Red Face: How I Learnt to Live With Social Anxiety

by Russell Norris

A myth-busting, powerful insight into life with Social Anxiety Disorder, which affects up to 10% of the populationReveals how SAD impacted one man's life, from his education and career to relationships and parenthood – and how through trial and error he learnt to copeThe author has championed awareness of social anxiety through appearances on TV and radio shows such as C4's Steph's Packed Lunch with Steph McGovern and newspaper features.

Genres: Nonfiction

197 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 1, 2021

Reviews

[Aoibheann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this was slightly cathartic in the sense that 1) someone went through the same things as I did and 2) they had it so much worse. I found myself nodding along to bits I was reading thinking “yup” or “oh my god I do that too” and I think that’s really important to have those shared experiences. The author had it really rough though and my heart went out to them. I’m really glad I read this book and that it’s there for others to read as I don’t think the concept of blushing and how draining it can be is talked about enough. Would really recommend to anyone who is experiencing the same things or a loved one of someone who is.

[Lindsey Mazur · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much for writing this book. I'm feeling so vulnerable for even rating this book five stars, for publicly declaring how much this book meant to me. Proof of such a deeply rooted shame I've held onto since I was 12 years old, that nearly no one in my life has ever known or understood. This book brought me to tears - both sympathizing with Russell Norris's uniquely personal struggle with social anxiety disorder, & closely empathizing down to the WORD my exact struggle with it too. I grew up thinking this terror was so uniquely my own, that no one else understood or struggled with the same problem. That something was wrong with me and no one else had this. Over the years, we've opened up culturally, generationally, about anxiety and how it manifests differently in people though it's such a universal angst. This book took it a step further, pinpointing the exact feelings and fears I'd spent my adolescent years growing up with: erythrophobia. I'm only just now finding the language and testimonies of other humans out there who grew up so similarly afraid of the world, and unpacking this with my own therapist today. Now approaching my thirties, it feels so liberating to know there are people all across the world that suffered in silence with the same thing you did. I feel like a small part of my inner child has come home to herself in reading this book. I can't thank you enough for sharing your story and allowing me and so many others struggling with SAD, to feel seen. Thank you.

[Ashley Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Redface by Russell Norris is a memoir of living with social anxiety disorder—with a twist.

The redface of the title comes from a condition the author has called idiopathic craniofacial erythema, which produces intense and often unprovoked facial blushing. He also developed erythrophobia, where blushing itself becomes a source of fear. It sounds like any socially anxious person’s worst nightmare, especially when (of course) people feel entitled to ask or comment.

The book includes information about social anxiety and reflections from the present interspersed with narrative of the past. The author gives examples of how his anxiety manifested in childhood, and then developed further with the challenges of school and exams. He writes about maladaptive coping strategies that he used, including self-harm, alcohol, and avoidance.

In university, he found himself rejected by girls, and writes: “Rejection felt like failure on a primal level, more proof that there was something fundamentally wrong with me.”

Eventually, he was able to work through the anxiety, and interestingly, having children helped, as avoidance wasn’t an option and it forced him to shift his focus outside of himself. Remarkably, he was able to do much of the work towards recovery on his own.

I quite liked this line: “Social anxiety is essentially a lifetime of holding on to all the moments that other people throw away. Forgettable moments for them, unforgettable moments for you.”

The book concludes with a chapter on why the author wrote the book and why it was important to challenge the stigma around social anxiety disorder and idiopathic craniofacial erythema. He mentions the tragic story of someone else with the same condition who ended up suiciding because the distress was intolerable.

Kudos to the author for opening up so much about deeply personal things; that’s hard to do in general, much less with a social anxiety disorder. I think it’s important to have a story out there in the world about idiopathic craniofacial erythema to offer hope to fellow sufferers, and this book does a very good job of that.



I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

This review first appeared on https://mentalhealthathome.org/2021/0...

[Verity Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Russell, thanks so much for writing this book & being so vulnerable and honest about your experience. This has helped me & others feel we are not alone. I deeply resonated with the part about loneliness, when you walked around the streets to avoid school and when you stayed in your university house room. This feeling of loneliness when you are so desperate for human connection has got to be the worst part of erythrophobia. It is reassuring to know that after many years of struggling, you have learnt to accept who you are and the phobia has crept more into the sidelines. This is an excellent Well written book that took me on a rollercoaster of emotions and helped me to unpack my past. I also hope to spread awareness and support other sufferers one day. Highly recommend this book to anyone suffering or curious about this specific form of anxiety.

[Mario Sobarzo Coronado]

"Más Allá del Rubor"

"Red Face" de Russell Norris es una historia que resuena profundamente con aquellos que experimentan ansiedad social, particularmente la eritrofobia. El autor comparte su vida, incluyendo tanto los momentos difíciles como los positivos, así como las emociones y sensaciones que resultan familiares para quienes padecen esta condición. Su relato honesto y sencillo, que incluye su experiencia con el alcohol, puede recordar a los lectores sus propias vivencias o las de personas cercanas. Este libro es altamente recomendable no solo para personas con ansiedad social sino también para especialistas que tratan este trastorno. Norris describe su condición específica como eritema craneofacial idiopático. En mi libro "Más Allá del Rubor", se incluye parte de la historia de Russel junto con las experiencias de otros individuos que padecen de la misma condición.