First review I’ve ever written on Goodreads. Be careful with this book. In the intro, the author writes, “Narcissists are self-centered and arrogant people who lack empathy for others. They live in another world and believe they are special and unique. Hence, they always seek attention and praise from others.” At the time I read it, this excerpt had 115 people who had highlighted it on Kindle. I’m not a doctor, but I get the feeling this author isn’t either, based on how dangerous this excerpt is.
In order to understand gaslighting, we should first understand the narcissistic mind. It’s impossible to learn about gaslighting without a healthy and objective understanding of narcissist personality disorder. When you have suffered years of abuse at the hands of a narcissist, it can be difficult to do this objectively. It’s possible, with the help of a professional and reading books by professionals.
This book is not it, in my opinion. It’s biased and, if I suffered from NPD, I would be offended by this book. There are multiple levels of NPD, and the theories of what causes it are still debated and examined. They are humans too, though they have caused us pain we likely are still fighting today, but that does not mean we have to use the same language they resort to and dismissively say they are “self-centered” and “live in another world.” How many times have you been told by a narcissist that you are “selfish” or “thinking only of yourself”?
Before reading anything on gaslighting, please read “Unmasking Narcissism” by Mark Ettensohn. I don’t like plugging books by another author when critiquing one, but since this is such a sensitive topic, it feels wrong not to. I’ve read a lot of books on recovery and this book has been useful, in-depth without being overwhelming, and easily understandable. More importantly, the author is well-versed and objective, without sympathizing with one party and putting the other down. It’s refreshing and gave me the tools to understand what happened to me, and why.
Books like this “Gaslighting” one are toxic, in my opinion, and need to be read with caution, especially if you are still experiencing trauma at the hands of a narcissist.