二哈和他的白猫师尊番外 [Extras]

by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou, 肉包不吃肉

番外（第312-350章）

言简意赅的文案：

我本欲抱师兄归，岂料抱走了……师尊？

400 pages, Webnovel

About the author

Associated Names:
* Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
* 肉包不吃肉 (Chinese Profile)
* โร่วเปาปู้ชือโร่ว (Thai Profile)
* Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (English Profile)

Reviews

[... · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Every time you go to the movie theatre you either choose a comedy or a romance. Listen to this title,” Chu Wanning gritted his teeth, practically crushing the words into powder, “ 'Dumb Husky and his White Cat Shizun'—are you stupid? This is an animation, isn’t it?”

cough cough cough whatever Shizun says

The extras, the extras!!!

312: aka Shizun forgot his disciples haven't even recovered yet from the last time he poisoned them with his tofu~ 5⋆

313-318: The Modern AU got me so!!! Xue Meng teaming up with Aurogon for a mission from Cultivation Bureau. Comedy gold, but also so very cute =^w^= 5⋆

319-321: Mostly hilarious, but the forum format just wasn't for me~ 3⋆

"Husky: QAQ my shizun disappeared, sometime in the past two days… I just saw this thread, I’m currently so scared, I’m losing my mind…
Reply #1: F*ck!!!
Reply #2: My god, could he have turned into a peacock and flown away?!"

322-342: Xue Meng's blind dates had me ROLLING. Truly, it was hysterical. Press F for Xue Meng. He shall never recover. Bonus points for cat!Chu Wanning & "what breed of chicken are you" Jiang Yechen ;; + an absolutely heartbreaking but also very warm Ranwan moment. Meatbun truly likes to stab right in the heart where you least expect it :')

"When he was guarding Wushan Palace he read The Book of Changes and The Book of Songs; he never wanted to see those again. After all, Chu Wanning had returned. If he wanted to see that person write, 'Is my heart not stone, that it can't be turned' with his own hands again and again, he could do that. It was no longer necessary to use those thick books to fish for the fragmented reflections of the beloved deceased, nor was it necessary to hunt down particular phrases that Chu Wanning had himself spoken in the past, in order to feel a momentary fierce joy and sorrow."

5⋆

343-350: TXJ ;; all of them... but txj... QAQ 5⋆

[Maria Drago · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ch. 312
I'm kind of over the whole danmei pairing schtick where one of them can't cook at all and is an absolute menace in the kitchen, to a dangerous extent. Then I mulled it over and thought, No, it's cute. And it fits Chu Wanning, who simply can't successfully do household chores for the life of him.
But THEN I remembered that supposedly he makes the best wontons in the whole world. Yet Mo Ran canonically acknowledges that Chu Wanning's cooking is shit and doesn't want to eat it? BUT ALSO in the novel we see Taxian-jun desperate to eat Chu Wanning's cooking...
Somebody help.
Friends, I do fear that by the end of this, I'm going to like Taxian-jun as a Sukuna-like entity inside Mo Ran. Goddammit. I should've known. I'm weak for evil but (unwillingly) tamed beings inside more upright and innocent characters.
Anyway, idk why it's funny that Xue Meng hides his son from Mo Ran after midnight or whatever to spare him interacting with Taxian-jun LOL
Anyway, the first extra (which is only a SINGLE CHAPTER) is exactly what we should've had at the end of 2ha. Not even just domestic bliss, but knowing what happened after the sudden disappearance of Mo Ran and Chu Wanning.
And I'm still annoyed we didn't get to see the dinner with Xue Meng.

The modern AU was deeply disappointing. It was just some weird virtual reality game Xue Meng plays where he tries to set little Mo Ran up with a girl, but he meets Chu Wanning and they play together instead. And it's mostly just Xue Meng doing incomprehensible office work. However, we do get some cute modern Ranwan towards the end where they're arguing about what movie to watch.

The forum post one could've been pretty funny, but I couldn't tell who the usernames belonged to. "Phoenix's First Cry" is obviously Xue Meng, and "Husky" is definitely Mo Ran, then I realized that "Didn't know Mulan is a girl" is Nangong Si which is truly hilarious XD But the rest, I had no clue.
"Only accepts melatonin as a gift" might be Ye Wangxi just by context, but the username is confusing.
"Money solves all problems" could possibly be Jiang Xi.
"Selling tanghulu in hell" might be Xu Shanglin.
"Blind people depend on tech to go online" must be Shi Mei.
But idk, the rest is mostly just jokes about Jiang Xi? Kinda boring.

As a lover of Xue Meng, I loved the "Xue Meng's Blind Dates" extras. He's always so angry and homophobic <3
I love the fact that the scroll writes the "xue" in Xue Meng's name like the "xue" in Mei Hanxue's name. But also: IF THE AUTHOR WANTED THEM TO BE A PAIRING WHY NOT JUST FJSHDN MAKE IT CANON.
I'm very curious as to why Mei HanXue is dressed as a woman, and also whether or not he recognizes Xue Meng. It doesn't seem so at first, considering he asks Xue Meng questions about where he's from.
Xue Meng unknowingly entering the Red Light District is way too funny. Dude starts ordering some Mo Ran-sized toys and has no idea what he's getting into XD
Xue Meng: I don't want a Mo Ran size. Gimme a Xue Meng size.
Shopkeeper: Um?? Xue Meng isn't on the top 10 list??
Xue Meng: No Xue Ziming?!
Shopkeeper: ??? Why Xue Ziming??
Xue Meng: Why NOT Xue Ziming!!!
OH. OKAY I WAS MISTAKEN. THIS IS NOT MEI HANXUE (I'd seen spoilers about him cross-dressing while fic-hunting so I just assumed). THIS IS XUE MENG'S DAD. OH GOD. OH FUCK. HE WENT ON A DATE WITH HIS DAD. Every time I think Meatbun couldn't possibly surprise me any more, I am so sorely mistaken.
At first I was horrified, but then it turns out to actually be pretty funny.
Then, date number two. Ok, another cold lady. THIS one must be Mei HanXue!
And then halfway through the date, this "lady" says: "bring it to this ven-- to me!" and I immediately knew... dear god... it's Mo Ran! No, worse! It's Taxian-jun! Hahahahaha!!
But ahhhh Xue Meng is so sweet, putting up with a completely batshit crazy lady (who is, need I remind you, actually the PSYCHOTIC VILLAIN TAXIAN-JUN), just because he's worried she'll resort to self-harm if he doesn't help her. Ahh my little Mengmeng <3<3<3<3
Okay, it's kind of hysterical seeing Taxian-jun looking like a woman acting like Mo Ran in super caring, simpering boyfriend mode, towards Xue Meng. This little playacting experiment was too amusing.
Oh my GOD, and then CHU WANNING INTERRUPTS THEIR DATE HAHAHAHAH.
Honestly, at this point, Xue Meng should be irrevocably traumatized from these blind dates and give up the ghost.
NOOOOOO no Taxian-jun assuming Xue Meng has a THING going on with Jiang Xi just because he revealed their (semi) close relationship...
Taxian-jun himself liked an older, frigid man like Chu Wanning, and had pushed himself onto him, si he felt that other men must also have similar tastes. So, instantly his thoughts turned crooked, and he looked at Xue Meng with an entirely new level of respect.
This is insane.
Xue Meng, after having vomited on the face of the beautiful Mei Hanxue, had now vomited on the handsome face of the Butterfly Boned Beauty Feast Emperor of the World, and did so wildly with no reservations.
And this isn't even the wildest thing to happen in this extra, dear gods.
As I suspected, I have become fond of Taxian-jun's utterly insane presence in these extras. He's just so damn funny. It reminds me of reading Bungo Stray Dogs: Beast and watching Akutagawa working with the good guys and trying to be chill while possessing, like, no chill. And Taxian-jun having to work the fields for some money is so like Akutagawa doing farm work with Kenji XD
Anyway, this is actually so damn cute. Seeing Chu Wanning dealing with his rabid little Taxian-jun, who got all drunk of sappy, was an absolute delight.
Oh man oh man oh man. I cannot get over the fact that Mei Hanxue, upon hearing that some girl has to go deal with him to help set him up on a date, immediately took over the situation. "Relax and leave Sect Leader Xue to me. I'll definitely make him happy." Sir???!
Mei Hanxue calls Xue Meng "spicy" by accident. What does this mean. I hope it means what I think it means. Anyway. He confessed. And I don't think he's lying XD Earlier, Xue Meng thought she had a very romantic air and her eyes held something of love.
Me (reading this extra): ... There is no straight explanation for this.
Okay, what?! Mei Hanxue being a confused little foreign boy and struggling to express and articulate himself is ADORABLE WHAT THE HECK. Also, I didn't realize until now that he's a foreigner haha. ALSO also, I didn't know he and Xue Meng were childhood friends!! What the heck!! They're so cute!!!
But anyway, this makes Xue Meng not recognize Mei Hanxue crossing seem so much dumber. But Mei Hanxue himself said he likes Xue Meng because he's dumb! This shit's hysterical.
Then Mei Hanxue proceeds to give Xue Meng sex tips under the guise of learning how to pet an unfriendly cat. And idk but that scene was so chock-full of tension, goddamn.
Just as I started to wonder, Mei Hanxue clearly has a thing for Xue Meng, but what about Mei HanXue? And then we see him get totally jealous with the female cultivator flirting with Xue Meng! Holy. It's not even subtle.
Then, Jiang Xi arrive, and I am once again disturbed by the amount of sexual comments made concerning this father and son duo?? Like, obviously all the other characters in the novel don't know they're closely related, but the readers know, and the AUTHOR knows, so... why??
Eventually, the dating app scroll becomes sentient and starts terrorizing the sects. They can't kill it, lest it spill all their salacious little secrets, so they plan to capture it. Apparently, this thing developed sentience through A) Mei Hanxue's abusing the system, creating too many accounts, and going out with too many women, plus B) Xue Meng's 100+ negative reviews. So the spirit has the qualities of both Xue Meng and Mei Hanxue (although Xue Meng, in all of his glorious naivete and inability to self-reflect, doesn't attribute any negative qualities to his own character), thus everyone decides that it must have the tastes of MHX and XM as well, which they can use to allure and capture the spirit. And oh my god, this would've been a perfect opportunity to just send Xue Meng, as the bait, because MHX is obsessed with XM and XM is obsessed with himself! It would've been too funny.
Instead, for reasons I don't feel like explaining, they call Chu Wanning to help. And Chu Wanning tried to answers the summons, but he was held up... I mean, literally held up. Taxian-jun tied him to a pillar... Drugged him...
Chu Wanning, blink twice if you need help.
Okay, at least we got one thing out of this, and it's Xue Meng's comic trauma over talking to Chu Wanning while Mo Ran was... in the same room.
I must say, though, it's pretty dumb how easily Chi Wanning and Mo Ran show up to crack jokes and help out with the scroll spirit situation (not to mention other scenes where they're out and about and basically considered celebrities). Like... isn't the whole reason of they're hiding out in "cultivation" to avoid the world and its judgments and the possible ramifications for their questionable actions in the novel? But everything just seems fine? Anyway, this is all just to say, STOP MAKING XUE MENG SAD AND COME STAY BY HIS SIDE. GODDAMN. Everyone already knows the disciple and shizun are dating, not to mention that Mo Ran gets possessed periodically by Taxian-jun. So WHY THE ISOLATION.

The last extra, Shizun's Birthday, was atrociously translated and made sense about 30-40% of the time. So it wasn't amazing. But I'm still amused by Taxian-jun's chatacter in this domestic setting, and I'm getting more and more into the idea of a split-personality Mo Ran that Chu Wanning wearily but lovingly puts up with.
Eventually, I gave up reading. Too confusing. Then I found a slightly better translated version and restarted.
Taxian-jun demanding steamed buns so childishly, with a heart full of jealousy, was way too funny.
Anyway, this extra felt a bit needlessly long. Also, I simply cannot understand the author's obsession with Jiang Xi.

[&#x1d439;&#x1d4be;&#x1d4c3;&#x1d4c1;&#x1d452;&#x1d4ce; ⭑.ᐟ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“This voice, "Happy Birthday, may you live a happy life." Mo Ran knew that he would tell Chu Wanning for all his life.
Till it is snowy and frosty.
He will keep this flame. Chu Wanning was no different either.
They may not be the best people to ever live in this world, the most beautiful people, the richest, the greatest, the most powerful nor the broad-minded people, but for Mo Ran, in his eyes, Chu Wanning was his everything.
It was the same for Chu Wanning. No matter what fragments of Mo Ran appeared, or what kind of personality was taking over him, in both lifetimes, there wasn't anything needed to argue. Those were the souls that have gone through two lifetimes of ups and downs together with him. They were the wounded and fragmented lover who wanted to protect him. He would always love him deeply, illuminate him, cherish him, and spoil him.
Every lifetime.
I have given you all I have, and I will give you all I have.
I love you.”


11 volumes and 350 chapters later...i have finished the entirety of 2HA i actually don't have any words to say be this book was actually perfect. sobbing, laughing, getting pissed off, questioning everything i knew, i fear that this book had all and more. oh how i'll miss this book so much

[Pamela Zamora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Por fin pude darme el tiempo de leer los extras de 2ha.
En general estuvieron entretenidos, claro que unos me gustaron más que otros, pero diría que sirvió para complementar un poco la historia tras el final.

[Cecilia Carolina Vicario · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mi favorito fue el del cumpleaños de Chu Wanning. Me pareció muy gracioso y tierno.
Sin duda también hizo que amara más a Taxian Jun. Y eso que estoy hablando de Taxian Jun.