Terry Tempest Williams held the release event for this book in the small theatre in Moab.
There was a reception beforehand - my mother worked in the Park Service and was a special guest. I knew the bookstore owner who had helped Terry write the book - his elderly father is my neighbor. My sister and I shovel his driveway in the winter. He invited me to go to the invite-only reception when I came into his bookstore asking for a ticket to the release event.
There was a special, one-of-a-kind binding made for Terry by Andy - the bookstore owner - and some artisans who were his friends and Terry's. It was a surprise gift. Each sheet of paper pressed by hand. It was thick and ivory and the words were pressed into it like engravings on stone. The cover was polished walnut, smooth with oil, the title page rough-pulped sage paper with the imprints of leaves, and the book itself it held several chapters with pictures from local photographers, which had not survived the publisher's shears in the journey from manuscript to final printing. Terry, dressed in a long linen robe and scarf despite the 108 degree evening heat, wept at the presentation of such a gift. At one point Bruce Hucko, a friend of mine and one of the photographers, gave me the book, and I was terrified I would drop the jewel in my hands, conscious of the oils on my fingertips, afraid I would leave smudges on the unmarked walnut cover. Mom introduced me to Terry - whose works I read when I am at school in a dirty, crowded city a universe away from the desert to keep the red rocks warm in my soul - and I gave her back the book. I wondered what it must be like to be handed the work of your own mind enclosed within the work of someone else's hands. I stammered, and Terry was kind when she signed my own mass-market copy.
At the release event, with every seat full in the old theatre, Terry read passages from her book. She had a microphone, but her soft, commanding voice carried well without its amplification. Her audience was silent, their attention was rapt. I could not tell where the passages of her book ended and her unscripted meditations began, so clear was her voice in her writings, and so articulate was the writer behind it.
She paused at one point, remarking how in San Juan County to the south of us, opposition to the proposed Bears Ears National Monument was so vehement that flyers were appearing in windows everywhere saying, "Backpacker Open Season" which displayed a target superimposed over the silhouette of a hiker. It was unsaid and universally known that the people who made those flyers were less than half-joking. I recalled my backpacking trips, both solo and with my mother, and the time when I was a little girl that someone sent dismembered animal parts to my mother in retaliation for her work enforcing grazing limits on public lands.
Terry then went on to describe the joys of seeing Dead Horse Point State Park, Canyonlands National Park, and Natural Bridges National Monument given the prestigious Dark Sky designation in recognition of their preservation of Earth's scarcest and most delicate non-renewable resource. She talked about the victory of the local Park Service office in shutting down oil leases that would have put oil wells in the middle of the magisterial vistas that roll from horizon to horizon in Arches and Canyonlands National Park, how one park superintendent was arguing to the BLM that the national parks deal in vistas, not just earth, that the sky and air is as important as the rocks. I could see my mother smile at the subtle praise of the monumental endeavor that had been keeping her at the office for sixty-hour weeks over the last eighteen months.
Then Terry called my mother out by name and asked her to stand, and she said, "Thank you for the work you do to protect these sacred spaces. I honor you."
Every person in that theatre stood to give my mother what was likely the first and last round of applause she ever had received in more than 30 years working and fighting for the National Park Service.
And then Terry asked everyone under the age of 25 to stand, and for a moment, I stood next to my mother in a rare moment of equality. Terry said, "To the next generation, we apologize for our mistakes, and we honor you for your vitality, and your integrity, and your strength, because it is you who will shape the future. For this, we honor you."
I could feel the tears in my eyes at the coming-together, the stitching of many pieces, that was happening in that room, where everyone's eyes looked at me and at each other with a sort of clarity that recognized one another both for our past and for our potential, understanding the heavy, seemingly hopeless burden of environmentalism and conservation in the 21st century, but bright with the determination and will to forge change.
And this was the atmosphere Terry crafts in her book. Somehow, in her writings, there is a seamless unity between old and new, the imperfect past and complicated present of a National Park Service that is both her greatest joy and her greatest pain. She invites us into the beautiful places of the world, places where we confront our own pain, where we are forced to recognize and reckon with the pain of others, and with the devastating future of our own world. We walk with her through it all, together. Wondering.
"Prayers have to be walked, not just talked."
The wilderness is in peril. Ice melts, and so beetles survive to dig deep into trees and kill them which gives fuel to the massive violent fires that rage across the drought-stricken West because of the warming temperatures that caused the ice to melt and because of state lines drawn heedless of watersheds and millions of people raised to believe that the West can be irrigated and they can have lawns and sprinklers and golf courses and fracking, and all through the landscape at the legal borders of the scenic vistas the wildfires obscure with their smoke lie oil and gas wells whose emissions and product caused the warming in the first place.
Oil washes up on our shores and poisons our food and our skies and our children and our psyches.
Genocide against the people who first inhabited the land, and people who inhabit it now, goes unnoticed, unspoken, ignored.
Earth crumbles under erosion. Streams dry up. Animals are cast aside because they are not "interesting" enough to warrant a place on the Endangered Species List. Humanity calls the shots based on bureaucracy and whim.
"And what is a synonym for wild?"
All this Terry explores candidly. It is, in many ways, a scathing condemnation of the National Park Service. It is a scathing condemnation of the US Government. It is a scathing condemnation of enormous development and petroleum and gas companies.
Above all, it is a scathing condemnation of us. Of you. Of me. Of herself.
And yet.
There is a coming-together-ness in this book. Terry does not soften the blows of reality, but she does not shield us from its joys either.
"...do not fear darkness; it's where one comes alive."
She dives into the darkness to find those moments where the earth comes alive, and we experience it with her. In the despair of the BP oil spill, there are those who fight for transparency and regulation. In Canyonlands there are those who fight the oil leases. In Gates of the Arctic, Terry begins to come to terms with a rift between her and her brother. In Alcatraz, an imprisoned artist from China asks us to listen to the songs of hope and anger and joy from political prisoners around the world.
"Wilderness is an antidote to the war within ourselves."
A 28-year old college student went to jail for 2 years for interrupting a BLM auction of land parcels for development. Native Americans took over Alcatraz after it was abandoned and demanded it be returned to tribal trust.
"Lavender dares to become violet."
A massive wildfire in Glacier National Park, by virtue of a shift in the winds, narrowly misses a historic chalet and the 40 people inside.
"If the world ends, let me be here."
She balances fear with hope, walking with her reader into the depths of despair for our own soul and the soul of our land, and then walks with us to the peaks of joy for all we have been given, spurring us to action and recognition all along the way.
"Have you heard the thrumming of the Earth? It is here."
She spurs us to action, to passion, to rage.
"We forget the place of anger in the work of love."
Her language soars to poetry. She includes the poems and songs and quotations of others. There are letters and emails, songs, photos - a multimedia presentation and a love-letter, love-song, love-story to the world beloved by naturalists, blue-collar men, and weary souls.
She invites us into the magnificent world we occupy, asking us to open our eyes, to see it clearly as we saw one another clearly in that theatre. She asks us to recognize the gifts around us, the gifts of people, of labor, of landscape. She asks us to contemplate the way landscape is erased from our sight (oil wells, virtual tours, souvenirs instead of memories) and from our minds (removed from our dictionaries, soothed into inaction by corporations). She does not ask for action but inspires it, inspires a fierce stewardship of the world.
She dares us to hope.
"We lose nothing by loving."