Are You Coming?: A Vagina Owner's Guide to Orgasm

by Laura Hiddinga

It's time to address the "orgasm gap" According to some studies, only about 60% of straight women are reaching climax during sex compared to 95% of men. For many women who have sex, the unfortunate truth is that climaxing is not always (usually isn't) guaranteed. This despite the fact that, as Miranda puts it in Sex and the City, "It's the clitoris, not the Sphinx."

Are You Coming? is here to address this gap--and to educate anyone with a vagina (whether straight or queer!) who's been wondering how to get the most out of it. It includes everything there is to know in order to achieve orgasm: vaginal, clitoral--but also anal, oral, and more. In just nine short chapters, told with boldness and wit, it provides the basics--a guide to vaginal anatomy; how to talk about sex with your partner; different positions and toys to try--and is sprinkled with "quickie" tips, quotes from iconic celebrities and TV shows, line drawings, and more to break it down even faster for those in need of the quick and dirty version to good sex . . . so to speak!

Many have (wrongly and sexist-ly) argued that the art of female orgasm is elusive, but in just 192 pages Are You Coming? shows that not only is it not--it's easy: All you need is the desire to have a good time, this book, and maybe a toy or partner or two. Because sex is fun! Or at least it should be. Are you coming?

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Sexuality, Audiobook

209 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 16, 2021

Reviews

[Verónica Fleitas Solich · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was good.
Clear and concise explanations.
It can be used as a first reading on the subject to learn about your own body or that of your partner, more so, this text is definitely nothing more than the kick-off.
Either way it's interesting and I recommend it.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Certainly greatly informative but also glad I'm done with this one... T'was aplenty

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much to The Experiment for sharing a copy of Are You Coming? by Laura Hiddinga for review,

I loved this guide to orgasms and their many forms. I did not know there were that many types or how I would go about having one if I so desired. I really liked that with the scientific explanations, there were also helpful tips to try if you would like. The quotes from people who had experienced each type was an interesting addition as well. Overall an honest guide to orgasms and what you might need to try to experience one, as well as positions for each, some sex toy descriptions and more.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful and insightful. I thought I would know most of this, but I learned a lot of new things! I just bought a copy to keep for reference. 😂 This won't a long way toward destigmatizing my own struggles with partnered sex and orgasm. A+

[Juzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where sex education failed us, Laura Hiddinga saved us 🫶🏼

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are You Coming? by Laura Hiddinga is a fantastic primer for anyone wanting to know more about the ins and outs of the vaginal and clitoral orgasm. Covering everything from basic anatomy to the various types of orgasms and how to have them (and how to have even better ones), this book offers professional and personal advice that you will want to come back to time and time again. With topics ranging from solo excursions to talking with your partner and all the problems you main run into along the way, Are You Coming? is a well-rounded book that deals with both the mental and physical aspects of the orgasm. Easy to read and easy to follow, Hiddinga breaks down all medical terms and explains things with the words and lingo everyone already knows. This book is also inclusive, which is great to see. Instead of just discussing the female orgasm, Are You Coming? respects the differing experiences between, for example, someone assigned female at birth and a trans woman, or a straight couple and a queer couple. The book not only acknowledges that these differences exist, but also provides specific positions or toys that might be beneficial to those not AFAB or in a lesbian relationship. The goal is more people having more happy endings, and Are You Coming? has something for everyone explained in ways everyone can understand.

[Caroline Fosse · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good and useful kind of book!

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an avid Romance reader, I read about a lot of sex. What you don't read about a lot is sexual dysfunction. For those of us that may have a difficult time "getting there' and my growing interest in the shapes and forms of relationships (LGBTQ included), I felt this book was an excellent resource.

The author provides excellent explanations for all the things related to the ladygasm (trans and queer relationships included). Laura Hiddinga provides all the explanations of the many different types of orgasms, positions, and how to "get there" with little tips and tricks thrown in. There is even a section on accessories and details of how and when they might come in handy. Laura also discusses the possibly uncomfortable or maybe less socially acceptable subject of how to talk to your partner about your needs and wants.

Are You Coming? is a very sex-positive book about helping the ladies, gaydies, and theydies make sure they are getting theirs too.

*ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.* 

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was pretty good. Not an in-depth book and really I read it ove the course of a couple of hours. I liked the little "quickie" tips. There's definitely a few things I'm planning to give a try. I did feel like there was some discrepancies between this information and other stuff I've read in some of the books that this references.

I would have really liked to see more attention paid to the whole if you haven't had an orgasm or have difficulty having one you should try these things. There was some brief info on this, but I would have really liked to see more info on that. There is a shocking little amount of info for people who have difficulty getting to orgasm or going over the edge (that release).

Overall a good and informational read.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun book. The sort of book that makes a good stocking filler for a significant other, or a little treat for yourself. It’s not so much as a reference book but a collage of facts, in different formats including “quickie” factoids, chapters (in the normal way) and various added bits a bobs.

Thirteen types or orgasms (!) a bit of anatomy, exercises, affirmations, tips and recommendations, to make funtime better for “vagina owners!” Whether born with them or not.

I really enjoyed that this book didn’t sound too preachy, it is encouraging rather than “this is what you are doing wrong,” but was written for “vagina owners” rather than women, and including “penis owners” rather than men … differentiating between AMAB and AFAB - assigned make/female at birth - so the book is inclusive of all genders and sexualities and makes allowance for sexual play in a pair or “solo sex” and it highlights and explains difficulties caused by guilt, traditional enforced “morals” and societally imposed embarrassment. Stress is put on it being okay to ask for pleasure in a relationship and how to do that, and not feel that vagina owners in relationships with penis owners should in anyway not be as entitled to pleasure. Contrary to what we’re made to feel.

Bright and sassy writing, easy to read and quick, and easy to dip in and out of…. reassuring and positive. Rather amusing - not too serious. Written like a magazine article in Cosmo, even the diagrams!

[Agirlandabook · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel there is still a huge amount of stigma attached to a woman being open and honest about her sex life and heaven forbid a woman being vocal about enjoying sex! I remember back to the sex education I had in school I learnt about periods and pregnancy. There was nothing about sex for pleasure, sex for intimacy, sex for confidence, or more importantly that as a woman we deserve to feel safe, comfortable and enjoy sex.

I was intrigued by this book as a 35 year old woman I believed I was fairly educated when it came to my body and sex but when I read in the blurb there were 13... yes 13 different types of orgasm I thought maybe there are some mysteries yet to discover!

In just 200 short pages Hiddinga covers basic anatomy (I learnt I about parts I didn’t even know) types of orgasm, ways in which to talk more openly with your partner, tips for better sex and advice for those who may have difficulties during sex. It is presented in an easy to read format being neither crude nor like a textbook.

It is well written, accessible and aims to be as inclusive as possible, whilst this is marketed toward those with vaginas I believe that all genders would benefit from reading this hugely educational book.

And to my fellow vagina owners continue to break the taboo and own that orgasm because you deserve to have good sex! ❤️

[Masa M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read "Are you coming" in a day and loved it. I feel that the book delivers on what it says it will. There is a lot of detailed information on the basics (biologyl class), on different types of orgasams, what can help with achieving one, what can cause sex to be painful, how to focus on communicating and then there are illustations to help with choosing your next position.

I would highly recommend reading to anyone who has a vulva and wants to learn more about how to achieve an orgasm. 

Thank you Laura Hiddinga and the Experiment for letting me review the book before it's published.

[LittleKippie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a mockery of women who actually struggle with orgasm.
Inconsistency in numbers throughout the book. It constantly says "science found" or "research says" but doesn't actually say what research.
A lot of quotes from TV shows and celebrities are cited as if they are actually meaningful and not just fiction and marketing.
Every page shows reference to some anonymous woman telling an anecdote about her magical throat orgasm.
This book is written for immature adolescents and is far from all the fame they try to pretend it deserves.

[Carol Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are You Coming? A Vagina Owner’s Guide to Orgasm is recommended to anyone who would like to learn more about female genitalia and orgasms. I read this book in one day and found it to be an easy to read guide on a number of (sometimes) difficult topics such as female genitalia, different types of orgasms, solo sex, painful sex, and communicating with your partner. Are You Coming? also strives to take into account more than heterosexual encounters. #AreYouComing #NetGalley

[Tangled in Text · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes! I picked this one up because I loved this cover and it was so much fun! Full of sex positivity and help closing this orgasm gap!

I did listen to this on audio but when I got the physical copy from the library a few weeks later I loved the format of it so much I skimmed through it again.

It's vibrant, engaging, and not as intimidating as a lot of the other sex books I've read lately, heavy with dos and donts that make sex feel like a chore.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

An inclusive and entertaining take on sex education for the modern age. I love that at the start the author explains the basics of pronouns and how they will be used in this book.

Although in one diagram the uterus is labelled as the urethra I assume this will be fixed before publication.

I was given a NetGalley ARC in exchange for a review.

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short, but really educational little book all about female orgasms. It's very inclusive, packed with practical tips and a very easy read. Definitely beats the women's magazines I used to read as a teenager! I definitely had no clue there are 13(!) types of female orgasm...!

Thanks to NetGalley for the free review copy.

[kepz_lovesreading · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be an interesting read with some new information I'd never heard before or never thought about. I think it's a nice book to empower you into taking responsibility for your own body and asking for what you need and want. It's written in an easy to understand way with lots of descriptive images.
Thanks to Netgalley.com and The Experiment for my eARC copy.

[Bree · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, I mostly bought this for the list of 13 types of orgasms and was not expecting to get much else from it, but it had a lot of useful information that I’d never come across in other sex ed books. It’s absolutely beginner-friendly, but also very practical in a way that would be useful to more experienced readers.

[Lynn Loves Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a great little book! A definitive resource on the ultimate happy ending! It is full of great little tidbits of information about anatomy, position, as well as varieties of culminating activities. If you can't answer the title with a resounding Yes!, then check it out.

[Layla Platt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very inclusive and informative! Really enjoyed reading this.

[Zody · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how this book was inclusive for all body types and genders. Literally, encompasses everything you need and want to know. Really well done.

[Cubierocks · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as ultimate as I'd hoped . . . pretty routine info here.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have lived for so long and yet understood so little.

[Brett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read. Good shit.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good basic information about orgasms. Nothing too crazy or impressive but informative. The author also tries to be gender-inclusive.

[Karley Essington · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who has sexual trauma, I really appreciated the open mindset of this book. It was basic information that I've never had in my life and left me feeling comfortable with my body.

[Lizziey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please read it

[Rene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very informative for those wanting more knowledge in this area.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the sex ed book that all women should read. It teaches more than any class in school did for us, and tells us what most people keep hidden or aren't comfortable enough to talk about.