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Clarity: A Memoir
“Estill writes with the wit and grit of Mary Karr and Jeanette Walls.” – BookLife Prize
At age four, Diana manages her family’s banking, grocery shops alone, and befriends the town drunk. Her father is too busy chasing skirts and throwing fits to notice what she does. And her mom is too mentally absent to properly parent. While Diana’s narcissistic dad terrorizes and exploits her, she works harder to please him.
Estill, an award-winning humor author, shares an honest and comedic look at her dysfunctional childhood. As an adult, she struggles to reclaim her power while caring for her dementia-impaired dad.
In this thought-provoking tale of resilience, the author pierces the fog of emotional abuse.
At age four, Diana manages her family’s banking, grocery shops alone, and befriends the town drunk. Her father is too busy chasing skirts and throwing fits to notice what she does. And her mom is too mentally absent to properly parent. While Diana’s narcissistic dad terrorizes and exploits her, she works harder to please him.
Estill, an award-winning humor author, shares an honest and comedic look at her dysfunctional childhood. As an adult, she struggles to reclaim her power while caring for her dementia-impaired dad.
In this thought-provoking tale of resilience, the author pierces the fog of emotional abuse.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
248 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 9, 2021
434 people are currently reading
1024 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
March 11, 2021
If you have never read any of Diana Estill’s books you have no idea what you are missing. Her latest book is raw, funny, sad and happy all at the same time. This true memoir gave me all the “feels” while reading it. Diana writes from the heart while telling her story of growing up with a narcissistic father and an emotionally absent mother. This is a must read for anyone that has been through that or for anyone that wants to learn what it was like during that time.
March 30, 2022
How much can one endure? How can one recount with such objective detail the abuse of a parent. What an amazing book. Bravo for having the courage and strength to write this beautiful, sad, humorous, memoire. I wish you only peace, happiness and love.
July 1, 2025
Not my usual genre. I don’t really know what I was expecting but I didn’t particularly enjoy this one. I kept reading looking for the reason of the story-I didn’t find it.
April 30, 2021
I received a Kindle copy of this from the Goodreads First Read contest. Opinions are entirely my own.
Whenever I read a memoir by an unknown writer (or at least a writer I’m unfamiliar with), I feel worried that I’m not going to enjoy the book. No other book gives me that fear, but memoirs are more vulnerable then almost any other genre of books-except poetry.
Clarity was a difficult book to read. It was one of those books that was written in such a way that my emotions were all over the place. By the time I finished, I felt exhausted and relieved to finally get to the end. And this is exactly the reason I love memoirs so much, when they are good, they are good because their authors’ allow the vulnerabilities they possess bleed out on the page. Clarity is this kind of memoir, and it’s easy to see why Diana Estill felt the need to write the story of the relationship between her and her dad.
Before I read this book, I hadn’t even heard of Diana Estill, but now I want to read her other books. While Clarity was not close to being a humorous book, Estill frequently shows us her humor and I liked what I saw.
I gave this book four out of five books.
Whenever I read a memoir by an unknown writer (or at least a writer I’m unfamiliar with), I feel worried that I’m not going to enjoy the book. No other book gives me that fear, but memoirs are more vulnerable then almost any other genre of books-except poetry.
Clarity was a difficult book to read. It was one of those books that was written in such a way that my emotions were all over the place. By the time I finished, I felt exhausted and relieved to finally get to the end. And this is exactly the reason I love memoirs so much, when they are good, they are good because their authors’ allow the vulnerabilities they possess bleed out on the page. Clarity is this kind of memoir, and it’s easy to see why Diana Estill felt the need to write the story of the relationship between her and her dad.
Before I read this book, I hadn’t even heard of Diana Estill, but now I want to read her other books. While Clarity was not close to being a humorous book, Estill frequently shows us her humor and I liked what I saw.
I gave this book four out of five books.
June 3, 2021
Pedophilia throughout
Pedophilia ruined this book. The author's father pursued her relentlessly from her childhood into her adulthood. I made it to 60% and realized the book was actually about him. A grotesque, disgusting excuse of a human being, that so far has gotten away with his crimes. I hope he is caught and pays, but I can't endure the torture to find out.
Writing is juvenile and I doubt I'd read anything else by this author.
Pedophilia ruined this book. The author's father pursued her relentlessly from her childhood into her adulthood. I made it to 60% and realized the book was actually about him. A grotesque, disgusting excuse of a human being, that so far has gotten away with his crimes. I hope he is caught and pays, but I can't endure the torture to find out.
Writing is juvenile and I doubt I'd read anything else by this author.
June 28, 2021
Why
I finished the book but I got rid of it after. I didn't get much from this aurthor.It was ok.
I finished the book but I got rid of it after. I didn't get much from this aurthor.It was ok.
Read
August 4, 2021I thought it was suppose to be a funny memoir about this woman growing up - I found nothing funny or close to funny in it. The father had some obvious serious mental problems - couldn't stomach it
January 14, 2022
I hate to call this unputdownable memoir entertaining considering the serious subject it deals with, but it is a testament to the writing skills Diana Estill. Her father seemed to need to be the center of attention, a fifties father whose house and family revolved around him. Diana being the oldest understood a lot of what was going on but seemed helpless to stop it. She almost always replied in some way to her father's baited questions. Even after the parents divorced and the grown kids went their separate ways and each had successive marriages, Diana's father found ways to get the attention he needed worming his way into Diana's life. After several more failed marriages in the family, each found a good spouse. That didn't stop Diana's father from continuously calling her instead of going to his wife with his problems. I know I'd have never had the patience and devotion to deal with his phone calls. Kudos to her husband for putting up with his father-in-law. Later it all became more serious when he got Alzheimer's and that had to be dealt with in addition to his big personality.
I especially liked her disclaimer in the introduction where she called her memoir creative non-fiction. Also appreciated the few family photos that were added.
I especially liked her disclaimer in the introduction where she called her memoir creative non-fiction. Also appreciated the few family photos that were added.
July 30, 2022
A memoir detailing the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father and the lack of love from her mother. Her father perused and groomed her throughout her childhood to be his stand in wife. The poor girl didn’t even feel like she could have gone to her mother and voice her fathers unwelcome advances. Even when she moved out of her family home, had her own family, and each went their separate ways her mother and father still used her at their beck and call. And she answered. Every single time. The need to feel needed or to be the one to fix whatever was troubling her mother or father was felt throughout the book. There was a lot of information about her father, a sort of biography as much as it was a memoir of her life. In the end I felt like she was trying to explain why her father was the way he was and why she felt the need to continue to be there for him. Very sad cycle and why she explained the importance of speaking up. Overall a good read for those who like this genre.
DISCLOSURE: A sincere thank you to Goodreads for gifting me this kindle edition through the Giveaways. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.
DISCLOSURE: A sincere thank you to Goodreads for gifting me this kindle edition through the Giveaways. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.
March 18, 2021
An excellent memoir
I was glued to this memoir, right from its shocking opening. It was just unbelievable to me that someone could ever do something like that to a child.
And it isn’t a ‘one-off’. Dirty, petty, rotten tricks continue. Selfish and spiteful behaviour, lack of care and support. Neglect. Not caring, not attending to her, not understanding; they think it's a big joke, but for a sensitive young girl, it's scary. I can see how things can build up and turn into full-blown abuse. Such a hard childhood. Some of the things made me so angry.
Despite their lack of enthusiasm for parenting skills, her mother was soon pregnant again. Diana was given tasks which a young child wouldn't usually be expected to do; for example, paying a cheque in the bank. She was just four and a half when she was running such errands. Alone, on the street, crossing busy roads etc. This should not have happened. They treated her as a dogsbody.
Then there was the smacking and whipping. Even worse is that mum knows, and goes along with her 'punishment'. When her brother is only two months old, her parents put him in Diana's bedroom. They should be watching him carefully, looking after him. Not a five-year-old having to play Nanny! And they keep on having children, when they can't treat the ones they have with love and care. By the age of just nine, and for nearly half of her life, she's had to nursemaid baby brothers in her room overnight, while the parents did nothing. It’s just unbelievable how parents could have such lack of concern. Frightening their children, dragging them down, not making them feel secure. As she gets older, it is all very confusing for her. And, after the neglect and thrashings, she mistakes it for welcome attention, attention that she craved, to be loved and cherished.
There are quite a few examples where it's not all gloomy; a few moments of nostalgia, and some scenes which make you smile. Well balanced. She has quite a few unique phrases-well, ones I'd not heard, anyway.
One of the things that drew me to this memoir was a post I saw on the author’s page, or website. Her meticulous research to make sure an item in the book was as she was remembering; that attention to detail, that caring to get it as authentic as possible, I love that.
I loved that some of the music of the time was mentioned; when she's a teenager eg. ‘Light My Fire ‘by The Doors, Blue Oyster Cult ‘Don't Fear the Reaper’. This really adds to the atmosphere and sense of time.
This isn’t just a childhood memoir-the book spans many years, until things come full circle, and there will come a point where the parents might need to rely on Diana. Would she be there for them when they had been there so little for her?
This was so well-written, and reads quickly and easily, despite the difficult subject matter. An excellent account with powerful conclusions.
I was glued to this memoir, right from its shocking opening. It was just unbelievable to me that someone could ever do something like that to a child.
And it isn’t a ‘one-off’. Dirty, petty, rotten tricks continue. Selfish and spiteful behaviour, lack of care and support. Neglect. Not caring, not attending to her, not understanding; they think it's a big joke, but for a sensitive young girl, it's scary. I can see how things can build up and turn into full-blown abuse. Such a hard childhood. Some of the things made me so angry.
Despite their lack of enthusiasm for parenting skills, her mother was soon pregnant again. Diana was given tasks which a young child wouldn't usually be expected to do; for example, paying a cheque in the bank. She was just four and a half when she was running such errands. Alone, on the street, crossing busy roads etc. This should not have happened. They treated her as a dogsbody.
Then there was the smacking and whipping. Even worse is that mum knows, and goes along with her 'punishment'. When her brother is only two months old, her parents put him in Diana's bedroom. They should be watching him carefully, looking after him. Not a five-year-old having to play Nanny! And they keep on having children, when they can't treat the ones they have with love and care. By the age of just nine, and for nearly half of her life, she's had to nursemaid baby brothers in her room overnight, while the parents did nothing. It’s just unbelievable how parents could have such lack of concern. Frightening their children, dragging them down, not making them feel secure. As she gets older, it is all very confusing for her. And, after the neglect and thrashings, she mistakes it for welcome attention, attention that she craved, to be loved and cherished.
There are quite a few examples where it's not all gloomy; a few moments of nostalgia, and some scenes which make you smile. Well balanced. She has quite a few unique phrases-well, ones I'd not heard, anyway.
One of the things that drew me to this memoir was a post I saw on the author’s page, or website. Her meticulous research to make sure an item in the book was as she was remembering; that attention to detail, that caring to get it as authentic as possible, I love that.
I loved that some of the music of the time was mentioned; when she's a teenager eg. ‘Light My Fire ‘by The Doors, Blue Oyster Cult ‘Don't Fear the Reaper’. This really adds to the atmosphere and sense of time.
This isn’t just a childhood memoir-the book spans many years, until things come full circle, and there will come a point where the parents might need to rely on Diana. Would she be there for them when they had been there so little for her?
This was so well-written, and reads quickly and easily, despite the difficult subject matter. An excellent account with powerful conclusions.
January 7, 2022
Strange book
I was caught up in this book without filling appreciate what was written. Nothing seemed to connect the author's tales but I couldn't put the book down. I don't think I truly understood what or why she had the experiences growing up that she did. Dysfunctional family doesn't even comes close to described what those kids experienced growing up. Both parents were manipulative carbon units that. seemed to try to one up each other with how they treated their children, well the daughter in particular. To be succinct that entire family are a mental case all to themselves. Glad I am finished reading it but can't perceive why I kept reading it.
I was caught up in this book without filling appreciate what was written. Nothing seemed to connect the author's tales but I couldn't put the book down. I don't think I truly understood what or why she had the experiences growing up that she did. Dysfunctional family doesn't even comes close to described what those kids experienced growing up. Both parents were manipulative carbon units that. seemed to try to one up each other with how they treated their children, well the daughter in particular. To be succinct that entire family are a mental case all to themselves. Glad I am finished reading it but can't perceive why I kept reading it.
April 10, 2021
This memoir was one that I hated to see end. However, it is different than some memoirs I have read in that this memoir's sole focus was on her relationship with her father. It was not exactly what I expected, but it was hard to put down. I found it sad how it seems that the whole of her identity was wrapped up in her unique and abusive father. This again shows how even when we have a parent(s) that is abusive or non nurturing, we still want their approval and for some they feel they owe their dysfunctional parent something.
May 11, 2021
No one can tell a story from the heart unless they have lived it. Diana Estill opens herself and shares her story in her new book, Clarity: A Memoir.
From a very early age, Diane is the unsuspecting subject of her parents’ abuse and neglect. Though she tries to extricate herself from the unpleasant actions of her parents, the ties that bind are strong and unforgiving. Not often do readers get a glimpse into such a chaotic and frightful life.
Kudos to Diana Estill and thank you for sharing your story.
From a very early age, Diane is the unsuspecting subject of her parents’ abuse and neglect. Though she tries to extricate herself from the unpleasant actions of her parents, the ties that bind are strong and unforgiving. Not often do readers get a glimpse into such a chaotic and frightful life.
Kudos to Diana Estill and thank you for sharing your story.
January 18, 2022
I really appreciated the honest place this book came from. What a good memoir! Never ending twists and turns in the life of Diana Estill kept me on edge. I can’t imagine coming from such a traumatized past and showing kind obligation for a dying parent without having had such an experience myself.
I know this book was about her parents, but I would have liked to hear more about her first, abusive, marriage. It was glossed over and skipped. Perhaps a topic for another book? I can hope!
I know this book was about her parents, but I would have liked to hear more about her first, abusive, marriage. It was glossed over and skipped. Perhaps a topic for another book? I can hope!
May 31, 2022
I won this book in a goodreads giveaway. Thank you so much for the free book, it was an amazing one. It is such a gift to be able to read about others’ childhoods and lives. We can learn from the honesty here. Diana reeled me in from the first chapter, I had a hard time putting this down even when it was a difficult time in her life.
June 19, 2022
For starters it was very weird finishing this book on Father’s Day. This memoir is uncomfortable, aggravating, and at times funny. I had to keep reminding myself of the time period these things were happening in. It was so hard to watch her fall prey to her tormentor. I understand the ties that bind her but that doesn’t quench my desire to cut them.
May 22, 2021
Amazing memoir
I loved this book! It was very well written and entertaining to read. It made me happy,sad, angry and emotional but in a good way. Most of all it was funny! I enjoyed the dark humor. I recommend this book!
I loved this book! It was very well written and entertaining to read. It made me happy,sad, angry and emotional but in a good way. Most of all it was funny! I enjoyed the dark humor. I recommend this book!
July 22, 2021
Page turner
I couldn’t put this book down. I was captured by the author’s vulnerability. She has such a beautiful way of telling such an ugly story. Great read, I highly recommend.
I couldn’t put this book down. I was captured by the author’s vulnerability. She has such a beautiful way of telling such an ugly story. Great read, I highly recommend.
September 17, 2021
Crazy Family!
I really wanted to like this book,but it left me very depressed. I thought this was going to be a funny book,but it just left me feeling down. My mood is down right now for certain reasons and reading this made me feel worse.
I really wanted to like this book,but it left me very depressed. I thought this was going to be a funny book,but it just left me feeling down. My mood is down right now for certain reasons and reading this made me feel worse.
September 28, 2021
insight into sexual abuse, mental health disorders and Alzheimer's disease.
Profound example of how parental sexual, emotional and physical abuse affects the psyche of their children. The author has mastered the short and long-term relationships within families.
Profound example of how parental sexual, emotional and physical abuse affects the psyche of their children. The author has mastered the short and long-term relationships within families.
December 1, 2021
Compelling story
I was thinking as I read this story of how one can never imagine what goes on in families. How sad for this little girl and her family growing up with such psychological dysfunction. Heartbreaking. Resilient.
I was thinking as I read this story of how one can never imagine what goes on in families. How sad for this little girl and her family growing up with such psychological dysfunction. Heartbreaking. Resilient.
January 19, 2022
good book
It’s interesting to see the dynamic between a dad and a child or there is molestation very sad sad story but one of a strong woman. There’s definitely a page turner when I could barely put down
It’s interesting to see the dynamic between a dad and a child or there is molestation very sad sad story but one of a strong woman. There’s definitely a page turner when I could barely put down
April 15, 2021
Dad
Story of a family and the lives of three brothers a sister and mother and father.the weird relationship between mom, dad. And the daughter
Story of a family and the lives of three brothers a sister and mother and father.the weird relationship between mom, dad. And the daughter
May 1, 2021
Decent book, but I got so sick of her dad. What a goon.
May 23, 2021
An excellent memoir...The author was exceedingly brave for telling her story of her family relationships and how it shaped her into adulthood.
June 2, 2021
Goodreads win. A must-read.
August 5, 2021
Excellent book!
Very compelling book. Excellent author. Her writing style flows smoothly, and is very easy reading. I enjoyed this book immensely.
Very compelling book. Excellent author. Her writing style flows smoothly, and is very easy reading. I enjoyed this book immensely.
September 5, 2021
Really detailed.
Well narrated and in-depth. Reading this memoir was as close to living it as any person other than the author the subject material could get.
Well narrated and in-depth. Reading this memoir was as close to living it as any person other than the author the subject material could get.
September 17, 2021
One can reflect on this to realize how truly wonderful your own life is. The dysfunctional family can be your neighbor and you'd never know it. Diana writes with ease and clarity throughout.
November 10, 2021
This was a hard book to read. I kept wanting the author to change the dynamics between she and her father. However, I understand how hard those relationships can be, so I'm not judging her.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews