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Worth: An Inspiring True Story of Abandonment, Exile, Inner Strength and Belonging
The memoir of an African-Asian woman adopted into a Punjabi, Sikh family, and her story of overcoming racism, sexism, health problems and escaping Uganda after the expelling of Asians from the country in 1972.A powerful memoir of overcoming adversity that will inspire you to find strength from within and shape your own destiny.Bharti Dhir faced many challenges in her childhood that could have broken her. As a baby, she was abandoned at a roadside in the Ugandan heat, and miraculously found by a passerby. By divine guidance, Bharti's adoptive mother was led to her hospital cot and welcomed Bharti into their Punjabi-Sikh family. Despite experiencing sexism and racism as an Asian-African girl, and developing an incurable skin condition, Bharti found hope through the fear and prejudice.Then, in 1972 when Idi Amin expelled Asians from Uganda, Bharti's family were forced to flee to the UK. She remembers the horrific moment when her adoptive mother was ordered, at gunpoint, to abandon Bharti because of the color of her skin. With incredible courage, she refused, risking their lives to protect Bharti as her own. Throughout her struggles, Bharti retained faith in a divine power within all of us that gives us strength, protects us and loves us unconditionally. Years later, now a social worker specializing in child protection, Bharti lives in the UK with an adopted daughter of her own and has found her true purpose and sense of self-worth.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
262 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 9, 2021
18 people are currently reading
66 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
April 8, 2021
Six years ago I was living in UK and I had two main impressions about the country: 1) the whole world is there which is no wonder keeping in mind that the country had invaded half of the world over the times and 2) it's the land of opportunities. The second impression encouraged me to start offering creative writing workshops, something I had been dreaming about for a few years. And Auntie Bharti, the author of this wonderful book and also a wonderful person herself whose family kindly took me in for a while, was one of my students. Well "students" as I was no teacher, just facilitating the process of creativity.
I take absolutely zero credit for the existance of this book, but I do feel that I had the chance to experience the wonder of a person being brave enough to start sharing her story (and this goes to all of my "students" back then) .
When I got the news about this book being written, I was really happy and also quite surprised as I knew parts of the story and it's a crazy one. Honestly, the first word that comes to my mind is - crazy! How can one person/one family go through such a terrible events and still remain so kind-hearted, openminded, generous, and loving just rebuilds my trust in humanity.
Bharti's life started (well very soon after birth) in a box on a roadside somewhere in Uganda, left for wild animals or any other shape that death loves to take. She was saved (and event the story of saving has a bit of miracle in it). Later she was adopted because of some persistant dream that a pregnant lady was having. And this is just the beginning. The story gives a good glimpse in a childhood in an Ugandian town in times of various beliefs, prejudices, very weird alternative medicine practices, also in a time of a terrible, bloody dictatorship. Towards the end of the book the author brings us to UK in 70ties and it is not a happy ending yet. And actually also today it is not a happy ending. It is happy continuing as right now she is... well read yourself to discover it.
Once again, I found it very corageous to share this story as it also has some unflattering truths about the author (and not only). I believe it's called growth when you can look back, reflect and understand all the process you have gone through. It is a spiritual read in a way too - in a way that it is a proof of the power of spirituality in our lives. It's there. And not always we need the craziest stories to notice it. The affirmations in the end of the book helps with that.
I also want to add that I absolutely love the cover!
I really, really hope that soon enought I will be able to travel to bring my copy to UK and ask for the autograph. Miss that amazing family too.
Oh, another thought. The thing from our workshops back in 2015 that stucks in my head (or heart) the most was Bharti's truly amazing children stories. So looking forward towards some surprise also in this field.
I take absolutely zero credit for the existance of this book, but I do feel that I had the chance to experience the wonder of a person being brave enough to start sharing her story (and this goes to all of my "students" back then) .
When I got the news about this book being written, I was really happy and also quite surprised as I knew parts of the story and it's a crazy one. Honestly, the first word that comes to my mind is - crazy! How can one person/one family go through such a terrible events and still remain so kind-hearted, openminded, generous, and loving just rebuilds my trust in humanity.
Bharti's life started (well very soon after birth) in a box on a roadside somewhere in Uganda, left for wild animals or any other shape that death loves to take. She was saved (and event the story of saving has a bit of miracle in it). Later she was adopted because of some persistant dream that a pregnant lady was having. And this is just the beginning. The story gives a good glimpse in a childhood in an Ugandian town in times of various beliefs, prejudices, very weird alternative medicine practices, also in a time of a terrible, bloody dictatorship. Towards the end of the book the author brings us to UK in 70ties and it is not a happy ending yet. And actually also today it is not a happy ending. It is happy continuing as right now she is... well read yourself to discover it.
Once again, I found it very corageous to share this story as it also has some unflattering truths about the author (and not only). I believe it's called growth when you can look back, reflect and understand all the process you have gone through. It is a spiritual read in a way too - in a way that it is a proof of the power of spirituality in our lives. It's there. And not always we need the craziest stories to notice it. The affirmations in the end of the book helps with that.
I also want to add that I absolutely love the cover!
I really, really hope that soon enought I will be able to travel to bring my copy to UK and ask for the autograph. Miss that amazing family too.
Oh, another thought. The thing from our workshops back in 2015 that stucks in my head (or heart) the most was Bharti's truly amazing children stories. So looking forward towards some surprise also in this field.
April 29, 2021
Diverse Wisdom Initiative
This book came into being due to the Diverse Wisdom Initiative at Hay House, a proactive measure inspired by the work of Jessica Huie to seek out authors that don't fit what they recognised was a stereotypical mould of who their published authors tend to be. It doesn't require me to describe what that might look like, it's a universal problem.
Authors like Kyle Gray, Rebecca Campbell and others were given a group of potential authors to mentor from those who applied to the initiative.
Perseverance
Bharti Dhir was a late applicant, encouraged by her niece to submit, she resisted until the last minute of the last day, one finger typing her submission. She was tentatively accepted and became a mentee of Kyle Gray, however when all the manuscripts were submitted, and they were told whose had been accepted to go on to publication, hers wasn't there. Kyle Gray says he replied to the publisher with one word. Devastated. And then did what an empowered, loyal supporter like him will do, not give up until they changed their mind!
And what a wonderful book she has co-written as a result.
Review
As a baby, she was abandoned in a fruit box on the side of the road in Uganda. To this day she doesn't know who her birth mother was, though rumours fill in a few gaps and create a story, that one can imagine what might have happened. She was found and taken to a hospital.
Meanwhile, her future adoptive mother, 7 months pregnant with her first child had a kind of vision or strong premonition, associated with the Hindu Goddess Lakshimi that there a baby girl coming to her, and insisted it wasn't the baby she was carrying. Suffice to say, there is a wonderful narrative built around how she came to be the first daughter of this family and how they overcome a ot of negative feeling, prejudice and racism, about their decision as a Punjabi-Sikh family to adopt an Asian-African baby of unknown heritage.
At times she begged family members for details about her heritage, but everyone was tight-lipped, those that knew anything having promised never to tell.
Throughout her childhood there are numerous events, situations, heath problems and challenges that Bharti and her family live through, address and overcome, some of which contribute (at the time) to diminishing her sense of self-worth and with each situation she shares how she is able to look back with compassion and forgiveness and describe how she was able to turn all that around.
The situations are often tense and frightening, the heath problems and the witch doctor remedies they seek out alarming, but this is no misery memoir, this is an empowered woman, writing her story for her own daughter, acknowledging that there will be times in one's life when life seems to be against you, but that every situation is temporary and finding and nurturing that core of self belief will carry you through even the worst situations.
Her father both took her to witch doctors and tried to take a stand against superstition by promoting education, including paying for the education of many who came to work in his garage and ensuring that all his daughters received an education.
Understanding why for example girls were treated as 'less than' boys, and how a society judges those of mixed race, or different religions, or a multitude of differences, enabled her to either become a victim, turn to anger, resentment, bitterness, self-hatred, or to choose another way.
When the Ugandan President Idi Amin in 1972 decreed that all Asians must leave Uganda, everyone in their town had already had their cars confiscated, sue to their proximity to the border. Escaping, wasn't easy, finding a car to take them and getting through roadblocks, where any small reason could result in trigger happy soldiers punishing defiance. One of the most tense moments in the books happens when Bharti's mother is confronted over her mixed race daughter.
In England, they would encounter fresh challenges, in school, in the neighbourhood, another country where they were perceived as unwelcome foreigners. At 15, Bharti announced she intended to change her name, having had enough of the teasing. Her mother explained the cultural significance of her name and she earned another truth.
Her reflections on compassion and empathy are enlightening and model a nurturing way to embrace our humanity and practice them as acts of self-care.
By the end of the book, her life will have come full circle as she too becomes a mother and a protector of children in her role as a social worker and shares 15 affirmation to boost self-worth.
This book came into being due to the Diverse Wisdom Initiative at Hay House, a proactive measure inspired by the work of Jessica Huie to seek out authors that don't fit what they recognised was a stereotypical mould of who their published authors tend to be. It doesn't require me to describe what that might look like, it's a universal problem.
Authors like Kyle Gray, Rebecca Campbell and others were given a group of potential authors to mentor from those who applied to the initiative.
Perseverance
Bharti Dhir was a late applicant, encouraged by her niece to submit, she resisted until the last minute of the last day, one finger typing her submission. She was tentatively accepted and became a mentee of Kyle Gray, however when all the manuscripts were submitted, and they were told whose had been accepted to go on to publication, hers wasn't there. Kyle Gray says he replied to the publisher with one word. Devastated. And then did what an empowered, loyal supporter like him will do, not give up until they changed their mind!
And what a wonderful book she has co-written as a result.
Review
As a baby, she was abandoned in a fruit box on the side of the road in Uganda. To this day she doesn't know who her birth mother was, though rumours fill in a few gaps and create a story, that one can imagine what might have happened. She was found and taken to a hospital.
Meanwhile, her future adoptive mother, 7 months pregnant with her first child had a kind of vision or strong premonition, associated with the Hindu Goddess Lakshimi that there a baby girl coming to her, and insisted it wasn't the baby she was carrying. Suffice to say, there is a wonderful narrative built around how she came to be the first daughter of this family and how they overcome a ot of negative feeling, prejudice and racism, about their decision as a Punjabi-Sikh family to adopt an Asian-African baby of unknown heritage.
At times she begged family members for details about her heritage, but everyone was tight-lipped, those that knew anything having promised never to tell.
Left with no other choice, given no one would speak to me, I resolved to live with my imagination.
Throughout her childhood there are numerous events, situations, heath problems and challenges that Bharti and her family live through, address and overcome, some of which contribute (at the time) to diminishing her sense of self-worth and with each situation she shares how she is able to look back with compassion and forgiveness and describe how she was able to turn all that around.
It was these daydreams that helped to build my sense of worth, making me believe that I'd get there one day.
The situations are often tense and frightening, the heath problems and the witch doctor remedies they seek out alarming, but this is no misery memoir, this is an empowered woman, writing her story for her own daughter, acknowledging that there will be times in one's life when life seems to be against you, but that every situation is temporary and finding and nurturing that core of self belief will carry you through even the worst situations.
Curses and witchcraft were the given explanation for so many ills in Uganda - from businesses failing to sickness, and from childlessness to death. In Uganda, you couldn't pretend that the belief in magic didn't exist. It was soaked into the fabric of our lives. To survive in society, you needed to both fear and respect it.
Her father both took her to witch doctors and tried to take a stand against superstition by promoting education, including paying for the education of many who came to work in his garage and ensuring that all his daughters received an education.
Understanding why for example girls were treated as 'less than' boys, and how a society judges those of mixed race, or different religions, or a multitude of differences, enabled her to either become a victim, turn to anger, resentment, bitterness, self-hatred, or to choose another way.
Girls were given lectures on many occasions as to how they could and couldn't behave and I felt a real sense of injustice about these rules as a child. This was my sense of worth rising to the surface. It comes with anger, and it comes from injustice. As girls, that was another thing we weren't supposed to show, either: anger. But I felt it nonetheless and came to recognise it as my worth letting me know when a situation wasn't right. That feeling of worth always began with an emotion, not a thought. I'd feel it first in the pit of my stomach and then it would rise into my heart.
When the Ugandan President Idi Amin in 1972 decreed that all Asians must leave Uganda, everyone in their town had already had their cars confiscated, sue to their proximity to the border. Escaping, wasn't easy, finding a car to take them and getting through roadblocks, where any small reason could result in trigger happy soldiers punishing defiance. One of the most tense moments in the books happens when Bharti's mother is confronted over her mixed race daughter.
In England, they would encounter fresh challenges, in school, in the neighbourhood, another country where they were perceived as unwelcome foreigners. At 15, Bharti announced she intended to change her name, having had enough of the teasing. Her mother explained the cultural significance of her name and she earned another truth.
I realise now, it was because I felt the need to project a certain image, or to say or do things, just to fit in or not lose friends. But when we do that, we're accepting others' definition of our value, rather than our own.
People who know your worth accept you just as you are. If you have to change anything about yourself to get others to love you, then you're denying your sense of worth, thereby crushing the strength that comes from self-belief and self-love.
Her reflections on compassion and empathy are enlightening and model a nurturing way to embrace our humanity and practice them as acts of self-care.
Being able to see from the forgiveness perspective creates distance between you - you become the observer rather than the victim. When you're stuck in a place of anger, hatred and rejection, I believe your self-esteem cannot grow.
By the end of the book, her life will have come full circle as she too becomes a mother and a protector of children in her role as a social worker and shares 15 affirmation to boost self-worth.
August 16, 2021
An incredible story of a girl/woman who beat the odds.
Born to a woman who abandoned her on the side of the road, Bharti was destined to a life of misery until she was adopted by an Indian family who loved and cared for her. Illness, loss, upheaval, and bullying took their toll at times, but through faith, a loving family, and a positive sense of self-worth, Bharti survived to live a purposeful life and become a mother herself.
Born to a woman who abandoned her on the side of the road, Bharti was destined to a life of misery until she was adopted by an Indian family who loved and cared for her. Illness, loss, upheaval, and bullying took their toll at times, but through faith, a loving family, and a positive sense of self-worth, Bharti survived to live a purposeful life and become a mother herself.
Read
December 14, 2022The opening line of the Introduction: “This book is for anyone who is ready to build their self-worth and sense of belonging” stands for me, within the echelons of Ageless Wisdom traditions that say, ‘Know Thyself’ and ‘Physician, Heal Thyself’.
The unique journey and story that is Bharti Dhir, also has parallels in all social and communal human experiences. Though the exact encounters and circumstances may vary, it is uncanny how one can relate through first- and second-hand footprints and witness. To truly know and experience life, we have to begin with ourselves – a very tall demand which we only begin to understand as we grow older. And we can only do this through our relationships with others – fellow human beings and, also the whole composition of the natural world. Sometimes we awaken through our own reflections. Occasionally guide posts, stepping stones, tragedy and comedy offer clues and cracks for us to open and explore. No one takes us there, which is why another piece of wisdom says: “When the Pupil is Ready, the Teacher will be Found Waiting”!
Bharti’s is a “story of abandonment, exile, inner strength, and belonging”. I add, – especially of a girl, the full import of which is truly only understood in the context of how man has perceived, viewed and used, women through all ages and customs and traditions. And this is still current both in struggle to change in some societies, and the sad entrenchment in other developed and developing cultures. We are the product of mental and social conditioning from the moment of conception and sub-conscious bias pervades even our instinctual responses and behaviours. Dare we reflect on this conditioning, take and own responsibility for change, and help make living a communal life worth loving?
Judicious use of language narrates and captures for the reader a story that compellingly causes one to ponder into the beyond of events. Bharti not only pours her heart’s yearning for worth, but she is also at the same time inspiring anyone who can and is ‘ready’ to discover the rays of hope within.
From knowing who we are, even if the journey is just beginning, through better understanding ourselves and others, we are better placed to choose how we want to live and contribute. What is our quest going to be – from that congruence of head and heart? Bharti found her God within and through that discovered her true calling as a social worker. For me, no academic or professional development is complete without this kind of self-discovery which Bharti Dhir so generously shares.
What is your worth?
The unique journey and story that is Bharti Dhir, also has parallels in all social and communal human experiences. Though the exact encounters and circumstances may vary, it is uncanny how one can relate through first- and second-hand footprints and witness. To truly know and experience life, we have to begin with ourselves – a very tall demand which we only begin to understand as we grow older. And we can only do this through our relationships with others – fellow human beings and, also the whole composition of the natural world. Sometimes we awaken through our own reflections. Occasionally guide posts, stepping stones, tragedy and comedy offer clues and cracks for us to open and explore. No one takes us there, which is why another piece of wisdom says: “When the Pupil is Ready, the Teacher will be Found Waiting”!
Bharti’s is a “story of abandonment, exile, inner strength, and belonging”. I add, – especially of a girl, the full import of which is truly only understood in the context of how man has perceived, viewed and used, women through all ages and customs and traditions. And this is still current both in struggle to change in some societies, and the sad entrenchment in other developed and developing cultures. We are the product of mental and social conditioning from the moment of conception and sub-conscious bias pervades even our instinctual responses and behaviours. Dare we reflect on this conditioning, take and own responsibility for change, and help make living a communal life worth loving?
Judicious use of language narrates and captures for the reader a story that compellingly causes one to ponder into the beyond of events. Bharti not only pours her heart’s yearning for worth, but she is also at the same time inspiring anyone who can and is ‘ready’ to discover the rays of hope within.
From knowing who we are, even if the journey is just beginning, through better understanding ourselves and others, we are better placed to choose how we want to live and contribute. What is our quest going to be – from that congruence of head and heart? Bharti found her God within and through that discovered her true calling as a social worker. For me, no academic or professional development is complete without this kind of self-discovery which Bharti Dhir so generously shares.
What is your worth?
September 17, 2021
My family are also exiled Ugandan Asians and I’m mixed race so it was great to read the words of someone who really understands such similar experiences. Life in the UK hasn’t always been so great for us all. Similarly, I studied criminology with law modules and found a career in charity work. I have dreams of adopting a little girl and have struggled with what ‘worth’ means for years. This is a great little read for anyone who wants to learn more about history, humanity today, finding your worth and finding true purpose.
February 7, 2023
Enjoyed the historical part about Uganda. "Enjoyed" is wrong word because it was terrible but it was educational. Also understanding what this child was up against in the UK and the prejudices faced there as well as the cultural aspects. I wasn't as interested in her personal emotional journey to self acceptance and forgiveness as I was the historical accounts. The book shifted to a personal diary as she attempted to tie it together awkwardly.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 15, 2021
What an honour to be allowed a glimpse into Bhartis life and all that she has faced along the way. I have always admired her as a colleague as her work is exemplary and now admire her all the more. How wonderful she is for choosing and working well to make the lives of so many children better as a response to the difficulties she has faced. A wonderful, honest, uplifting read!
February 25, 2025
A sadly true story of abandonment, followed by a challenging childhood. Thank goodness for such a wonderful adoptive mother and Bharti's strong faith. Despite her struggles, she's come out on top. Definitely a book worth reading.
April 5, 2021
Couldn't put this book down. Well recommended.
August 10, 2022
Really nicely put together memoir. Gripping story and an incredibly uplifting theme.
July 6, 2023
A beautiful and heartwarming story about a woman who overcomes so many adversities and claim her worth.
October 7, 2023
Compelling, gripping, extremely readable.
It explores themes that remain current in many societies, loss & grief, acceptance & self-acceptance, forgiveness of those who have hurt you deeply. Self-worth which springs from self-acceptance. Exile, asylum & courage & fortitude which eventually builds our resilience. Faith and the belief in the Divine and survival.
The memoir is about Bharti Dhir who was born in Uganda, abandoned on the roadside, adopted by a Punjabi Sikh family. Like many Indian families she was expelled from Uganda during the time of Idi Amin Dada who had engineered a coup. She grew up in a loving and supportive family.
It explores themes that remain current in many societies, loss & grief, acceptance & self-acceptance, forgiveness of those who have hurt you deeply. Self-worth which springs from self-acceptance. Exile, asylum & courage & fortitude which eventually builds our resilience. Faith and the belief in the Divine and survival.
The memoir is about Bharti Dhir who was born in Uganda, abandoned on the roadside, adopted by a Punjabi Sikh family. Like many Indian families she was expelled from Uganda during the time of Idi Amin Dada who had engineered a coup. She grew up in a loving and supportive family.
March 21, 2021
Sometimes when I read a book it just makes your heart ache. How and why do situations like this happen? Then when you get to the future you realize it is just as it should be. A very powerful story. I listened to this on the Hay House Unlimited App. Goodreads doesn't have it listed as an audiobook yet. This is one of those stories that give you pause to reflect on your life. What is it telling you? What is it teaching you? What is in store for your future?
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews