Running Down a Dream: A Memoir

by Candy Palmater

A powerful, often funny, always inspiring memoir from a beloved comedian, professional orator, actor, entertainer, gone all too soon.

Candy Palmater loved to connect with people. She lived for the stage, her effervescent presence on television and radio ignited and inspired audiences, touching them with her warm, often spicy humour as well as her positive message about love and kindness. And she always believed that it is never too late to pursue our dreams and that we should never allow others to negatively influence our life’s desires.

Candy described herself as a queer Mi’kmaw lawyer-turned-comic raised by bikers in rural New Brunswick and on the surface, she met with enormous success – on leaving government and the practice of law, she started a career as a stand-up comedian, which led to starring in five successful seasons of her own national TV show, hosting many radio shows and co-guest hosting CTV’s The Social, and landing a recurring role on a hot new sitcom in her fifties. But she is the first to tell you she made all kinds of mistakes and experienced all kinds of failure along the way. Running Down a Dream is Candy’s story, in her own words, of the highs, the lows, the moments of doubt, the turning points when she listened to her gut and tuned out all the people saying no. It’s also a tribute to her family and the love that always bolstered her, despite their own hard times. She shares her stories to inspire us to embrace our failures and to believe in ourselves. And most importantly, Running Down a Dream is a call to love ourselves for who we are.

The world lost Candy in late 2021, and yet she left us with this gift -- a memoir and a message that will inspire us for years to come. 

Genres: Memoir, Canada, Indigenous, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Autobiography, LGBT

301 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 18, 2022

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was so sad when Candy died tragically last Christmas, thankfully her partner was able to see her book published and does a great job in her notes at the beginning and end. I didn't know much about Candy's life but it was incredible to hear her story coming from humble roots in New Brunswick and finding success later in life. I loved that her book emphasized these three things:

1. It's never too late
2. You will fail
3. You are enough

She struggled with her weight and fitting in as a Metis woman in a very white, corporate lawyer firm. She also was in a toxic relationship for many years, only finding more happiness later as she explored her bisexuality and found a new partner. Highly recommended and good on audio too! The chronic pain and advanced osteoarthritis rep in this book was also very well written!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Candy often introduced herself as "a gay, Native, recovered-lawyer-turned feminist comic." She had a vibrant career that included national television, radio, speaking engagements, and comedy shows. I found Candy through her Youtube channel and I watched her channel for many years. She inspired me as an Indigenous woman, a woman who loved beauty products, loved reading, and someone who was clearly a storyteller. When Candy passed away on December 25th, 2021, the world lost a shining star. When she passed, I knew her memoir was being released. I had already pre-ordered it and I couldn't wait to read it. I was ecstatic when I received an advanced copy for review purposes. Running Down a Dream is now a posthumous memoir, and one that I'm so happy Candy had a chance to complete before she passed.

Full review found on my blog:

https://www.littlecornerofmine.com/20...

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Almost a year since her sudden passing, gone too soon, Candy had finished this memoir but it’s been published posthumously. She is candid, funny and inspiring. She had many challenges in her life but her spirit was indomitable. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by Aaliya Warbus who did a lovely job of it, but in my mind it was Candy’s beautiful, deep voice I heard. Candy’s manager and partner Denise Tompkins wrote the touching forward.

[E.M. Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Candy Palmater was one of my favourite radio personalities. I first became aware of her work when she auditioned as the new host of CBC q, a popular radio show in Canada.

She didn't get the job (which says more about CBC than it does about her), but she ended up guest hosting and taking advantage of many other media opportunities, including stints on The Trailer Park Boys, guest hosting The Social on CTV, and getting her own radio show with CBC. Prior to that, she also hosted a variety show on APTV called The Candy Show for five seasons.

This posthumous memoir covers less from those years than I was expecting, but it's possible that those gaps would have been addressed in the editing process. Tragically, Palmater passed away on Christmas Day in 2021 while this book was being readied for publication.

The memoir does introduce Candy's loving New Brunswick family, including her Mi’kmaq father, her non-Indigenous mother, and her six older brothers and sisters. As the family's baby, Candy benefitted from her father's sobriety and her older siblings' ability to help raise her, and her stories about them are warm, affectionate and help to trace origins for her self-described queer punk lifestyle. She also talks about meeting her wife, Denise (who later became her manager) and coming out later in life as a queer woman.

She also describes her outlook on life and her extraordinary ability to hold space for what was possible. The ballet story--about holding space for your dreams to show up in unexpected ways--was my favourite.

It's a lasting shame that Palmater wasn't able to record an audiobook version of her life story as only she could deliver it. After finishing the book, I went looking for recent podcast appearances and found a couple recorded during the pandemic.

She talked about her desire to survive Covid-19, her plans for her book and her insight into being an Indigenous queer woman in Canadian media. It's bittersweet to listen to someone so full of life and plans, and to know they were only partially realized.

You can listen to Palameter's appearances on the Stuart Knight Show and Mulligan Meets Canadians.

If you don't have time for that, here are a few quotes from the Mulligan interview where Palmater talked about being late to a career in the arts and her advice to younger creatives:

Wait for the audience to find you. Whatever you have, somebody out there wants it. Don’t let other people move you off your square.

Be coachable. Be open to advice. But make sure you’re being coached by someone who has skill. If you're too malleable, someone will mold what makes you special right out of you.

Not everyone is going to love you. If you keep waiting for that, you’re never going to feel successful. Find the people who want what you’re putting down.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5
Beautiful memoir. The only thing missing is pictures. I think it would have really enhanced the book.

[Maearle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t know Candy until she started hosting q on CBC radio. I loved listening to her smooth voice and her fun loving and intelligent interviews. I started to learn more about her growing up in NB and her views on feminism and equality rights. This book shared a lot of her early life and the many challenges she faced in both her profession and personal life. It is very sad that we no longer have her to encourage us to run down that dream. There are many lessons to be learned from her book.

[Enid Wray · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I was crying - yes, in tears… happy-sad tears - listening to the Foreword I was feeling pretty confident that this was going to be a total winner for me. Sadly, as much as I enjoyed this title, I’m left feeling wanting.

To be clear, I listened to the audiobook - and I think that has coloured by take on this title. To be clear, it’s not that there was anything wrong with the narration!!... it was very well done. But… it wasn’t Candy’s voice - and let’s face it, her voice was distinctive. I was listening to Candy’s words, but I wasn’t hearing Candy…. This wasn’t Candy talking to me.

I also think that there were some pretty major structural - organisational issues - with this title… that presumably might have been addressed had she not passed away - so sadly - when she did.

Notwithstanding the above, I’m glad that she left us with this and that I listened to it. This is an important contribution to the growing body of work, that of Canadian Indigenous memoirs.

3.5 rounded up to 4

[Care · Rating 5 out of 5]

Candy Palmater gave us so many gifts through her work and personality. She was herself a gift to the world. Running Down a Dream is her final gift to us. I'm so grateful that she was able to finish this work before her passing and that she was so candid, funny, intimate, and willing to share this with the public. It was a pleasure to read about her life and her family, bringing her bright energy back to the forefront of my mind. Within these pages, we had her again. She was gone too soon, but her words are here to comfort us.

content warnings: Alcohol, Colonisation, Death, Death of parent, Drug use, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Medical content, Racism, Sexism, Toxic friendship, Addiction, Car accident, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Toxic relationship, Bullying, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Pregnancy

[Taryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This made me so sad. It opened and closed with notes from Denise and it hurt my whole heart. It's such a great loss to not have Candy with us anymore. She was so strong and beautifully individual, firm in her beliefs and convictions and truly wanting to pave paths and make this world a better place. She's such a fantastic storyteller, you can't help but be immersed in each and every recollection as if you were there yourself. It's so hard to believe she's gone, but I am so grateful she was able to leave this behind for us.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible biography. I love biographies but this one was particularly special as I could identify with so much of her in this book. I loved listening to Candy on Because News, the CBC's satirical comedy news show. She was a powerful voice and her memoir revealed so much more about her than I already knew. Sad she is gone. But so grateful she finished her manuscript, what a gift she left us.

[Cindy Mac Jac · Rating 5 out of 5]

Candy 🍭 NEVER stopped Chasing her dreams, I had the privilege of hearing her speak twice and it was life affirming.

Gone too soon 😭

[Candace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I sadly didn’t know who she was before picking up this book. I will try to find her show.
3.5

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first came across Candy when she was a guest host on CBC's Q. I loved listening to her voice on the radio. It was very distinctive, and her vibrant, intelligent, and warm personality instantly shone through! I always enjoyed when I heard her on the CBC on various shows, and I was lucky enough to see some of the episodes of The Candy Show on TV. She had a great sense of humor and had the remarkable gift of being able to connect with people from all walks of life. Like all her fans, I was very sad to hear about her unexpected passing in December 2021. She had so much more to give this world. It's wonderful that her memoir was published posthumously. Candy touched countless with her beautiful spirit and generous heart, and this book is part of the special legacy she left behind. Thank you Candy!

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I accidentally gobbled up this book too fast. I have learned so much from Candy over the years. She is so missed. I am grateful she left this gem to remind us to run down our dreams. Life is too short. Thank you for sharing her with us, Denise. Miss you, Candy. xo

[Heidi Madden · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's something sad about reading a memoir from someone when you know their story ends in their death. That knowledge overshadowed this book all throughout. I learned about Candy Palmater through her radio program "The Candy Show" and her guest hosting on Q on CBS Radio. I followed her on social media for the last year or two of her life where she mentioned that she was writing this book. I was even able to tell her how much I was anticipating it and she replied giving the estimated publication date. When she died on Christmas Day, 2021, I along with many fans, mourned for her. Definitely a big bright light gone from the world.

The book itself was on the shorter side and I feel like I could have sat and listened to hours more worth of stories. She lived an fascinating life and learned so much in her 53 short years. She managed to cram a lot into this book and I got an excellent linear understanding of the events that shaped her. I could write so much more about the contents and her reflections but, bottom line is, I recommend it.

As an aside, I was reading a print copy of this book at the same time I was listening to Graham Norton's "The Life and Loves of a He-Devil" There are obvious parallels of working in radio/tv, both identifying as queer, growing up as somewhat of a minority. If you enjoyed Running Down a Dream I recommend Norton's book as well.

[Katsmewsings · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a huge fan of Candy’s CBC personality. I was devastated when I heard of her passing. I’m glad this book was released posthumously and I got a chance to know her unique life a bit more.

[Mary B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candy Palmeter's Memoir was one of many undertakings Candy began during the Covid era. She barely got to its conclusion before she was taken from us unexpectedly on Christmas day, 2021 at the age of 53. This is not a spoiler, as it was widely known at the time and is expressed from the beginning of the book. Her wife/partner/manager took over the project to ensure it was completed as Candy had intended.
Goodreads describes the book as "A powerful, often funny, always inspiring memoir from a beloved comedian, professional orator, actor, entertainer, gone all too soon." Candy often described herself as "a queer, Indigenous, recovered-lawyer-turned feminist comic who was raised by bikers . . . in northern New Brunswick."
I was a Candy fan as a result of her many appearances on radio, primarily - CBC in particular, and occasionally on TV, although I don't ever recall watching The Candy Show which ran successfully for several seasons. I loved her quick wit and humour; she was born for show business although she didn't know it for a long time. That's where she excelled and seemed most comfortable.
The first half (or more) of the book covers her early life spent in a small area of northern New Brunswick. We get an extensive look into her family dynamic & background as (I believe) she tries to understand herself. The youngest of 6 children, her closest sibling age-wise was 8 years older, while her closest sibling relationship-wise was her oldest brother, who was a grown man when Candy was born and often acted as a father figure to her.
Candy was a very intelligent girl but not highly motivated and often skipped her classes. She was a big, tall, athletic girl and found inspiration by times as a volleyball player, among other sports. She has fond memories of some of her teachers/mentors along the way.
University life didn't suit her well either, as she, like so many others, was far more interested in the social life than the academics. She was homeless at times and spent what little money she might have on anything but rent, etc.
Eventually, she wound up in Halifax, began a relationship with a man she called George, whom she described as the "love of her life" but it was a complicated relationship, yet they remained best friends for decades. Candy made the decision to attend law school; met Denise, whom she married; worked in the field of law for a while, but it did not give her the satisfaction she craved, and so it went.
Her career as an entertainer/comedienne started to take off - the CBC helped a lot - and finally, she & Denise made the move to Toronto to further her career.
There is so much more that she writes about but this kind of highlights most of the main points. It was quite informative and provided insights into a lot of different issues. The final point I will make is that she had so much more to give the world had she not had the health problems that plagued her. She was one-of-a-kind and is sadly missed.
As others have already observed, the only thing missing from this book would be photos.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating, affirming, uplifting and heartbreaking. The tone of her story is of gratitude, joy, humour, perseverance, authenticity, grace and strength. A sad veil is laid over the book since we know it’s a posthumous release, and opens up with a foreword by Denise detailing briefly the untimely, beautiful, tragic death of her partner. Denise’s voice is the powerful “sandwich” that Candy’s memoir becomes. Moreover, Candy references her own death several times throughout the book and there’s a strange peace that comes with it. She addresses early on how she didn’t feel it necessary to write a memoir up to this point, but something in her felt that this was the time to do so. Mysterious and magical. This book is truly a gift for the world, immortalizing her voice & incredible stories of her ancestors, family, childhood, womanhood & the lessons learned throughout it all. Candy’s perspectives and experiences as a queer Mi’kmaq Maritimer are even more special. I wish I’d known her while she was alive, but I am honoured to treasure this piece of her legacy now. May she rest in peace, united with her ancestors and her beloved family & friends lost along the way.

[Luciana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though Candy is no longer with us, she did an amazing job with her memoir & I thank her partner, Denise, for the before & after notes & for going ahead & sharing this book with us.

I didn't know who Candy Palmater was but I was so intrigued by the book jacket notes that I thought I'd pick it up. First of all, she was born in northern New Brunswick, the youngest in a very large family, her dad did what he needed to do to support his family, she was part Mik'maq, she was queer, she was a lawyer, she was a comic...she was a go-getter! What a fantastic job she did of sharing her life...easy to read, funny, sad, & uplifting. I loved her mottos....you are enough, you will fail, it's never too late to follow your dreams & your heart.

A great read!

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this one and it was an extremely engrossing and a fast read/listen. This is about Candy Palmater's life and her childhood in particular as well as her parent's origin stories I found truly fascinating and aching to know more. Candy grew up in Northern New Brunswick as a half Indigineous girl (Mi'kmaq). Her story on how she got to become a famous comedian and her experiences as a lawyer in Halifax were equally interesting, not to mention her dating men her entire life all to end up marrying a woman. Overall, she wrote this just before she passed away and it is sad that she never got the chance to promote or discuss her memoir at all. It is equally sad she died at the same age her older brother died. A highly recommended memoir about a famous comedian from Canada. 

[Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved Candy Palmater and was devastated when she passed. Never to hear her hearty laugh on the radio again was so very sad and I always love catching her reruns on Because News.

This book reads like Candy is telling you a story. Unfortunately, it was never completed and lacks editing which made it a bit difficult to get through. That’s not anyone’s fault as it was published posthumously but it does have an impact on the reading experience. Definitely a must-read for Candy fans but I’m not sure it would be a good intro to her for those unfamiliar with her work.

Three stars because of circumstances but otherwise would have rated it lower.

[Gil Segev · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was positively heartbreaking to read this book as a longtime fan of Candy's. Her untimely death is a tragedy that robbed the world of her charm and talents. The book does a lot to explain Candy's life, and her lessons about continually changing are worth hearing. What felt a little glosses over for me was Candy's transition from dating men to marrying a woman. I would have liked to hear more about her thoughts on the subject, although I suppose what she did share has to be understood as complete. Candy will always be missed.

[Anna-Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading this book on Christmas Day 2022, exactly a year after she passed away. I didn't know a ton about her history, but I knew that I enjoyed seeing her on the Social and on Canada Reads, and she was one of very few people that I follow on Goodreads as she was such a prolific reader. She was highly intelligent and articulate but I'm not sure that came through as strongly as I hoped it would. I'm sad that she didn't get to see how people are reacting to her memoir. Thank you Candy.

[Joyce Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I discovered Candy through CBC radio. I loved her humour and her voice; what she said and how she said it. When she did suddenly I was very sad fig her and her family but also felt that I had missed many moments of getting to know her. Then her memoir came out and I feel like I did know her. Her honest writing about her rocky ride kept me interested throughout. Her resilience and belief in chasing dreams really spoke to me. A fabulous woman!

[CLeibel · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first autobiography. I only heard of Candy through "The Next Chapter" on CBC and enjoyed her wit and directness. Her autobiography is the same. I wished she hadn't died as early as she did because I think she would have gone on to do many more epic things as an indigenous queer person, but perhaps she has, through her book.

[Christine Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Candy's story is fascinating. She was a one of a kind, bright light in this world. An advocate for many. I am only too sorry she didn't get to see the success of her printed novel. Candy loved to read, she loved to tell stories and she loved her friends and family like no other.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lovely, heartwarming, insightful, and engaging story. Thank you, Candy, for sharing your life with us. I wish I had known her in person, as I know she could have taught me so much. What a wonderful person she was.

[Courtney W · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can not recommend this book enough. I have been telling everyone who will listen how amazing this book is. If you only read one book for the rest of your life, this is it.

The world lost an incredible human when Candy left this world. However, her words and legacy will live on forever.

[CyGrrl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love Candy. Broke my heart when she passed. So grateful she wrote this book so her life experiences and perspective can resonate with others. She was a force of nature and so glad she left her mark. Positive messages.
Suitable for feminists and wannabe feminists, fans of biographies, Canadiana.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candy had an incredible life and she recounted it in a way that made it so, so easy to hear in her voice. I was a little bit disappointed that there were no photos, but I respect that there may have been reasons for that choice.