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Speaking in Tongues
When you no longer believe in eternity, every moment counts -- A memoir of breaking free and reinvention From the outside, Tom Tilley's childhood seemed ordinary. The first son of a pastor, he grew up in a beautiful country town where life revolved around football, his loving family and their Pentecostal faith. But behind church doors, a strictly enforced set of rules included a looming if Tom didn't speak in tongues, he'd go to hell and be outcast from his close-knit, devout community.The older Tom became, the more he questioned the teachings of the church, especially around speaking in tongues. And the more he heard about his parents' adventurous lives before they found God, the more he wanted the freedom to make those 'mistakes' that the church forbade. Eventually, after years of suppressing his doubts in silence, Tom spoke up. Having the courage to do so came at a huge personal cost, leading to a decision that would take his family to breaking point. What happened next is surprising, and Tom's journey to independence will inspire readers to ask what's true in their own lives and who they really are.Told with empathy and searing honesty, Speaking in Tongues is a powerful coming-of-age story about questioning the life created for you and building your true self, one recycled brick at a time.
320 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 1, 2022
24 people are currently reading
738 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews
May 11, 2022
I have listened to Tom Tilley on the radio for 10+ years now, so there seemed little doubt that I would read his memoir. As a Christian myself, I suspected and feared it may end up being a bit of an attack on Christianity, not just the sect that Tilley was seeking to critique. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised by the balance he managed to strike between honestly telling his own story while not lumping all religion in the same boat (though he makes his own beliefs clear, as he is entitled to).
The fact he didn’t use the opportunity with a captive audience to be overly malicious and spiteful is a credit to the healing and personal growth that has clearly occurred (although, it admittedly would not be an easy read for people belonging to the Revivalist churches or perhaps even Pentecostal churches). I personally felt uncomfortable at points reflecting on some of the similarities between the Revivalist church and more ‘mainstream’ Christianity, however this does not negate the need for this story to be told or for people of all religions to face up to some of the harsh realities of mistreatment that has and continues to happen in the name of religion.
The story of Tilley’s upbringing was a fascinating one, but the strength of this book was in his ability to self reflect and share the growth he has experienced over the years as he wrestled with his reality and went on his own journey of self-discovery.
The fact he didn’t use the opportunity with a captive audience to be overly malicious and spiteful is a credit to the healing and personal growth that has clearly occurred (although, it admittedly would not be an easy read for people belonging to the Revivalist churches or perhaps even Pentecostal churches). I personally felt uncomfortable at points reflecting on some of the similarities between the Revivalist church and more ‘mainstream’ Christianity, however this does not negate the need for this story to be told or for people of all religions to face up to some of the harsh realities of mistreatment that has and continues to happen in the name of religion.
The story of Tilley’s upbringing was a fascinating one, but the strength of this book was in his ability to self reflect and share the growth he has experienced over the years as he wrestled with his reality and went on his own journey of self-discovery.
March 12, 2023
3.5 stars
May 12, 2022
Easy to read, flows well, flew through this in 2 days. Interesting and relevant to me as someone with the same upbringing - I do wonder if it would be as interesting to those not from RF/RCI?
June 6, 2022
Interesting for sure. But I feel somewhat over ever reading anything about religion overwhelming families.
From my own upbringing within a very religious family structure, no where near as overwhelming as the authors experience though, but I do understand where this comes from and the life long hooks that remain even after you escape from the control of dogma and cults/sects
I guess it serves to remind us all that the choices we make always have impacts on those around us especially children.
I rate this as a 3.5
From my own upbringing within a very religious family structure, no where near as overwhelming as the authors experience though, but I do understand where this comes from and the life long hooks that remain even after you escape from the control of dogma and cults/sects
I guess it serves to remind us all that the choices we make always have impacts on those around us especially children.
I rate this as a 3.5
August 4, 2022
Having grown up (not by my choice) in a similar Pentecostal madhouse in Australia, I was intrigued to hear of Tom Tilley's personal experience in the Revival Centres Church (RCC) and their obsession with speaking in tongues as a doorway to, well, everything.
The book is a no-holds-barred examination of what it's like to grow up in one of these churches (cough.. sects). Tilley recounts this from his very first memories as a toddler, through to the present day. At some point in his life journey (and I won't spoil it by saying when), Tilley eventually works out what's going on, and not going on, and makes the choice to finally leave the organisation that has emotionally and mentally held him for so long. But the story doesn't end there. He goes on to describe his life after the church and how its bizarre ways stick with him into middle age. His realisations of how he has subconsciously acted contrary to those beliefs are revealing and poignant.
Much of Tilley's experience rings true with my own, and his story evoked many memories for me - some good, many not good, and some just plain weird. The church I was subjected to wasn't quite as nutty as RCC, but it was similar. The damage these places can do to a young life, and eventually an adult life, is significant. I came to a deeper understanding of this from Tilley's story.
I read this one as an audiobook - narrated by Tilley himself. His voice is familiar being a regular on various national media shows. His style is easy-going and straightforward, even simple in some parts (although that's probably not the right word). Much of his story is told from a child's perspective and this spills over into his adult life to some extent. I suspect this is part of how growing up in a church like this can effect your self-view and worldview. Readers who've never experienced these things may find these perspectives hard to fathom - similar to how the general public can't comprehend how people in crazy sects don't 'just leave, dammit!'.
One of the strengths of the book, and I suspect of Tilley's personality is a certain gentleness and a healthy respect for others. It would be easier, I think, to write a book like this and tear into the organisations and people in the story. While Tilley tells it like it is, he doesn't crucify people on the way (pardon the pun). This is to be applauded.
I found the book mostly enjoyable and it certainly got me thinking. Others who've been through similar experiences will get much from this book. If that's not you, but you're interested in this 'speaking in tongues' business, then this book will be of interest to you.
The book is a no-holds-barred examination of what it's like to grow up in one of these churches (cough.. sects). Tilley recounts this from his very first memories as a toddler, through to the present day. At some point in his life journey (and I won't spoil it by saying when), Tilley eventually works out what's going on, and not going on, and makes the choice to finally leave the organisation that has emotionally and mentally held him for so long. But the story doesn't end there. He goes on to describe his life after the church and how its bizarre ways stick with him into middle age. His realisations of how he has subconsciously acted contrary to those beliefs are revealing and poignant.
Much of Tilley's experience rings true with my own, and his story evoked many memories for me - some good, many not good, and some just plain weird. The church I was subjected to wasn't quite as nutty as RCC, but it was similar. The damage these places can do to a young life, and eventually an adult life, is significant. I came to a deeper understanding of this from Tilley's story.
I read this one as an audiobook - narrated by Tilley himself. His voice is familiar being a regular on various national media shows. His style is easy-going and straightforward, even simple in some parts (although that's probably not the right word). Much of his story is told from a child's perspective and this spills over into his adult life to some extent. I suspect this is part of how growing up in a church like this can effect your self-view and worldview. Readers who've never experienced these things may find these perspectives hard to fathom - similar to how the general public can't comprehend how people in crazy sects don't 'just leave, dammit!'.
One of the strengths of the book, and I suspect of Tilley's personality is a certain gentleness and a healthy respect for others. It would be easier, I think, to write a book like this and tear into the organisations and people in the story. While Tilley tells it like it is, he doesn't crucify people on the way (pardon the pun). This is to be applauded.
I found the book mostly enjoyable and it certainly got me thinking. Others who've been through similar experiences will get much from this book. If that's not you, but you're interested in this 'speaking in tongues' business, then this book will be of interest to you.
July 12, 2022
A book about the Pentacostal faith - but also so much more than that: travel, family, and life in your 20s. Listened to the audiobook narrated by Tom himself
May 13, 2022
Utterly fascinating to read about an Australian upbringing so vastly different from my own. Well done Tom! Your identity crisis and struggle was evident but it was great to hear how you found your place in the world in the end. Oh and you vivid retelling of the Spendour moment sharing the stage with Tina had tears streaming down my face!
July 17, 2022
A lot of this hit very close to home, other parts less so. The Anglican Church is a long way from the Revivalist centres and yet the Pastor’s kid experience is able to transcend those differences in many ways. An engaging memoir from an earnest, self-aware and articulate writer.
September 8, 2022
Not really the book for me and it didn't hold my interest past the halfway mark. I finished it, but there was a lot of skimming.
November 19, 2025
Really loved this book so reflective, balanced and thoughtful. I thought the entanglement of community and life within hardcore religious groups was articulated so well and highlighted how hard it is to walk away.
January 10, 2023
I was very excited to read this book. I’ve loved listening to Tom on TripleJ for years and was keen to hear his backstory. The recount of his time in the church was fascinating, but sometimes a bit laboured and repetitive. I imagine this was done to mimic how he felt being preached to for half of his life, but it read as dry at times. We didn’t learn about life after the church until 234 pages in.
His recount of his adventures overseas were the most interesting and his memories of his times playing with Client Liaison made me smile. Part 4 was definitely my favourite.
I didn’t even realise there were pictures at the back on the book until I’d nearly finished. These were a lovely addition.
A great read.
His recount of his adventures overseas were the most interesting and his memories of his times playing with Client Liaison made me smile. Part 4 was definitely my favourite.
I didn’t even realise there were pictures at the back on the book until I’d nearly finished. These were a lovely addition.
A great read.
September 5, 2022
Highly readable (finished in 3 days!)
Although content warning with some explicit scenes, but told quite humorously.
I may come back and add some quotes later, but I think a book that really shows the Aussie worldview post-religion.
One issue I had was that his representation of the gospel was always subjective, even in his "best summary of it", it didn't link to the fact that Jesus claimed to be Lord, a historical death and resurrection. Does challenge me to think about how I present the gospel.
Also, for his confusion at why we even say testimonies, this is pretty much his testimony of believing the secular humanism worldview, not to say I didn't appreciate it. I hope my testimony of finding hope in Jesus will be helpful too.
Although content warning with some explicit scenes, but told quite humorously.
I may come back and add some quotes later, but I think a book that really shows the Aussie worldview post-religion.
One issue I had was that his representation of the gospel was always subjective, even in his "best summary of it", it didn't link to the fact that Jesus claimed to be Lord, a historical death and resurrection. Does challenge me to think about how I present the gospel.
Also, for his confusion at why we even say testimonies, this is pretty much his testimony of believing the secular humanism worldview, not to say I didn't appreciate it. I hope my testimony of finding hope in Jesus will be helpful too.
May 27, 2022
I decided to read (listen) to this book as have always followed Tom Tilley on Hack and various TV programs . It was interesting to learn of a childhood quite different to my own. It's an open and honest account of life growing up in a religious sect and then leaving and learning how to live outside of that. I loved how meeting strangers were highlighted and how they can change your life.
April 7, 2023
I read this very quickly, which is unusual for a memoir. It was very easy to read. It made me very sad as it reminded me of my own life.
May 7, 2022
Speaking in Tongues by Tom Tilley is a fascinating memoir about Tom’s journey growing up in a strict Pentecostal church to his eventual exit.
Tom begins questioning his spiritual beliefs and church at just 10 years old. Never able to comfortably share his church with friends from the outside, inside, Tom had an extensive network of friends that he felt fully understood him. Though dogmatic, Tom’s church gave him a community.
Navigating school and uni, Tom was caught between two worlds. He yearned for the freedoms he’d heard spoken of in the lives “before christ” by the adults around him, to make mistakes, go on grand adventures and have a successful career. Yet conflictingly, Tom longed for a spiritual awakening to cement his faith in God, his place in the church and a life he thought he was supposed to lead.
Tom’s journey of self-discovery is made up of countless small revelations and steps towards untying himself from a life that didn’t fit to creating one that expanded his universe.
Tom writes with honesty, openness and careful contemplation, relaying the heaviness of being ostracised by his entire church and, for some time, his family while maintaining compassion and respect. A must-read for anyone questioning a life handed to them.
Tom begins questioning his spiritual beliefs and church at just 10 years old. Never able to comfortably share his church with friends from the outside, inside, Tom had an extensive network of friends that he felt fully understood him. Though dogmatic, Tom’s church gave him a community.
Navigating school and uni, Tom was caught between two worlds. He yearned for the freedoms he’d heard spoken of in the lives “before christ” by the adults around him, to make mistakes, go on grand adventures and have a successful career. Yet conflictingly, Tom longed for a spiritual awakening to cement his faith in God, his place in the church and a life he thought he was supposed to lead.
Tom’s journey of self-discovery is made up of countless small revelations and steps towards untying himself from a life that didn’t fit to creating one that expanded his universe.
Tom writes with honesty, openness and careful contemplation, relaying the heaviness of being ostracised by his entire church and, for some time, his family while maintaining compassion and respect. A must-read for anyone questioning a life handed to them.
July 2, 2022
Excellent book. I was a member of the Revival Centres for several years back in the late 70s to early 80s. Like Tom, I never got to speak in tongues in any way that made me feel as if it was real for me. And like Tom I eventually moved away from the Revival Centre and found my own spiritual path. I enjoyed reading this immensely. It brought back so many memories. Some warm and wonderful, some sad and awful. I'm so glad Tom shared his story.
September 3, 2022
Difficult to rate this one. Some of the content was well written and provided insight into the challenges of being born into a religious sect, which is why I'd picked it up. The rest of it, not so much...
March 5, 2024
Super validating tale of a fundamental church upbringing and the anguish of questioning and leaving, and of navigating family relationships with those still in the church, especially an Australian experience, and one where some of it took place so close to home, including the Adelaide church I have driven past a million times in Kingswood. Our gospel assembly and his revivalist one both in Adelaide, both running at the same time, were so alike in so many beliefs - including being the only correct interpretation of christianity, despite the fact that we would have lumped them in with the other pentecostal churches they disdained. Note to my parents: Instead of dragging us across town to North Adelaide every Sunday, you could have embroiled yourself in equally restrictive/controlling dogma of just a slightly different ilk only 15 minutes from home!
The depiction of skirting that dual life in school and with other friends felt so familiar, as did the later journey of trying to earnestly find a level of faith that might fit while facing the anger and disappointment of those still in the church and trying to build authentic friendships and relationships with others who have never experienced anything like it, although I never got quite as exploratory. Also super interesting to see the grappling with purity culture from a guy's perspective, which I've only heard a little about, and funny at times to see another variation on the wrangling and justifications around this side of things.
The writing didn't always grab me, and I perhaps wanted a bit more depth of his thoughts and feelings about his experiences to better engage. Probably would have been a 3 stars from me if I didn't relate quite so much despite that. Also I never listen to Triple J and had no idea who Tom Tilley was before reading this... Also, super envious of his family's commitment ultimately to family over the church and their ability to regain/repair/maintain their relationships outside the confines and zeal of religion.
The depiction of skirting that dual life in school and with other friends felt so familiar, as did the later journey of trying to earnestly find a level of faith that might fit while facing the anger and disappointment of those still in the church and trying to build authentic friendships and relationships with others who have never experienced anything like it, although I never got quite as exploratory. Also super interesting to see the grappling with purity culture from a guy's perspective, which I've only heard a little about, and funny at times to see another variation on the wrangling and justifications around this side of things.
The writing didn't always grab me, and I perhaps wanted a bit more depth of his thoughts and feelings about his experiences to better engage. Probably would have been a 3 stars from me if I didn't relate quite so much despite that. Also I never listen to Triple J and had no idea who Tom Tilley was before reading this... Also, super envious of his family's commitment ultimately to family over the church and their ability to regain/repair/maintain their relationships outside the confines and zeal of religion.
May 28, 2022
Speaking in Tongues by Tom Tilley is raw, humble, honest and brave.
I have written my own memoir about the intense grief of leaving a fundamental religion in Australia and have read many biographies on this topic, so was curious if I would be reading a new story, I am delighted to say I did. This is the most intimate, detailed and honest account I have read by a man struggling with issues of forced religion, conformity, passionate faith, sincere pursuit of truth, and the brutality and cruelty that fundamental religions inflict on those who dare to challenge the rules. I was interested in the inner politics, religious fractioning and the sides members were forced to take. I resonated with the use of religious terminology and customs and related to the sense of dread, self-loathing, indecision, guilt and devastation of losing everyone and everything you held dear.
There is a moment with his father, and I felt such intense compassion, and relatability for both of them, I was brought to tears. Tom kept the tension of the story going for most of the book and waited until close to the end for resolution, which I appreciated, as he made sure not to minimize or deflect from what the story is really about - religious trauma.
Because I have a similar background, I was heavily invested in, and appreciative of this memoir.
Five stars from me.
I have written my own memoir about the intense grief of leaving a fundamental religion in Australia and have read many biographies on this topic, so was curious if I would be reading a new story, I am delighted to say I did. This is the most intimate, detailed and honest account I have read by a man struggling with issues of forced religion, conformity, passionate faith, sincere pursuit of truth, and the brutality and cruelty that fundamental religions inflict on those who dare to challenge the rules. I was interested in the inner politics, religious fractioning and the sides members were forced to take. I resonated with the use of religious terminology and customs and related to the sense of dread, self-loathing, indecision, guilt and devastation of losing everyone and everything you held dear.
There is a moment with his father, and I felt such intense compassion, and relatability for both of them, I was brought to tears. Tom kept the tension of the story going for most of the book and waited until close to the end for resolution, which I appreciated, as he made sure not to minimize or deflect from what the story is really about - religious trauma.
Because I have a similar background, I was heavily invested in, and appreciative of this memoir.
Five stars from me.
November 19, 2022
Really enjoyed this audio book, I was hooked and found myself finding time to listen all throughout the day, rather than just in the car. It’s well written and easy to follow in comparison to other autobiographies that are the first time they have written a book. Such a great story and I’m so glad he managed to find his own truth in his lifeZ
June 2, 2022
I absolutely adored this memoir. As a long time fan of Tom Tilley from over the years of listening to his great journalism on Hack, and then a Client Liaison fan and seeing him play at Splendour, I thought I had a sense of who he was.
This book made me realise I had no clue of his story and the pain he was hiding.
This was a real eye opener to what it was like for him growing up in a strict sect of the Pentecostal church and the doubts that can follow when one is born into those beliefs.
He writes so beautifully and navigates his doubts with such pain and isolation that it is so hard to read at times, but learning about his journey to self discovery is ultimately so rewarding. He bravely puts his vulnerability out in the open, telling the story of leaving the church and finding his feet without his tight knit community.
“I badly wanted to find a place in this world, but I wasn’t sure how to fit in”
This book made me realise I had no clue of his story and the pain he was hiding.
This was a real eye opener to what it was like for him growing up in a strict sect of the Pentecostal church and the doubts that can follow when one is born into those beliefs.
He writes so beautifully and navigates his doubts with such pain and isolation that it is so hard to read at times, but learning about his journey to self discovery is ultimately so rewarding. He bravely puts his vulnerability out in the open, telling the story of leaving the church and finding his feet without his tight knit community.
“I badly wanted to find a place in this world, but I wasn’t sure how to fit in”
July 5, 2022
Revered Triple J journalist and ex-Hack presenter opens up about his upbringing in a fundamentalist Pentecostal family. Through his story he shows how he came to question his belief and the value of family when this faith is challenged.
Read by Suzie
Read by Suzie
July 17, 2022
Finished this book in 2 hours! As a fan of Tom on Hack & Client Liaison, it was fascinating to read the story of this guy that I’ve only known of in his party zone. As someone brought up aware of the church and in and out of Christianity, Tom’s story is comforting. Religion is such a conflicting part of many young people’s lives.
December 3, 2023
Listened to the audiobook read by the author which held my attention probably more than if I had read the text . It is essentially a coming of age story, the process being delayed in this individuals case by the interference of extreme dogma disguised as guidance to heaven.
July 23, 2022
I have been loving a good memoir lately and this was excellent.
July 26, 2022
What a fantastic story to tell! I loved listening to this book as I grew up listening to Tom on triplej.
September 26, 2022
A balanced look at Tom’s struggle with leaving his Pentecostal faith. A very interesting read, would recommend.
January 30, 2023
Tom Tilley’s story was heartbreaking at times and captivated me throughout the whole book. Tom’s life is full of exciting stories and I read this in 2 days as couldn’t put it down!
October 21, 2025
I absolutely loved this book! An excellent expose of what it’s like to grow up in a fundamentalist Christian sect and the complex navigation of exiting a deeply engrained socialised community full of judgement, obligation, familial complexity and expectation, and trust. As someone with lived experience of this, from the very first pages, Speaking in Tongues grips you with Tom’s raw honesty, vulnerability and emotional power of transformative change. Tom charts his navigation of religion and how ideology shifts with education and the shear loneliness of transition away from intergenerational community. A compelling memoir that traces his journey from the strict confines of a Revival Pentecostal Assembly upbringing in rural Australia to the freedom of forging his own identity in the wider world. It has a unique Australian voice and experience that differs it from other religious memoirs. Tom with words paints a vivid visual text that encourages the minds eye and descriptions of place unique to his experience. Best known as a journalist and broadcaster on Tripple J for those who had their twenties in the 2010’s, Tilley turns his investigative eye inward, examining faith, loyalty to family and a deeply personal story of Christian dogma. His prose is lucid and accessible and layered with empathy for those who remain within the faith he left behind. He expertly navigates how travel can expand the mind and the role of having forgiveness for those who cannot forgive. He resists caricature, choosing nuance over condemnation, and in doing so, offers a rare generosity to both his former world and his readers. It’s a deeply Australian story that resonates far beyond its context, a meditation on courage, doubt and the search for authenticity. An excellent read!
April 3, 2025
Interesting listen as I had never heard of Revival Centres before. Tom was open and honest, just wish he grew up knowing grace.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews