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絶望に啼け #1
絶望に啼け 上
「お前を好きになるはずがない」
6年前、内海は裏切られ、赤嶺に路地裏で犯された。芽生えはじめていた恋心は憎しみに豹変。「心も身体も同じように蹂躙してやる」それだけが、内海を生かしていた。時は流れ、ふたりは再会をはたす。怒りを噛み殺しながら、内海は思わせぶりに近づき、好きだった男の身体を踏み荒らしてー…!?男の因縁と確執を描く、紫能了の怪作！
6年前、内海は裏切られ、赤嶺に路地裏で犯された。芽生えはじめていた恋心は憎しみに豹変。「心も身体も同じように蹂躙してやる」それだけが、内海を生かしていた。時は流れ、ふたりは再会をはたす。怒りを噛み殺しながら、内海は思わせぶりに近づき、好きだった男の身体を踏み荒らしてー…!?男の因縁と確執を描く、紫能了の怪作！
211 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 25, 2021
4 people are currently reading
63 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
February 1, 2022
★ One Star.
I truly walked into this one having no idea what I was getting into. It was like I ordered salmon and the waiter brought me a boar.
I truly walked into this one having no idea what I was getting into. It was like I ordered salmon and the waiter brought me a boar.
February 27, 2021
I'm not going to lie, I bought this manga because the censorship of dongs with vegetable emoji for Twitter on the part of the mangaka was a master stroke deserving of my money. In case you want to know just how you can get me to open my wallet.
THAT SAID. If you're here just for a good time, this is a much more dramatic story
than you might want. I'm not really one for Office Drama stories, so while this one is one of the more interesting ones I don't really see myself saying "wow I want to translate this!" as I do with manga I would rate higher.
The plot is more than just a basic office romance, though, with a major plot point between the two main characters being a sexual encounter they had six years prior after an office party (as a result, several if not all the sex scenes are dubcon at best, so be warned if that bothers you). Meanwhile, someone in the company has been selling secrets and it's the job of our intrepid pair to track him down--but there's a reason why he hasn't been found...
Where this book really shines, though, is the art. While it's not necessarily the style I prefer, it's drawn in a way that is very raw, emotional, and subtly but starkly intimate. If part of the reason you read BL is for facial expressions, for the attention paid to the male form and actions such as fingers indenting in flesh, eyelashes, and to be moved by the visual side of comics work? It's impressive. Impressive to the point that it kept me reading despite, as mentioned, the main non-romantic plot not really being my kind of thing.
Another for the collection of Books About Broken People With Issues, to be sure, but A+ for the realism that shines through in the characters' vulnerable moments-- who hasn't been sitting at their desk at work, staring at themselves and asking "when did I turn into such a boring person"? Usually, though, we don't have someone sitting next to us to hear that question, and that's where the fantasy lies, I suppose.
Also, if you like Really Angry Sex (like REALLY ANGRY) you'll love this for that alone.
THAT SAID. If you're here just for a good time, this is a much more dramatic story
than you might want. I'm not really one for Office Drama stories, so while this one is one of the more interesting ones I don't really see myself saying "wow I want to translate this!" as I do with manga I would rate higher.
The plot is more than just a basic office romance, though, with a major plot point between the two main characters being a sexual encounter they had six years prior after an office party (as a result, several if not all the sex scenes are dubcon at best, so be warned if that bothers you). Meanwhile, someone in the company has been selling secrets and it's the job of our intrepid pair to track him down--but there's a reason why he hasn't been found...
Where this book really shines, though, is the art. While it's not necessarily the style I prefer, it's drawn in a way that is very raw, emotional, and subtly but starkly intimate. If part of the reason you read BL is for facial expressions, for the attention paid to the male form and actions such as fingers indenting in flesh, eyelashes, and to be moved by the visual side of comics work? It's impressive. Impressive to the point that it kept me reading despite, as mentioned, the main non-romantic plot not really being my kind of thing.
Another for the collection of Books About Broken People With Issues, to be sure, but A+ for the realism that shines through in the characters' vulnerable moments-- who hasn't been sitting at their desk at work, staring at themselves and asking "when did I turn into such a boring person"? Usually, though, we don't have someone sitting next to us to hear that question, and that's where the fantasy lies, I suppose.
Also, if you like Really Angry Sex (like REALLY ANGRY) you'll love this for that alone.
July 19, 2022
Omfffggggg!!! Ok that first chapter had me like wth did I just start reading especially with how things mellow out to the point where I'm like doubting reality. I even went so far as to think it wasn't necessary AND THEN I SAW AND REALIZED. There is so much happening in this book and just this one volume, like, I feel like my brain has yet to get back from that explosion. Also, it's hot, the bods, the dicks, oh boy. I just wish it wasn't so emotionally draining so I could enjoy it lol. Idk who I should be feeling for at this point. I have high hopes for this, gimme the messy and HURT ME
August 11, 2024
Brutal. Me ha flipado. Ya no solo por los plot twist que hay, sino porque es una historia cruda que no blanquea la mierda de nadie, no se romantiza nada y los personajes son conscientes de sus errores y de todo lo malo que han hecho. Son tan humanos. También me gusta leer este tipo de historias donde no todo es purpurina, felicidad, todos son blancas palomas. Aquí hay mucha mierda y mucha gente basura y representada perfectamente. Este manga está destinado a ser otra mejor lectura del 2022.
Leer reseña completa sobre la serie (sin spoilers)
https://unabibliotecaentremundos.blog...
Leer reseña completa sobre la serie (sin spoilers)
https://unabibliotecaentremundos.blog...
August 15, 2022
Akamine and Utsumi both need some therapy💀 but younger Utsumi looked kinda cute ngl
September 2, 2022
“You’ll burn in hell... long before I do”
Ya quiero leer el segundo volumen 😱😱
Ya quiero leer el segundo volumen 😱😱
June 9, 2023
Where to Read: MangaPlanet
I am so confused... I kept reading hoping that something would click into place and explain everything, but that never happened. I just became more and more confused with the new information. Now I have to wait a month for futekiya to put up the sequel and hope that finally clears things up for me.
This story follows Utsumi and Akamine, who work for the same company. Utsumi seems to have a history with Akamine that Akamine doesn't remember. When they go out for Utsumi's welcome party Akamine gets really drunk and Utsumi takes him home. That's when Utsumi reveals that Akamine had assaulted him 6 years ago and Utsumi wants revenge. However after assaulting Akamine in the same way he did all those years ago, Utsumi still doesn't feel relieved. Their relationship becomes a toxic cycle of hatred, assault, and longing.
Okay this will be pretty spoiler-y because there's so much shit to unpack. I'm so confused by their relationship and their feelings for each other. I'm really put off by the fact that Akamine would assault someone?? I keep waiting for some sort of reveal that there was a misunderstanding because from everything that's shown of Akamine he really doesn't seem like the type? Even he's confused about it, but Utsumi liked Akamine before the assault so the fact that it happened shook him so why would he make it up?? And he didn't drink so it's not like he was so drunk he thought that some other guy who assaulted him was Akamine. I just need an explanation. A reveal that either it wasn't Akamine or a reveal that Akamine is actually a horrible person and the reader is being mislead. So far Akamine just seems a little insecure and a bit harsh on his subordinates, but nothing that would suggest he would be a rapist??? I also don't understand how they suddenly developed an amicable relationship after they both assaulted each other?? Like I can kind of see forgiving Utsumi's assault because he was hurt and was trying to get revenge and Akamine understands that. (NOT saying that's justified in any fucking way, but I could see how it could be excused). I can't see how Utsumi could forgive Akamine. Then there's this reveal at the end that maybe Utsumi didn't forgive Akamine and was just gaining his trust and getting more revenge on him? But there were so many situations where Utsumi seemed like he cared for Akamine and he felt hurt by Akamine's remaining feelings for his former boss. (I don't even want to get into the boss thing in this review. Just more chaos.)
The whole thing with the company adds to the confusion as well. The merger, the betrayals, Utsumi getting drugged and kidnapped while checking on something for the company. It all seems very intense for what it is. Idk maybe they're merging with the Yakuza or some shit. There's just so much going on and as it stands I don't really care for the relationship. They're both so shitty to each other and sure they got cute for a bit, but Utsumi ruined it at the end. Honestly idk how to feel. Not sure what to expect from the next volume, but I'm interested to find out how all of this will tie up. It's a jumbled mess, but it kept me reading lol.
I am so confused... I kept reading hoping that something would click into place and explain everything, but that never happened. I just became more and more confused with the new information. Now I have to wait a month for futekiya to put up the sequel and hope that finally clears things up for me.
This story follows Utsumi and Akamine, who work for the same company. Utsumi seems to have a history with Akamine that Akamine doesn't remember. When they go out for Utsumi's welcome party Akamine gets really drunk and Utsumi takes him home. That's when Utsumi reveals that Akamine had assaulted him 6 years ago and Utsumi wants revenge. However after assaulting Akamine in the same way he did all those years ago, Utsumi still doesn't feel relieved. Their relationship becomes a toxic cycle of hatred, assault, and longing.
Okay this will be pretty spoiler-y because there's so much shit to unpack. I'm so confused by their relationship and their feelings for each other. I'm really put off by the fact that Akamine would assault someone?? I keep waiting for some sort of reveal that there was a misunderstanding because from everything that's shown of Akamine he really doesn't seem like the type? Even he's confused about it, but Utsumi liked Akamine before the assault so the fact that it happened shook him so why would he make it up?? And he didn't drink so it's not like he was so drunk he thought that some other guy who assaulted him was Akamine. I just need an explanation. A reveal that either it wasn't Akamine or a reveal that Akamine is actually a horrible person and the reader is being mislead. So far Akamine just seems a little insecure and a bit harsh on his subordinates, but nothing that would suggest he would be a rapist??? I also don't understand how they suddenly developed an amicable relationship after they both assaulted each other?? Like I can kind of see forgiving Utsumi's assault because he was hurt and was trying to get revenge and Akamine understands that. (NOT saying that's justified in any fucking way, but I could see how it could be excused). I can't see how Utsumi could forgive Akamine. Then there's this reveal at the end that maybe Utsumi didn't forgive Akamine and was just gaining his trust and getting more revenge on him? But there were so many situations where Utsumi seemed like he cared for Akamine and he felt hurt by Akamine's remaining feelings for his former boss. (I don't even want to get into the boss thing in this review. Just more chaos.)
The whole thing with the company adds to the confusion as well. The merger, the betrayals, Utsumi getting drugged and kidnapped while checking on something for the company. It all seems very intense for what it is. Idk maybe they're merging with the Yakuza or some shit. There's just so much going on and as it stands I don't really care for the relationship. They're both so shitty to each other and sure they got cute for a bit, but Utsumi ruined it at the end. Honestly idk how to feel. Not sure what to expect from the next volume, but I'm interested to find out how all of this will tie up. It's a jumbled mess, but it kept me reading lol.
October 27, 2025
Este BL lo vi recomendado en Twitter y debo admitir que el dibujo de la mangaka y sus escenas de sexo son muy llamativas y no se anda con rodeos, sin embargo, soy consciente de que no es una historia para todos porque desde el primer capítulo ya hay un abuso que continúa perpetrándose hasta el final.
Los dos protas son asalariados que se conocen de hace años, aunque uno de ellos no lo recuerda como el otro quisiera. La víctima del abuso obviamente no lo olvidó y de hecho ha planeado todo para vengarse del otro ahora que tiene un puesto más alto.
La cosa es que quizá su relación con él sea mucho más complicada que solo regresarle el trauma. Por lo tanto, la historia se presta para poner en tela de juicio si vengarse del abusador vale la pena, si es que acaso lo quiere (¿será infatuación, codependencia?), si está buscando la manera de lastimarlo de la misma manera, o bien, si es que puede llegar a perdonarlo en algún punto.
Siendo honestos, creo que pudieron haber borrado el abuso y de todas maneras tendríamos un buen drama, pero bueno, me intriga saber cómo la mangaka va a manejarlo.
A este punto, claramente NO es un romance ni debería tomarse como tal.
Los dos protas son asalariados que se conocen de hace años, aunque uno de ellos no lo recuerda como el otro quisiera. La víctima del abuso obviamente no lo olvidó y de hecho ha planeado todo para vengarse del otro ahora que tiene un puesto más alto.
La cosa es que quizá su relación con él sea mucho más complicada que solo regresarle el trauma. Por lo tanto, la historia se presta para poner en tela de juicio si vengarse del abusador vale la pena, si es que acaso lo quiere (¿será infatuación, codependencia?), si está buscando la manera de lastimarlo de la misma manera, o bien, si es que puede llegar a perdonarlo en algún punto.
Siendo honestos, creo que pudieron haber borrado el abuso y de todas maneras tendríamos un buen drama, pero bueno, me intriga saber cómo la mangaka va a manejarlo.
A este punto, claramente NO es un romance ni debería tomarse como tal.
July 31, 2023
Wow, this is so fucked-up! I see you, Cry in Despair. I was actually having a cry like that at the end of the volume. I honestly had a hard time finishing this one up. It goes soft in the first few pages and I was actually so excited and fired up with wishes of great new day ahead (this is my 200th book to complete my '23 reading challenge. Not bad a choice for me) until I tear through that specific page that made every hopes I had crumble down.
This was frustrating and toxic and just straight-towards-the-trash dirty but hot—and you might occasionally hear yourself going "Aw, that's oddly cute." and proceeds to weep in despair at the end. This is sick, but I'm actually invested in this one! I don't know what I find enjoyable and redeeming here! Maybe the thought of a beautiful ending for a terribly ugly story.
This was frustrating and toxic and just straight-towards-the-trash dirty but hot—and you might occasionally hear yourself going "Aw, that's oddly cute." and proceeds to weep in despair at the end. This is sick, but I'm actually invested in this one! I don't know what I find enjoyable and redeeming here! Maybe the thought of a beautiful ending for a terribly ugly story.
July 30, 2025
This is a huge, tasteless mess though the art is absolutely gorgeous. I was initially excited to read it because the couple is switch. A goddamn switch in yaoi!!! It's as rare as Christopher Columbus accidentally discovering a new continent. But then, halfway through, the plot veered off-road and crashed into a chaotic landslide of sloppy twists. I know, I know. What should you expect from a yaoi manga? But this? This plot is so catastrophically bad it deserves academic study. One thing (sexual assault) spirals into revenge, betrayal, lies, drug tests, forged documents, unrequited love, and endless manipulation until I completely lost track of the characters’ motivations and how the fuck they end up together after all that sham. In the end, it all culminates in a finale straight out of a half-baked telenovela.
January 26, 2025
El dibujo es sencillamente una pasada, me ha gustado muchísimo, sin embargo la historia… Eso ya es otro cantar. Disfruto mucho de los romances tóxicos en el yaoi, pero no me parece que tenga ningún sentido el romance de estos dos. No hay por dónde cogerlo y la “explicación” tampoco es que me haya dicho nada, más bien ha añadido a que de por sí ya me parezca surrealista. Además todo el rollo de la compañía me ha aburrido bastante, la verdad.
February 9, 2025
Rapist x revenge rapist. And they end up pretty happy together. Honestly quite confused about this one. Not badly written, it's just the whole idea of them trying to build a life together after what they did to each other that's kinda upsetting, I guess.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 7, 2025
Es un historia que tiene un conflicto muy negativo y que dentro de la ficción lo van desarrollando y se van revelando más detalles y van dando más profundidad a los personajes y a la trama. Ha estado interesante y el dibujo es lo que mas me ha encantado!
February 3, 2022
Honestly I couldn’t like both main characters since they were both rapists…
January 28, 2024
Se sentía intensamente sospechosos todos los personajes y eso me gustó
March 25, 2024
Cw of SA
A very, very intense story about trauma and loving the person who hurt you. This is definitely is not a story for just anyone
A very, very intense story about trauma and loving the person who hurt you. This is definitely is not a story for just anyone
August 6, 2024
El dibujo, la expresiones, las escenas sexuales y demás (a pesar de la censura) es BRUTAL
La historia interesante y salvaje. Tengo ganas de leer el 2
La historia interesante y salvaje. Tengo ganas de leer el 2
October 6, 2024
Some parts are quite uninteresting and somehow illogical to me but it's also really interesting, and I really love hate fucking, so here I go.
March 26, 2025
If you love psychological drama with a twisted romance and toxic cycle of revenge, this is for you.
July 31, 2025
I'm not okay... these two are beyond messy.
September 17, 2025
It's not pleasant to read. It's dark and psychologically taxing but I think it's well done. Also the cliffhanger in this first volume is great.
Read
December 28, 2021Uncensored Graphic nice art + “seme turns uke”
2 vols 14 chapters (only 6 available)
2 vols 14 chapters (only 6 available)
September 15, 2024
Un d'aquells BL amb una trama enrevessada amb el món empresarial com a teló de fons i uns personatges complexos, turmentats per errors del passat, amors no correspostos, por de l'abandó i la soledat... Una d'aquelles històries en què les aparences enganyen, està farcit de girs inesperats i la traïció arriba d'on i quan menys t'ho esperes. A més, la psicologia dels protagonistes es plasma d'una manera magistral amb les il·lustracions, que són molt expressives i detallistes en els moments clau ♥ Recomanadíssim!!!
August 14, 2025
I really enjoyed this manga even with the twisted story it has. I am no stranger to intense/violent/somber/horrific BL storylines. I love when a mangaka or author can take characters who have done horrible things to each other and make them fall in love....like despite what they did, they still fall in love. I could eat it up every time. Both characters in this manga acknowledge the sexual assault they did to each other and are able to still fall in love..... gritty, intense yet strangely sweet.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 2, 2022
Très très belle histoire avec des dessins vraiment incroyable 🥰
June 25, 2024
3.5 round up since art is amazing
June 29, 2025
culpa mia por no leerme la parte de atras
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews