Not Quite Fine: Mental Health, Faith, and Showing Up for One Another

by Carlene Hill Byron

A practical guide for people who care

There is no time in history and no place in the world where so many people have understood themselves to be suffering from mental health problems. There is also virtually no time and no place in the world where people who are suffering have been so readily ostracized.

In Not Quite Fine, author Carlene Hill Byron tackles the mounting dilemmas that pastors and churches face around mental health. Medicines and therapies have their roles in supporting those who live with mental health problems or mental illness. But God’s own body as the church is intended to be our greatest support in this world. How can the church step up for such a time as this? How can the body of Christ become a healing community for its members in pain—a place where the weary find strength for the journey, a place where those who mourn are raised up as rebuilders of the cities left in ruins?
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Drawing on her own history of mental health problems and her experience as a teacher and lay counselor, Byron offers words of hope for those who struggle as well as practical insights to equip congregations to better support those who are suffering in their midst.
 

Genres: Nonfiction

206 pages, Paperback

First published October 5, 2021

Reviews

[Jessica Kantrowitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Closer to Fine: Mental Health, Faith, and Showing Up for Each Other, Carlene Hill Byron has written a compassionate, clear, well-researched guide for Christians who want to understand how to better support each other through mental health challenges. With humor, empathy, and determination, Byron presents her own struggles and experiences, along with those of others, and gives practical guidance on how to not only support those with mental illness, but recognize the unique gifts that they bring to Christian community. Closer to Fine should be required reading for pastors and all church-goers.

[Carlene Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm prejudiced. If I didn't think this was a good read -- even an important one -- the book wouldn't exist.

I've lived more than 4 decades with mental health diagnoses. I've worked professionally all those years, been part of faith communities, owned homes, had (and have!) friends. And as I watch our mental health professional community expand diagnoses to include fully half the US adult population, I have to ask: Are so many of us really mentally ill? Or are we just not quite fine? And -- to draw on the wise words of church historian Kate Bowler -- if there's "no cure for being human," perhaps we can just remember that "we are all good medicine" for each other.

In Not Quite Fine, I encourage you to consider how you can help everyone in your circle experience meaning, belonging, purpose, value and hope. These evidence-based mental health supports are "good medicine" all of us can offer to each other. We don't need to be mental health professionals to help those who are "not quite fine." Each of us has our part.

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a brilliant, important book. The author vulnerably shares from her own decades long experience with mental illness and includes a wealth of research. My husband and I have been doing pastoral care work for more than twenty years now and without a doubt, I can still feel terribly unqualified and overwhelmed when attempting to come alongside men and women who struggle with mental health issues. Byron helps readers to understand what they can and should not do and what it looks like to show up and be a good friend. Not Quite Fine is super helpful and super practical.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars, no question.
This book, written by a woman who has lived with mental health diagnoses for decades, is simply excellent. The author currently works with the disabled and as a chaplain, and has worked in the PR and communications worlds for many years as well. She's somewhat uniquely qualified to write such a book, and she does it with truth and grace.
In particular, I learned a lot from the chapter on how our culture undermines mental health, and her chapters on how essential humility and fearlessness are when welcoming the mentally ill into Christian community.
Surprising statistics and studies back up her concerns for our culture's failures in this area, for the stigma connected with mental illness, and in particular, problems within the church in regard to welcoming the mentally ill. I am impressed by how well-researched this book is. This serves as a wake-up call to the church, but also as a handbook, giving very specific, practical and encouraging advice on how to minister to anyone as a brother and sister in Christ, no matter their mental health. She also has a detailed list of resources in the back for individuals and groups.
When it seems helpful to her points, she details some of her her own experience within Christian communities, and by so doing, invites us into more honest and compassionate understanding.
In fact, I've known the author for decades, and have seen some of the powerful impact she's had as a communicator, advocate, and writer - not to mention hearing her own perspective and experiences during the shifting seasons of her life, including when she has wrestled with the reality of God and her faith and experience. I have such high regard for her, for what she has gained and gleaned through suffering and struggling, and that she takes every opportunity to winsomely speak to those in the Body of Christ who need to hear her perspective.
Thank you, Carlene, for this treasure of a book. It will be added to our ministry library at church, and I will be returning to my (heavily underlined) copy in the future for sure.

[April Yamasaki · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can the church respond to what seems to be a growing mental health crisis? I love the way author Carlene Hill Byron addresses this question in her encouraging book. No, we may not be trained mental health professionals, but yes, the church has a positive role to play. We can show up for one another and take small steps like using our gifts of prayer, hospitality, and listening. We can acknowledge the larger challenges like doing what we can, yet accepting our limits, and placing our hope in God, who loves us and walks with us as we seek to walk together. See my full review: To All the People of God Who Know They're "Not Quite Fine".

[Melanie Springer Mock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate the author's authenticity and her thoughtful, engaging consideration of mental health and the church. Lots of good resources make this a book church leaders and laity should have in their toolbox.

[Judi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who best to talk about how to help those with mental health issues in the church than one who has her own long, personal history with both? Carlene Hill Byron has brought her own experiences with mental health issues and church involvement into a helpful book for those of us who may have no clue where to begin.

The church was created to be and give community. That should include all who who walk through the doors, even those who may have trouble trying to figure out where (not IF) they fit.

"Stigma sets outside the community those whose differences would endanger the community, thereby protecting the community's core identity. But stigma can also set outside the community those whose differences are only believed to be dangerous: immigrants, people of color, people of a different religious heritage, people with mental health problems." Continuing to stress community and the fact that we are ALL called to be part of the Body, Ms. Byron reminds us that we have unique opportunities to work with people who may be totally different than us but who are also called by the same God who calls us. Ms. Byron's five points: meaning, purpose, belonging, value and hope are what she uses to remind us that we all are able to contribute and grow and be who we ALL are in Christ. Quoting John Swinton, Byron notes, "Our relationships in Christ are intended to reflect 'passion, commitment, solidarity, the desire to be with and for the other', and to demonstrate the character of God's relationship with us, where servants have become friends." Her focus on the importance of community is through-out the book, and her dedication to all people being part of something together is unmissable. If you are looking for an extensive to-do list, you will not find it in this book; but you will find some simple suggestions on how to understand and include those with mental health issues, beginning with how we need to consider who they are as people. and regarding them as fellow travellers.

[Josh Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

By and large, the church has not proven itself to be a reliable resource when it comes to the treatment or acre of mental health. Ignorance is often at play—pastors and church members simply aren’t trained to handle mental health issues. Poor theology sometimes plays a part with mental health problems wrongly being conflated as sin or even (yikes!) demon possession. And this poor showing is really just a reflection of the culture at large, which has also not always done a great job in understanding or caring for those with mental health problems. In Not Quite Fine, Carlene Hill Byron interweaves her own story of mental health struggles with a blueprint of how we—we as individuals, we as a church body, and we as a culture—can do better.

One of the things I appreciated about the book was its foundational explanation of why mental health problems have been rapidly increasing. A primary argument I hear for those who tend to downplay mental health issues is “we didn’t have this when I was growing up,” implying that this generation is somehow weaker, softer, or (for men) less masculine than previous generations. Byron deftly shows how different factors have led to the increase. Some of it is reduced stigma—people are talking about their diagnoses more often. Some of it is that we have more tools to care for mental health, thus more things are becoming diagnosable. Most importantly, Byron writes, are sociological factors. In past generations, depression was seen as a normative response to grief or loss, lasting for years. Today, there’s an expectation that losses and grief will be “processed” in a week or less. These sociological changes dictate much of the mental health explosion.

Byron also addresses those who do not feel qualified to handle or treat mental health problems. This chapter is especially relevant to clergy who are often called upon to provide pastoral counseling and who may know just enough to be dangerous. Byron is clear that individuals do not need to be medical experts, they just need to how and when to refer a mental health issue to an expert. People with mental health problems are people, and they need other people in their lives who will love them and care for them—not just experts to diagnose and attempt to cure them.

Not Quite Fine is a much-needed resource for the church. It destigmatizes mental health issues while providing clear and actionable instructions for readers to put into practice. Too often, the church fails to act in this area because it isn’t properly equipped. Not Quite Fine equips the church to respond to this crisis and act appropriately. Studies suggest that 1 in 2 people will deal with a mental health problem in their lifetime. The church must know how to navigate this crisis in a way that is loving, respectful, and helpful. Byron teaches us to do just that.

[Michele Morin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Carlene Hill Byron has turned her concern about mental health into an excellent resource for churches, families, communities, and friends who want to show up for one another in the day to day challenges of maintaining mental health. Not Quite Fine might be a title we can all embrace, particularly in this season of COVID concerns in which no one is really walking in equilibrium as we experience “normal responses to abnormal circumstances.”

Byron makes a strong argument that the alarming mental health statistics in 2021 have their basis in the unhealthy cultural waters we’re all swimming in these days. For instance, how’s a soul to find meaning, purpose, value, and hope in an environment in which “normal” has been curated to mean Pinterest Perfect? Her compassionate voice is a battle cry and a wakeup call to the local church, for we are empowered by God to be a healing community with resources beyond what professional medical staff can begin to provide for hurting souls.

Perhaps the best news of all comes directly from Isaiah 61 where the prophet extends hope for the broken, promising comfort, and casting them in the role of rebuilders and restorers. Even if you are not already alarmed by rising suicide rates, the opioid crisis, and the prevalence of anxiety and depression as chronic conditions, the clear and insightful way in which Carlene addresses current mental health problems and the need for supportive communities will inspire you to think deeply about the lessons of suffering, the meaning of “normal,” and how our expectations can actually undermine our own mental health.

Many thanks to Herald Press for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which is, of course, offered freely and with honesty.

[Cheryl Bostrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important book—about individuals, and about our collective population, who truly are Not Quite Fine. Lest you adopt an “us and them” stance in response, please recognize that Carlene Hill Byron is talking not only about the mentally ill, but about you . . . and me.

Author Byron, who has dealt with her own mental health issues for decades, deserves the platform this book affords. She’s lived with her own mental illness, and she’s also thoroughly researched prevailing attitudes and practices surrounding mental health. Her experience counseling others in cognitive and emotional struggles rounds out her head knowledge with first-hand experience and infuses her views with compassion.

Consequently, she offers a Christian perspective for steps, both large and small, that we can take to love and support those in the throes of pain from brains and emotions that betray us—or those who need time to heal from trauma, grief, and other hurts that families, cultures, and this unstable world throw at us.

I was impressed by her clear read on how our changing culture distorts and hinders appropriate grappling with the suffering surrounding emotional pain and imbalance. With how she reframes some of the pain intrinsic to the human condition as a healthy, necessary response to our broken world, rather than labeling and dismissing it as a product of often stigmatized mental illness. With her trust in God through it all.

Her perspectives will challenge you. Agree or disagree, you’ll come away wiser, more thoughtful, and less likely to swallow the prevailing culture’s party line about mental illness.

With thanks to NetGalley for an advance review copy.

[Jessica Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is probably the best book on recovery that blends a personal journey of living with a mental illness in combination with academic studies and statistical facts that I have read. Her book is a brave testament to how faith communities can include people with emotional challenges and be involved in a healing process that benefits everyone. She calls upon faith communities to become better representatives for the teachings of religious faith. But you do not need to be a religious person to get a lot from this book. This book also speaks to a secular audience interested in recovery and it explains how people with emotional challenges can have more meaning and purpose within the church community and in their general lives.. Her book is not only essential reading for church leaders and church members, but it is important reading for mental health professionals and people with lived experience. Her book provokes more thinking and discussion about the very idea of mental illness. Something we should all consider in identifying and figuring out how to include people with these conditions in the world. I loved this book! It spoke to me as someone with lived experience as well as someone who has been a mental health professional and mental health advocate. This book is personal and profound. Thank you Carlene for having the courage to write this book!

[Melanie Weldon-Soiset · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Not Quite Fine" by Carlene Hill Byron is a game changer in the mental health conversation. This book challenges some core assumptions about mental health; namely, that our mental health needs and challenges are purely a private issue. The author, who has a mental health diagnosis herself that she is very open about throughout the book, offers compelling and empowering evidence and insights into how community members can make a difference regarding mental health improvement. "Not Quite Fine" weaves together wise Biblical application, robust, research-based conclusions, and her own personal testimony to offer best practices for those with mental health diagnoses, as well as those who love them. I find myself challenging some of my own inner dialogue after reading this book, and I am grateful for the changes, challenges, and wisdom that Carlene Hill Byron shares. This book has improved my life and my outlook.

[Jennifer DeFoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a Christian who has dealt with mental illness I was able to connect with so much of what the author said. Fortunately I have never been ostracized from the church due to my mental health issues, so I wasn't able to connect on those topics.
I think the author makes some great points. People with mental illnesses are a little different, but it doesn't mean we're not valuable. It may take accommodation to find where people with mental illnesses can fit, but letting us be a part of something bigger than ourselves can be mutually beneficial.
I think many churches and Christians could benefit from reading this book. I know if you've never dealt with a mental illness it's hard to imagine what it's like. But we don't need you to understand we just need you to be there for us.

[Gabriella Snyder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading "Not Quite Fine". Congratulations on writing this sensitive, gracious, informative, helpful, well-researched guide for those who suffer mental health problems, and those who want to help. I especially appreciated the chapter on how culture undermines mental health with its idolization of affluence, status and achievement. I also appreciated the many practical suggestions for walking humbly and fearlessly with sufferers through the difficult times. You never let us forget that God is walking with us, that God will help us toward the goal of every member of God's family experiencing belonging, meaning, value, purpose and hope.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author describes both what churches can do well and ways that churches can fail people with mental illness.

[Jerome · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the best book I've read so far on the topic of mental health and church. Byron gives helpful suggestions, stories, and resources.

[Corrica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book would be helpful for you if you are a clergy person, church leader, or Christian who doesn't understand mental illness. If you think that mental illness is something people deserve because of their sin or that mental illness is a demon, you need to read this.

If you live with mental illness and have already deconstructed the harmful beliefs of the church, this book is too simple for you. At times it doesn't go into enough detail, and at other times she spends too much time talking about something that isn't relevant or important.

Overall, I wish this book has more to offer. I understand and see how it can be helpful as an introductory text for someone who has never thought through these things, but we don't really need any more books like that.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

An acquaintance I respect quite a lot wrote this book and offered me an advance copy in exchange for a honest review. Take my rating with a grain of salt, because I am *not quite* the intended audience. I grew up Catholic and raised my daughters Unitarian Universalist, but have not spent much time in any congregation for about 8 years. So I translated a lot of the "We know..." lines and other God talk and Hebrew scripture quotes (I see that God character as a mishmash of gods of those ancient cultures) into phrases more palatable to me. I also read many of her dichotomies from the lens of my own theoretical and theological framework as this made them seem less potentially contradictory to me. For example, an early chapter suggests the epidemics of despair in the US stem at least in part from a focus on extrinsic goals, while a later chapter talks about a family giving up on inviting fellow congregants to lunch because they received too few reciprocal invitations (enjoying the pleasure of company would be the intrinsic reward)--and the author sums it up that being in community requires work from all. The framework of A Course of Love would take care of so many apparent dichotomies, like Relationship & Unity; Giving is Receiving (intrinsic--of course it was a family with challenges inviting and not being invited, perhaps the pastor could help with the social status of the giving economy there... from subsequent chapter... ), etc.

Better than unresolved dichotomies, the book does offer some helpful distinctions like between feelings and situations, individual responsibility versus response to social constructs, while elsewhere lumping together things that I find very different. For example, the book treats neurodiversity and specific learning differences as mental health challenges, when I see them differing. For example, neurodiversity is lifelong (not episodic or seasonal or ebbing and flowing as mental health challenges can sometimes (often?) be) and doesn't necessarily cause suffering on its own, apart from trying to conform to neurotypicals, which may be why diagnoses of [co-morbid --though often not acknowledged as such] mental health issues are often ascribed to neurodivergent folks. Specific learning differences may or may not impede one's functioning after formal school expectations leave the everyday experience and one is allowed to direct one's own learning.

Overall, I regarded this book as important information from an important perspective--combination thoughtful essay and vulnerable memoir, exhorting people to *include everyone,* reminding readers that *every person is alive because they have gifts and value* (she writes of the humility of being limited, which I think could also be seen in a more unified framework like: of course, if you have certain gifts you are limited by not having other ones--every characteristic could also be seen as a limitation), and that *extending friendship helps whereas excluding worsens mental health*. You don't need to be a mental health professional; much of the time mental health conditions do not really interfere with your enjoyment of a person or with their day-to-day life (well, as long as they wake up wanting to be alive). I have seen a topic she alludes to as congregants "tyrannizing" one another, promoting over-scrupulosity, and I wonder: if the author had explored more of that, would it have shed some light on white culture that comes across as white supremacy culture. Given that she's writing from life in Maine, the whitest state in the US, it might be hard to see that white people could feel better without the tyrannizing, over-scrupulous, perfectionist aspects of white culture too.

If you have limited time, the Afterword might be all you need. The Resources section is helpful too. If you ARE QUITE the intended audience, the chapters have a helpful structure of laying out a question on a topic, followed by small beginnings, challenges you may face, and the good news (gains from addressing it).

[Ma]

When I was offered a review copy of this book by a friend of the author, I jumped at the chance. I have friends with mental illness diagnoses and have been very frustrated with how the church has treated them. In my experience, congregants tend to take a “blame the victim” approach to mental illnesses. It’s just not helpful. Ms. Byron has written a very practical guide for lay Christians wanting to help those dealing with mental illness. I will be recommending it to my friends.