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272 pages, Paperback
First published May 11, 2021
Junie rested her hiccuping head against Grandpa’s bony back as he pedaled on the bumpy road, wobbling and clanking. Across the thin fabric of his sweat-soaked shirt and against Junie’s cheek, his ribs rose and fell with his breathing. She recognized that moment as the beginning and the end of something—though she was too young to say exactly what that something was. But she knew, without really knowing she did, that the gossamer threads we put out into the world turned into filaments, and filaments into tendrils, and that what people called destiny was really the outward contours of billions of these tendrils, as they exerted their tug on each of us.Swimming Back to Trout River is a story of connection and separation, of love and loss, of yearning and disappointment, of growing, striving, succeeding and failing. It is a story of enduring the worst of times, surviving an unquiet heart and a world in upheaval. We follow several characters as they cope with lives severely impacted by their experiences coming of age in China during the Cultural Revolution, a traumatic period that left as many as twenty million dead, and ruined millions more lives and careers.

Her most vivid childhood memories were about music, and although they commanded attention, in the end they led nowhere. She remembered crouching on the floor under the piano as her grandfather played it above her. She was five, it was the year before her parents died…In her mind, she wasn’t just under the piano; it was more like she was wearing it as a cloak. Its vibrations enveloped her, echoed in her chest, and emanated down to her toes, claiming her, and she hugged her knees tight just to keep herself in place.There are further steps forward in her musical journey but when she is accepted to university, it is her intention to be an architect, do something practical, build things for the country. However, a chance to be in a school orchestra rekindles her musical flame.
Junie scooted over toward him on her knees, reached into the well-worn tub where his feet were planted, and poked at the gnarled sinews and bones in them.She also offers motivation for Momo, trying to weave his family back together again, and is a source of considerable emotional conflict for Cassia. In a way, it is the ties to Junie, direct or otherwise, that impel the other main characters to want to swim back to Trout River.
“Your legs grew roots, Grandpa,” Junie said, “like those trees by the river!”
He looked at her, then down at his own feet.
“Do you think my legs will grow roots like yours, when I’m older?”
…because of what happened to her the previous year in Beijing, Cassia understood that what set human events in motion were the most ethereal of tendrils, a kind of machinery no less powerful for its lack of discernible shape.There is much on water as well, serving diverse needs, including as a connecting, unifying medium.
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He had assumed that even when the weight was at its heaviest, there had been a rope that tethered them to each other, such that pulling was possible.
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How did an umbilical cord turn into a noose?
“I don’t want to go anywhere,” she mumbled between spasms of breath. “I want to stay here with you and Grandma, even when you are old, forever and ever—”Cassia reacts to the Bay area climate as a source of comfort, maybe a way to stay hidden.
Grandpa started to shake his head when he heard the word “forever,” but he saw Junie’s fever-red cheeks and stopped himself.
“If you send me away, I’ll turn,” she told him.
Grandpa stared at her.
“I’ll turn into a fish and swim back here,” she said, pointing to the direction of the river, “from America!”
“From the river?”
“I’ll learn to swim for a long way,” Junie said. She’d seen America on a map, and it was across an expanse of textured blue. But what was an ocean, after all, but a bigger body of water? And didn’t adults say that all rivers drained into the sea?
To Cassia the fog had an inviting, tactile quality. Being in its midst must be like being embraced by the most benign form of water, because you could be immersed in it without drowning.In the Pen America interview Feng says:
Though I didn’t always grow up near bodies of water, in my writing I find myself drawn to rivers and coasts, probably because they gesture toward circulation and connectivity, and yet also have unique moods when observed on the time scale of days, years, decades, and even centuries.In an interview with LitHub, asked to summarize her book, Feng replied, How to improvise a life. The fluidity of where we call home. The resilience of the imagination. How the titanic forces of history precipitate in smaller, more recessive lives. She offers a vibrant look at what it means to be a Chinese immigrant in the USA, whether in an above-board visa-holding status, or as a defector, a student, or a menial laborer.
What I hope to show with characters like Momo is that the experience of emigration, however hopeful, involves a kind of sundering, a giving up of people and things that otherwise sustain them. And because much of what they give up—the fabric of an extended family, rootedness to a place, an honest narrative of one’s own past—are wholly invisible, they often find it hard to articulate the shapes of these more wayward forms of grief. - from the Pen America interviewGripes are few for this one. More screen time for Junie is the largest. There is a twist near the end that I thought was unnecessary. Those who have read the book will know what I am referring to.
…this morning, while driving the last stretch of road with a storm gathering, I thought: Is it possible that grief too is like music? Maybe once grief begins, you cannot simply cut it off. Rather you have to let it run its course the way an aria comes to its last note. You cannot stop grief in its tracks any more than you can cut off the aria at just any point you deem convenient.
And maybe, like someone said, love is a wound that closes and opens, all our lives.
“After all, wasn't it true that to love someone is to figure out how to tell yourself their story?”
“The incandescent cocoon of music was pure rapture, and it said to him; Stay. It was a powerful beckoning, to be held in thrall, to be consumed, annihilated even.”
“We learn so much more about things when they are broken or unmade, he thought.”
“He was impatient for time to pass, so that in his life, there would be less yearning and more having, less becoming and more being.”
“In order for Junie to exist, two people had to come together during the Cultural Revolution under circumstances that one of them would later describe as inevitable, and the other, as coincidental.”