lasting impacts on me and those closest to me.
Reading this book as an adult and mother to a daughter, I see her story through a new lens. Glens reflection and insightful commentary add an additional layer that uncovers and brings attention to societal issues.
Reading this book as an adult and mother to a daughter, I see her story through a new lens. Glens reflection and insightful commentary add an additional layer that uncovers and brings attention to societal issues.
July 10, 2022
Glen had a tremendous amount of courage writing this book. Not only did he lose his daughter, but he had to face his past. For anyone in Canada who remembers this headline story, read Glen's book and get the TRUE story.
July 3, 2021
Wow. Heartbreaking read but so important. Everyone should read this book for awareness. Thank you for sharing, Glen.
May 11, 2025
This was very raw and honest and I appreciate the strength of Glen to share his story. This is as much a story of Rae as is it a story of personal reflection of Glen’s upbringing and the role of toxic masculinity in our culture of rape, sexual violence, and gender based violence. I appreciate that Glen told his story and I hope that people read and understand the impact and harm of cyber harassment and victim blaming.
March 19, 2022
Heart wrenching
This book reinforces my resolve to talk to my sons about their behaviour towards women as they grown up. We all should talk to our children about toxic masculinity and how to leave situations that feel unsafe, or how to help others get out of unsafe situations.
This book reinforces my resolve to talk to my sons about their behaviour towards women as they grown up. We all should talk to our children about toxic masculinity and how to leave situations that feel unsafe, or how to help others get out of unsafe situations.
July 25, 2021
My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons is a most difficult but important read.
Thank you to ZGstories for my gifted copy for review.
Father and author Glen Canning opens his story to readers that made headlines in 2013 for her tragic death by suicide.
Rehtaeh, whom he called Rae, was the victim of sexual assault two years prior in Nova Scotia. The event was made public with graphic photos circulated on social media and unrelenting bullying, threats and shaming by the teen's peers.
The book takes us beyond the headlines, through Rae's painful reaction to the trauma, her descent into depression, into the mental health system that was unable to meet her needs, the justice and education systems that could not put an end to the online and in-person torture, and the eventual end of her life.
It's a series of events no one should have to experience, yet so much to be learned. This is a heartbreaking read, for adults and teens alike, and so courageous of a parent experiencing grief and loss to share. Recommended.
Released on May 18.
Thank you to ZGstories for my gifted copy for review.
Father and author Glen Canning opens his story to readers that made headlines in 2013 for her tragic death by suicide.
Rehtaeh, whom he called Rae, was the victim of sexual assault two years prior in Nova Scotia. The event was made public with graphic photos circulated on social media and unrelenting bullying, threats and shaming by the teen's peers.
The book takes us beyond the headlines, through Rae's painful reaction to the trauma, her descent into depression, into the mental health system that was unable to meet her needs, the justice and education systems that could not put an end to the online and in-person torture, and the eventual end of her life.
It's a series of events no one should have to experience, yet so much to be learned. This is a heartbreaking read, for adults and teens alike, and so courageous of a parent experiencing grief and loss to share. Recommended.
Released on May 18.
October 14, 2021
Even though this was a short story, it is still an imperative read.
The following is a true story regarding Rehtaeh Parson( Rae) who was sexually assaulted, publically humiliated, and bullied. Rae ultimately took her life.
The book is heavy, heartbreaking, powerful, and honestly, a parent's worst nightmare. We try to get insight into what happened, how the system failed. The father does an amazing job depicting his daughters' life. I firmly believe that this book should be required reading in middle school and even high school.
School is a lot different now regarding bullying. When I was a kid you could at least get away from it. Now you are being bullied 24/7 with social media, texts, etc. I think this book does shed light on a very difficult situation. That being said, more changes need to happen.
The following is a true story regarding Rehtaeh Parson( Rae) who was sexually assaulted, publically humiliated, and bullied. Rae ultimately took her life.
The book is heavy, heartbreaking, powerful, and honestly, a parent's worst nightmare. We try to get insight into what happened, how the system failed. The father does an amazing job depicting his daughters' life. I firmly believe that this book should be required reading in middle school and even high school.
School is a lot different now regarding bullying. When I was a kid you could at least get away from it. Now you are being bullied 24/7 with social media, texts, etc. I think this book does shed light on a very difficult situation. That being said, more changes need to happen.
May 25, 2021
This is an absolutely remarkable book. When I noticed this book under new releases online, I immediately recognized Rehtaeh’s name from the news when I was 16 or 17. The story is heart wrenching- trying to navigate the education system, wanting to feel safe and be able to learn, immense impacts of social media... On a large scale, I hope that we can all do better in terms of sexual assault survivor supports and mental health services in Nova Scotia, especially among youth.
July 16, 2021
Outstanding book told by her father. Very media driven case of girl from Nova Scotia who committed suicide after years of bullying. Now, the dad tells the real story. Heart breaking how many organizations failed this girl. The last part - how the father comes to grips with her death is very well written.
August 18, 2024
"It is, more than anything else, about a culture that has normalized and accepted gender violence; a culture in which even women and girls play a role in perpetuating and normalizing that violence."
"This book is partly about my awakening to understand how I too lived much of my life under the sway of a toxic, dysfunctional masculinity. It is about how men and women and boys and girls suffer due to it, and a patriarchal society that enables it."
"When Rae told me about her meeting with the counselor, she paraphrased Maya Angelou, in which the author had said there was no greater pain for a person than holding an untold story inside them. Rae told me Renee was helping her tell her story."
"I came to learn about the term toxic masculinity — aggression and bullying that have become normalized — and about how a default misogyny was embedded in institutions and social structures, unquestioned by men and women, boys and girls, who condemned victims instead."
"...audience members came to me afterwards, to express how brave they thought I was for speaking out — for trying to connect Rae’s story to the pervasiveness and history of misogyny and rape culture, which created both the conditions for sexual violence and the culture of victim blaming and shaming..."
I watched the documentary, "No place to Hide: The Rehtaeh Parsons Story" on Amazon Prime. I was so outraged and heartbroken over what had happened to Rehtaeh. I wanted to know more so I bought this book.
I expected to learn more about the story, which I did, but Glen also shares what he learned about the culture that led to Rehtaeh's assault, bullying and death. He also details his own journey into therapy initially, to cope with Rehtaeh's death. While in therapy, he learns how to deal with past abuse in his own life and how to grow and heal.
Glen's activism to help prevent more cases like Rehtaeh's and to get law enforcement to take sexual assault cases seriously is encouraging. I also found it therapeutic to read about Glen's own journey. I think Rehtaeh would be proud of the work her father has done.
"This book is partly about my awakening to understand how I too lived much of my life under the sway of a toxic, dysfunctional masculinity. It is about how men and women and boys and girls suffer due to it, and a patriarchal society that enables it."
"When Rae told me about her meeting with the counselor, she paraphrased Maya Angelou, in which the author had said there was no greater pain for a person than holding an untold story inside them. Rae told me Renee was helping her tell her story."
"I came to learn about the term toxic masculinity — aggression and bullying that have become normalized — and about how a default misogyny was embedded in institutions and social structures, unquestioned by men and women, boys and girls, who condemned victims instead."
"...audience members came to me afterwards, to express how brave they thought I was for speaking out — for trying to connect Rae’s story to the pervasiveness and history of misogyny and rape culture, which created both the conditions for sexual violence and the culture of victim blaming and shaming..."
I watched the documentary, "No place to Hide: The Rehtaeh Parsons Story" on Amazon Prime. I was so outraged and heartbroken over what had happened to Rehtaeh. I wanted to know more so I bought this book.
I expected to learn more about the story, which I did, but Glen also shares what he learned about the culture that led to Rehtaeh's assault, bullying and death. He also details his own journey into therapy initially, to cope with Rehtaeh's death. While in therapy, he learns how to deal with past abuse in his own life and how to grow and heal.
Glen's activism to help prevent more cases like Rehtaeh's and to get law enforcement to take sexual assault cases seriously is encouraging. I also found it therapeutic to read about Glen's own journey. I think Rehtaeh would be proud of the work her father has done.
February 9, 2023
This book took a while for a reason, it's a heavy, but important read. The author, Glen Canning is Rehteah Parson's father. This was a story that shook Canada - Rehteah was a teenager who was raped, had a photo of the incident shared everywhere, endured a slough of online bullying, struggled with mental health as a result and eventually committed suicide. I knew I was going to cry through this whole book and I sure did - her story is hard to read to know how people treated a teenage girl, but also just a failure of how her case was handled and how long it took to lay charges for distributing her photo. That all didn't happen until after her death. But part of this is seeing changes to online bullying, and personal growth in terms of looking at how society in general treats women. I think reading stories like these, while hard, are important. This is what teenagers have to deal with and we need to be aware. Got a little off topic sometimes, but worthy read.
August 24, 2022
Being from NS, and being alive as this story was unfolding, but not actually having been very informed, and only going by the news and gossip, this story was extremly moving. I didnt know any of the people living through this personally, but find myself thinking... could I have paid closer attention and somehow helped? Did anything I say or do inadvertently help or harm Rehtaeh?? I cried for this girl. What a sad story. I am so happy to hear of changes that were made around cyberbullying and child pornography laws. My daughter and step-son live in a safer Canada because of Rehtaeh. Your life was not in vain.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 11, 2021
I was just a kid when Rehtaeh passed away, but I remember my mom being very upset and worrying a lot about my teenage years. this story is tragic at every turn. i remember my school doing so many anti bullying meetings after her death, and it was as though there was a certain heaviness in my elementary school. i loved the mention of heidi stevenson at the end. she was an amazing role model and will also be forever missed. i hope heidi is up there with rehtaeh in heaven, making sure she’s happy and safe.
June 7, 2021
A devastating story. My heart hurts for this family and their loss. As someone who works with youth in a mental health capacity I read this words and listened. I could not put this down, the injustice was choking me. What a beautiful daughter, and a beautiful relationship you shared. Thank you for sharing her with us.
March 24, 2022
Liked the book/memoir, the raw truth. Writer (her father) certainly draws you in to try to understand. Rehtaeh seemed intelligent, mature and beyond her years. No one should have to experience this peer bullying and reputation bashing at a young age. Unbelievable. Did not enjoy ending chapter 22 regarding the alternative trauma therapy. Although glad Glen was able to come to peace with himself.
May 21, 2021
This book will break your heart
June 14, 2021
I finished this book in one sitting. I think every parent should read it with their teens.
June 23, 2021
Heartbreaking but important read
July 1, 2021
Maybe not the best writing, but he brought Rehtaeh back to life with this book.
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