I'm Too Young to Be Seventy and Other Delusions

The Decades of a Woman's Life #6

by Judith Viorst, Laura Gibson (Illustrator)

The beloved bestselling author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty now tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with her usual wry good humor.

Fans of Judith Viorst's funny, touching, and wise poems about turning thirty, forty, fifty, and sixty will love this new volume for the woman who deeply believes she is too young to be seventy, "too young in my heart and my soul, if not in my thighs."

Viorst explores, among the many other issues of this stage of life, the state of our sex lives and teeth, how we can stay married though thermostatically incompatible, and the joys of grandparenthood and shopping. Readers will nod with rueful recognition when she asks, "Am I required to think of myself as a basically shallow woman because I feel better when my hair looks good?," when she presses a few helpful suggestions on her kids because "they may be middle aged, but they're still my children," and when she graciously -- but not too graciously -- selects her husband's next mate in a poem deliciously subtitled "If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should Take." Though Viorst acknowledges she is definitely not a good sport about the fact that she is mortal, her poems are full of the pleasures of life right now, helping us come to terms with the passage of time, encouraging us to keep trying to fix the world, and inviting us to consider "drinking wine, making love, laughing hard, caring hard, and learning a new trick or two as part of our job description at seventy."

I'm Too Young to Be Seventy is a joy to read and makes a heartwarming gift for anyone who has reached or is soon to reach that -- it's not so bad after all -- seventh decade.

Genres: Poetry, Humor, Nonfiction, Memoir, Adult, Womens, Relationships

64 pages, Hardcover

First published September 27, 2005

About the author

Judith Viorst is an American writer, newspaper journalist, and psychoanalysis researcher. She is known for her humorous observational poetry and for her children's literature. This includes The Tenth Good Thing About Barney (about the death of a pet) and the Alexander series of short picture books, which includes Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (1972), which has sold over two million copies.
Viorst is a 1952 graduate of the Newark College of Arts and Sciences at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey. In 1968, she signed the "Writers and Editors War Tax Protest" pledge, vowing to refuse tax payments in protest against the Vietnam War. In the latter part of the 1970s, after two decades of writing for children and adults, Viorst turned to the study of Freudian psychology. In 1981, she became a research graduate at Washington Psychoanalytic Institute after six years of study.

Reviews

[Elyse Walters · Rating 4 out of 5]

The last book I read by Judith Viorst [way too many times to count] with my kids and other kids - was “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”….along with at least another hundred thousand people of all ages….
But this morning I read what Judith Viorst had to say about being 70.
As…..I am 70 today.

The Table of Contents seems longer than the 81 pages….so I’m not ‘going there’…..(not going to share it)….
buy your own 81 page book for $10.99 if you’re ‘that’ curious…..haha
Yeah….
….Believe me I hesitated before spending $10.99 for 81 pages of 70-shenanigans.
So you see….we already know I should have my head examined….
…..(I read the many ‘don’t waste your money’ reviews, too…so now it’s doubly clear my head needs an examination)….
But
….pleasure me (along with my stupidity)….
as I share my thoughts about this 81 page book ….

Things I agree with gets a Cherry 🍒.

Things with a shrimp emoji 🍤(I’m highly allergic) I question or disagree.

…wear comfortable shoes .🍒

…Seventy isn’t old 🍤….well, yes, it’s not ninety, but having lost many friends to ‘death’ younger than me since the start of the pandemic—I think 70 is kinda old….(as in definitely less years ahead than already passed. 🍤

…Let us consider making love 🍒

…Judith shared a list of “things we 70 year olds probably never did (erotically speaking).
I totally disagree.
I did 7 out of those 10 things. I guess that makes me a 70 year old slut? —-hm? 🍤

…There was a chapter about teeth. I don’t have removable teeth, but I laughed so hard — I should be ashamed of myself.
I don’t have bleech teeth either.
Perhaps I should do something about that?
Send advice…I’m all ears. 🍒

…”Hmmm” > this chapter was just pure boring.
Who headlines a chapter “Hmmm”, anyway?
Reviewers got things right (for sure) with this chapter 🍤

…Lines on face? WHO CARES! and how perfect the world becomes when I take off my glasses. Silly stuff 🍤

…Time does go by fast 🍒

…”Am I a serious person if, along with Leo Tolstoy and Emily Dickinson, I also like reading People magazine?” Questionable but I’ll give her the cherry 🍒.

…” Still Married” > we can stop right here! YES … still married after 43 years and lucky me. I like this guy that I love. (double cherries) 🍒🍒

…Yes….my feet get cold 🍒

…Love to go to the movies? I use to - Covid completely knocked the desire right out of me - permanently I think too.,🍤

…Children …
Do our middle age children need our advice today? Apparently not ours.
Judith says yes — too many assumptions 🍤

…Grandchildren… we don’t have any. I fully respect both of our daughters choices.
Too many assumptions in this chapter too. 🍤

… The rest of the book is rather silly and trite.
Like I said:
I SHOULD HAVE had my head examined for buying this book….
🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤

But…..I get the overall message:
…..”celebrate ourselves”.

…..Seventy years in the Jewish tradition represents
‘lifetime’. At 70, one reaches seivah, meaning old age, though the word is associated with wisdom. 🍒

I’ll be spending the day at home - with close friends to celebrate…..🍒
Cheers to life,🍒
To Birthdays,🍒
To friendships,🍒
To love….🍒

Overall rating…..
……even though we all know this is not a 5 star book on its own merit….(negative reviews fully understandable)…
or probably not even 4 stars …..
I’m giving it 4 stars for good cheer and spirit ….🍒🍒🍒🍒
…..because on this day, May 24, 2022, ….on my 70th milestone birthday….
I’m feeling generous.

Happy Birthday to Bob Dylan too (apparently my twin)

Hugs and love to my friends … Expressing ‘hugs & love’ are real for me….
I authentically mean it, every time I repeat it!,🍒❤️

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect for the first book of the year for me. I turn seventy later this month, so it was written just for me, I'm sure!

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book of poems about turning 70. I expected this to be a laugh out loud funny book and while parts of it were humorous overall I felt the book fell flat.

[Nancy H · Rating 3 out of 5]

My sister 'treated' me to this book for my 'big' birthday. It was humorous and oh-so true!

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny! I definitely could relate.

[Deborah Kramb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting more wit and depth instead of a book of poems. Don't get me wrong the poems were clever and witty for the most part, although tending toward negativism at times. I loved Virost's earlier books - both those for adults and children - and am sorry this wasn't "more".

[Betty-Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightful, insightful humor

[Michele Owrutzky Endick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very cute short poems/ stories.
Some of her observations made me laugh outloud!
I wish it was longer… ultra quick read ( finished in prob 15 minutes) so I read it through twice.

I heard the author speak in person several years ago… delightful live presentation!

She has since written books about age 80 and 90.

[Lenore Kuipers-Cummins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second book I've read by Judith Violist, the first one about becoming 60. I'm going to be 70 in July, and I think exactly what the title says, "I'm Too Young to Be Seventy". The author pinpoints what goes on with yourself as you get older, and breaks the book into chapters: "At Seventy", "Still Married", " The Children and Grandchildren", and "The Rest of It". It is written in poetry.

One of the poems I especially enjoyed was entitled, " They May Be Middle Aged, But They're Still My Children". It talks about all of the things your children advise you to do at this age, and on the other side of the coin, the things you end up telling "But they could listen".

"Unlike a book, I can't start again from the beginning.
Unlike a video movie, I cannot re-wind.
The ice that is under my feet keeps on thinning and thinning.
Do I mind? Do I mind? You bet your sweet ass I mind."

[Dolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wry and witty, this is a fascinating book of poems that explores the life of a woman in her seventies. It's a quick read and offers a refreshing perspective. I can only hope that I am as vibrant and active in my seventies as she is. I picked out this book at our local library, from a display of poetry books for National Poetry Month. I recognized Judith Viorst as the author of several popular children's books, like Alexander and the Terrible,Horrible,No Good,Very Bad Day. I didn't know much about her poetry, but I thought I'd check it out. After reading this book, I realize that she has a series of poetry books that explore the various decades of a woman's life. I plan to read them all, perhaps in reverse order, since I started with seventy...

[Syd Perry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short book of 31 poems by an author whom I am familiar with because of her children's books. I saw the title at the library and totally judged a book by its cover. This time it paid off. The poems are mostly humorous, sometimes sweet, with whimsical line drawings illustrating each one of them.

Example:
The Sixth Grandchild:
Our number six has arrived,
The last but not the least.
How our happiness has increased since he made his debut.
How our family has increased. We used to be two
And now we set the table for fourteen.
Who knew, on that long-ago night when we first danced to "Begin the Beguine,"
What we were beginning!

I ordered SUDDENLY SIXTY (yeah, this is a series) because that is what has suddenly happened to me. These books would make great birthday gifts for women on their 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th or 70th birthdays.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Again, I needed to read some poetry for my new book club...I chose this one because I recognized the poet's name. She has written several children's books that I am familiar with, so I thought I would check out her poetry. She has apparently written several other books of poetry too and I will be looking for them in the library, because these were terrific! Some of them had me laughing out loud. They are so true to life!

[Libby · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a treat! Judith Viorst (Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day) writes for adults too, and she's charming, witty, literate, and straightforward. These little ditties on aging and themes that are universally important (health, love, family, death) are enjoyable. Nothing earth-shattering, but good and honest commentary presented in an entertaining way. 3.5 stars.

[Alyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Typical Judith Viorst- amusing, engaging, and light-hearted. I read it to my 81 year old mother and we both laughed riotously. This would made a grand present for anyone who is aging....

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spot-on reflections upon entering a new decade.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely light fare but a number of the poems made be laugh and many were certainly on point about facing my 70s.

[andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Viorst explores, among the many other issues of this stage of life, the state of our sex lives and teeth, how we can stay married though thermostatically incompatible, and the joys of grandparenthood and shopping. Readers will nod with rueful recognition when she asks, "Am I required to think of myself as a basically shallow woman because I feel better when my hair looks good?," when she presses a few helpful suggestions on her kids because "they may be middle aged, but they're still my children," and when she graciously -- but not too graciously -- selects her husband's next mate in a poem deliciously subtitled "If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should Take." Though Viorst acknowledges she is definitely not a good sport about the fact that she is mortal, her poems are full of the pleasures of life right now, helping us come to terms with the passage of time, encouraging us to keep trying to fix the world, and inviting us to consider "drinking wine, making love, laughing hard, caring hard, and learning a new trick or two as part of our job description at seventy."

[Terry Graybill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stretched this book out as long as I could, letting a few days go by between poems. I've been given the gift of discovering Judith Viorst’s decades books (as some call them), and found that the 70s book spoke just as powerfully as any of the rest.

How can I not be moved by a pair of lines such as:
“But the thing is, I’m still indeed here, and there appears to be more ahead,
And what am I planning to do with the rest of it?”
(from the middle of a poem entitled “The Rest of It”

I suspect the secret to enjoying this series is not to get too far ahead of where you are in life, but even suspecting that, I fully intend to peek ahead with the next two books in the series. I hope that you, too, will explore her books, starting with the 30s and working along to wherever you find yourself in life.

[Cass · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I'm definitely too young to be seventy but my oldest son sent me this book to remind me that I was born in 1949 and the big 7, O has hit me! I related all too well to many of these well written truths--I mean poems. My favorite had to be "Body Heat" where she writes how she is in the kitchen dressed in a sweater and fleece-lined jacket with the oven on as her husband sits there in a short sleeved shirt and bare feet asking if he can crack open the door. Then at night she is in bed suffering from heat prostration while her husband is lying right beside her with two blankets and flannel pajamas on asking to keep the window closed. They have become thermostatically incompatible! BINGO! That is exactly what is happening at our house! Oh I loved this little book!

[Jane Blanchard · Rating 4 out of 5]

For my seventieth birthday I was gifted I’m Too Young To Be Seventy: And Other Delusions by Judith Viorst. Some of the limericks made me chuckle, others made me reflect on a life well-lived.

The topics discussed are group into four sections: At Seventy, Still Married, The Children and Grandchildren, and The Rest of It. For me, most of the poems were relative in some for, if only to provide a chuckle.

If you are looking for a humorous and poignant gift for a new septuagenarian, I recommend I’m Too Young To Be Seventy.

[Mimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another collection of witty, astute, and insightful poems by Judith Viorst. Fun to read with quite a few laugh-out-loud moments!

At Seventy
Instead of "old"
Let us consider
"Older"
Or maybe "oldish"
Or something, anything. . .
At seventy.

Then there's the title piece:

I'm Too Young to Be Seventy
In the life that I'm living I'm
Too young to be seventy.
The woman I see in the mirror is not the real me. . .
As long as we can agree I'm
Too young to be seventy.
Too young in my heart and my soul

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a perfect book for me right now. Short, whimsical poems about being 70 and not quite believing it. Poems are grouped into: At Seventy; Still Married; The Children and Grandchildren; The Rest of It. Published in 2005, there's even one about telling the grandchildren about 9-11.
The poem "Re: Vision" ends with the perfect line:
"I'm absolutely thrilled
At how perfect the world becomes
When I take off my glasses."

[Nicole (bookwyrm) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really cute volume of poetry mostly focused on aging and reflecting on life & marriage – pretty much what you'd expect from the title. The illustrations in this volume are cute, too.

Note: I read this because I know someone turning 70 this year, and I was wondering if this would make a good gift. I still have many years to go to reach this point myself... and yet some of the commentary fits right in for me, too. You don't have to be nearing 70 to enjoy this.

[Suzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's Saturday night, my husband's asleep at seven p.m. and I'm reading I'm Too Young to Be Seventy because, well, I am. She is just as funny as she was when I read It's Hard To Be Hip Over Thirty way too many years ago. Now I've go to go back and fill in the years in between. I didn't have kids so I missed all the Alexander books. Maybe I'll read those, too. It's a long Covid year to stay home and stay safe. Thank heavens for books. Thank authors for books.

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of the book “I’m too young to be 70 and other delusions “ is definitely about delusions.

Very very humorous delusions - one is entitled erotic options. Quote:”I never greeted my husband at the door, naked, except for a necklace and high heeled shoes …if sex starts to become a fully a bore, I intend intend to consider letting loose.”

Some of the poems are a little silly and are hard pressed for rhyming.

But hey, let’s take it lightly and laugh all the way to our 90s.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous but valid verse about aging

I can't actually call this poetry but it's classic Judith Viorst. She's speaking to all of us who can't quite believe the age we've attained, can't understand how we've gotten here so fast, and are still waiting for the wisdom, enlightenment, and acceptance we expected to have by now.

It's a very short book - I finished it in about a half hour. Glad I got it on sale for $1.99

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect

I needed this book right now-at this very second. As I leave my beach house to go look for the “ rest of my life “ home. As I wonder about the grandkids and worry about my children, she has captured my life. I’ve just read 5 books about decluttering- what a better mood I’m in now.

[Sherri · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read many of Ms. Viorst's works and she never disappoints. This book as her tomes on turning thirty, forty, fifty and sixty is a series of poems. They are funny sometimes, serious at others. She has a knack for taking everyday occurrences and making them meaningful.

[Claudia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judith Viorst is my s-hero! Alexander, Barney, Lulu, Nonfiction, poetry. Oh, her poetry.

I've looked forward to her decades books since her first...on the 30's. This one made me laugh, cringe in recognition, nod wisely, and cry. Viorst is a national treasure.

[Marion · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another of Viorst’s light and amusing books of free verse poems about the changes each new decade brings. This one on 70 is a reckoning with stepping into the realities of reaching old age. She offers up many universal feelings about the aging process in a delightfully acerbic manner.