Doctor who and the Pirate Planet

Doctor Who: Target Books #100

by James Goss

This all-new Target novelisation is based on the televised version of The Pirate Planet

The hugely powerful Key to Time has been split into six segments, all of which have been disguised and hidden throughout time and space. Now the even more powerful White Guardian wants the Doctor to find the pieces. With the first segment successfully retrieved, the Doctor, Romana and K-9 trace the second segment of the Key to the planet Calufrax. But when they arrive at exactly the right point in space, they find themselves on exactly the wrong planet - Zanak.

Ruled by the mysterious 'Captain', Zanak is a happy and prosperous planet. Mostly. If the mines run out of valuable minerals and gems then the Captain merely announces a New Golden Age and they fill up again. It's an economic miracle - so obviously something's very wrong...

For a much expanded version based on Douglas Adams' first draft scripts, check out BBC Books' hardback edition of The Pirate Planet".

Genres: Doctor Who, Science Fiction, Fiction, Media Tie In, Science Fiction Fantasy

183 pages, Paperback

First published March 11, 2021

About the author

James Goss has written two Torchwood novels and a radio play, as well as a Being Human book. His Doctor Who audiobook Dead Air won Best Audiobook 2010. James also spent seven years working on the BBC's official Doctor Who website and co-wrote the website for Torchwood Series One. In 2007, he won the Best Adaptation category in the annual LA Weekly Theatre Awards for his version of Douglas Adams' novel Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

Reviews

[Ken · Rating 4 out of 5]

The second story in the Key to Time arc of season 16 finally got its long-awaited Target novelisation release recently and makes such a welcome addition to the set.

Goss having already written a few of Adams scripts for the series has perfectly captured his voice in this more condensed version of the story.

A really faithful retelling that has all the humour and spark of and Adams story, whilst fits perfectly into the range.
One particular favourite element is Goss referring to the tracer as the Locatormutor Core as mentioned in Ian Marters take on the first book in The Doctor and Romana's quest.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Achei divertido. Agora é procurar os outros. Principalmente do 4th e seu cachecol muito útil.

[Daniel Kukwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, as this little book is happy to remind you, this is the TARGET version of "The Pirate Planet". The original hardcover novelization of this story was an extravaganza of hilarity, extra material from earlier drafts, and wry & dry humour. That book was on par with Gareth Roberts' "Shada" adaptation...and highly recommended. But this little volume is a more straightforward adaptation of what was on TV, akin to all the other Target books...but it doesn't disappoint. It manages to do the TV version justice while adding its own extra layers of humour...and I burst out laughing on more than one occasion. Sweet and delightful, down to the final page recommendation on what you can do with the original hardcover adaptation.

[Joe Tobin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say, I enjoyed this more than any Who book I've read in a long time. It was fun to read; it had moments of humor that were reminiscent of Douglas Adams (which Goss has some experience with creating). The pacing was good; the story was interesting. I am definitely interested now in reading the longer version.

[Andrew Roberts · Rating 4 out of 5]

An unexpected delight to find some more of
Douglas Adams’ writing in my first foray into the written world of Doctor Who. It felt like reading an episode, and that’s in a good way.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Half way through and I've no idea what's going on!

[Sophie Crane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Continuing in the trend established in the novelisations of ‘Shada’ and ‘City of Death’, this is another previously non-novelised Fourth Doctor story that admirably captures the wit and approach of Douglas Adams whilst maintaining the essence of the onscreen version. It is another more than admirable effort from James Goss who was also responsible for the superb novelisation of ‘City of Death’.

Whereas ‘City of Death’ was fairly loyal to the onscreen version with some extra inclusions, ‘The Pirate Planet’ contains such a considerable bulk of new material that the story is somewhat different. This is all to the better and suggests this is possibly in the area of what Adams might have intended if not constricted by the medium in which the story was originally told. Much of what has been included, or indeed possibly reinserted, actually improves the structure of the story and results in it making more sense.

The reasoning and explanations for these alterations and additions are given detailed attention in a whole plethora of extra material (almost special feature like) included in various appendices. They form an informative and interesting enlightenment upon what Adams was intending and various directions he may have possibly taken the story. Likewise, they do the same for Goss’s mindset in approaching the novelisation process. There is a wealth of knowledge here that is as entertaining as the story.

One of the most striking elements is the hint that Adams may have at one point considered that the character that eventually became Queen Xanxia would be a female incarnation of the Master.

One of the major improvements of the novelisation is in how much more expansive and developed the characters are. Romana and K-9 particularly benefit from this and rarely have all the doctor’s companions had such strong roles in the action and events of a story. Much is made of Romana coming to terms with the eccentricities of the Doctor and how he does things. The story charts how she can’t help but find herself warming to him despite the way he appears to defy everything she has learnt on Gallifrey. It is the early stages of why she decides to stay in E-Space and how her character has later been treated in the Big Finish audios since she parted from the Doctor.

The treatment of the Captain also stands out in that there is a lot more pathos created for him. He is given quite a substantial backstory and more is made of his uneasy alliance with/employment under Xanxia. The reader comes to understand him and hi motivations more at the same time as the Doctor does. It is an interesting take on the blustering, brash villain onscreen.

This is another great novelisation of one of those stories not covered by the target books, making you glad that it wasn’t so that it could be novelised now.

[Jason Bleckly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read the extended HC version back in 2017 when it first came out. I was less than impressed. The review I wrote back then reads:

The characterisation of both the Doctor and Romana was wrong. The attempt to mimic Douglass Adam's "Hitch-Hikers' Guide" narrative styling failed. The Pirate Planet is one of my favourite Classic Who stories and this novelisation basically fails in every regard. The plot is there, but the soul of the story is dead.

So how do I think the recent Target rewrite compares?

The rewritten Target is much, much better. The Doctor and Romana are recognisable as the characters from the TV. There’s still a half dozen failed attempts at Hitcher Hikers asides that need pruning. Even Douglas Adams recognised at the time that the style he made famous in Hitch Hikers wasn’t suited to Doctor Who. The story still has his humour in it, but toned down to an appropriate level. And this rewrite by James much more accurately reflect the TV episode. Although the Captain having a beard is a bit weird. And he seems much more mechanical than he is in the TV episodes.

Whenever I re-read this story, it will always be the Target version.

[Finlay O'Riordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do so love the Target novels. They are magical, and it's a beautiful thing to see them alive and well more than half a century later, still turning stories from all three distinct eras of the show into prose.

So, it's a shame that some of the Target magic is lost on James Goss. I don't deny that he did a fab job at novelising this story - and I really did enjoy reading it - but I do wish he had toned down his 'wild' and 'wacky' tone a bit, with less parentheses and author one-liners. At times, his writing style feels more like he's writing a mockumentary of the original story rather than trying to novelise it.

Sure, that approach works for his novelisations of 'The Giggle' and 'Lux' since those are pretty flamboyant, meta stories anyway, but for a Fourth Doctor gem such as this, it does take you out of the story somewhat.

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating 4

A good Target style retelling of the tv story.
Condensed (or concentrated) obviously but still gives the reader the story, the characters and the adventure.
I enjoyed this quite a bit even if I am now way outside the age range the Target books were aimed at originally, although I did spend quite a lot of pocket money buying them as they were published back in the 1970’s.
I also enjoyed this more than the originally published expanded version which apart from story expansions had a lot of Douglas Adams style humour which didn’t really hit the mark for me. In fact none of the longer DA doctor who novels have been that successful for me.
A nice bit of nostalgia I think and also a good read for newcomers to the word of old Who.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this! So much fun to read. There are three long Doctor Who Novels by Douglas Adams of which Pirate Planet is one. Having read City of Death and Shada, I was eager to read this one as well, but I was a little concerned because those had dragged at times.

This Target novel is just the right length and speed for Douglas Adams/Doctor Who and it felt so much like one of the Hitchhiker's books at many times. E.g.

"The Doctor laughed like a madman on a burning rollercoaster as his time machine melted faster than a watch on Salvador Dali's barbeque."

It's a lot of stuff like that that makes this book so much fun and such a fast read. The writing is superb; you can really imagine a Doctor Who episode as you're reading this (though I had never seen this particular episode).

[Andrew Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Goss' development of Douglas Adams unmade story Doctor Who and the Krikketmen. This story, which was made, is told in a similar ebullient style, but I regretted reading the vanilla Target version rather than the extended version, which I suspect allowed him more room to develop the plot and dialogue. On screen it was a mid-range episode - comedic moments with some under-explored bigger themes crowded out by the Captain's larger than life performance. The book elevates it a little, but it's still not a classic like City of Death.

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too terrestrial for an alien setting

One of the most important themes of Doctor Who is drawing parallels between alien worlds and contemporary Britain. But here the idea fails. The TARDIS wobbled like 'a caravan on a precipice' in a jarringly terrestrial simile. The planet Zanak has letterboxes that can be shouted through. Romana, who has not yet been to Earth, thinks of washing machines and dust sheets.

And the depiction of the Captain, a villain with metal prosthetics, plays to a disablist trope.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick, easy read like all the Dr Who Target books.
This story was mostly Doctor centered. Not too much time away from the Doctor.
I enjoyed the massive concepts in this story. The true terror and tragedy of what happened wasn’t dug into enough in my opinion. There was one moment where it seemed like the real horror of what was done would seep in, but then the story moved on.
I also appreciate the conflicted character of the Captain.
Enjoyable read, like most of these adventures.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Technically not just an abridgement of the 2017 edition as there are a few alterations here and there, and Goss's narrative voice remains strong - I think if this existed on its own it would be a very respectable novelisation. Still, my own personal preference is always going to be for the expanded version based on the draft scripts, since I'm given the option; The Pirate Planet as it was on TV already exists, on my DVD shelf.

[Sarah Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't seen the TV story yet, so this was a different experience from the other Target books I've read. I have a feeling, as with City of Death, that the comedy would come across much better on TV. I love the idea of the robot parrot, and the revelation of the hollow planet jumping about the Universe was great.

[Andy Angel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed it well enough but the humour didn't work for me I'm afraid - almost as if the authors were trying too hard.
I've been a fan of The Doctor and the TV novelisations since childhood so it was, good to go back to a story I remember fondly. I'd forgotten enough that there were still plenty of surprises

3.5/5

[John Peel · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of the final few original "Doctor Who" stories is finally novelized, and... it's okay. Nothing special, but the original story was nothing special, either. Blustering villains, silliness and Universe-shaking menaces combine to go nowhere in particular.

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the cut down version of James Goss' adaptation of Douglas Adam's bonkers Who tale, for the revived Target range. It didn't feel abridged and flowed well, capturing the full eccentricity of the original story, with a few entertaining additions.

[Sandy Broadwill · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. A palate cleanser. Perfect short read for those who love 70s sci-fi or cartoons. Great characterization with a Douglas Adams flair that had me grinning. Would recommend to middle-grade readers and up.

[Ian Banks · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of my favourite Who stories is finally novelised and it’s ok. It focuses way too much on the comedy until the final act which is quite jarring, especially given the original author’s thoughts on comedy, but it’s a competent retelling of a little too pleased with itself.

[Gordon Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Certainly a more enjoyable read than the original elongated hardback edition

[Tim Rideout · Rating 5 out of 5]

A joyful adaptation of a wonderful Doctor Who story.

[Nathan Steinmetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goss absolutely nails the characters and Douglas Adams' humor.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, action packed fast read adventure with the Doctor!

[Colin Hayes · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was a time back in the 70s and 80s when it wasn't possible to watch any of the existing episodes of Doctor Who through the wizardry of video and DVD. As a Doctor Who fan the only way to relive past stories or to get to know the stories that you hadn't seen was through the Target novelisations of the broadcast stories. Over these years most stores were novilised with just a handful of exceptions that weren't done for rights issues. These have now been novelised by BBC books under the Target banner meaning that now all stories from classic Doctor Who have been released in book form (along with a number of stories from more recent Doctor Who episodes). The Pirate Planet is one of these newer novelisations.

The original script was written by the late Douglas Adams creator of Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. The book has been written by James Goss based on Adams original scripts. Goss adopts a light hearted tone attempting to copy Adams style in books like 'Hitchhikers.' Although he doesn't quite manage to clone the master his style is humorous and there are laughs to be found. He does a good enough job of adapting the script, although for me the story doesn't really stand out all that much.

What was a little disappointing was to find out after reading the book that a much longer version if the book has been published where James Goss expands upon the televised script, this version is based on Adams much longer first drafts of the script. If I'd have known that previous I'd have probably read that version. I don't feel like revisiting the story for now but in time I may do. It may be interesting to compare both versions.

In summary an adequate retelling of the original story and a nice light hearted read.

[Ian Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

Great story brought back happy times Tom Bakers Doctor was always fantastic. Douglas Adams writes the character brilliantly he is sadlly missed.

[Kieran McAndrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

The second part of the Key to Time should be on the planet Calufrax, but when the Doctor and Romana travel there, Calufrax is nowhere to be found.

James Goss adapts the scripts well to create a fun novel in the style of the Target novelisation series.