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The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory
The biscuit factory in Haddie's hometown is absolutely 100% NOT a Super-Secret Science Lab. Or a portal to another dimension. With orange fluffy monsters. OH NO. DEFINITELY NOT. Or ... is it? A laugh-out-loud biscuit-bonkers adventure for fans of My Brother is a Superhero and Kid Normal.
*Winner of the Northern Writers' "Children's Novel" Award*
I live near a biscuit factory. Sounds like a dream come true, right?
But it's not all fun and jammie dodgers. You see, the biscuit factory is really a Super-Secret Science Lab. Everyone pretends it makes biscuits. It just makes life easier.
Until today. Because the biscuit factory tore a hole through dimensions, and now HUGE ORANGE MONSTERS are climbing through.
Oh, and if we don't do something, the world is going to go KABLOOEY in the next thirty minutes. NOT ON MY WATCH. You coming?
'So funny you'll snort custard creams out of your nose!' Mr J Dodger
*Winner of the Northern Writers' "Children's Novel" Award*
I live near a biscuit factory. Sounds like a dream come true, right?
But it's not all fun and jammie dodgers. You see, the biscuit factory is really a Super-Secret Science Lab. Everyone pretends it makes biscuits. It just makes life easier.
Until today. Because the biscuit factory tore a hole through dimensions, and now HUGE ORANGE MONSTERS are climbing through.
Oh, and if we don't do something, the world is going to go KABLOOEY in the next thirty minutes. NOT ON MY WATCH. You coming?
'So funny you'll snort custard creams out of your nose!' Mr J Dodger
- GenresChildrens
256 pages, Paperback
Published April 1, 2021
2 people are currently reading
30 people want to read
About the author
James Harris
2 books12 followersJames Harris is a writer, filmmaker, performer, pole-vaulter, wizard and exaggerator based in Middlesbrough.
He won the New Writing North and Hachette Children's Novel Award for his first book The Biscuit Factory.
He's made short films, sketches and animations for the BBC and Channel 4, and he sometimes performs live comedy with his friends.
He is a mentor and workshop leader for Writers' Block North East, a Teesside creative writing and development service.
His super powers include time travel (forwards), making the most excellent mashed potato and inventing new words like an absolute blammerchampling.
He won the New Writing North and Hachette Children's Novel Award for his first book The Biscuit Factory.
He's made short films, sketches and animations for the BBC and Channel 4, and he sometimes performs live comedy with his friends.
He is a mentor and workshop leader for Writers' Block North East, a Teesside creative writing and development service.
His super powers include time travel (forwards), making the most excellent mashed potato and inventing new words like an absolute blammerchampling.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
May 2, 2021
Well I had to give it five stars, I know the author.
May 27, 2021
An amazingly fun story about monsters, dimensions, music, and maybe also biscuits~
A delightful and fun story about a girl living in Normalton where things aren’t so normal. There is a biscuit factory nearby and well the things that is coming out of that place ain’t biscuits. Oh no. More like dimensions being broken, doors that should have stayed close opened, and more. Daily craziness happens to the point that people just tend to ignore it or just shrug it off. I guess I would have done the same, though I think I still lean more towards our MC and that she is seeing it all! In this book things go terribly wrong (and not just Haddie’s music) when doors pop up all over town and dimensions may crash! I absolutely loved this bonkers story and I had tons of fun seeing Haddie find her guitar, dodge monsters, and oh yeah, try to save the world.
Our MC is a bit bossy at times, BUT it wasn’t too much. It didn’t even stand out too much until someone mentioned it, then I thought back and indeed I could see that she was bossy. For most though this girl is super. I mean, she is the the only one who can resist the whole Biscuit Factory and their whole you don’t see anything stuff. She is not impressed with buses with music and anime and sweets. She kicks some serious butt, is not afraid to go to heights to get what she wants, and she is willing to improve herself and say sorry when she finds out that she may have gone a tad too far at times.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about Man Man, he was just a tad too aggressive for me. But I did like that he was a rabbit and that there were apparently other rabbits (including one I had totally not expected to be a rabbit, but that was a great surprise).
The orange monsters were hilarious though! I mean, I had expected them to be a bit more dangerous, but all these monsters do is be fluffy, annoy people by sitting on them, dance, and make some random comments. This was much better! Much funnier!
I loved the biccypedia entries, though I did feel sad that at one point in the story they disappeared! I was looking forward to them each chapter and now they were gone for a while. I also loved the name tags and what they said. Not just the names of the person wearing it, but also their cookie expertise (well, given that the biscuit factory doesn’t make biscuits, can we really call it expertise? Haha). There are also notifications from Haddie and plenty more fourth wall breaking that I absolutely loved.
The ending was just the best! I really liked it, it fitted perfectly with the story and completed it.
I think the only thing that would have made the book even more awesome (can you imagine that), would be if there were actual illustrations in the book. We do get some small bits here and there, mostly chapter headers. But I want more! I mean the cover and the headers are so much fun.
All in all, I loved this book and truly flew through the book in one go. I just had to keep on reading! I would highly recommend this hilarious, not so much biscuits but tons of saving the world and monsters and dimensions, book to everyone.
Review first posted at https://twirlingbookprincess.com/
A delightful and fun story about a girl living in Normalton where things aren’t so normal. There is a biscuit factory nearby and well the things that is coming out of that place ain’t biscuits. Oh no. More like dimensions being broken, doors that should have stayed close opened, and more. Daily craziness happens to the point that people just tend to ignore it or just shrug it off. I guess I would have done the same, though I think I still lean more towards our MC and that she is seeing it all! In this book things go terribly wrong (and not just Haddie’s music) when doors pop up all over town and dimensions may crash! I absolutely loved this bonkers story and I had tons of fun seeing Haddie find her guitar, dodge monsters, and oh yeah, try to save the world.
Our MC is a bit bossy at times, BUT it wasn’t too much. It didn’t even stand out too much until someone mentioned it, then I thought back and indeed I could see that she was bossy. For most though this girl is super. I mean, she is the the only one who can resist the whole Biscuit Factory and their whole you don’t see anything stuff. She is not impressed with buses with music and anime and sweets. She kicks some serious butt, is not afraid to go to heights to get what she wants, and she is willing to improve herself and say sorry when she finds out that she may have gone a tad too far at times.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about Man Man, he was just a tad too aggressive for me. But I did like that he was a rabbit and that there were apparently other rabbits (including one I had totally not expected to be a rabbit, but that was a great surprise).
The orange monsters were hilarious though! I mean, I had expected them to be a bit more dangerous, but all these monsters do is be fluffy, annoy people by sitting on them, dance, and make some random comments. This was much better! Much funnier!
I loved the biccypedia entries, though I did feel sad that at one point in the story they disappeared! I was looking forward to them each chapter and now they were gone for a while. I also loved the name tags and what they said. Not just the names of the person wearing it, but also their cookie expertise (well, given that the biscuit factory doesn’t make biscuits, can we really call it expertise? Haha). There are also notifications from Haddie and plenty more fourth wall breaking that I absolutely loved.
The ending was just the best! I really liked it, it fitted perfectly with the story and completed it.
I think the only thing that would have made the book even more awesome (can you imagine that), would be if there were actual illustrations in the book. We do get some small bits here and there, mostly chapter headers. But I want more! I mean the cover and the headers are so much fun.
All in all, I loved this book and truly flew through the book in one go. I just had to keep on reading! I would highly recommend this hilarious, not so much biscuits but tons of saving the world and monsters and dimensions, book to everyone.
Review first posted at https://twirlingbookprincess.com/
July 22, 2021
A fun fuelled fun-ride filled with fun. The fun characters and fun situations are bound to bring lots of fun to all fun-loving readers.
May 3, 2021
When there’s a Biscuit Factory that’s clearly not making biscuits, but everyone pretends that it is, even though they absolutely know it isn’t, then it’s only a matter of time before reality crumbles…
I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here by saying that the biscuit factory, manned by ‘Biscuitrons’ is actually a science laboratory, toying with the very fabric of reality. Which in this case results in the proliferation of daft orange monsters. (It’s on the book cover, so it’s okay). Only, the monsters are just the tip of the iceberg. They hint at further troubles. Troubles that involve guitars, rabbits and guns of doom.
This book is like a fun house of silly. The floors shake beneath your feet. The stairways move up, down and all around. And round ever corner is a foam bollard of bonkers ready to smack you in the face. And like a fun house, you fall out the other side laughing and wondering exactly what it was all about. Yes, it is kind of like that – the language and the jokes and the scatty characters will certainly make you giggle. But it's not pointless nuttiness: tucked inside the hilarity are a few little messages about friendship and cooperation, and observations about leadership and why people follow orders; these are things that would be great for a class discussion...
Or you can forget all that and just go with the laughs, up to you.
Essentially, this is a joyous exploration of dimensions, conventions and personalities: bored receptionists, compliant employees, superhero rabbits (you heard), people with hidden depths, misunderstood introverts and the main character – a supremely confident eleven-year-old girl called Haddie, who, in a kind of endearing way is bossy and a tad selfish. It’s surreal and very, very funny – genuine laugh-out-loud moments – with wonderful dialogue, bafflingly-addictive intrigue, and plenty of variety in font and layout to entice even the most reluctant of readers.
The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory is going to steal your time and tickle your ribs. I give it F Minus.
(That’s an in-joke – I actually give it A-star).
For lovers of Wed Wabbit by Lissa Evans, and Alfie Fleet's Guide to the Universe by Martin Howard.
I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here by saying that the biscuit factory, manned by ‘Biscuitrons’ is actually a science laboratory, toying with the very fabric of reality. Which in this case results in the proliferation of daft orange monsters. (It’s on the book cover, so it’s okay). Only, the monsters are just the tip of the iceberg. They hint at further troubles. Troubles that involve guitars, rabbits and guns of doom.
This book is like a fun house of silly. The floors shake beneath your feet. The stairways move up, down and all around. And round ever corner is a foam bollard of bonkers ready to smack you in the face. And like a fun house, you fall out the other side laughing and wondering exactly what it was all about. Yes, it is kind of like that – the language and the jokes and the scatty characters will certainly make you giggle. But it's not pointless nuttiness: tucked inside the hilarity are a few little messages about friendship and cooperation, and observations about leadership and why people follow orders; these are things that would be great for a class discussion...
Or you can forget all that and just go with the laughs, up to you.
Essentially, this is a joyous exploration of dimensions, conventions and personalities: bored receptionists, compliant employees, superhero rabbits (you heard), people with hidden depths, misunderstood introverts and the main character – a supremely confident eleven-year-old girl called Haddie, who, in a kind of endearing way is bossy and a tad selfish. It’s surreal and very, very funny – genuine laugh-out-loud moments – with wonderful dialogue, bafflingly-addictive intrigue, and plenty of variety in font and layout to entice even the most reluctant of readers.
The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory is going to steal your time and tickle your ribs. I give it F Minus.
(That’s an in-joke – I actually give it A-star).
For lovers of Wed Wabbit by Lissa Evans, and Alfie Fleet's Guide to the Universe by Martin Howard.
February 6, 2025
This is another absolutely top-notch middle grade book from the genius that brought us Happytown Must Be Destroyed.
It is funny and action-packed from beginning to end, and contains great messages about pursuing your goals but also listening to your friends occasionally. Mainly though, it is a hilarious romp of big orange fluffy monsters, a rabbit who thinks he is a Man and a superhero, scientists who pretend they make biscuits, and the perils of riding the Happybus and pretending that everything is all Normalton when actually things are pretty weird and something needs to be done about it.
I read this aloud to my two as a bedtime story and it was one of our favourites all round. I particularly liked doing my Big Orange Monster voice and have spent a lot of time since finishing the book letting the kids know that ‘I Am Reading This Book’ or ‘I Am Standing In A Very Messy Bedroom’ to groans (them) and hilarity (me).
Here’s what Minishine (12) and Babybows (9) had to say about the it (the book, not my attempts at humour!):
Babybows: This was totally awesome! My favourite bit is ManMan because he is so determined and wants to fight everything all the time. I love this whole book so much though! I mean, there are weird fluffy monsters from a biscuit science factory – SO cool!
Minishine: I liked the big orange monsters too because they always say what they are doing, like, ‘I Am Reviewing A Really Good Book!’ It was a really hectic story – in a good way. Like, CRAZY good!
Babybows: Yep, AND I love the scientists, because I like science, AND the weird one-way wandering way doors.
Minishine: I liked ManMan too and how his superpower was being a man, and definitely NOT a rabbit!
Babybows: And Haddie’s superpower was her guitar – El Jirafa Tremendo – and being determined to not pretend things are okay when they’re not. And she has to learn to be more careful about what she does and to not boss people around all the time… [meaningful look]
Minishine (indignant): I DON’T boss people around!!!
Babybows: Anyway, do you want to know what I DIDN’T like about the book?— [suspenseful pause]
—I didn’t like that there isn’t another one yet!
You heard him, James Harris! When is the next hilarious madcap adventure coming out… we can’t wait!
It is funny and action-packed from beginning to end, and contains great messages about pursuing your goals but also listening to your friends occasionally. Mainly though, it is a hilarious romp of big orange fluffy monsters, a rabbit who thinks he is a Man and a superhero, scientists who pretend they make biscuits, and the perils of riding the Happybus and pretending that everything is all Normalton when actually things are pretty weird and something needs to be done about it.
I read this aloud to my two as a bedtime story and it was one of our favourites all round. I particularly liked doing my Big Orange Monster voice and have spent a lot of time since finishing the book letting the kids know that ‘I Am Reading This Book’ or ‘I Am Standing In A Very Messy Bedroom’ to groans (them) and hilarity (me).
Here’s what Minishine (12) and Babybows (9) had to say about the it (the book, not my attempts at humour!):
Babybows: This was totally awesome! My favourite bit is ManMan because he is so determined and wants to fight everything all the time. I love this whole book so much though! I mean, there are weird fluffy monsters from a biscuit science factory – SO cool!
Minishine: I liked the big orange monsters too because they always say what they are doing, like, ‘I Am Reviewing A Really Good Book!’ It was a really hectic story – in a good way. Like, CRAZY good!
Babybows: Yep, AND I love the scientists, because I like science, AND the weird one-way wandering way doors.
Minishine: I liked ManMan too and how his superpower was being a man, and definitely NOT a rabbit!
Babybows: And Haddie’s superpower was her guitar – El Jirafa Tremendo – and being determined to not pretend things are okay when they’re not. And she has to learn to be more careful about what she does and to not boss people around all the time… [meaningful look]
Minishine (indignant): I DON’T boss people around!!!
Babybows: Anyway, do you want to know what I DIDN’T like about the book?— [suspenseful pause]
—I didn’t like that there isn’t another one yet!
You heard him, James Harris! When is the next hilarious madcap adventure coming out… we can’t wait!
March 29, 2021
What a hilarious and brilliant debut! If you like Douglas Adams (or even if you've never heard of him), you will love this.
In off-the-wall fashion (and continually breaking the fourth wall), Harris pulls us into the world of Normalton, a place where everyone pretends nothing is wrong, even if they have opened a door to other dimensions where monsters are climbing through and they are literally pinned to the floor by an orange fluffy monster.
Haddie has other ideas. Haddie can't pretend it's not happening like everyone else, because it very much is happening and she knows that she must do something to change it.
Haddie's creation of her own chords (watch out for the F minus - it has hidden powers) and the invention of things you don't find in science books is a great message for children to inspire them to create things beyond what already exists. It shows how hope and action can inspire change. The world we were swept into, the characters, the analogies to our world - the rabbits! - and possibly the most epic first gig of all time. I loved it.
This will be a firm favourite for children and adults everywhere. I can't wait to read his next book.
In off-the-wall fashion (and continually breaking the fourth wall), Harris pulls us into the world of Normalton, a place where everyone pretends nothing is wrong, even if they have opened a door to other dimensions where monsters are climbing through and they are literally pinned to the floor by an orange fluffy monster.
Haddie has other ideas. Haddie can't pretend it's not happening like everyone else, because it very much is happening and she knows that she must do something to change it.
Haddie's creation of her own chords (watch out for the F minus - it has hidden powers) and the invention of things you don't find in science books is a great message for children to inspire them to create things beyond what already exists. It shows how hope and action can inspire change. The world we were swept into, the characters, the analogies to our world - the rabbits! - and possibly the most epic first gig of all time. I loved it.
This will be a firm favourite for children and adults everywhere. I can't wait to read his next book.
March 27, 2021
This is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. It’s a very particular type of bonkers humour that will likely resonate with fans of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams - and when it finds the right readers, it’ll have them chuckling out loud. I loved spending time with Hadz and the gang, I was swept up by the world and, as more and more bumbling orange monsters crowded the town of Normalton to hilarious effect, I found myself talking like them and thinking about them way after I’d stopped reading. It just felt GOOD to spend time in this world. And while being thoroughly entertaining, it shows young people that they can all make a difference. The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory is an empowering read and it will make some young people want to stand up and make their mark on the world around them.
June 10, 2021
An amazingly funny story about monsters, dimensions, music, and 100% definitely not maybe not biscuits.
James Harris pulls you into to a small town called town normalton. where everyone pretends nothing is wrong, even if it lands right in front of you or they have opened a door to different dimensions where you are being squashed by orange fluffy monster. Everything is fine!
I was pleasantly surprised By this book, I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occasion the witty and comical writing of this fantastic story is one for all to read.
This wonderful story is a perfect book for ages 7+ .
James Harris pulls you into to a small town called town normalton. where everyone pretends nothing is wrong, even if it lands right in front of you or they have opened a door to different dimensions where you are being squashed by orange fluffy monster. Everything is fine!
I was pleasantly surprised By this book, I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occasion the witty and comical writing of this fantastic story is one for all to read.
This wonderful story is a perfect book for ages 7+ .
March 27, 2021
What a hilarious book!
Kids' books are so funny. You just don't get adults' books like this, not since the glory days of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. I absolutely adore this anarchic, crazy brand of humour.
I can't decide if my favourite part is the Biccypedia entries, or Hadz breaking the fourth wall all the time, or the orange monster MAKING A BIG NOISE WITH HIS MOUTH! This is just a really funny book; I kept having to put it down so I could laugh for a few minutes.
Kids are going to absolutely adore this one. I hope James writes more books. I can't wait to read them.
Kids' books are so funny. You just don't get adults' books like this, not since the glory days of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. I absolutely adore this anarchic, crazy brand of humour.
I can't decide if my favourite part is the Biccypedia entries, or Hadz breaking the fourth wall all the time, or the orange monster MAKING A BIG NOISE WITH HIS MOUTH! This is just a really funny book; I kept having to put it down so I could laugh for a few minutes.
Kids are going to absolutely adore this one. I hope James writes more books. I can't wait to read them.
April 9, 2021
A stroppy punk rock heroine who knows what you're like. A rabbit who thinks he's a superhero. The coolest bass player in this (or any other) universe. A gonzo scientist who made the perfect biscuit as a cover story for buggering about with the rules of time and space. Text with Dolby sound effects. A theme of creativity just for it's own damn sake. This book isn't for everyone. It's better than that.
June 1, 2021
This is not a book -it's a phenomenon! Perfect for fans of biscuits - even those which may contain nuts (spoiler: it does!). Perfect for children too - even those, like me, who are (much) closer to my second childhood than my first, of which I only have sketchy memories.
Please, Mr Harris, do not make it a one-off. I want more!
When do my biscuits arrive?
Please, Mr Harris, do not make it a one-off. I want more!
When do my biscuits arrive?
August 14, 2021
Utterly bonkers and wacky and unlike any kids books I’ve recently read. It’s a real find. It’s funny and clever and cool. It’s actually quite jaw-droppingly pertinent and timely. I hope the next generation of kids read this and it all sinks in… but even if it doesn’t, it’s very fun!!! I can’t wait for my kids to read it once theyre done with Harry Potter!
April 10, 2021
This might be a kids book but I don’t care how old you are, you’ll still find it hilarious. One of those books I kept making time to read because I wanted to know what was going to happen next! Full of biscuits, orange fluffy monsters and the best kind of nonsense. Can’t recommend enough 🔥
March 23, 2021
I tried really hard to get into the book, but I struggled with it.
April 17, 2021
Totally fabooley.
May 8, 2021
Bonkers. With little moments of heart and humility. Was happy to see there were no fluffy orange monsters in this book as that would be absurd...
A chatty narrative style, with great sound effects.
A chatty narrative style, with great sound effects.
June 3, 2021
Madcap and fun adventure for year 4 and upwards!
November 4, 2021
Totally bonkers, lots of fun. Highly recommended for 8+
June 17, 2024
Five stars in parts but it didn't quite hold my attention right to the end. Also, I'm not sure the rabbits really work.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews