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Spilt Milk
Courtney Zoffness és una figura emergent de la no-ficció nord-americana. És escriptora, mare, filla, amiga i dona. I aquestes són les mirades que l’autora projecta sobre el món, amb les quals pren el pols del nostre temps.
L’afició del seu fill per les disfresses de policia la porten a parlar de la brutalitat policial. Els quadres d’ansietat que patia de nena la porten a parlar de l’angoixa i la por sobre les quals s’alça la societat nord-americana. L’experiència d’una amiga, sobre les raons profundes d’una gestant subrogada. Les situacions en què s’ha sentit vulnerable i violentada com a dona, sobre el masclisme i l’abús.
Què hem heretat de les generacions anteriors biològicament, culturalment i espiritualment parlant? Què donarem en herència als que vindran? Fins a quin punt la realitat que ens envolta, el passat dels nostres pares, el pes de la cultura, es filtren en la part més íntima de la nostra existència?
Sortir de mare és un exercici d’introspecció que il·lumina amb mirada lúcida i intel·ligent el món que ens envolta. La literatura de Courtney Zoffness és magnètica. Abraça, xiuxiueja i bressola.
L’afició del seu fill per les disfresses de policia la porten a parlar de la brutalitat policial. Els quadres d’ansietat que patia de nena la porten a parlar de l’angoixa i la por sobre les quals s’alça la societat nord-americana. L’experiència d’una amiga, sobre les raons profundes d’una gestant subrogada. Les situacions en què s’ha sentit vulnerable i violentada com a dona, sobre el masclisme i l’abús.
Què hem heretat de les generacions anteriors biològicament, culturalment i espiritualment parlant? Què donarem en herència als que vindran? Fins a quin punt la realitat que ens envolta, el passat dels nostres pares, el pes de la cultura, es filtren en la part més íntima de la nostra existència?
Sortir de mare és un exercici d’introspecció que il·lumina amb mirada lúcida i intel·ligent el món que ens envolta. La literatura de Courtney Zoffness és magnètica. Abraça, xiuxiueja i bressola.
144 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2021
42 people are currently reading
1803 people want to read
About the author
Courtney Zoffness
3 books46 followersCourtney Zoffness's critically acclaimed debut, SPILT MILK, was named a best debut of the year by BookPage and Refinery29, and a “must-read” by Publishers Weekly and Good Morning America. She won the Sunday Times Short Story Award, an Emerging Writer Fellowship from The Center for Fiction, and two artist residencies from MacDowell. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, the Paris Review, Guernica, and elsewhere. She directs the Creative Writing Program at Drew University.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 95 reviews
March 17, 2021
Audiobook...read by the author Courtney Zoffness
4 hours and 41minutes
“Split Milk”, is a literary debut memoir ...
collective essays that seamlessly flow from one story to the next.
From the start, I was pulled in.
My emotions started spinning immediately.
feelings of anger and sadness — were mixed —
then.....
At one point I was OUTRAGED ... if I’m being honest....
squeamishness set in.
A few descriptions made me feel sick to my stomach.
I literally felt on the edge of tears; and was angrily disgusted at times.....
yet I couldn’t help experience the book’s poignancy.
It was so gripping... almost ‘too’ real at times....raw... (and I mean ‘raw’)...
It’s definitely personal & intimate...pointing fingers at truthfulness.
I reflected on just how darn scary realism is.
“Split Milk” is downright insanely-brilliant.
This is not your average parenting book - but it’s sure valuable as one.
This is not your average painful/joyful book either...
but it sure is!
This is not your average trip down memory lane of one’s childhood - while observing your first born daughter manifesting so many of the same things you did....
Nor... is it an average look at sexual inappropriate advances....
Nor... is “Split Milk” your average look at the Judaism, and faith in general.
At times Courtney shared bizarre, funny tales about how being Jewish - not particularly religious- fits in with daily life.
Jewish Mitzvah took on a whole new meaning.
Nothing is ‘business as usual’.
Every familiar topic covered is just a little more offbeat,
just a little deeper,
just a little more insightful, than most books that explore
surrogacy, motherhood, parenthood, privileges, faith, organized religion, racial justice, political climate, and self awareness.....
all in a 4 hour and 41 minute audiobook?/!!!
“There’s a natural instinct to tell tales of one’s children. But writing about one’s own mother can be fraught. We love our mothers, and we have deep conflicts with them. We feel protective but need to assert our truth”.
Courtney Zoffness relived her childhood anxiety disorder.
She examined past generations (spiritually, emotionally, biologically, and culturally) — just as the blurb says..... ( with a fine observant eye).
Courtney looks at what we inherit and what we pass on.
‘Split Milk’ also invites us to think about the stories we tell.
Do they become the person we are? And how might we responsibility raise moral, thoughtful, well adjusted, healthy, happy children/ adults in the future.
Terrific book.
Gotta love our human flaws and heartbreaks - don’t we?
It’s written with fierce boldness, empathy, and love.
There is much to like about Courtney Zoffness... as a writer, and person.
Even her name has a dazzling swaggering sound.
4 hours and 41minutes
“Split Milk”, is a literary debut memoir ...
collective essays that seamlessly flow from one story to the next.
From the start, I was pulled in.
My emotions started spinning immediately.
feelings of anger and sadness — were mixed —
then.....
At one point I was OUTRAGED ... if I’m being honest....
squeamishness set in.
A few descriptions made me feel sick to my stomach.
I literally felt on the edge of tears; and was angrily disgusted at times.....
yet I couldn’t help experience the book’s poignancy.
It was so gripping... almost ‘too’ real at times....raw... (and I mean ‘raw’)...
It’s definitely personal & intimate...pointing fingers at truthfulness.
I reflected on just how darn scary realism is.
“Split Milk” is downright insanely-brilliant.
This is not your average parenting book - but it’s sure valuable as one.
This is not your average painful/joyful book either...
but it sure is!
This is not your average trip down memory lane of one’s childhood - while observing your first born daughter manifesting so many of the same things you did....
Nor... is it an average look at sexual inappropriate advances....
Nor... is “Split Milk” your average look at the Judaism, and faith in general.
At times Courtney shared bizarre, funny tales about how being Jewish - not particularly religious- fits in with daily life.
Jewish Mitzvah took on a whole new meaning.
Nothing is ‘business as usual’.
Every familiar topic covered is just a little more offbeat,
just a little deeper,
just a little more insightful, than most books that explore
surrogacy, motherhood, parenthood, privileges, faith, organized religion, racial justice, political climate, and self awareness.....
all in a 4 hour and 41 minute audiobook?/!!!
“There’s a natural instinct to tell tales of one’s children. But writing about one’s own mother can be fraught. We love our mothers, and we have deep conflicts with them. We feel protective but need to assert our truth”.
Courtney Zoffness relived her childhood anxiety disorder.
She examined past generations (spiritually, emotionally, biologically, and culturally) — just as the blurb says..... ( with a fine observant eye).
Courtney looks at what we inherit and what we pass on.
‘Split Milk’ also invites us to think about the stories we tell.
Do they become the person we are? And how might we responsibility raise moral, thoughtful, well adjusted, healthy, happy children/ adults in the future.
Terrific book.
Gotta love our human flaws and heartbreaks - don’t we?
It’s written with fierce boldness, empathy, and love.
There is much to like about Courtney Zoffness... as a writer, and person.
Even her name has a dazzling swaggering sound.
May 12, 2021
3.5
I received this book as the May read for The Nervous Breakdown Book Club. It’s subtitled “memoirs,” but I think it’s more a collection of personal essays than it is memoir(s), not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The most effective of the pieces for me was the chapter titled “Trespass” (called “Spilt Milk” in an earlier version published in the Paris Review Daily). Its story brings together the occupation the writer has at the time, her job of taking care of her infant son’s needs, and issues involving her own anxious mother. The latter were brought up in an earlier essay with the idea that she not only has some of the same anxiety issues as her parents, but her fear that she has passed them on to her oldest son, despite her best efforts.
Zoffness’s mother seems like a fascinating person and I’d love to know more about her, but her identity, even though she’s described as a former singer in a folk-rock band in the sixties who hung out with Jimi Hendrix, is protected. Other essays concern the author, as a ghostwriter, interviewing a man who’s originally from Aleppo, and her younger son’s role-playing as a police officer. The topics are of this time and, especially as regards to parenting, universal.
I received this book as the May read for The Nervous Breakdown Book Club. It’s subtitled “memoirs,” but I think it’s more a collection of personal essays than it is memoir(s), not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The most effective of the pieces for me was the chapter titled “Trespass” (called “Spilt Milk” in an earlier version published in the Paris Review Daily). Its story brings together the occupation the writer has at the time, her job of taking care of her infant son’s needs, and issues involving her own anxious mother. The latter were brought up in an earlier essay with the idea that she not only has some of the same anxiety issues as her parents, but her fear that she has passed them on to her oldest son, despite her best efforts.
Zoffness’s mother seems like a fascinating person and I’d love to know more about her, but her identity, even though she’s described as a former singer in a folk-rock band in the sixties who hung out with Jimi Hendrix, is protected. Other essays concern the author, as a ghostwriter, interviewing a man who’s originally from Aleppo, and her younger son’s role-playing as a police officer. The topics are of this time and, especially as regards to parenting, universal.
June 10, 2021
Essay collections are not my favorite thing to read. I never did connect with this author. I appreciate she wanted to explain her life and views and struggles but felt she was trying too hard somehow.
March 9, 2021
Spilt Milk is really a bunch of memoirs instead of just one, which is innovative because of how the book was divided into sections. This book is about what we inherit from past generations and what we pass on to our children—not just biologically but also culturally, historically, and spiritually. The author shows that understanding of passing things on from a few different angles.
There is a section called "Hot for Teacher" about a student who expresses his desire to have his way with the author and how she handled that situation in relation to the inappropriate sexualization of women. Another interesting part of the book was thinking about how your older son had more anxiety about your younger son about going to school. One of the questions she pokes at in this book is how much influence parents have on their children.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cou...
There is a section called "Hot for Teacher" about a student who expresses his desire to have his way with the author and how she handled that situation in relation to the inappropriate sexualization of women. Another interesting part of the book was thinking about how your older son had more anxiety about your younger son about going to school. One of the questions she pokes at in this book is how much influence parents have on their children.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cou...
January 25, 2021
Ah! Such a smart book about the giant smallness that is a working mother's life. The intimate micro-moments and the biggest questions, all taking place in the same day part. I especially liked that these essays deal with both political and spiritual/religious questions which many essay collections didn't get into. The essays that delved into Zoffness' relationship with her opaque and challenging mother were especially moving. Can't wait to read more from this writer!
December 30, 2020
Zoffness is a lyrical genius who writes magical, musical prose. The ending of each essay will give you chills. The cadence of the language will mesmerize you. The sensory, cinematic descriptions will stay with you for days. You will audibly laugh at Zoffness’ masterful moments of wit on one page, then on the next page feel your throat sting with sadness. A must-read collection that helps us breathe through today’s terrifying times.
November 10, 2021
Spilt-Milk Memoirs
Courtney Zoftness
Simply put, this is a collection of short stories or essays that are designed to tell the story of the author. I don't care for short essay writing, so that was a swing and a miss right off for me. After that, I just had a difficult time connecting to any of the work or characters. It felt and read in a disjointed way for me.
Not my cup of tea.
2.5 stars rounded to 3
Happy Reading!
Courtney Zoftness
Simply put, this is a collection of short stories or essays that are designed to tell the story of the author. I don't care for short essay writing, so that was a swing and a miss right off for me. After that, I just had a difficult time connecting to any of the work or characters. It felt and read in a disjointed way for me.
Not my cup of tea.
2.5 stars rounded to 3
Happy Reading!
March 5, 2022
Very strong collection of essays/"memoirs" that varied in style and tone but all relate to her relationship with her mother, her children, and motherhood in general. The one in which she explores her friend's surrogacy in the context of Judaism and the ritual, cleansing mikvah was particularly good.
December 15, 2023
little to no personal impact to me
March 10, 2021
Such an insightful and thought-provoking collection of essays dealing with the complexities of raising children, self-perception and self-doubt both as a child and as an adult, and the effects of ones own upbringing. Courtney Zoffness writes with honesty and seriousness and just enough of a rhythm to keep the memoirs swiftly moving. I'm looking forward to an upcoming book discussion with the author!
January 4, 2021
I am by no means a quick reader, but I devoured this collection. Each essay has such a distinct voice, setting, and set of sensory images; I was transported. There are so many beautiful turns in here as well, and the endings were hard to get out of my mind. Special shoutout to "Holy Body" and "Trespass" in particular; those two are really sticking with me, and I imagine they will be for a while.
March 7, 2021
I couldn’t put this book down. So beautifully and expressively written, with each separate essay perfectly layering over the one before it. The only downside about Spilt Milk was that eventually it had to end. Highly, highly recommended.
March 10, 2021
I adore books by/about anxiety-ridden mothers of small children. These women are my people. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I feel seen. Zoffness writes so eloquently, but in a way that's accessible to even the most harried of mothers. Her stories offer some sense of reassurance that in the midst of our lonely, isolating struggles to do right by our children, we are not alone. She reminds us that at some point, we can finally reclaim our bodies as our own and that the transition will give us a sense of relief, but also a sense of nostalgic mourning.
Zoffness explores the roots of her anxiety, touching on the notion that traumatic incidents should, in theory, be all-consuming. And yet, looking back, they are a mere blip on the radar, often because we are steeped in self doubt and there's no time to grieve for our past selves. Zoffness describes her own traumatic incidents with an intentional casualness, often describing them in one short paragraph. It serves to emphasize the fact that women are subjected to countless offenses, and expected to pull it together and stay composed. Memories of my own past flooded forth - incidents that could have (and perhaps should have) derailed me. But as a woman, I'm expected to relegate them to a few short sentences in my metaphorical autobiography, despite how much they actually affected me. And then there's the creeping self-doubt, a result of other people diminishing what feels, to me, like trauma. Zoffness writes, "Neither of my parents remembers me being so anxious. My memories surprise them. Confuse them. 'Are you sure?' they say." I felt that. Minimization by the people in my life makes me question the seriousness of incidents in my past that, objectively and rationally, I know were traumatic. Zoffness describes this thought process perfectly. "Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I'd misremembered - dismissive tendencies that, I see now, encourage rapacious behavior."
One essay stood out to me for different reasons. She writes about how her son went through a phase of idolizing law enforcement - dressing like them, engaging in dramatic play, and even touring a precinct. She struggles with his naivete, knowing he is still just a child.
She describes the way she explained her own criminal past to her son in such a simple, straightforward way. And yet, there is profundity in the simplicity. She was caught shoplifting $196 worth of clothes. Since the officer assumed she was from a "good family" he recommended her for a first time offender program, for which she paid $100 cost of prosecution - because she could afford it. She donated $196 of clothes to children in foster care - because she could afford it. She had her record expunged - because she could afford it. And she listed the community service hours she completed as a term of her diversion program on her Ivy League college application, right after checking the box that she had never been convicted of a crime. I just...wow. Like I said - stunning in its simplicity.
Sigh. Just read it.
Zoffness explores the roots of her anxiety, touching on the notion that traumatic incidents should, in theory, be all-consuming. And yet, looking back, they are a mere blip on the radar, often because we are steeped in self doubt and there's no time to grieve for our past selves. Zoffness describes her own traumatic incidents with an intentional casualness, often describing them in one short paragraph. It serves to emphasize the fact that women are subjected to countless offenses, and expected to pull it together and stay composed. Memories of my own past flooded forth - incidents that could have (and perhaps should have) derailed me. But as a woman, I'm expected to relegate them to a few short sentences in my metaphorical autobiography, despite how much they actually affected me. And then there's the creeping self-doubt, a result of other people diminishing what feels, to me, like trauma. Zoffness writes, "Neither of my parents remembers me being so anxious. My memories surprise them. Confuse them. 'Are you sure?' they say." I felt that. Minimization by the people in my life makes me question the seriousness of incidents in my past that, objectively and rationally, I know were traumatic. Zoffness describes this thought process perfectly. "Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I'd misremembered - dismissive tendencies that, I see now, encourage rapacious behavior."
One essay stood out to me for different reasons. She writes about how her son went through a phase of idolizing law enforcement - dressing like them, engaging in dramatic play, and even touring a precinct. She struggles with his naivete, knowing he is still just a child.
She describes the way she explained her own criminal past to her son in such a simple, straightforward way. And yet, there is profundity in the simplicity. She was caught shoplifting $196 worth of clothes. Since the officer assumed she was from a "good family" he recommended her for a first time offender program, for which she paid $100 cost of prosecution - because she could afford it. She donated $196 of clothes to children in foster care - because she could afford it. She had her record expunged - because she could afford it. And she listed the community service hours she completed as a term of her diversion program on her Ivy League college application, right after checking the box that she had never been convicted of a crime. I just...wow. Like I said - stunning in its simplicity.
Sigh. Just read it.
August 7, 2021
I love reading memoirs by ordinary people with ordinary problems, especially when they are as well-written as this collection of essays in which anxiety-prone working mother Zoffness elaborates on some of the many questions that have kept her awake at night. My favorite among them is "Ultra Sound," in which, with great sensitivity and due respect for her subject matter, she describes the surprising discovery she makes as a grown-up that helps her understand why, when she was a child, her mother had never struck her as the happiest and most-fulfilled of stay-at-home caregivers. That said, having learned something new from each of the luminous and illuminating pieces she has crafted for this thought-provoker, I hope Zoffness takes to heart the reassurance she tells of her psychologist giving to her on the book's last page that her writing has genuine purpose and meaning. Insisting that as a writer she is as much a healer as the Dalai Lama is, Dr. S. helps alleviate at least some of Zoffness' fears that her life is not as significant as it should be with the observation that "Practitioners of the aesthetic arts connect us to one another and offer a context for pain." That is something that has never occurred to Zoffness. But, as she says in her final paragraph: "I want to tell you I believe her. I want to. I do."
March 12, 2021
Both intermarried, but only one’s spouse converted. Both struggled with the religious aspects of Judaism, yet one felt strong enough about Zionism to make aliyah. Each became a writer, although their paths to being published greatly differed. Courtney Zoffness, who has won awards for her fiction and nonfiction, uses the essay format to explore her life in “Spilt Milk” (McSweeney’s), while Aaron Leibel, who won two Rockower Awards for Excellence (2018 and 2019) from the American Jewish Press Association, offers a more traditional memoir format in “Figs and Alligators: An American Immigrant’s Life in Israel in the 1970s and 1980s” (Chickadee Prince Books).
See the rest of my review at https://www.thereportergroup.org/past...
See the rest of my review at https://www.thereportergroup.org/past...
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January 28, 2024A partir de les seves vivències personals, l'autora aprofitar per desembolicar la troca i anar reflexionant sobre què li passa. Sembla fàcil, però s'ha de tenir gràcia per anar lligant-ho tot bé i no semblar una barrabassada inconnexa. I Zoffness ho fa bé. Si bé és cert que no hi ha un fil conductor en tot el llibre i cada capítol toca un pal diferent, n'hi ha que m'han agradat més (el de la seva ansietat i la del fill, el de l'amiga gestant subrogada i el del fill que vol ser policia) i d'altres que no tant, però no deixa de ser una lectura plaent i reflexiva a la vegada.
March 16, 2021
The best book I've read this year! Short and relatable stories about topics ranging from anxiety to unwanted sexual advances to the Trump presidency to the murder of George Floyd. It was so so good. So relevant, and I feel like I'm finally able to read about the past few years now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone should read this!
July 7, 2021
Interesting, insightful, thought-provoking, beautifully written collection of ten essays - many centered on motherhood and/or Jewish rites, rituals and identity. The audio book was narrated by the author which made them feel that much more personal but I would love to go back and re-read several of them more closely. They beg to be discussed.
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October 10, 2022Not for me but I did really enjoy the author’s writing style and the format of this book.
March 28, 2021
This book is really beautiful, polished writing with a nurturing tone. Motherhood, Judaism, coming of age, police brutality, and other themes & stories.
March 13, 2021
A beautiful, honest portrayal of motherhood.
April 5, 2022
there are some bright moments in this collection of memoir/essays, particularly the essay about surrogacy, but somehow the style always felt too mannered and the structure too writerly. because each of these stories is a memoir they often fold in on each other, which makes for a neat doubling and allows us to get to now the author beyond what she's written because these doubled moments are ones that were important enough to write TWICE. zoffness writes with a poetic style, with most of the juice coming from the style and structure of each essay, which breaks paragraphs frequently to weave disparate stories together in a way that sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I liked this book just find, but it didn't really move me. that's ok though.
March 5, 2021
This book is so beautiful. I especially appreciated the little moments described here and the way the author linked them to bigger topics. She's clearly someone who is curious about herself and those closest to her but also about far ranging topics that seem to fall into her life from all directions. It is a quick, captivating read with lingering language and imagery. I loved it!
December 6, 2025
An incredible collection of essays exploring themes of motherhood, anxiety, generational wounds/ patterns, exploring religious belief systems.
Holy Body and Trespass were essays that really stood out, but the whole book will be one I remember
Holy Body and Trespass were essays that really stood out, but the whole book will be one I remember
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June 19, 2021In her literary debut, internationally award-winning writer Courtney Zoffness considers what we inherit from generations past―biologically, culturally, spiritually―and what we pass on to our children. Spilt Milk is an intimate, bracing, and beautiful exploration of vulnerability and culpability. Zoffness relives her childhood anxiety disorder as she witnesses it manifest in her firstborn; endures brazen sexual advances by a student in her class; grapples with the implications of her young son’s cop obsession; and challenges her Jewish faith.
February 3, 2022
4.5
I was drawn to the audio version of this book because I am always eager to hear writers reading their own work. In this case, however, I was happy to also have a printed copy from the library because these memoir/essays are so well crafted, that they really deserve to be quietly savored and reread. To me, these were lessons in good writing, they made me wish I could immediately sign up for a writing workshop with Courtney Zoffness.
I was drawn to the audio version of this book because I am always eager to hear writers reading their own work. In this case, however, I was happy to also have a printed copy from the library because these memoir/essays are so well crafted, that they really deserve to be quietly savored and reread. To me, these were lessons in good writing, they made me wish I could immediately sign up for a writing workshop with Courtney Zoffness.
August 15, 2021
This book is a collection of short memoirs that weave between the author's experience as a parent, a child, a teen, a daughter, and a childless adult. While I found many observations in this book relatable, the essays have a heavy focus on Jewish themes and I do not have a lived experience to experience the book through that lens.
“Holy Body” is an essay where Zoffness describes infertility and surrogacy from A Jewish perspective. This essay is divided into seven sections and I after googling the Hebrew titles of the sections, I learned that the seven sections of this this essay represent the seven Hebrew meditations connected to the Mikveh - which according to google is a " bath used for the purpose of ritual immersion in Judaism to achieve ritual purity". She relates this ritual to fertility and infertility.
“The Only Thing We Have to Fear,” is the essay I related to most. She discusses anxiety of her son - she thinks about her own anxiety. She wonders if she is making things worse.
“I want to put my son at ease,” she writes after anxiety attack, “to talk about his
behavior. On the flip side, I don’t want to make too big a deal of his sensitivities, don’t want him
to worry about his worry.” “[He] can’t breathe. These are the words he uses.”
When I finished this book, I thought it was brilliant that she started with her son’s anxiety and ended the book with a description of her mother’s anxious tendencies. This made me think about anxiety through generations.
The writing is 5 quality but joy plays a role in my personal rating system.
Zoffness is a brilliant writer and I enjoyed parts of this book but I did not find joy in all of it as a whole which is why I gave it a 4 /5.
“Holy Body” is an essay where Zoffness describes infertility and surrogacy from A Jewish perspective. This essay is divided into seven sections and I after googling the Hebrew titles of the sections, I learned that the seven sections of this this essay represent the seven Hebrew meditations connected to the Mikveh - which according to google is a " bath used for the purpose of ritual immersion in Judaism to achieve ritual purity". She relates this ritual to fertility and infertility.
“The Only Thing We Have to Fear,” is the essay I related to most. She discusses anxiety of her son - she thinks about her own anxiety. She wonders if she is making things worse.
“I want to put my son at ease,” she writes after anxiety attack, “to talk about his
behavior. On the flip side, I don’t want to make too big a deal of his sensitivities, don’t want him
to worry about his worry.” “[He] can’t breathe. These are the words he uses.”
When I finished this book, I thought it was brilliant that she started with her son’s anxiety and ended the book with a description of her mother’s anxious tendencies. This made me think about anxiety through generations.
The writing is 5 quality but joy plays a role in my personal rating system.
Zoffness is a brilliant writer and I enjoyed parts of this book but I did not find joy in all of it as a whole which is why I gave it a 4 /5.
October 12, 2023
Un dels meus plans preferits es començar un llibre un dia festiu, i poder-lo gaudir amb calma al llarg del dia. I si l'acabo el mateix dia, es una senyal que el llibre s'ho val i això m'ha passat amb aquest.
Es tracta de "Sortir de mare" de Courtney Zoffness amb la traducció al català de la Núria Busquet Molist i editat per "la segona periferia"
La Courtney és escriptora, filla, mare i dona, i en aquest llibre és recullen les seves reflexions més sinceres, punyents i també emotives de la realitat que l'envolta. Ens parla de la seva vida, de la relació amb la seva mare que ha estat una figura present que no propera a ella, de la seva identitat jueva per herència i del paper de la comunitat jueva ( malauradament massa vigent ara mateix), de la maternitat viscuda amb desig i també amb por, de la controvèrsia que genera la maternitat subrogada (molt interessant tot aquest capítol), de la violència i la vulnerabilitat que ha patit com a dona, de la por dins de la societat americana... del que som per herència i del que som per aprenentatge ... 💜
En fi, un llibre que et remou, que et fa pensar, que t'acompanya i
que dona per unes quantes converses d'aquelles llargues i profitoses de les que m'agraden.
Es tracta de "Sortir de mare" de Courtney Zoffness amb la traducció al català de la Núria Busquet Molist i editat per "la segona periferia"
La Courtney és escriptora, filla, mare i dona, i en aquest llibre és recullen les seves reflexions més sinceres, punyents i també emotives de la realitat que l'envolta. Ens parla de la seva vida, de la relació amb la seva mare que ha estat una figura present que no propera a ella, de la seva identitat jueva per herència i del paper de la comunitat jueva ( malauradament massa vigent ara mateix), de la maternitat viscuda amb desig i també amb por, de la controvèrsia que genera la maternitat subrogada (molt interessant tot aquest capítol), de la violència i la vulnerabilitat que ha patit com a dona, de la por dins de la societat americana... del que som per herència i del que som per aprenentatge ... 💜
En fi, un llibre que et remou, que et fa pensar, que t'acompanya i
que dona per unes quantes converses d'aquelles llargues i profitoses de les que m'agraden.
May 9, 2021
This was the perfect book to listen on while on a mother's day hike with my family (we get on best when we ignore each other, so everyone listens to their own thing..... books, music, podcasts..... and then we talk to each other on the breaks), as it's an incredibly astute portrayal of motherhood, family dynamics, inherited traits and anxieties, faith, a fraught relationship with one's mother and much more. It's almost a collection of essays, all of them memoirs, that give you an insight into the heart and soul of this incredibly gifted writer, and many times I was nodding in agreement or feeling upset on the author's behalf.
Incidentally, this is the first book I have read that mentions Covid and George Floyd/BLM, where it doesn't rub me the wrong way, probably because it's just mentioned and not laboured in any way.
Courtney Zoffness writes beautifully - I listened to the audio book (narration is done by the author herself), but I may buy the hard copy to reread and underline some of her observations. Hard to believe this is her literary debut, it is so polished. Highly recommend it.
Incidentally, this is the first book I have read that mentions Covid and George Floyd/BLM, where it doesn't rub me the wrong way, probably because it's just mentioned and not laboured in any way.
Courtney Zoffness writes beautifully - I listened to the audio book (narration is done by the author herself), but I may buy the hard copy to reread and underline some of her observations. Hard to believe this is her literary debut, it is so polished. Highly recommend it.
June 5, 2021
Wonderfully-written memoir-essays -- so much truth-telling they frequently made me uncomfortable. The first -- about anxiety and fear passed down through the generations, and the manifestations in her child. Made me squirm. Similarly the next -- all the multiple micro-aggressions she's experienced as a girl and woman -- again so real and granular it made me uncomfortable, made me re-experience all the discomforts of those experiences. And the bat mitzvah one, bringing alive all the dreadful awkwardness of middle-school existence! Yikes. Squirm-worthy. Not a bad thing, mind you, but really reaching in and touching a nerve in each of these essays.
I was bothered by a couple....Most especially the one about her young son's fascination/ obsession with policing, catching the "bad guys"(pretend-using guns and pepper spray and vicious dogs), noticing the bad guys at the local police station are mostly brown people. And her wondering when he will be old enough to be burdened with knowledge of racism and white privilege. NOW, I want to scream! If Black children are old enough to experience it, your child is old enough to learn about it, must learn about it. Start now!
I was bothered by a couple....Most especially the one about her young son's fascination/ obsession with policing, catching the "bad guys"(pretend-using guns and pepper spray and vicious dogs), noticing the bad guys at the local police station are mostly brown people. And her wondering when he will be old enough to be burdened with knowledge of racism and white privilege. NOW, I want to scream! If Black children are old enough to experience it, your child is old enough to learn about it, must learn about it. Start now!
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