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The Five Ls: A Practical Guide for Helping Loved Ones Heal After Trauma
“I have known Shawn for a short time as lifetimes go, but I say I feel like I have known him for a lifetime through our shared experiences during Huts for Vets weekends. In his book, The Five Ls, Shawn masterfully weaves life experiences, humor, tragedy and faith into a must-read guide for those of us in the work of preventing suicide. Shawn, I am so glad to be of Service with you.”
—WANDA WRIGHT
Colonel, U.S. Air Force, Director, Arizona Department of Veterans’ Service
“In The Five A Practical Guide for Helping Loved Ones Heal After Trauma, author Shawn Banzhaf serves as a trailblazer, lead climber, and guide, as well as Sherpa, charting a course for others while providing much needed sustenance. With humor, pathos, and honesty, Shawn courageously opens his life and heart in a way that provides support and guidance for people in need. He didn’t just write this book, he lived it. Shawn draws on his unique combination of skills, education, work experience, military service, and personal characteristics…The 5 Ls is written for both those who care about someone living with trauma and those dealing with the effects of trauma directly. It is a thoughtful, insightful, and intimate book, at once simple and complex, clear and deep, written with the powerful hope of literally and figuratively saving lives and relationships.”
—DENISE ANN BODMAN
Principal Lecturer and Barrett Honors Faculty, T. Denny Sanford School of Social and Family Dynamics, ASU
“Banzhaf’s Five Ls approach emerges from a place of curiosity, empathy, and compassion. This book is for those who need straightforward solutions for bearing one another’s trauma with open-minded love. Whether the framework is directed toward personal or corporate action, I trust the values embodied within Banzhaf’s message can be used to guide others toward freedom and wholeheartedness.”
—RENEE RONIKA BHATTI-KLUG
Founder and CEO, Culturally Intelligent Training & Consulting LLC
“Once in a while a book is able to weave together theory and practice in such an intricate way that the transitions are barely noticed. The Five L's does just this inviting professionals, lay leaders, family, and those who have experienced trauma into reciprocal spaces of learning and support. Rooted in research but grounded in experience, Shawn offers a book that is highly accessible without being trite or sanitized. His experience in the military is both central to the story and serves as a bridge for other non-military persons. This book offers insight, wisdom, and clear strategies to empower those impacted directly and indirectly by trauma.”
—AMY F. JACOBER
PhD, MSW, MDiv
“Shawn Banzhaf, my dear friend and a co-laborer in the trauma informed community movement, created an impactful resource called the “Five Ls.” He effectively illustrates how to be a helpful companion for those who are suffering and deeply wounded. Shawn’s humble but authentic sharing of his life story makes this book both powerful and persuasive. I highly recommend this book to anyone in the field of trauma informed care.”
—SANGHOON YOO
Founder of The Faithful City and Arizona Trauma Informed Faith Community
—WANDA WRIGHT
Colonel, U.S. Air Force, Director, Arizona Department of Veterans’ Service
“In The Five A Practical Guide for Helping Loved Ones Heal After Trauma, author Shawn Banzhaf serves as a trailblazer, lead climber, and guide, as well as Sherpa, charting a course for others while providing much needed sustenance. With humor, pathos, and honesty, Shawn courageously opens his life and heart in a way that provides support and guidance for people in need. He didn’t just write this book, he lived it. Shawn draws on his unique combination of skills, education, work experience, military service, and personal characteristics…The 5 Ls is written for both those who care about someone living with trauma and those dealing with the effects of trauma directly. It is a thoughtful, insightful, and intimate book, at once simple and complex, clear and deep, written with the powerful hope of literally and figuratively saving lives and relationships.”
—DENISE ANN BODMAN
Principal Lecturer and Barrett Honors Faculty, T. Denny Sanford School of Social and Family Dynamics, ASU
“Banzhaf’s Five Ls approach emerges from a place of curiosity, empathy, and compassion. This book is for those who need straightforward solutions for bearing one another’s trauma with open-minded love. Whether the framework is directed toward personal or corporate action, I trust the values embodied within Banzhaf’s message can be used to guide others toward freedom and wholeheartedness.”
—RENEE RONIKA BHATTI-KLUG
Founder and CEO, Culturally Intelligent Training & Consulting LLC
“Once in a while a book is able to weave together theory and practice in such an intricate way that the transitions are barely noticed. The Five L's does just this inviting professionals, lay leaders, family, and those who have experienced trauma into reciprocal spaces of learning and support. Rooted in research but grounded in experience, Shawn offers a book that is highly accessible without being trite or sanitized. His experience in the military is both central to the story and serves as a bridge for other non-military persons. This book offers insight, wisdom, and clear strategies to empower those impacted directly and indirectly by trauma.”
—AMY F. JACOBER
PhD, MSW, MDiv
“Shawn Banzhaf, my dear friend and a co-laborer in the trauma informed community movement, created an impactful resource called the “Five Ls.” He effectively illustrates how to be a helpful companion for those who are suffering and deeply wounded. Shawn’s humble but authentic sharing of his life story makes this book both powerful and persuasive. I highly recommend this book to anyone in the field of trauma informed care.”
—SANGHOON YOO
Founder of The Faithful City and Arizona Trauma Informed Faith Community
129 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 28, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 12, 2022
In The Five Ls, Shawn Banzhaf offers practical wisdom to fellow veterans and their loved ones in the challenging task of overcoming the trauma of war. Shawn’s writing is motivated by love (one the five Ls!) and empowered by personal experience as a sergeant who served in the Iraq war. The book is intended to help the veteran community, which is facing an epidemic of tragically high suicide rates. Through these pages, Shawn reaches out to the people in this community with love, sincerity, and a message of hope.
Shawn, with assistant Jamin Andreas Hübner, writes with authenticity, humor, and insight. His tone is conversational, but also erudite, as he cites various scientific studies to highlight his points. He draws on a diverse range of sources to complement and punctuate his observations—from scripture to Beyonce to the Dalai Lama. His personal stories are highly engaging—and of course complete with military slang and acronyms, which he graciously translates for the reader!
Among the insights I appreciated were Shawn’s words to men whose false conception of masculinity prevents them from seeking the help they need, embracing vulnerability when necessary, and allowing themselves to process negative emotions—whether with loved ones or even a counselor. Shawn opposes the “will to power” mentality and egoism that stands in the way of healing and wholeness (and thus perpetuates the depression that often leads to despair)—and he does so without denying the value of the traits associated with a positive conception of masculinity—heroism, strength, courage, etc. In addition to the vital importance of humility, Shawn also encourages his readers to embrace “nature’s balm,” and offers empirical support for the life-affirming concept that “nature is larger than life” and that “we as human beings are nature aware of itself.” Finally, his lesson on leadership in the final chapter are relevant to everyone interested in that topic, not just his target audience.
In sum, The Five Ls is a book that offers the hope of healing. Perhaps as powerfully as the practical wisdom itself, of which the work is full, is the fact that there are people—veterans and their loved ones—who have been able to find joy in life after the trauma of war. This is a vital message and I hope it reaches everyone who needs to hear it.
Shawn, with assistant Jamin Andreas Hübner, writes with authenticity, humor, and insight. His tone is conversational, but also erudite, as he cites various scientific studies to highlight his points. He draws on a diverse range of sources to complement and punctuate his observations—from scripture to Beyonce to the Dalai Lama. His personal stories are highly engaging—and of course complete with military slang and acronyms, which he graciously translates for the reader!
Among the insights I appreciated were Shawn’s words to men whose false conception of masculinity prevents them from seeking the help they need, embracing vulnerability when necessary, and allowing themselves to process negative emotions—whether with loved ones or even a counselor. Shawn opposes the “will to power” mentality and egoism that stands in the way of healing and wholeness (and thus perpetuates the depression that often leads to despair)—and he does so without denying the value of the traits associated with a positive conception of masculinity—heroism, strength, courage, etc. In addition to the vital importance of humility, Shawn also encourages his readers to embrace “nature’s balm,” and offers empirical support for the life-affirming concept that “nature is larger than life” and that “we as human beings are nature aware of itself.” Finally, his lesson on leadership in the final chapter are relevant to everyone interested in that topic, not just his target audience.
In sum, The Five Ls is a book that offers the hope of healing. Perhaps as powerfully as the practical wisdom itself, of which the work is full, is the fact that there are people—veterans and their loved ones—who have been able to find joy in life after the trauma of war. This is a vital message and I hope it reaches everyone who needs to hear it.
October 4, 2021
Concise and easy to read. While there are references to more scientific texts (have read those too), this offers a clear and encouraging direction for supporters and caretakers to utilize with those experiencing symptoms from trauma, complex trauma, grief. Really we could all use the 5 L’s more with our loved ones and be better off for it.
Shawn provides brief insight into the mind of the soldier, however, his everyday (Civilian) life scenarios really prove applicable and relatable for folks post traumatic event. For example, replace the 4th of July description of people carrying on and not noticing the sounds around them, with the recent loss of a loved one. Grief can feel similar with that sense of numb hollowness and the world keeps spinning. The flashback scene in the port-a-potty; I have worked with sexual assault survivors describing similar occurrences after a trigger.
The magic in this book is its relatability. While Shawn might describe himself as just a regular dude, that is also what makes him extraordinary. I believe heroes and sheroes are ordinary folks surviving, thriving, and moving through their circumstances to provide hope for others not quite there yet. As a trauma therapist, these 5 L’s help create a foundation of healing in the therapy room, they may be called things like co-regulation, empathy, non-judgment… I may have a lot of interventions aside from those and when a supporting person holds those for the survivor, that is when healing happens, just as it does in therapy. I don’t need to know the full story in therapy to affect change in the lives of those around us and neither do you by using the 5 L’s.
Shawn provides brief insight into the mind of the soldier, however, his everyday (Civilian) life scenarios really prove applicable and relatable for folks post traumatic event. For example, replace the 4th of July description of people carrying on and not noticing the sounds around them, with the recent loss of a loved one. Grief can feel similar with that sense of numb hollowness and the world keeps spinning. The flashback scene in the port-a-potty; I have worked with sexual assault survivors describing similar occurrences after a trigger.
The magic in this book is its relatability. While Shawn might describe himself as just a regular dude, that is also what makes him extraordinary. I believe heroes and sheroes are ordinary folks surviving, thriving, and moving through their circumstances to provide hope for others not quite there yet. As a trauma therapist, these 5 L’s help create a foundation of healing in the therapy room, they may be called things like co-regulation, empathy, non-judgment… I may have a lot of interventions aside from those and when a supporting person holds those for the survivor, that is when healing happens, just as it does in therapy. I don’t need to know the full story in therapy to affect change in the lives of those around us and neither do you by using the 5 L’s.
June 19, 2022
Hope
The hope offered in this book is real. While I struggled with some of the thoughts and references, in the end he offered Hope.
A story of moving in life from trauma to living and loving.
Thank you Mr Bananas for your service to our country. Keep hope alive.
The hope offered in this book is real. While I struggled with some of the thoughts and references, in the end he offered Hope.
A story of moving in life from trauma to living and loving.
Thank you Mr Bananas for your service to our country. Keep hope alive.
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April 16, 2025Appreciated the "down-to-earth" approach in discussing trauma and ways to assist in the healing process. Great quotes throughout. Definitely recommended reading!
"Good leaders take responsibility for both good and bad things that happen, and great leaders bring order to chaos."
"Good leaders take responsibility for both good and bad things that happen, and great leaders bring order to chaos."
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews