Sorry Not Sorry

by Alyssa Milano

Alyssa Milano's sharply observed, uproarious, and deeply intimate ode to the life she has lived and the issues that matter most.

Alyssa Milano, actress and activist, delivers here a collection of powerful personal essays that get to the heart of her life, career, and all-out humanitarianism. These essays are unvarnished and elegant, funny and heartbreaking, and utterly real. A timely book that shows in almost real time the importance of taking care of others, it also gives a gut-punch-level wake-up call in an era where the noise is a distraction from what really needs to happen, if we want to live in a better world.

These are stories of growing up in celebrity, of family and of friends, of connections and breaking apart. They have teeth on the page and come from the heart. And they are stories that offer a direct line into the thoughts and life of one of the most visible, hard-working humanitarians we have. A bestselling children's book author, Alyssa's finally giving her fans worldwide what they really want to hear directly from her about: the life she has lived, the things she's seen and experienced, and the way she lives in and with the world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Politics, Audiobook, Essays, Biography, Social Justice

272 pages, Hardcover

Published October 26, 2021

About the author

Actress and activist Alyssa Milano has spent almost her entire life in the public eye. A famous child actor, she has continued to work throughout her adulthood in both television and film, most notably starring in the wildly popular television series Who's the Boss? and Charmed.

Alyssa is also a lifelong activist and is passionate about fighting for human rights around the world. In 2003, UNICEF invited Alyssa to become a National Ambassador in recognition of her charitable work on behalf of children. Ever since then, Alyssa has been a champion of children's rights, working closely with UNICEF to raise money and awareness and provide aid to the children who need it most all over the world.

Alyssa also speaks to kids in schools around the country about the importance of voting and teaches them how to fill out a ballot because she believes it's never too early to be civic-minded. Most recently, Alyssa is known for popularizing the #MeToo hashtag on Twitter, sparking the massive viral movement. She was named one of the 2017 Persons of the Year in Time magazine alongside other prestigious activists. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two kids.

(source: Amazon)

Reviews

[Mediaman · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a mistake it was to pick up this book, thinking it would be a mixture of Milano's life story and an understanding of her often irrational thought process in making bizarre statements about social causes. Instead it's non-stop, full-throttle political extremism that proves she is totally intolerant and bigoted when it comes to half of the American people. She also clearly doesn't understand what the Constitution is really about, attempting to use it against the very citizens who are standing up for their own personal freedoms.

Milano is harsh, demeaning, hate-filled, and critical to the extreme. She admits her own mental illness and anxiety disorder, which certainly explains why she is so imbalanced and intellectually fraudulent, but it's wasted energy for her to rehash issues that are a few years old without a new take. She seems to only believe what she sees on CNN or MSNBC, not realizing that those are not objective news sources but slanted propaganda networks.

From the first pages you just want to scream back at her because she has such a distorted, narrow, imprecise view of facts and bases all her opinions on left-wing talking points. She calls herself a "patriot" but in truth she's the opposite of one by trying to deny Constitutional freedom to voices she doesn't agree with. It's as if this was written by some wacko socialist think tank using propagandist language to trick Americans. This book typifies the leftist movement that wants to abridge freedoms for those they don't agree with.

If anyone typifies what's wrong with hypocritical liberal America it's Alyssa Milano. Everything Milano condemns she is. She doesn't understand what the words tolerant, racist, or freedom mean beyond her belief system. Her most hilarious and at the same time sad chapter is where she discusses abortion with a pro-life advocate. Milano claims to be a proud Catholic who saves lives by being pro-abortion. Yes, she actually thinks that the killing of millions of babies is an act that saves lives and reflects her Catholic spirituality. (How Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden of her!) The Bible (and her Catholic Church) clearly states that not only is abortion morally wrong and the killing of a life, but that in the modern age Satan is an "angel of light" that influences people to make claims to be doing good but are actually doing evil.

Milano is living in a delusional world that sadly reflects half of the country. She is the very thing she condemns others for and is not sorry for any of it. She misuses her platform and pretends to be pro-women, pro-life, pro-Constitution, and pro-tolerance when in truth she's the opposite of that, and for that we are very sorry.

[Kate Wood · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's about politics, not Hollywood. The chapter about roses and their thorns was really interesting. Made me want to find out what happened between her and Rose McGowan.

[chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

what I expected and what I got were vastly different. I expected more of a memoir/autobiography about her life and experiences. what I got was more a collection of political speech performances and less of a life story.
If your beliefs mirror the authors, then you’ll probably like this book. If you’re in the middle or on the other side and not interested in a political speech performance, this might not be the book for you. And/or if you’re expecting a book about her life, this might not be the right book either.
I really think she might benefit from reading “Bad Republican” by Meghan McCain. but only if the author could come from a place of openness and interest to understand.
didn’t like: trump is brought up in multiple chapters, all with the same repetition, which gets old.
the lack of depth on sexual assault as if all victims have the benefit of evidence (i.e. like what’s-his-name-victim is a REAL ONE but biden’s (current US President 2021) is not because biden’s alleged victim doesn’t have the same back-up materials/evidence)). uhhhhh. if you know anything about trauma and how the brain deals with trauma (recommend books like: the brain that changes itself, the body keeps the secret) then you add the age the trauma the happened, the circumstance, the perp, etc. etc. and of course how one victim/survivor handles/reacts is not going to be identical to another victim/survivor (maybe one person is more left hemisphere and the other is more right hemisphere I dunno). then you factor in that most victims/survivors never report it in the first place.
ch ruth is some alternate reality handmaid's tale thingy of what our world might look like, I assume, from her perspective if it stays its current course. which really lost me, on all the assumptions made. I’ve never studied the data on the trajectory of the US but I’d be shocked if anyone could know what that is, let alone the author.
liked: didn’t know she did any humanitarian missions with the UNICEF, enjoyed those stories. real talk about giving birth.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly inspiring and intelligent collection of essays about her experiences during COVID, her political activism and her desire to help create a more equal America. Would that more people were brave enough to speak up about the injustices in America and the need for political changes required to combat the highly entrenched institutional racism in that country. This is great on audio and highly recommended for anyone who wants to see a more fair and just America. I love that she was such an RBG fan too and refused to pander to fans who are just looking for behind the scenes gossip about her work in television and film (you will not find that in this book).

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actress, activist, and children’s book author Alyssa Milano delves into her first collection of essays. The pieces range from discussing pandemic cabin fever to her heartfelt activism in a world that badly needs more strong voices.

Milano’s essays pack a punch. She has a career stretching back 40 years and has a lot to say on many topics. I enjoyed the up-to-the-minute immediacy of her issues. One day when people look back at these times, they will get a great slice of life in the time capsule of this book. She covered everything from toxic masculinity to her humanitarian work. Her writings on anxiety struck close to home for me. You won’t find a more timely set of essays; I highly recommend this book.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Anita Morrow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a memoir, was I wrong. I heard almost throughout the whole audiobook about trump and all the wrongs he brought upon America. Alyssa constantly bragging about Biden. She quoted that he was over friendly with the opposite sex.
She was constantly talking about how America needs to come together and stop talking hate. In which, she constantly dogged trump. Trump is no saint and has done wrong, so has almost to all politicians who have been or currently now in office. I don’t hate her for her view points. Everyone is different and not everyone is going to agree with another persons viewpoints. Still loved charmed……..

[Elizabeth☮ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I watched "Who's The Boss?” pretty much the entire time it was on the air. I haven't followed Milano much since that time, so I wasn't aware that she is an activist and fairly active in getting meetings with high profile politicans.

I didn't know what to expect when reading this one, but I have to say, I was delightfully surprised at the political slant it takes. I don't think that just because someone is an entertainer they can't be aware of the issues that concern us all.

The chapters are short and the writing is definitely conversational (a lot of f-bombs), but I found myself engaged and it didn't hold me at a distance.

[Jeff Macey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book by a person who has used her celebrity to become an activist for good! I was very surprised by many Goodreads reviews whining that it wasn't about her movie career- don't they read the synopsis before reading??? This is exactly what it's advertised as, a book about her activism. Not for right wing snowflakes who can't take the truth! Highly recommend!

[Kanan Jarrus · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another actor writing a book by someone who can't write. This book is filled with nonsense about Milano's life when in reality it's a cover to speak about Activism topic such as pro life and feminism.

This book was poorly written and boring.

[Trisha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Worst. Celebrity. Memoir. Too political 🤮

[Carrie The Fairy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t buy this book if you are looking for a celebrity memoir. It’s not that. It’s mostly political & is about Alyssa Milano’s stance on many topics. I felt it was well written and heartfelt.

[Sabrina Marie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not at all what I expected.. it’s basically alllll her political views ad nauseam. If that’s your thing read on.. I was thinking more interesting life experiences etc.

[Lily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Review to come (maybe).

[Kelly Staten · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not like this book at all.
While I expect some politics because it’s Alyssa Milano, I did not expect the entire thing to be full of her mostly raging against Trump and Republicans. It got really old and some of her “facts” are easily debunked on Snopes.

There is very little about her life or career, which was why I picked this up in the first place. And the couple of chapters where she fictionalizes the future are downright weird and out of place.

Tried to give this a chance, but it’s easily the worst thing I’ve read in a long time. Skip unless you are a mega fan.

[Libby · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF for me. This reads like a series of angry Facebook posts on the disastrous and disturbing state of our world today. "That's f***ed up" was repeated at least 10 times in the first chapter. I don't mind profanity, but that's just lazy. Also, writing the year as "twenty twenty" was a hint to me that I should pass on this one.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like Alyssa Milano and have appreciated her perspective (in small doses) on Twitter. The anger that comes across in the book, and doom and gloom prophesying are utterly exhausting, reminding me why I stopped following her so long ago.

[Toni · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

Actress Alyssa Milano, known for Who’s the Boss?, Melrose Place, Charmed, and Insatiable, lives and breathes activism. She helped relaunch the #MeToo movement in 2017, but she’s been participating in activism in some way for most of her life.

There are many reviews that expected ‘Sorry Not Sorry’ to be more about Milano’s life. One even says the book is filled with “nonsense about Milano’s life when really it’s a cover to speak about activism.” I can’t help but feel that many negative reviews are disingenuous and posted from a place of hate. This book isn’t a “cover” for anything. It’s about her activism and political beliefs and she isn’t trying to hide that. She does include some personal stories from her life, but ones that relate to the issues she holds close to her heart.

I unfollowed Milano on social media some years ago because she was posting heavily about American politics and social issues. I had no issue with her posting these things, it just wasn’t something I wanted to see constantly as it didn’t interest me. Nevertheless, when Milano’s book was announced, I knew I wanted to read it. As a massive Charmed fan, I definitely wished it was an autobiography about her life, so I was a little disappointed, but I decided to pre-order it anyway because I wanted to learn more about Milano’s views and political beliefs. I was concerned I’d find it to be a dull read, full of information I was sick of hearing about, but it was a pleasant surprise.

‘Sorry Not Sorry’ is filled with many short essays, all around 10 pages or less, that focus on activism, politics, or social justice — especially from issues that have occurred over the past few years. A small handful of them bored me to death, because they were repetitive and about something I don’t care for, but the rest were a great read. There’s even one about Rose McGowan which is spoken entirely in metaphor about a rose plant. It feels childish, but it does make me wonder more about what happened between the two of them.

I was surprised to learn that Milano’s views are not as black and white as I feared they may be. She argues that cancel culture is the “complete rejection of the simple notion that people who share your values can approach them in a different way than you do” and I wish more people realised this. That most of us want the same things, but we have different ideas about how to get there. That doesn’t make someone a bad person.

Milano also said: “Unity cannot only happen if people can pass an ideological purity test identifying who is a good human and who is a bad human. Of course there are lines, but our line shouldn't be ‘That person supports eliminating the estate tax, they're on the bad list forever.’ We need to convince our opponents that they are wrong, not demonise them for disagreeing.” YES 👏🏻

There’s so much good in Milano’s essays, but mostly it’s nothing you won’t have heard before. I do think the strengths lie in the quotes I shared — where I believe more people need to hear things like this. For Milano’s openness, she still remains highly critical of others that she doesn’t like, which reflects in her essays, but she’s only human. Revisiting some topics I grew sick and tired of hearing about during the pandemic wasn’t as bad as I thought and I also learned some things about American history. I don’t agree with everything Milano says or believes, but I don’t need to, and, as a big fan, it doesn’t change my opinion of her.

It helps that Milano is a great writer. She speaks clearly and concisely, for the most part, and she even uses repetition as a literary device very well. I did notice about 3 and 4 typos though. There’s a few chapters where Milano begins to write fiction to illustrate a point or a feeling and these are remarkably interesting and carry enough depth to feel like non-fiction. In one, she explores two future views of a woman’s life; one of a promising future where women have reproductive and bodily autonomy rights, and another that looks more like The Handmaid’s Tale. I would love for Milano to adapt this into a full novel (or novella) demonstrating these two future views of the same woman’s life further.

In one chapter where Milano talks about who and what was considered “essential” during the pandemic, she said: “Our priorities are so broken.” I ultimately think that this sums up her book. At its heart she is saying that everything is a mess and it shouldn’t have to be like this, which is a message I think many people can get behind. She understands how people are manipulated and brainwashed and knows it’s not their fault, but she is still so deeply angry and scared about our future, which may continue to be formed by hate, ignorance, and idiocy. Her essays are often told from a negative perspective, but the time she wrote them in did feel very bleak indeed. They are a call to action and they embody the activism she so genuinely lives.

[Danielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let me start out by saying that I think Alyssa Milano is a very talented actress. I don't know her personally, but she comes across as a great mother as well. With that being said, I went into this book liking her as an actress and not really knowing or having an opinion about her personally other than thinking she seems as though she's a great mother. In this book she goes on long tirades about being kind and not being hateful or bullying. That is the part that soils this entire book for me. Spoiler alert this is basically a let's bash Donald Trump book. At times she flat out makes derogatory comments about him, brings up past mistakes and comments that he's made, and then at times she passive aggressively throws little jabs in when she can. It's extremely unfortunate in my eyes because she brings this air of being better than that in this book. She says of how all the good things she's done with humanitarian efforts, how she's tried to help people who are homeless or hungry or who have been victims of sexual abuse. The thing is the way the world works sadly, you can do 50 million good things but people are going to remember the bad. Unfortunately, the negative in this book outweighs the positive so I'm left with a negative impression upon finishing this book. I am now a fan of her acting, but I dislike her as a person. I hate to say it, but I feel like this book and her actions that she has stated throughout the book are just a way to help her stay relevant. Oh and just in case you were curious, no I did not vote for Donald Trump so I am not coming at this from a Trump supporter point of view. I personally do not have a problem with Donald Trump the man put money in my pocket and I have no problems with anybody who does that. With that being said, it has no bearing on my opinion of this book. You can replace Donald Trump in this book with Mickey Mouse and I'd still feel the same way. This book is just a clever way of being a bully in disguise.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like what happened here is that people wanted some fluff piece by a celebrity, full of secrets and drama - and when they instead got this book, they were annoyed at having to actually use their brains. If you admired Alyssa enough to want to read a book you thought was going to be the story of her life, then open your mind enough to listen to what she has to say…because it’s important. Surely her opinions are at least as important as her looks and celebrity, yeah? And if not, then you were only here for the fluff in the first place.

[Kimberley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Granted, this is not an unbiased review. My politics align for the most part with Ms. Milano's, and if yours do not, you may find yourself uncomfortable at a number of points in this book.

There is much mature language - she says that f*ck and sh*t are not considered bad words in her home, but "d*mb" and "st*pid" are - and Milano does not hesitate to express her very strong and well-supported opinions on subjects from marriage, children, to the birth process; to #BLM and the #MeToo movement; gun ownership, Clinton vs Trump vs Biden; elections, voting, and the Electoral College, and more.

Well spoken and well informed, Milano narrates this collection of essays that are current and don't hide from touchy subjects.

Not for the faint of heart, but very worth reading.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding series of essays, written primarily during the pandemic. A harsh look at where we are, but a hopeful view of where we could go. So glad I listened to this. Hearing her words in her own voice definitely elevated it from 4 stars to 5 for me.

[Jess · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF - the first chapter she talks about Brett Kavannaugh + Trump and the importance of "believing women" and then comes for everyone who spoke about against Biden, because she likes Biden. Grueling stuff. The next chapter is about "performative wokeness" and how people with "the same politics" disagreeing about "word choice" is performative and if people won't engage in educating you in private then it's just performative - just some bananas-ass ignorant white liberal feminist bullshit. Couldn't go any further.

[Roanna25 · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was not an autobiography which you knew from reading the flap. It's a collection of essays on things mostly political. And every single one of those ended up talking about the same thing. It should have been split between personal and political for it to have flowed better.
Ultimately it was a book that only a famous person can get away with getting published. Everyone else would have just posted them on facebook.

[Paul Sutter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Child stars can grow up to be very interesting people. We have all heard of a few of them that unfortunately could not handle fame, and their lives self-destructed. Others actually make a positive influence and contribution to the world.
Most will remember Alyssa Milano first for her role on the popular ABC series Who’s The Boss, and more recently for her role on the series Charmed. In case you were expecting this book to be a look back at her television roles and those she has worked with, it is not that sort of book.
She instead takes a stand on what is happening or has happened to the country and world she lives in. She does not mince words, and she is not afraid to let her opinions trigger thought and possibly disdain from those who find her thoughts counter-productive.
Sure a lot of people will find the book tough to swallow, because she does not back off from opinions and the truth in so many ways. Her new role as a political activist is refreshing, and the fact that she has many fans as followers, will allow her thoughts to percolate and perhaps to make people think.
The book is in ways ways, or rather parts of it against Donald Trump, and what he represented when he was President of the United States. She is not about to back down for fear of negative accusations against her. The fact that she talks about so many diverse subjects from gun violence, Black Lives Matter, and the treatment in general of women, shows her desire to get to the truth. The first chapter of the book talks about a rally with white Catholic boys protesting about taking away the abortion rights of women. Many of the participants stood out in their MAGA (Make America Great Again) red caps. They also had a confrontation with a Native American man, who was in an Indigenous Peoples March. They mocked him with tomahawk chops and the like. She said the red caps were like the white hoods worn by the Ku Klux Klan.
Milano was not afraid to use the F bomb word countless time throughout the book, and her resolve is so strong to make a difference. She discusses a rose bush that caused great pain, her husband David, giving birth, and a world where cancel culture takes precedence at times. It makes for a well-rounded book that is not for all people, but then again it was not to be. It was meant for free-thinkers rather than conspiracy theorists, and the book truly is food for thought.

[Amber DiTullio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have long been a fan of Alyssa Milano. First it was because I thought she was a talented actress, but as we entered the 21st Century and she became more vocal with her activism, I applauded her for standing by her convictions. It's been easy for me to do, since we have a lot of the same views. She's just got far more of a platform to make her voice heard than I do, and she's a lot better at putting herself out there than I am.

Sorry/Not Sorry is a book of essays that she wrote primarily during 2020 and 2021, finishing it up at the beginning of 2022. In it, she talks some about the pandemic and how her family was dealing with it. But most of the essays deal more with her thoughts on activism. Most of the essays had me nodding along with her, knowing that I agreed whole-heartedly with what she was saying. (There was one in which she talked about a sickness in all men that I didn't agree with, mostly because I don't see it in either my husband or my children.)

But my favorites were the bits of fiction that she wrote to illustrate some of what she was thinking. In one, she wrote two future views from her mind palace - one in which women continue to control their own reproductive and bodily autonomy rights, and one in which women have returned to the second class citizens they were until the early 20th Century. I suspect that the truth will be somewhere in the middle, because there are still enough men and women fighting to make sure that we don't fall that far back. But we also have enough men and women that think the rights of the unborn are more important than those who currently live. She also wrote about a "daydream" that she has in which she talks with an older woman who is protesting outside a Planned Parenthood clinic, finding that while they will never come together on their view of when life starts, they have a lot more in common than they do differences.

Another of my favorite parts of her writing was her addressing the trolls that will usually attack her on Twitter. Using humor, parroting back their mistakes in the mispelling her name or calling her the wrong name, she claps back at what those imaginary people's real-life counterparts are saying.

I definitely recommend reading this, regardless of whether you agree with her or not. It's very well written and, in my opinion, a good view of what those who lean more left than right feel about the country we live in.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm not particularly interested in Alyssa Milano, but I do enjoy reading people's memoirs and ideas, even if I don't necessarily agree with them. There are many things Milano advocates for, such as abortion rights, that I heartily agree with. She's not afraid to show up, but how much of that is for attention, and how much of that is for the causes she's espousing? Hard to tell.

At any rate, I figured this book was bound to be at least somewhat interesting. Unfortunately, I didn't get very far because she is so very ANGRY. Look, women in the modern world have a great deal to have a right to be angry about. I'm angry about a great deal that we have to put up with. But you have to find a way to channel that frustration and discontent in a positive way, in order to get things done. I don't mean just smile and be meek and play nice, because that's just as ineffective. But screaming at everybody about how mad you are isn't gonna do it. And that's pretty much what this book seems to be. It felt like being in a room with someone yelling at you.

I think it's going to be hard to get the folks who would take the time to listen to her to sit and take it in, with this much animosity pouring out. And so many already refuse to take her seriously as it is. I don't feel like this helped her goal of conveying her ideas. I think it hinders the discourse we need to effect long lasting change.

[L. J. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Alright, so, I think someone needs to tell Alyssa that this is not a memoir in any shape or form. Everything else that the book is tagged under is more accurate, especially the political one.

For someone who says “we should come together and stop hating”, she says a lot of hateful things towards Trump (who I don’t particularly care about myself), just because she disagrees with what he stands for and whatnot. Practice what you preach, honey bunny. Otherwise, you’re just full of shit.

She also really likes to believe in propaganda.

She is delusional.

Stop idolizing celebrities because most of the time, they turn out to be complete bitches like this one. And stop hating on reviews that don’t have the same opinion/perspective as you; it’s not that deep, it’s just a book review, babe. And, yes, we can still review books we skimmed, and state our thoughts about what we have knowledge of; there’s nothing wrong with that.

[Barb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just when you think you can't find a way to appreciate someone more you read a book like this one. Intelligent and well spoken and opeminded and, yes, beautiful. With fame comes a lot of responsibility. People will believe what you say or act on what you say based on the fact that they like you as a celebrity. Rarely do we hear a voice speaking out with such conviction and knowledge behind what they say. Right down to saying I made a mistake. We all do at some point. Facing up to it is another thing. Researching before you speak is so important.
We need to work together to make good choices.
AM shares it all and I say bravo!

[Liz Sergent · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have always been a fan of Alyssa Milano and when I saw this book at the library I thought I would give it a try. I love reading celebrities' books however, I don't know where to start - first the language - seriously no need to use the F word every other word....so many words in the English language to express yourself that don't make you seem like a uneducated person. Second this author is so filled with hate - My heart went out to how miserable she must be to carry that hate around. I am sad that I read this book as my views toward this beautiful actress have been tainted.

[Sharlene Baldeo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Alyssa Milano and although this book wasn't exactly what I was expecting, I did enjoy listening to it and her point of views on the state of the world and how messed up things were and are in current day politics.

Very curious if the chapter on "roses" was somehow inadvertently about Rose McGowen - very interesting read between the lines chapter.

She says what she believes and I almost 💯 agree with her for most is not all her point of views.