Fairway To Hell

by Carl Hiaasen

"Every weekend, thousands of otherwise rational men and women are cursing, kicking at divots and smashing expensively milled putters against the trunks of immovable hardwood trees. These players go home in a toxic funk to inflict gloom upon their loved ones until the following Saturday, when they rush back to the golf course and do it all over again."In the summer of 2005, Carl Hiaasen picked up a golf club again for the first time in 32 years. He was not the best of players in 1973, and had certainly not got any younger in the intervening period. Undeterred, and weighed down by an increasing quantity of golf equipment and game-enhancing products acquired from adverts on The Golf Channel, who can see a sucker coming, Carl was soon hacking and shanking his way around the courses of Florida, and his obsession with the sport was rekindled. Animals were harmed during the making of this book.Over the course of the next 18 months, Carl's game got better, then worse, then slightly better, then much worse again, and he even managed to jinx Tiger Woods. On the way to finally summoning up the courage to compete in an actual tournament himself, Carl details the hilarious consequences of his misguided belief that he could actually play the game. We also learn that Justin Timberlake has a better golf handicap (6) than Bob Dylan (17), that Eagle Trace golf course contains not one trace of an eagle, and that Mind Drive capsules are not necessarily a good idea.But through all the misery and frustration (save the odd glorious shot), golf took up residence in Carl's heart again. Fairway to Hell is the ultimate tale of the trials and tribulations of the amateur golfer, but also the heart-warming story of how the game brought together the generations of the Hiaasen family.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Carl Hiaasen was born and raised in Florida. After graduating from the University of Florida, he joined the Miami Herald as a general assignment reporter and went on to work for the newspaper’s weekly magazine and prize-winning investigations team. As a journalist and author, Carl has spent most of his life advocating for the protection of the Florida Everglades. He and his family live in southern Florida.

Reviews

[John Defrog: global citizen, local gadfly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not a big fan of golf or sports books in general, but I do generally like Carl Hiaasen’s novels, and this has a nice hook to it – Hiaasen’s account of how he took up golf after giving it up as a young man 30 years ago, and lived to tell the tale.

Not to put too fine a point on it, Hiaasen was a terrible golfer in his youth, and turns out to no better in middle age, and the more he tries to improve his game – especially now that he has the money to invest in all kinds of alleged game-improving gear, courses and brain supplements – the worse he seems to get. The book is based on his diary of golf misadventures, with a lot of commentary about the golf industry, its impact on the ecology (of course) and how – unless you happen to be named Tiger Woods – the game is ostensibly designed to drive you insane. The book builds up to Hiaasen’s first-ever tournament play and whether he can improve his game enough to at least not embarrass himself.

Like his novels (or the ones I’ve read, anyway), Fairway to Hell is accessible and generally funny, and makes me glad I never took up the game beyond mini-golf as a kid. I also learned a lot about golf, of course, so there’s that. I’d also like to say I would read a lot more sports books if they were written like this one. (I’ve heard Alice Cooper’s golf book (Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict) is pretty good – I’ll probably read that one day, albeit more for the Coop than the golf.)

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book on golf I have ever read. It is not going to improve your game but it will provide a cathartic release. This fellow-sufferer/duffer has embarked on the same frustrating, masochistic pilgrimage hacking up turf (and, more often than not, sand) while registering lots of terrible scores (although he does manage to get into the low 80s on a few occasions). There is no golf advice, no stuff on how to improve your swing. There might be some recommendations on what and how much to drink in the 19th hole after a bad day on the links.

[Max Balch · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sad, confusing, inspiring.

[James Lyon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Up until now I have read and absolutely loved everything Carl Hiaasen has written. I have re-read many of his books and found inspiration in his tongue-in-cheek sense of humor, his outrageously funny set-ups, situations and characters, and his Mark Twain-like ability to poke fun at human foibles. In some respects, I consider him Florida's answer to Mark Twain. His writing style is usually clear, crisp, and picturesque.

Having said all that, this book was a stinker. It details Hiaasen's return to golf after a thirty year hiatus. I bought it only because of the author's name, and it became apparent that he was not into the book and was writing it only because his publisher/editor was demanding a book from it. Gone was the usual inspiration. Gone were the usual colorful characterizations. In fact, the author kept pointing out throughout the book how he was being forced to write it to satisfy his editor. At the end of the day, this book is about as good as Hiaasen's golf game, which according to the author, carries a handicap of 16 or 17. Hiaasen clearly hit this one into an alligator-infested water hazard, and there's no way his ball will be retrieved.

[Louise · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was indeed ok, to be honest, I didnt read the blurb properly, just bought it as I like Hiaasen...
its wasnt the usual, being as it was a real story, about him and taking up golf again, so didnt have the usual chaos and black humour....
I dont understand golf either..
it still made for an ok read, so presumably it would be excellent if you knew or cared about the game??

[Dave Hay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being,an ex golfer, and hoping to have time to be a golfer again in the future, many of the feelings that overcome Carl Hiaasen are familiar. Fun, not taxing, and simple. reminds me why I feel for all golfers. Might not be much of a read for non golfers.

[Neil · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not a golfer but I'm a Hiaasen fan and he can make golf sound fun.

[Sandi · Rating 3 out of 5]

same as on the downhill lie - same author, same content - EXACTLY THE SAME!

[Cj Zawacki · Rating 5 out of 5]

A golf book that ha more partial advice then any other book or magazine. A great read during those snow months for the un-snowbirds roosting at home.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book for try-hard golfers. Many of the author's anecdotes reminded me of my own experiences, bringing a smile to my face.

[Sharon]

seems to be identical to downhill, etc... same year published