The Flirtation Experiment: Putting Magic, Mystery, and Spark Into Your Everyday Marriage

by Lisa Jacobson, Phylicia D. Masonheimer

From popular Christian voices Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer, The Flirtation Experiment inspires you to strengthen your marriage with a fun, unexpected approach that leads to the depth, richness, and closeness you desire. Romance novels, Hallmark movies . . . the immense demand for romantic stories reveals a deep, unsatisfied longing that can be found in many marriages, but does it have to be that way? Is it possible that the best marriage has to offer can grow, rather than fade after you say “I do”? Lisa and Phylicia say, “Absolutely yes!” So what is the secret to a happy, thriving, loving marriage, where the fire of romance and close friendship do not fade? While The Flirtation Experiment includes the frisky side of marriage, it’s far more than a good romp. By degrees, each chapter takes you to a deeper place, covering themes every beautiful marriage has in common, such as covenant, healing, and hope. After reading The Flirtation Experiment , wives will “Intentional flirting keeps a positive lightness in the atmosphere and improves our overall communication,” says Jacobson. “My light flirtations bring us closer in meaningful ways and lead to connection on a deeper level. It helps us discover true romance waiting for us in everyday situations.” Perfect for the wife who wants romance, passion, and the closeness that only comes from a deep heart connection but isn’t sure where to start, The Flirtation Experiment is a candid, real-life record of two Christian women from different seasons of life who discovered they could make a significant impact on their marriage relationships, one small flirtatious experiment at a time. Readers can go deeper by using The Flirtation Experiment Workbook.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Relationships, Christian, Self Help, Audiobook, Romance

224 pages, Hardcover

First published December 1, 2021

About the author

I love reading and have an interest in many types of books--from fiction to nonfiction. These are my personal reviews based on the following criteria:
★★★★★ - A book I loved with strong writing and powerful content. One I'd keep on my bookshelf!
★★★★ - A book that is well-written and interesting or inspiring. Would likely reread.
★★★ - A book that I enjoyed but wouldn't necessarily read again.
★★ - A book I didn't enjoy but had some merit.
★ - A book I truly hated or couldn't finish.

Lisa Jacobson is an author, a speaker, and the founder of Club31Women. She is the author of the bestselling 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and other marriage and parenting books.

A graduate of Western Seminary, Lisa lives with her husband, Matt, in the Pacific Northwest, where they have raised their eight children. Together, Matt and Lisa are cohosts of the popular FAITHFUL LIFE podcast.

Reviews

[sincerely · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have so much to say about this book, and much of it is far too personal to write about on this platform. But oh goodness - Christian ladies, pick this one up! I do not see how you can go wrong spending time with The Flirtation Experiment! ❤

The Flirtation Experiment was brought about by Phylicia watching none other than a Hallmark movie. If you've ever seen a Hallmark movie and you're past the newlywed phase, you've probably noticed what she did - that romance, specifically flirting, doesn't look like that once you've been married for a while! But whyyy is that?! So she researched and compiled a list of 30 ways to flirt with her husband and embarked on this experiment. She told Lisa about her idea and they joined forces to bring readers this helpful and honest book about what it looks like to intentionally express affection, support, love, and flirtation with your husband. The authors have different personalities and are at different points in life, but oddly I was able to identify with most of what both of them had to say.

I HIGHLY recommend this book! Start it today. Seriously, going into the busiest time of the year when so many of us do consume romantic movies and books - this is the PERFECT time to do your own flirtation with your husband. Whether you've been married for 5 years or 30 years, you'll love this book!!

Thanks to netgalley and Thomas Nelson for the free review copy. All opinions are my own.

[Lisa Jacobson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If anything, I recommend reading this book for Phylicia’s chapters. So honest, relatable, funny, and then I cried through the Covenant chapter. Also, if you ever get a chance to hear the perspective from Phylicia‘s husband, Josh, it will really touch your heart. It definitely did mine.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this more than I expected. From the beginning, I was expecting something lighthearted and fun, but as the book progressed, it got more "serious." I ended up being much more spiritually encouraged and challenged in how I view my marriage and treat my husband. I also appreciated the two authors - one in a "newer marriage" (less than 10 years, if I remember correctly) and one married for much longer (I think it was more than 40 years). The alternating chapters felt like speaking with a peer and receiving wise counsel from my Mom, which was a great set up, in my opinion.

[Rebekah Barkman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I often get annoyed at the trite advice a lot of marriage books offer, but I gleaned some good takeaways from this one.

[Elise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short, easy read. There were a lot of wonderful suggestions that would be easy to implement. The advice was Christ centered and valuable for any marriage, whether or not you're struggling.

I already purchased the book, and I'll be reading it again!

[Tacy Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Phylicia and Lisas content, so I was excited to read this! Sweet, short read! Practical and thought provoking. This is one I will return to when I have been married longer!

[Joel Rasmussen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading it not realising it was written for wives. A good reminder in keeping romance and flirtation alive throughout the entire span of your marriage and how much it means for a husband to have a wife that pursues this. Actually a lot deeper especially towards the end of the book than I thought it would be

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
I rolled my eyes when I started reading this book because it was not what I was expecting. Despite the title, I guess I was caught off-guard finding out it would literally be 30 "flirtation experiments". I am glad I didn't put the book back on the shelf after reading the Preface. I tried out a bunch of the experiments in my own marriage and even though I felt really silly at times, the reaction from my husband was so positive! One example that comes to mind is from the chapter on Tenderness. Am I tender with my voice? Do I speak with my husband while busily multitasking 4 different things and not really listening for an answer? There is definitely some overlap in the 30 chapters but this book definitely made me self-examine and gave me ideas on how to "keep pursuing, to keep investing in [our] marriage, and, most of all, to keep inviting Christ to be [our] center." (pg. 180). Even after 7 years, somehow there is still room for improvement! ;)

[Deon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't advice or how to, just some Cncouraging and practical suggestions to help navigate the different seasons of marriage.

Read audiobook, which was read by the authors. Enjoyable to listen to.


$2.99 on Kindle
June 9, 2023
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[Rachelle Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review Coming Soon!

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will absolutely help women everywhere in every season. It is written by two women in completely different seasons of marriage, and I can't tell you how helpful that was as a wife and reader. Also, there are so many different categories of experiments in the book, it makes it much more relatable and realistic. Whichever one I am feeling low in at the moment, it gives great inspiration. Now mind you, this is not how-to book and it also is not a pinterest/blog list of different things to do with your husband. No, it is the author's experiences and what they did that specifically meant something for them and their husbands. Which means, yes, the reader has to use their imagination, but also it gives the freedom to do something that will truly speak to the husband that we are married to.

[Lena · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s easy to fall into repetition and distraction in marriage amidst the daily grind, especially with small children in tow. This book was such an encouraging book about prioritizing fun and passion in your marriage, no matter what season of life you’re in.

I loved the dual perspectives from both a more seasoned mom of eight (Lisa Jacobson) and a mom of three younger children (Phylicia Masonheimer). Their anecdotes are helpful and interesting, and everything they share is rooted in Scripture.

Listened on audiobook, and it was a short, edifying listen!

[Emilie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!

It’s both practical and narrative, real/nitty gritty while being gracious and hopeful!

My marriage is in a good place but I wanted to read this for more ideas of adding spark and loving my husband well.

I appreciated the more experienced lessons from Lisa and the more my age lessons from Phylicia. Both gave wisdom, grace, practical ideas, and a fun perspective of loving your husband and flirting with him.

Highly recommend, especially for anyone in the trenches.

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much more than the title implies!

[Cover Lover Book Review · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just for a bit of perspective, I've been happily married for going on 37 years and still received many blessings from this book. I say that to say this...you don't have to be in a strained relationship, dull marriage, or troublesome times to benefit from The Flirtation Experiment.

This book doesn’t contain pages of advice and isn’t a ‘how-to’ book. It simply displays some experiments the two authors performed in their own marriages, what they learned, how it changed them, and ideas we can take from them.

The authors’ alternating chapters highlights the experiments in their own season of life one married a short time (7 years) and one married longer (30 years.) These different perspectives and experience levels make the book even more interesting. I like the conversational tone, the short chapters, and the biblically based views.

Highly encouraging, this book inspires women to fan the flame of romance, intimacy, and communication with hubby.

Many thanks to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for providing this product/product information for review. Opinions are 100% my own. I did receive the product in exchange for this review and post.

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[Kendra Neal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ever feel like you are needing to find ways to put "SPARK" in your marriage? Whether you have been married a few years or MANY years, it seems like the busyness of life can take over and the SPARK fades a bit. The Flirtation Experiment by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer is a wonderful book that helps encourage you to do just that.

I really enjoyed this book fully. I have been married for 23yrs, almost 24yrs, and it does seem that we are looking for SPARK for our marriage. I LOVE how the 2 authors take turns writing the Chapters, first Lisa(married 30yrs) and then Phylicia(married 7yrs), and they keep alternating. The fact that the authors have each been married for different lengths of time is a wonderful perspective for this book. The chapters are filled with stories from the Authors own marriages, a Biblical View of Marriage, the suggestions of "Flirtation Experiments", and some Biblical Based Questions to ask each others as spouses. The book is a quick read, but very encouraging. I highly recommend this book for Married Couples at all stages in Marriage. GREAT BOOK!

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[Haley Baumeister · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly rich reflections on their various “experiments”. I appreciated the systematic way they covered a variety of angles to consider for connecting with your husband. In fact, many of these were just that — prompts to intentionally connect & initiate depth in a relationship. So, much of this book could be applicable to any relationship or friendship, really! I always appreciate the wisdom gleaned from Phylicia — whether that’s theology, church history, or how Christians can know what they believe & live that out in relationships.

[Bianca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the biggest takeaways are 1) communication with your spouse is ongoing, 2) be intentional , & 3) be willing to move beyond your comfort zone for the sake of (specifically) your spouse and their needs. I enjoyed this book and related to Phi moreso in terms of not being naturally inclined to think/act in a lovey way by default. These things can be unlearned and transformed, by the power of Christ and by making an effort. Their practical examples were also helpful!

[Karla Vann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an easy read with lots of ideas and ways to invest in your marriage. The authors give practical steps while encouraging the reader to depend on the Holy Spirit and to not only focus on behavior, but on areas of refinement in the heart. I would like to revisit when I’m not a month postpartum because I’d like to do a lot of the experiments but they just aren’t feasible right now. Still encouraged though! :)

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book for women if you are looking to improve your marriage relationship. Each chapter is simple to read and gives a challenge for the reader. Could be a good read with a friend as you try it together and encourage each other.

I appreciate that the authors mentioned several times that they are not encouraging someone to stay in an abusive relationship. Also that they are not saying that it’s either partners job to carry the whole weight of fixing a marriage.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this one! I enjoyed hearing two perspectives - one from a younger wife who was very honest about their struggles in the early years, and then from an older wife with many more years of experience. They both had excellent chapters and I enjoyed them all.

I suppose I expected this book to be a little more lighthearted and fun (based on the title). However, they covered a lot of very deep topics in here as well.

This book definitely gave me some good insight and ideas on how to love my man in various ways as we navigate life together.

[Danielle Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was a fantastic book for anyone who is married or planning to get married. Phylicia and Lisa were both so transparent and had great ideas for bringing couples closer to God and closer to each other.

[Rachelle Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This whole book is one big reminder on the importance of pursuing my husband…with lots of good, practical ideas on how to do so. Loved it.

[Alexis Meacham · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book more than five stars, I would. I think the title makes it sound superficial, but it went deeper than that, in my opinion. This has the potential to revamp your marriage in practical ways. Loved it. I plan to listen again and take notes.

[Lauren Acosta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good!

[Emily Pickens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a helpful exploration into Christian marriage, relationships and life. The authors shared openly about their own lives and marriages, and, I believe, help readers consider practical ways to bring God’s grace, joy and love into their own relationships.

[Vanessa Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like reading books on marriage around our anniversary. I didn't find it as profound or inspirational as others, but I might try the workbook companion to focus on one experiment each week.

[Michaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will be a great book to come back to! I found that it's easy for me to become complacent in my marriage. This book offers some great suggestions on how to go back to dating your spouse and being more intentional.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had great timing in my life. Loved the practical ideas and examples. Recommend! ❤️

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Encouraging and practical suggestions. Small things can really help, looking forward to using some of these ideas.