Coming Out, Again: Transition Stories

by Sabrina Symington

'We don't just come out once. We have to come out continually throughout our lives. And as we grow and change and reach a newfound understanding of who we are, we come out once again in a whole new way.'

Following the interconnected lives of a diverse queer community - including asexual, polyamorous, trans and autigender people - this empowering graphic novel explores the multitude of ways a person's identity and relationships can be expressed and can change over time. From Lily coming out as a lesbian after coming out as a trans woman, to Leanne embracing their genderqueer identity in later life, to Ty navigating their queerness with their autistic identity, these stories illustrate how life lived at the intersection of gender, sexuality, race and class is often a journey with many chapters.

Full of love and pride - as well as tips and advice - these witty, tender and inspiring narratives prove there is no wrong way to be who you are, so long as you are being true to yourself.

Genres: Graphic Novels, LGBT, Queer, Transgender, Comics, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction

144 pages, Paperback

Published March 18, 2021

Reviews

[Rod Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

An engaging and educational tour through the lives of a variety of LGBTQIA+ people. Everyone has those weird Little Orphan Annie Eyes, and they speak to their friends as if they are giving classroom lectures about transgender and racial issues, but it had information and perspectives I needed to expand my limited understanding, so I didn't mind much.

[Eva B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

There wasn't a single person in this book who talked like a real human being instead of a collection of progressive talking points--and even as someone who agrees with what they were saying, it got draining very quickly because every character interaction felt like a TED Talk. It was cool to see a follow-up on Lily and her mother (who's out now as a lesbian!) and I liked the characters, but since almost all of their page-time was dedicated to being The Poly One, The Autistic One, etc. it was more that I liked the concept of them than their actual personality. It's always nice to see so much diversity in a book (pretty much every character was trans, a bunch were poly, about half were people of color, and two were autistic) but that can't be its only strength in order to get a good rating.

[Liander (The Towering Pile) Lavoie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this graphic novel is trying to be too many things. As an educational book about trans/queer/poly identities, it's pretty good, but also assumes quite a bit of existing knowledge and uses words like "metamour" without explaining them. As a graphic novel with a story about an interconnected network of queer people, it's just ok. There are a lot of characters and sometimes I couldn't remember what the connections between them were. The plot was thin because mostly it was about pointing out all the different identities the characters had.

Like, I enjoyed reading it. It just left me wanting.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe a good introduction for folks in your life with very little understanding of the world beyond heteronormativity. Information is conveyed almost entirely through expository conversations, which felt cheap to me, and the pupil-less eyeballs weirded me out. Not my cup of tea.

[Saturniidead ★ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Content warnings are listed at the end of my review!

I read this with the hope in the almost 4 years after writing First Year Out: A Transition Story (My Review) there would be an improvement in Symington's writing, but unfortunately there is none. The only real difference in this is Symington works overtime to include more varied perspectives, rather than just a white, binary, straight, able bodied, financially stable, Mary Sue trans woman lead. This is good, however, the intersections present are discussed just as stiff and inorganically as First Year Out making it feel the same lack of depth and personality, which dampens connection to what little story there is and makes it hard to enjoy. It's a better idea off the bat, but still the execution fails to lift the idea off the ground once again.

So our cast this time is a smorgasbord of queer characters that all know or know someone who knows everyone, of course, and brings Lily and her parent back to show us how the two have grown. We first meet the transfeminine polyamorus throuple Artemis, Molly, and Saphire, and Molly's neighbor Ty runs into them who's partner Osprey throws a pride after party and is inviting everyone, that's the whole story. Each character serves as some kind of representation hub with not much else, and sometimes that representation just does not land well. What better for transfemmes to talk about but pickles, what better bonding measure for neurodivergent people than legos, no better place for transmascs to go than the gym, and no better place than to uplift ace people and have the only ace character's partner have another relationship to fill in the gap (Not to say this does not happen, but when it's the only ace character, it isn't that great to treat them as an incomplete partner. The ace character consents to this arrangement, but as I said, when it's the only ace character in an educationally geared book, ace people can be fulfilling partners in monogamy as well.) There's a nice amount of racial diversity if you can stomach a white person writing a Persian character's experiences with racism and making every dark skintone this lifeless ashy gray instead of rich browns.

Once again the dialogue has the same exact fault of being over planned and forced:
"Besides, Polyam is something that is very central in your life. It makes sense that your thoughts would dwell on it and you'd be looking for outlets to express them."
"Yeah, it's kinda what we queers have to do. We have to navigate the world outside of the mainstream, and that requires continual discussion and reflection on a level that isn't required of cishets."

There's even some odd inconsistencies and errors- like when Osprey is talking to Leanne the conversation out of nowhere jumps to Leanne being weirded out that Osprey's partner Ty is dating Max as well, when Osprey and Leanne are making contact for the first time in awhile and Osprey hadn't mentioned this on screen. Ty unironically says with misspelling and all, "Woah. teach me, sempai!" As I noted in First Year Out there's unconfronted homophobic implications from Lily, and in this book she is suddenly a lesbian without unpacking that homophobia fully, just acknowledging she felt like women are supposed to be attracted to men without digging deeper. The whole point of this sequel seems to be adding nuance but even then it doesn't complete the task.

Summary:
Readability: ★★☆☆☆, And we have even less of a focused story than last time, but at least the characters are somewhat more likable despite still knowing almost nothing aside from their core identity of choice.

Entertainment: ★★☆☆☆, It's like an overbaked cake without frosting, you can eat the first slice but are greatly disappointed and will not be going back for another one. It's clear Symington can think of better ideas each time, but the execution is excruciatingly stagnant.

Audience: Questioning, early coming out, and allies. It does a lot of stereotypes and soulless rep but at least the information is mostly ok otherwise. It wouldn't be my first pick but you can check it out if interested.

Content Warnings: ableism, anorexia, dysphoria, enbyphobia, eugenics, fetishization, genocide mention, hate crimes, homophobia, kissing, light nudity, medical gatekeeping, murder, queerphobia, racism, sensory overload, sex, slavery mention, slurs, transphobia

[Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A cute story! I liked how everything overlapped and overall I thought it was fun and educational!

It did try to tackle a lot and I would have liked it to be a bit longer to flesh everything out!

I’m not sure if it’s intended for kids, but if it was it would explain the too straight to the point writing? Most of the dialogue didn’t feel like humans speaking and more like infographics if that makes sense. I also wasn’t a big fan of the art style, but since I thought the story itself was so nice I overlooked it.

Tws: transphobia, general queer phobia, mentions of disordered eating, racism

Rep: (so many it’s fantastic, I’ll try to list them all out!) polyam sapphic, autistic autigender/non-binaray transfem (they use the trans flag, the non-binary flag as well as the autigender), polyam non-binary poc, Persian trans man, (2) black sapphic trans women, genderqueer person discovering her identity (pronouns in book says that they use she/her but in the description it uses they/them, so it might be both), trans woman, asexual genderqueer/non-binary, sapphic woman

[Meepelous · Rating 2 out of 5]

Focused on the way people’s identities are multifaceted and change over time. Including gender, race, sexuality, polyamory, and autism. Much like her first book, coming out again felt more then a little didactic. My biggest issue was with the inclusion of a Persian character to basically say canada good and iran bad, which felt a bit overly simplistic and people equal the sate. Especially as anti-trans violence continues to grow in the states... I don’t think any of us should be patting ourselves on the back, and recreate the sort of white saviour feminist milieu that said the war in afghanistan was to save women or whatever.

[Danielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I probably read half of this book and just didn't feel like I was reading a story. It was far too informational in a way that failed to give the characters any personality outside of their labels. I was hoping for the same diverse representation with a more fluid and natural representation of identities.

[CH · Rating 3 out of 5]

Educational graphic novel about trans/queer/poly/neurodivergent people. Although informative, I found that it really strong-armed the message by having the characters speak like an IG infographic slide instead of a real conversation or story.
I think this would be a difficult read if this is your first introduction to conversations about gender identity, sexuality, and race, but if you already have an understanding of these topics it’s a nice little feel-good story about happy queer people being unapologetically themselves and some struggles they faced on their journey to self-acceptance.

[Karunnya Menon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute, quick and informative graphic novel. It feels like it could've been called "Gender for dummies." 😜

[Zachariah Mears · Rating 5 out of 5]

Might have been 4 stars but there was a really relatable 3D printer reference that makes it an easy 5

[Mostly Sapphic Books · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 Stars maybe??

I feel bad giving this one star because I really like the idea of giving representation to less often seen sexuality/gender/race/family structure/neurodivergency combos, but IS this representation?

This feels like some sort of HR training video on education and acceptance. None of these characters are real people. They speak exclusively didactically about their identities and have almost no personality whatsoever. They’re allowed one line of vague, uninteresting, irrelevant real human dialogue before they’re reduced entirely to their identities: e.g., “Wow. What a great brunch. Anyway, let’s spend the next twenty pages talking explicitly about racism in the most obvious, simple terms.” I agree with everything these characters are saying, but the tone is so forced and unnatural that it’s at best boring and at worst uncanny valley uncomfortable. This genuinely doesn’t feel like fiction. It feels like a basic educational pamphlet no one is reading of their own volition.

I can’t tell who this book is for. It’s too Queerness 101 to be for most out queer people. It’s too in-your-face queer and soullessly dialogued to convince bigots to learn about queer people and change their minds. Allies? But giving a friend this book to educate them on something would NOT be more effective than just having a genuine 5 minute personal conversation with them. Baby gays? But someone just questioning if they’re gay/trans probably isn’t quite ready to decide if they’re also poly and/or trans and/or gay and/or if their autism drastically impacts their identity.

To say something nice, the chapter transitions are really good. The “narrative” flows seamlessly from one character to the next because all of their lives are interconnected. That does offer a good sense of community and connection. And the very last chapter does get into some more personal character stuff that makes her (still very educational) story feel a bit more realistic to read. But good god do you have to slog through so much of this book to get there.

I hope someone gets something out of this, but I was not that person, sadly.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The only thing you can be certain of in life is change. Words change. People change. Things that we were once so certain of can come apart. And things were once thought impossible can become the center of our reality. There is no one way to be.

Not a single one of us fits in everywhere 100% of the time and no single person can know everything there is to know. All we can do is keep pushing forward. Learning. Growing. Speaking truth to power. Listening to and having compassion for one another. Trying to be our best selves, and trying to make this world kinder, safer, and happier. We have to be willing to make mistakes, get hurt, and be authentic with everyone in our lives - especially ourselves.

Every person who comes out makes it easier for the next to come out. And the more people who are out in the world bring their happy, authentic selves the richer and more fulfilling all of our experiences of the world can be.

Life can be so strange and beautiful and there is no real way to predict exactly what the future hold or who we’ll all one day end up as. But if the last few years have proven anything…I have a feeling our world is just going to keep on getting more queer every year.”

Each conversation throughout this graphic novel was thought-provoking, challenging, and inspiring. The examples of empathy and acceptance were such a beautiful thing to experience. I hope for the amazing future that this work envisions and will do everything I can to help it become real.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I thought this was a great book for introducing youth to the LGBTQ+ community and intersectionality. I think the conversation style - à la after-school special - approach is accessible for youth, but I question how accessible the language was given that the book didn't include a glossary. I'm not sure what age group this book is intended for, but the language seemed targeted for an older audience (senior high school, maybe early college/university) while the after-school special approach seemed targeted for a younger audience (middle school). Felt like a bit if a disconnect, but I recognize it's hard to marry those two things given the importance and complexity of the topics presented in this book.

I will say that the author did a great job of addressing different axes of intersectionality and didn't beat around the bush with those topics. Race, neurodivergence, age, sexuality, gender, nods to mobility limitations - many marginalized perspectives were included in this narrative, which I was thrilled to see for young audiences. I'm confident that anyone reading this book can either relate to one of the characters, or recognizes a friend or family member in one of the characters to help gain perspective on how to be a better ally and support their loved ones.

[Molly Park · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a very insightful and thought provoking work of art. We live in such a growing and ever changing world. Where world views are becoming more inclusive and aware. Sometimes I found it myself hard to keep up with.

I thought this novel did a really good job at educating others when it comes to the LGBTQ community. I loved the language that was used and healthy conversations. How everyone took the time to express their feeling in a respectful manner and try to be open minded.

I also liked how it brought aspects of race and disabilities into the conversation and how it can effect our sexual orientation and identities.

I think everyone should try giving it a read, there's a lot to learn from it.

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book in general. I agree with the other two reviewers that it seemed to be trying to be too many things at one time… I think the storyline would’ve benefitted from having footnotes vs having the educational interludes part of the story, but that’s a tricky balance to find.

As someone who’s autistic and queer, I really appreciated the bits about autiegender and I hadn’t even realized there was a Pride flag for that! I loved seeing representations of so many different types of people, identities, experiences, and relationships. Reading this book was kind of like hanging out with a group of my own friends 😅

Overall a neat book with a positive and accepting message.

[Diana Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

We tend to think of labels for people, straight, gay, trans etc. Autistic, neuro normal, etc. Our culture is very binary, very much one thing or another. But many people have more than one label that might make it difficult for them in our society. I learned a lot from this book. It made me think and gave me some perspective on what some people go through on a daily basis. I'm not a huge graphic novel fan, but I Think it's a great way to tell people's stories. There's a lot of people I would recommend this to, if they are wanting to understand more about their fellow people on this planet.

[Corey🦕🦖 · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to enjoy this. The idea was great, but the execution fell flat. None of these characters talked like real people which was really hard to make it through. I think this would’ve been better if there was a plot other than explaining identities at the reader. Having comics of real individual’s coming out stories and including diverse identities in that way would have been a much stronger, more engaging execution. I’m a trans man, and I was really excited by the idea of hearing different coming out stories from various trans identities, but was ultimately a bit disappointed.

[Maïlys · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like there was no real story there and that the characters only existed through their various identities. It was still pretty interesting and educational, especially for people who would know nothing about different sexualities and gender identities, but even i still managed to have a new outlook on some stuff myself.

[Briar · Rating 4 out of 5]

A few cute little connected stories. It's a bit of an information dump if you're not familiar with everything. Explains many topics well. Sabrina is a lovely person and it translates well into her comics.

[sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Hannah Babki · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Tomiko Robson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part of the 9/10 Lit circle collection. Good material and important stories but because it felt so didactic, it didn’t feel like good storytelling.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was expecting this to be separate transition stories, but I absolutely LOVED how each chapter flowed together and all our characters tied in together. Brilliant. Beautiful work.

[Necol or Eli Dickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pretty authentic representation of queers experiences

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Feel Special - TWICE

[Evan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tone is very didactic.